Written: August 15, 2004 (edited: Sept. 21)

A/N: Unfortunately it looks like updates on this fic will be very slow coming out. What with moving house, homework, and other junk... sighs

Chapter 2 - Beginnings

He woke up screaming. Screaming in a way he hadn't done for a long time, not since those first few weeks after Sanzo had saved him from Mt. Gogyo.

Goku opened his eyes and his scream died in his throat when he realized where he was. Slowly he began to remember and distinguish dream from reality. They had not fallen into a cave. They had stopped last night at an inn. He was sharing a room with Gojyo.

"Goku? What's happening?"

Speak of the devil. He could feel Gojyo hovering over him and clutched the blanket around him, burrowing down beneath the sheets.

Gojyo. He could clearly remember that pang of dislike that had colored his thoughts during his dream. Why had he hated Gojyo so much? Why had it seemed so real?

The door opened, and Sanzo walked in. Goku didn't know exactly how he knew it was Sanzo, he just did. Maybe it was the monk's aura, maybe it was his smell.

"Get out," Sanzo ordered.

He wondered whether Sanzo was talking to him, but then heard Gojyo leave and close the door behind him.

Goku felt the bed sink down slightly as Sanzo sat down next to him. Sanzo said nothing, simply placing on hand on Goku's head, burying his fingers in Goku's hair.

It was just like the old times. This was why Goku worshipped Sanzo. There was, as much as the monk tried to hide it, a part of Sanzo that cared deeply. Most of the time Sanzo didn't even use that side of him, but when Goku really needed it he knew he could count on Sanzo.

After several minutes, Sanzo spoke up. "Idiot."

At that word, spoken so softly, Goku moved quickly and hugged Sanzo around the waist, fighting off the tremors that shook his whole body. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, assuring himself that Sanzo was still alive, that they were both still alive.

"Again?" Sanzo asked.

Goku knew what he meant. He'd always said that after one of Goku's nightmares, asking if he'd dreamt of the same thing. It had been so long since it had last happened, and yet they'd fallen into their usual routine as if it'd only been yesterday.

"No," he responded. "We were trapped. We were all trapped. And there was no food, and little water. We were all going to die. It was my fault. There was no way out!" The words began to rush out faster, and he clutched Sanzo's robe tightly. "If only I'd waited a little longer then we could have been saved, I just didn't want to see you die and have to live alone so then I hit the wall and--"

"Idiot," Sanzo repeated. "We're all going to die."

Somehow, those words comforted him. Because though Sanzo hadn't said them, Goku knew he had silently added the words but not for a long time yet. It was all going to be okay. Sanzo would fight.

Sanzo pushed him away and stood up. "Get dressed. It's almost time to get up anyway."

"What about breakfast?"

Sanzo raised an eyebrow. "Ch'. Hurry up."

Goku leapt up, a warm glow beginning to spread through his body. As Sanzo reached the door, though, a sudden thought struck him and he bowed his head down. "Sanzo?"

Sanzo paused, the door open a crack.

"In the dream... I hated you."

Sanzo stood still for a moment, then repeated himself a third time. "Idiot." He walked out and closed the door softly behind him.

Goku shrugged and concentrated on getting ready for breakfast. A few minutes later, as he was about to walk out the door, Gojyo strolled in.

"You all right, monkey? Had a nice talk with the monk?" Gojyo raised an eyebrow suggestively.

"I'm not a monkey," Goku growled back.

Gojyo laughed. "Funny. You didn't deny the other question."

"Shut up or by the time you get down to the table there'll be nothing left for you!"

"Go ahead and eat, monkey. You'll need to have all your strength to fight me today."

"I could beat you up blindfolded!"

"Oh yeah? Just prove it!"

"I will!" Goku paused when his stomach growled. "Later."

He walked out the door and left it wide open, just to annoy Gojyo. Then he bounded down the stairs and rushed over to join Sanzo and Hakkai.

"Are you all right, Goku?" Hakkai asked.

He felt his cheeks warm up a bit and smiled. "Yeah."

Goku thought back to what he'd said to Hakkai in his dream. As if Hakkai would scoff down food! That was more in Gojyo's style, or even his own. It just went to prove that it had all been just a dream. Maybe the soba noodles the night before hadn't agreed with him.

He stuffed his mouth with food as Gojyo sat down across from him.

"We're going to be crossing an unpopulated area in these next few days," Hakkai informed them. "It should take us four days to get to the next town. I've stocked up with enough food, as well as cigarettes for our two addicts."

Goku grinned at that comment.

"And beer?" Gojyo asked. "Did you take some too?"

"Sanzo said it'd be better not to. Beer is an unnecessary weight at the moment, and we don't want to weigh down Hakuryuu too much, especially as we're taking more supplies than we usually do."

Gojyo looked as if he was about to protest, so Goku added with an evil smile, "We wouldn't do anything to hurt Hakuryuu, right Gojyo? Especially since Hakkai cares so much about him."

Gojyo glared at him, but didn't respond. Hakkai chuckled softly, and stroked

Hakuryuu's cheek with his thumb.

"If you guys are finished, let's go." Sanzo stood up and walked out of the inn.

Goku grabbed as many meat rolls as he could and stuffed them into his mouth before trotting after Sanzo.

Gojyo and Hakkai slowly followed him, speaking in soft whispers so that he couldn't hear them. Goku grinned wryly. They really underestimated his hearing. He could understand every word they said.

He pricked his ears when he heard his name.

"Do you think Goku's all right?" That was Hakkai.

Gojyo snickered softly. "Goku's always all right. And if he isn't, give him some food and he is."

That comment really annoyed Goku, for some reason. But then, Gojyo was always annoying.

He shook his head to get rid of the image of Gojyo's pale, weary face, wishing that damn nightmare would leave him be. He knew not to worry, however. It would soon fade, as all things did.