Coming Home Again

Chapter 1

My name in the present 2004 is Amanda. I hated my name because I graduated with nearly 23 Amanda's. None of which were nice to me. I often go by my middle name, which is Josephine or Joey for short. I loved that name because it was the name of my ancestor. My Great Grandma Josephine to be more specific.

Today had been a day much like all the other ones I experienced. Get up, feed my pets, go on the computer and talk to Sweets, Aura, Moxie, Script, Corky, Cocky and Celtic. Those were the girls that I was tightest with in the NML community. I was an unknown among the Newsies community. No one knew me. I wasn't a big name like Firecracker Williams or Rae Kelly. Blaze or Sketches Conlon. Heck Trolley was a new girl well not really new she's been here for at least a year and she's more well known then I am. Ah well can't win them all and can't please them all. Then I would sit down and work on homework getting frustrated in the process because of the fact that I have dyslexia and ADD. Not to mention and add Depression into that mix. Then I would eat dinner and then go to bed. No big deal in my day as I said.

Life had been hell lately. My depression was back full force, I lost my fiancée who I loved more then anything because of a bitchy self absorbed mother and a jealous best friend that wanted me as his. My ex was now in the Navy and I missed him everyday. However not a day went by that I didn't think about my old life. About my death in that life and how I prayed to god every day to send me back to that life because at least then I had someone who loved me, little ones to care for, and friends from one end of New York to the other. I had everything back then. Even though we were poor we were happy and my life was just so much better back then. However god never granted me my wish and every morning when I woke up to the same old 2004 again I'd shed a tear for the fact that once again my prayers had not been answered.

However the thing that really gets me is how god always listens to your prayers when its like you can't take any more. I mean before I met my ex, I was sitting with a knife to my wrist ready to end it all. But god told me in my heart "give me two days and I will give you something to live the rest of your life for" so I agreed to it and two days later I was given my now ex. I still wonder what's supposed to happen with that one. And I know its also been said by Garth Brooks himself that "some of gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers." I do believe that. But why can't god at least put me back where I belong before he decides not to answer my prayers anymore. I just don't understand but I would soon.