I've finally decided what era they should go to!! It took a lot of thought (a several bags of Cheetos) but I did it. I won't spoil the surprise for you so I'll just move on to the review response.

Tom T Thomson: Why a week or two? (Good chapter BTW)

Response: The reason I said that was because I hate deadlines! (Also, I tend to put it off for as long as possible. Heh heh heh.)

Dark-Sepiroth: Ah, this has added a little more interest.

Can't wait to see where you send em!

The chapter was a little short, but as funny as ever!

Response: Yeah... Upon further reflection I realized that the last chapter was more of a Segue-way than anything else. This chapter should be just as pleasingly amusing as the last.

BearVsChris: Bear: groovy

Chris: i cant belive we didnt review this earlier we are so sorry bear show thw author how sorry

Bear: (on one knee crying) please were so soryy we hadnt reviewed yet forgive us.

Chris: but this is funny stuff keep it up and remeber "FEAR THE TUBE"

Response: Now now. There's no need to grovel. A simple "Lord Caboose" will do. Hope you keep reviewing in the future.

Varewulf: That's right! Fear me, for I am the giant radish! Ehm... maybe not. But you don't fear Kain? I would...

And I have no clue when they might be... demon era from SR2 perhaps? And even if Dumah is a bloody idiot, I still feel a little sorry for him...

Now I want more. This fun! Yay!

Response: No, I do not "fear" Kain. Even though he is a mighty creature, I am the omnipotent author of this fic and shall do with him as I please.

On a lighter note... There is a reason I made Dumah stupid. It's because HE IS!! ALL HE DOES IS THE GAME IS DRUNKENLY FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOU GO!! AND IF YOU LOSE HIM YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO HIS THRONE ROOM AND HE'LL SAY "YOU ARE PERSISTENT" AND I'LL SAY "NO, YOU ARE FNG STUPID YOU $%#$$%$$# PIECE OF $#!T!!!

Ugh. I apologize. I just had to get that off my chest. On with the fic!

Malek and the Brethren had still not left the Time-Streaming device. Although Dumah's wounds were instantly healed. (See? Omnipotent!!)

Malek: Okay. I think that we should all just go out at once and see what awaits us.

Raziel: Agreed.

Turel: Not agreed! What if there's some indescribable evil waiting for us.

Malek: Then you'll all be my meat shields. Now move.

They walk through the doorway and into the room. Rahab checks out the cauldron in the center.

Rahab: Hey guys! Check this out!

There's a note in the middle of it. Rahab begins to read it aloud.

Rahab: "To whom it may concern,

Following the resurrection of the Sarafan Army,
We have been relocated to the Sarafan Keep and
are now under leadership of the Sarafan Lord.

-Management
Meridian, Nosgoth. In the year 257 A.K. (After Kain.)

Dumah: Are we destined to die a lonely death?

Zephon: I hope not. Sounds like we have to find this "Sarafan Lord" guy. But what does A.K. mean?

Melchiah: Who cares? Lets just find him, find Moebius, and get the hell out of here.

Malek: Well, Moebius is immortal, so it shouldn't be that hard. But I have a Plan B just in case.

They exit the Stronghold and make their may to Meridian. They are stopped at the gate to the Keep by a guard.

Guard: Halt! What's the password?

Melchiah: F you!!

Guard: Very good. Enter.

Malek: Good. Now we just need to find out where the Sarafan Lord is.

Turel: he's in his office in the furthest most room of the Keep.

Raziel: Huh? How did you know that?

Turel: It said so on the map with the "You Are Here" arrow.

Malek: Onwards!!

They reach the waiting room where they make an appointment with the secretary. Until then, they're amusing themselves with the magazines in the waiting room.

Malek: (Reading "Massacring Vampires Monthly".) Hmm. They certainly have improved the technique since I designed it...

Zephon: (Reading "Chicks In Chain mail") Oh yeah. Look at the curves on that weapon. Mmm mmm.

Dumah: (Reading "Highlights") Bees like honey.

Secretary: Mr. Malek? The Lord will see you now.

Malek: What? Oh. Right. Come minions.

Brethren/Minions: Yes sir.

They walk into the office. The Sarafan Lord is sitting behind a desk filling out forms.

Sarafan Lord: (Looking up from his papers.) Hm. Ah, come right in. Now who are you and what do you want.

Malek: (Whispering to Brethren.) Let me do the talking. (To the Sarafan Lord.) Hello my friend. I am Malek! That's right, Malek! The Protector of The Circle of Nine. The Guardian of the Pillar of Conflict. Wielder of the-

Sarafan Lord: Shut up!! What do you want?

Malek explains their situation.

Sarafan Lord: I see. Hold on. Let me pull up a dossier on you.

He logs on to his computer.

Melchiah: What's that thing?

Sarafan Lord: This? It's a computer. Haven't you ever...? No, of course not! You don't know about Glyph Energy, do you?

Raziel: No...?

Sarafan Lord: It's how we power everything in this city! From streetlights to PS2s.

Dumah: That's crazy! You're crazy!

Sarafan Lord: No I am not. Ah! Here it is! (Reads the profile.) Malek... Most mentionable deed... Allowed the Circle to fall while he was "pimpin' wit his homies". (Gives Malek a questioning stare.)

Malek: (Glances from side to side.) Er... Um... I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.

Sarafan Lord: Riiiight. Well, anyways. I couldn't help you even if I was inclined to. Moebius died over 250 years ago. All of his Time-streaming devices are indefinitely locked.

Rahab: There must be something you can do?

Sarafan Lord: Nope. Bye bye.

Zephon: You prick!!

Zephon charges at the Sarafan Lord. He dodges the assault with relative ease.

Sarafan Lord: So be it! From this moment on, I declare you enemies to our cause! Begone from here!

He teleports them to the Lower City of Meridian.

Zephon: Crap!!

Melchiah: So what was that "Plan B" you were talking about?

Malek: Alright. Supposedly there's an ancient relic that can bend time and space to create doorways to any location within Nosgoth. It's called the Nexus Stone. I'm betting that with some creative tampering it will be able to create doorways to any time in Nosgoth.

Raziel: Sounds like a solid plan. How do we find the stone?

Malek: I dunno. I guess we just ask around.

Rahab: And how can we "tamper" with it to get it to do what we want?

Malek: Details, details! We'll cross that bridge when come to it. No w let's get a move on. First order of business is to find some breakfast.

Dumah: (Pointing to a tavern down the street.) Let's eat there! It looks festive!

Turel: "The Red Raven Pub" huh? Okay. Any place is as good as any other.

They enter the pub and take a seat. A waitress walks up to them.

Waitress: What can I get ya?

Raziel: Cream filled donuts.

Turel: French toast.

Dumah: Cap'n Crunch.

Rahab: Blueberry pancakes.

Zephon: Omelet with some of those little sausages.

Melchiah: Waffles with a side of eggs over easy.

Malek: The heads of all my enemies served on a silver platter!!

Everyone in the room stares at him.

Malek: I mean... you're breakfast special.

Waitress: Comin' right up.

Raziel: Right. I'm gonna go ask some people what they know about the Nexus Stone.

Turel: Sure.

He returns about the same time their food is brought to them.

Rahab: Well? Learn anything?

Raziel: Not really. Just that if we want more info we need to head down to the Slums.

Malek: We'll go tomorrow. Right now we need to find a place to sleep.

Melchiah: why don't we go stock up on supplies and stay at the Stronghold. It being abandoned and all.

Malek: Excellent idea. Half of you come with me for the supplies. The other half prepare a place for us to sleep in the Stronghold.

Zephon: Righto

So they prepare the Stronghold to house seven grown men. After they're all done, they celebrate with a game of cards.

Dumah: Go fish.

Rahab: Uh... Dumah? We're playing Hearts.

There you have! I sent them to the BO2 era about 150 years before Kain awoke. I decided that that was the place where they could do the most harm without interfering with the LoK timeline (It is still a Parody). Review and tell me what you thought! I eagerly await your responses.