Disclaimer: FFVII is not mine, but with the help of some duct tape and a chair, Cloud is.

Cloud: bound and gagged in the chair with duct tape Mmmf! Mmmmffmmmmff!!!

Author's Notes: I really didn't want to cut that chapter in half, but I tried posting a very long X/99 fic and cut out some of the dialogue. So due to my paranoia, Part Two of Cloud's memories about Sephiroth is here for your enjoyment. That, and I wanted you to suffer. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!! ahem Well, just enjoy the fic...

Remembrance

Chapter Four: Long Forgotten, Part Two

Later that evening Cloud was alone in his room. He'd been so distraught that he hadn't eaten anything at dinner, and now his stomach growled in agitation. Lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, he realized that maybe he'd been a little harsh on his two friends...after all, they'd admitted it was only a joke.

He sat up and rubbed the back of his neck. Then again, Sephiroth never seemed the type for practical jokes. Every newspaper article Cloud had read about him, every interview on TV...everything had portrayed him as quiet and reserved. But even Cloud knew that people could act differently when in the company of friends...

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. Slowly, he rolled off the bed, crossed to the door, and opened it. Sephiroth was there, his silver hair glowing almost as intensely as his eyes in the lights of the city filtering through Cloud's window. Cloud froze in his presence, his blood tingling in his veins. If angels really existed, maybe this was what they looked like...

"May I come in, or are you going to stand there staring?"

Cloud blushed slightly. "Sorry."

He moved out of the way, and Sephiroth stepped in, closing the door behind him. The General sat at the foot of Cloud's bed, his Mako eyes glowing like emerald embers in the dim light from the desk lamp. Cloud merely stood there, unsure of what to do, or even if he should move at all.

Sephiroth looked up at him finally, a strange mix of emotions in his expression. "I truly apologize for what happened today. We didn't know you would take it as hard as you did. We weren't trying to insult you—when we said we would help you, it was serious."

Cloud swallowed. "I'm the one who should apologize. I acted really stupid. But it's always been my dream to join SOLDIER...mostly because of you. You always seem so calm, even in battle. I thought that maybe..." He felt the tears in his eyes, and he angrily raised his bare forearm to wipe them away. "Maybe the kids in Nibelheim wouldn't laugh at me."

He heard Sephiroth's footsteps and, sure that the General would leave, he laughed bitterly. "I guess I shouldn't be in SOLDIER at all, I cry so easily."

Feeling a hand on his cheek, Cloud looked up in surprise. He blushed sharply when he realized that Sephiroth's face was no more than five inches away from his own. The green eyes seemed to swallow up all the available light until only their own ethereal glow remained. Cloud became only vaguely aware that his tears were openly coursing down his cheeks; he was too preoccupied in wondering why his heart was beating so rapidly.

"S-Sephiroth...?"

Cloud gasped as the angel bent forward and drank in the tears with soft, tender kisses. When he was finished he looked back at Cloud with that same mix of emotion—of sadness, of hope, of calm, even of fear.

"I know how it feels," he said quietly. "All my life my own dreams have been smashed. Never once have I been allowed to follow my path—I've been forced to follow the path that Shinra has given me. Besides..." He slowly ran his thumb across Cloud's lower lip. "Even soldiers cry sometimes."

As Sephiroth pressed his mouth against Cloud's the sensation was intense, almost heavenly. His mind swallowed up by emotion, he was only half aware of falling backwards onto his bed, with Sephiroth falling with him...

That had been the only time they had gone that far, but in the few weeks leading up to the trip to Nibelheim they somehow found time for at least something together. Sephiroth (and to a lesser extent, Cloud) insisted on secrecy, lest someone in Shinra named Hojo start poking and prodding and asking awkward questions. So with the threat of a non-fairytale mad scientist hanging over them like the angry green clouds of an approaching tornado, Cloud picked up the habit of looking at the walls for hidden cameras or glancing over his shoulder to see if he were being followed.

A quick embrace here, a kiss in some dimly lit corner there—Cloud never really minded that Sephiroth was almost too busy for their relationship. He was happy just by knowing that Sephiroth was always there for him.

Then for three entire days Sephiroth disappeared completely. Cloud tried to rationalize it at first, but after the second day he was nearly losing his mind. He finally asked Zack where he thought Sephiroth might be.

"Oh, yeah. Snow White's at Headquarters about this time every year. Not sure what goes on, but he comes back a little moodier than usual."

On the evening of the third day Cloud was lying on his bed, his forearms tucked behind his head. Just when he remembered Zack's reply and began wondering if "moodier" was even a word there was a knock at his door. He smiled to himself as he rolled off the bed and went to answer it.

Sephiroth...

He was disappointed when he saw Zack standing in the hall. But when he realized that the Gongaga native was almost as pale as Sephiroth he opened the door fully. "Zack? What's wrong? I mean, what—"

"Sephiroth's back."

Cloud brightened at the words. "Really?! Where is—"

"Shut up and let me finish," Zack replied as he entered the room, closing the door behind him. "Like I said, he's back...but something's wrong. I saw him in his room and..."

His voice faded.

"Tell me," Cloud urged. By now his heart was pounding like a hammer in his chest. Had something terrible happened to Sephiroth?

Zack sighed. "He was...trying to kill himself."

Cloud's heart now stopped beating for the length of two full seconds. When it resumed he swallowed hard. "W-what? Why would he..."

"I don't know." Zack eased into the chair at Cloud's desk and leaned back, crossing his arms. "I heard he was back, so I went up to his room to cheer him up. He had a loaded Peacemaker to his head about ready to blow his brains out. Good thing I was able to stop him."

He hesitated again, then finished: "I think that's about the only time I've been able overpower him. He was so depressed he couldn't even fight back..."

Finally he looked up at Cloud. "He's close to you, kid...he won't tell me anything. Would you at least talk to him?"

Cloud thought for a moment, taking in all that Zack had said. He nodded after only a short time. "I'll do it."

"Sephiroth?"

No answer.

Cloud knocked softly on the door. "Sephiroth...it's me, Cloud. Can I come in?"

Again, no answer.

"Sephiroth, listen," Cloud said, trying to keep his voice even as he turned the doorknob. "I know you're depressed and Zack—"

Blood.

As Cloud swung the door open fully saw that one entire area in the carpet was soaked in the sticky red substance. The smell mixed with the smell of incense and gave off an unusual odor—like that of calla lilies.

While staring at the grim scene Cloud realized he was not alone. Sephiroth was sitting at the foot of the bed, inspecting a knife. He was bare from the waist up, his abdomen swathed in bandages that were also drenched in blood.

As Cloud stepped forward Sephiroth looked up in surprise. "Cloud...what are you doing here?"

He blinked his tears back. "Zack told me what you tried to do. You almost did it again, right? Or...you did..."

Sephiroth turned his gaze to the huge bloodstain on the floor. "It doesn't matter. I can't kill myself no matter what I try."

Cloud sat beside him, staring at the knife's red stains. "What do you mean?"

The green-eyed angel looked back at him with such self-loathing that Clod felt like crying all over again. Slowly Sephiroth turned both the knife and his wrist so they were held over the floor. "Watch. Don't interfere."

Before Cloud could protest Sephiroth jabbed the knife into his wrist. Gritting his teeth in pain he gave the blade a wicked twist that caused the blood to trickle down and drop to the floor. Despite the gruesome spectacle Cloud found himself staring at the blood; again, there was the overpowering smell of lilies, but the crimson drops were more unusual than just their smell. It almost reminded Cloud of the gel-ink pens that Tifa used—the drops glittered in the light with an eerie purple hue.

Finally Sephiroth wrenched the knife free and stared at the wound like it was an abomination. "Watch carefully."

Cloud gasped as the gaping wound quivered and pulsed, then began to close. "W-what the—"

"I accidentally cut myself on a piece of glass at Headquarters," Sephiroth explained. "The nurse went to get a bandage, but it was already healed..." He held his wrist close to his body. "I've noticed it before, in battle. I would feel the wound but it would be gone by the time I was able to attend to it. I can't even bleed right."

Hiding his face with his arms, Sephiroth drew his knees up onto the bed, his entire body trembling. "What's wrong with me? Am I even human? If not—what am I?"

With tears flowing down his own face, Cloud shifted forward and pried the knife from Sephiroth's fingers. He threw it down and cradled his lover's upper torso in his arms, resting Sephiroth's head on his shoulder.

"It's okay," he said quietly. "You're human, I know you are. Tomorrow we'll go to Nibelheim and when we come back everything will be okay."

He kissed the silken silver of the ivory strands as he whispered:

"I promise."