Title: The Growing Pains of Draco Malfoy: Age 16
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A year in the life of Draco Malfoy, caring son and worthless prat, not to mention loving brother to his parents new child.
Author: Punk up the Volume
Thursday September 13th
Couldn't sleep last night. Wandered the halls for a bit before I ran into Ginny. She seemed dead mad, but when I asked her about it, she told me to blow it out my hole. Honestly, some people are so ungrateful.
Returned to my bedroom. Pansy had obviously fallen asleep in my bed while waiting for my return with a rose in her mouth wearing a skimpy neglige. I slept on the couch and spent half the night freezing to death.
Friday September 14th
Think I figured out the reason for Ginny's poor attitude. Before first class, Millicent Bulstrode, resident gossip of the Slytherin dungeon, reported that Ginny had come upon Potty and the Mudblood in the common room closet during a very heavy session of petting.
I tried to be very polite to her during Muggle Studies, but she seemed quite resistent to my gentlemanness. She kept kicking my leg and telling me to stay on my own side of the table.
On the bright side, only three spots!
Saturday September 15th
Dead interesting day.
Woke up and went down to breakfast after the common room had already been cleared out. Goyle made me eat a disgusting bowl of glop called "Tasty Wheats". He said it was the breakfast of champions. It obviously didn't work though, because Slytherin lost to Gryffindor, 150 - 10. I am not bitter however because Potter took a marvelous spill off his broom.
After the game, I got into quite a shouting match with Derek. He blamed the entire loss on my, saying that if I hadn't been so distracted, we would have won. I tried to explain that I was only distracted because Pansy had been jumping up and down in the stands, waving a sign with my name in the middle of a heart. It was very disturbing.
Decided not let the night go to waste. I snuck into the Gryffindor victory party and muddled around for a bit. I was scared to eat anything; I'd heard that Fred and George Weasley had catered the party. Didn't feel much like changing into a parrot.
Went into the bathroom because I had to pee like a racehorse, when who should I come upon, but a Ginny Weasley, spilling in the last stall. I asked her if she knew she was in the boy's bathroom. She started to laugh like a maniac and told me I had pretty eyes. I couldn't believe my eyes! The ever innocent Ginny was drunk off her ass!
Of course, the humor didn't last when I had to hold back her hair as she was sick. I tried not to look, I figured it impolite. She must be a sad drunk because every so often so would start sputtering like a leaky teapot and then start bawling all over my chest.
My shirt is ruined.
Sunday September 16
Received a letter from Mum. Said that her and the Lunatic were going on a retreat to the Faulkland Islands. I think they are turning into hippies. How embarressing! No new news about "IT". I counted how many months of freedom I had left before "IT" took over our lives.
No spots!
Monday September 17th
I am failing Muggle Studies! Professor Cornelius told me after class, quite loudly so that I'm sure everyone in the corridor could hear. Why should I be blamed if I don't know what a "mircowave" is? It's my environment at home that's the trouble! I went on, telling her that I am the under appreciated child of two very selfish people. I was hoping to get a bit of sympathy and maybe a grade raise, but she just told me to stop whining and get out of her classroom.
She has no compassion for a tortured soul. I should start writing dark poetry, I'm sure that I am just a passionate artist. Why must people insist on squashing my creative nature?
Four more spots. It must be stress.
Tuesday September 18th
Thanks alot, Professor Cornelius! She sent a letter home to my parents and I have received a howler back from the Lunatic, telling me that if I don't ship up then he's going to stop paying for Hogwarts and kick me out of the house.
I considered writing back and telling him that I am a tortured artist, but that most likely would not sit well with him.
Ginny's been gone the past two days. Maybe's she's sick. Now I get all the leg room I want.
Wednesday September 19th
I tried writing a poem today. It was about a tender soul bing trampled on by his condescending caregivers. I think it turned out quite good.
Oh! Trampled soul!
Trampled mind!
I am repressed, repressed!
Oh! I must break free
of this opressive barrier.
It is not my fault
I am failing.
I am a regular Robert Blake!
Ginny gone again. Perhaps she has the flu. Or the worst hangover I've ever heard of! Ha!
Thursday September 20th
Ginny was back today. She looks perfectly wretched. She won't look me in the eye, even when I asked to borrow a quill. Perhaps she has pink eye and is embarressed.
I am thinking about showing her my poem. Her family is poor, she must know all about opression.
Friday September 21st
Saw Ginny in the hallway. Was about to ask her if we had homework in Muggle Studies, but when she saw me, she gave me a frightened look and promptly ran in the other direction. Was it my spots? I need more reguvinating skin cream.
Saturday September 22nd
I have been sixteen for a month! Marked the occasion with chocolate. My first piece in weeks. I'm surprised I have not broken out yet.
Professor Cornelius called me into her office earlier this morning and told me that if I didn't raise my grade in the next few weeks, she would have to inform Dumbledore. I told her to go right ahead, I'm not afraid of conflict.
Two detentions.
Sunday September 23rd
Spotted Ginny out by the lake by herself. She looked lost and forlorn. I figured now would be a good time to talk to her about paying for the shirt she ruined with her tears and vomit. I will be happy to take payment in the form of various sexual favors. I was quite surprised upon reaching her that she was crying. She looked startled to se me and quickly wiped her eyes and asked me what the bloody hell I wanted.
No seemed like an inappropriate time to ask about the shirt. I asked if she was alright and why she had been avoiding me in the hallways.
"I've just been...embarressed." she muttered back. Embarressed, ha! I asked her why.
"You held my hair back while I was piss drunk and vomiting all over the floor, how was I supposed to face you? I'm surprised you haven't told the entire school." I had the sudden urge to say something comforting, but nothing came to mind. So instead, I wiped her cheek and asked her to read my poem.
She seemed shaken when I touched her, but agreed to read it. Luckily, I had it in my back pocket so that it might cause me inspiration at any moment. She read it over with a grimace and when she finished she told me that I have absolutely no future in writing and that my poem was so terrible she had no longing to read poetry again.
I appreciate her honesty.
Monday September 24th
Potions did not go to well. Had trouble sleeping last night, so I was crippled by exhaustion. Scored a 20 on my test and a 59 on my paper. Snape was quite disappointed, told me that I was slacking. I managed to crank out a few tears and convince him that my father was emotionally dead. He felt so horrible for me that he pushed the paper up to an 89! Success! He
Ginny smiled at me weakly in Muggle Studies. Felt that feeling in the pit of my stomach again. I'd better have that looked at.
Tuesday September 25th
Went to see Madame Pomfrey before breakfast. She said that there was nothing physically wrong with me, that it's just nerves. I spent the rest of day in bed until Professor Snape pulled me out and told me to go to class. I told him that my nerves were shot and I was in a fragile emotional state. I tried crying again, but it didn't work. He sent me up to Herbology.
We were working on the disection of a Maass plant. Ron Weasley threw a handful up dirt in my face, so I tackled him and starting beating on him until Crabbe and Goyle pulled me off. They said I was crying, but they're lying. Why would I cry when it gives me so much pleasure to hurt Weasley? Perhaps they were tears of joy? Maybe Madam Pomfrey is right. My nerves must be shot all to hell.
Wednesday September 26th
Well, that's it, I've been suspended. My parents were quite indignant about that fact that they had to come in for a meeting in McGonagalls' office. The Lunatic seemed especially grumpy. Perhaps he was waken from his mid-afternoon nap.
Mum's bulge was starting show. She showed it to everyone in the office and made them all touch it. Both the Weasley parents were there, along with Ron who was sporting a nice black eye.
McGonagall started off by telling Weasley and me that we should be ashamed of ourselves. Then the Lunatic muttered under his breath that it's not my fault that Ron acted so childish.
Mr. Weasley reacted by jumping out of his chair and yelling, "Who are you calling childish?"
"You and your little brat!" my father shouted back, jumping out of his chair, too.
"You no good dirty, bastard-"
That was when the first punch was thrown. I'm not sure who threw it, but before I knew it, the two of them were on the floor, rolling around, their fists flying. Mum and Mrs. Weasley tried pulling them off of eachother, but Ron and I just sat there, egging them on. Eventually, we all ended up in the hospital wing, with Madam Pomfrey patching up the both of them.
Mr. Weasley had a shiner exactly like Ron's. It was quite funny! Ha! But the Lunatic was grumbling under his breath, muttering about his bloody lip.
"You ought to be ashamed of yourselves." McGonagall said for the second time in twenty minutes. "If you two were enrolled, I would expell you on the spot! But for now, you will have to deal with your children. They are each suspended for three days."
It was quite a relief. No Muggle Studies for three days! I should have thought of this years ago!
Thursday September 27
Back home with Mum and the Lunatic. He's locked my door and told me that I'm not coming out until I've got at least three hours of studying done. Three hours! What, does he think I'm a genius?
I jumped out my window and ran off to the Quidditch Pitch. I thought about running away, but then decided I really like being a rich. It was a hard decision, but I finally decided to go back to my room. I landed on the bed right as the Lunatic came in and asked me how it was going.
"Excellent. I'm learning gobs." I lied through my teeth.
"Good." he answered, smiling. "Then you can help the house elf sweep out the chimney."
Just because I've been suspended, they treat me like the help! Maybe I just will run away!
Friday September 28th
Day two of my slavery. I feel as if I might go insane. Today I did the dishes and swept the porch! My bones are weary from exhaustion. I shant make it another day!
Saturday September 29th
Finally, the last day of my imprisonment. My mother was in such a good mood she baked a cake, and it didn't turn out too bad. You could just tear off the burnt parts. The Lunatic on the other hand was dead horrible. He spent the whole day muttering about Ministry raids. He shouldn't worry so much, he's going to drive himself even more bonkers than already.
Sunday September 30th
Finally I am back at Hogwarts! Neglected all of my homework and spent the day wallowing in bed, trying to rest my aching bones. Pansy tried to climb in with me, I kicked her out and locked the door. Tried writing another poem, but couldn't seem to think of anything worth while.
It seems in my absence that Crabbe has got himself a girlfriend. She's a fifth year Hufflepuff named Raven and she only wears black. She talks in limericks and is dead depressing. I think she is a beatnik. She frightens me to my very core.
Monday October 1st
Tried to play sick, but Snape wasn't buying it. He dragged me right out of my bed into the commons. I was still in my jammies for goodness sake!
Muggle Studies went excellently bad. I told Professor Cornelius that my father tore up my assignment in a fit of rage but she told me that I had four detentions and had better get my grade up or she would talk to Dumbldore about expulsion.
Ha! Expell me? She wishes!
Tuesday October 2nd
I am going to be expelled! That is, unless I find myself a tutor. They can't force me to learn, I have rights!
Perhaps I'll ask Ginny to tutor me. She smells like pinapple and cream. Even though I am allergic to pinapple, it is still a very appealing fragrance. Perhaps she will have time between her snogging sessions with Seamus Finnigan to help me a bit.
Wednesday October 3rd
Ginny has agreed to tutor me so long as I stay on my own side of the table from now on. I explained that I have long legs and they must be stretched, but she just glared at me so I agreed. We start tomorrow night in the library. I'm not sure where it is, I've never been.
Crabbe is starting to change. Yesterday he told me that my laugh is annoying. Ha! Ha! He doesn't know what he's talking about. Further more, he's started wearing a stupid baret and snapping his fingers when he talks. This is not normal.
Thursday October 4th
Now he has gone to far! Crabbe has started wearing all black. I informed him that black and green are my signature colors and therefore off limits to him. He just grunted and told me to stop being a prat.
Why does everyone keep calling me a prat? I am not a prat! I am merely flamboyant!
Besides, the black really clashes with his complexion. Honestly, doesn't he take any pride in his appearance?
Ginny postponed our first tutoring meeting. She said she had some things to clear up. Later I saw Seamus Finnigan walking down the corridor, crying. I felt a jolt in my stomach and it didn't feel to bad. Is this what they call happiness?
Friday October 5th
Met with Ginny in the library. I sat a mere two inches away from her and was quite scared by the feelings brewing in my stomach. This is not natural! I could die! I heard most of what she said, but a few times my eyes glazed over and I just stared. My eyes must have wandered downward a bit because out of the blue, she hit me. It hurts still.
Saturday October 6th
I asked Goyle what he thoughts the feelings in my stomach might be. He thought perhaps an ulcer. I asked if those were fatal. He said probably!
I am lying on my deathbed! I am thinking of Ginny!
Wait, why am I thinking of Ginny!
Those wretched feeling are back!
Monday October 7th
Went up to the infirmary, but Madame Pomfrey refused to see me! She said that she was sick of me taking up her time and space and that I was just being paranoid. I told her that if I died it would be on her head and then ran back to the common room so I could sneak back to bed before Snape found me.
I was unsuccessful.
Tuesday October 8th
I am clever. I hid under my bed this morning and skipped classes. Snape didn't even notice I was gone, the ugly git.
Received letter from Mum. They said that they're thinking about naming "IT" Oliver. I think it's a wretched name. It can't stand up to the valor of "Draconis". Obviously, they can only go downhill from perfect.
Wednesday October 9th
Saw Ginny in the dining hall, making a scene with Dean Thomas. That girl gets around more than I do! I rushed away before I could have any of those horrible "feelings". They only confuse me.
Couldn't concentrate on Muggle Studies. Went to bed with a horrible headache. Woke up on a table in the dining hall. Curious.
Thursday October 10th
Decided that Goyle is not the best to ask for medical advice. Consulted Crabbe on the matter. He said it was probably love. Love? Outrageous! I told him he had gone nutters, but he only smirked and went to a poetry reading in the Hufflepuff common room with Raven.
She is changing him. Right before my very eyes.
Friday October 11th
Love? Preposterous!
Saturday October 12th
What if he's right? What will I do? Is it contagious? Will it harm me? I am so confused. I hate love!
Sunday October 13th
Saw Ginny out by the Quidditch Pitch, holding hands with Dean Thomas. More feelings. I promptly ran away and hid under my blankets. I hate Crabbe! I hate Ginny! I hate Dean Thomas! I hate love!
Monday October 14th
Okay, I'm pretty sure I don't hate Ginny. She smelled like peaches and cream today. I asked her to help me study Wednesday. She agreed without much resistence!
I was humming today. I didn't think I knew how to hum.
Tuesday October 15th
What have I gotten myself into!
Tuesday October 16th
Met with Ginny in the library. Tried to concentrate. She was being dead serious. Didn't hear a damn word. Crabbe is a crackpot. It can't be...
Wednesday October 17th
I have resigned myself to the fact that I am in love with Ginevra Weasley! A Weasley! I am a disgrace!
