[ A / N ] - I just wanted to point out that I'm not throwing Mac and Harm into each other's arms. Their relationship is much too complicated for that ;)
Harm let his bag plop down aimlessly to the floor the moment he entered the room. As they had made the trek up the stairs, he had prayed to himself that there would be two beds – he didn't want to sleep on the floor or handle any awkward situations. However, as expected, to the left of the doorway stood a sturdy oak four-poster bed, complete with equally homely sheets and linens.
"Thank you, God," he grumbled, rolling his eyes and glancing to the ceiling. "Throwing this crap at me, too."
Mac blatantly ignored him and slipped out of her shoes, curling her toes once she was free of the restraints. She shifted her weight from foot to foot as if to see if her limbs were able. Finally, she walked to the plush sofa in front of the bed and sat down, glancing outside.
"Maybe if we pray really hard, it'll go away?" Mac said.
"I doubt it." He too sat down and shook his head. "Listen, downstairs, sorry."
She waved it off. "I was stupid."
"Are you alright?"
"Harm, we fight like that all the time. I don't see how this is different."
Mac saw a quick flash of hurt on his face as he paused. She hesitated, contemplating how to reword what she was trying to say.
"I meant in the car, you were acting strange."
"I nearly made us road kill, why shouldn't I be unnerved? A navy-marine carcass." Mac got up and started towards her baggage, searching for something to sleep in. She came across her USMC sweatshirt and an old pair of shorts. "I'll take the couch."
Before Harm could respond, she shuffled to the bathroom and securely closed the door behind her, providing no room for argument.
As he heard the shower turn on from behind the bathroom door, he quickly went into his own luggage, pulling out something to sleep in. As fast as he could, Harm managed to change and put away his wrinkled uniform for later use. He opened the top-most drawer on which a tiny 12-inch TV was perched to find extra linens. After glancing once more at the bathroom to ensure that Mac was not exiting, he quickly set up a make-shift bed on the sofa.
"Time to fight fire with fire…" he breathed under his breath.
Mac vigorously rubbed her hair with the towel as she came out of the bathroom. A small cloud of steam escaped from behind her and she sighed. She was relaxing, getting her rest as Harm suggested, however, she saw he was not.
After scanning the room for a moment, she saw him stretched out over a comforter on the sofa with a file in his hands.
"What're you doing?"
"Reading," Harm said flatly without looking up.
"Get on that bed."
His eyes flicked up. "Why, Mac, isn't it all a bit sudden?"
A low growl escaped her throat. "Please, Harm."
He didn't budge. Instead, he thumbed through the contents of the file. "Did you know that Lieutenant Gray had a juvenile record before enlisting?"
"Cut the crap."
Harm suddenly sat up straight at attention. "Not until you tell me what's with you today."
After putting away her things, Mac nearly fell back to the bed. She grabbed one pillow and held it in front of her, studying it intensely. "I think we need our rest."
"I know that look." She stared at Harm quizzically as he replied, "You once told me that you knew 'the look' I was giving you. I can now say with the utmost confidence that I know your look now. It's the I'm lying look. I've had to work around your lips not doing the upturn thing anymore."
She couldn't believe that her body was betraying her when a smile slowly played on her lips. "Really?"
Harm placed the papers back into the file. He carefully placed them on the floor and turned back to his partner. After a moment hesitation, he squeezed his eyes shut and brought his index finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose.
"As I recall, someone told me a woman wants three things in life. A great career, a good man, and lots of comfortable shoes. Although you may need help in the shoe department," he said, motioning towards her broken high-heel, "The other two areas seem just fine."
"Whoever told you that is a crackpot," Mac smiled back.
"Do you want to talk?"
"Trust me, you don't want to know."
Harm glanced outside through the rectangular window, the rain had ceased to stop, but he was able to disregard the occasional flashes of lightning and crashes of thunder in the homely inn. "I have nowhere to go."
Mac didn't say anything. Instead, she reached over the side of the bed to retrieve her smaller pack, inside which was a small half-eaten sandwich. "I'm starving."
"Didn't we pick that up over one hour ago?"
She shrugged. "From that tiny deli, yes. It tasted funny, so I put it away for later."
"Maybe there's something wrong with it, the place looked a bit seedy."
"Well, if there is, I'm too hungry to care," Mac grumbled. She unwrapped the loosely covered BLT and munched on it slowly, relishing the taste. She had to admit the warmth of the food was a bit strange, but she shook it off with another bite.
Mac's fingers brushed up against the page, hoping that somehow, everything would make sense to her. A case she had been assigned to less than three days ago was an enigmatic puzzle, and it wasn't helping that she was cooped up in the middle of Norfolk, rather than being at JAG investigating. With a sigh, she closed up the folder and discarded it beside her bed.
Harm was sprawled on the couch, his brow furrowed in thought. One hand was draped loosely over its top, near the foot of the bed and his fingers drummed uniformly over the material of the furniture. She leaned back against the propped up pillows and let her gaze rest on Harm as she examined him studiously.
"What's on your mind?" she whispered.
His head snapped to her and his features relaxed after a moment. "Nothing. Why?"
"Well, you keep asking me."
The corners of his lips tilted upward. "Alright, I tell you what I'm thinking about, you tell me what happened to you in the car. Deal?"
She nodded hesitantly and let her body relax, preparing herself for Harm's explanation. However, a clap of thunder made her jump slightly and a slow shiver traveled down her spine as she pulled the blanket up to her waist. As if on cue, the lights in the room flickered ominously, then went off. Downstairs, she could hear a little yelp and a bit of clutter as people reorganized themselves.
"Maybe my little…thing can wait."
Mac gently rolled her legs off the right side of the bed and tiptoed slowly towards Harm's couch until she was beside it. He got up slowly and made his way towards the door quietly. He didn't hear her get up, and bumped into her side.
"Sorry," he whispered, moving around her. He placed himself between Mac and the doorway.
Without thinking, she took a step to find her feet brush his. She couldn't help but feel a flicker of attraction between them as he cupped her elbow and guided her towards the door. Harm opened it to come face-to-face with an unidentified figure.
"Commander? It's Dan. I brought up some candles, seems the whole area's out."
Mac blindly reached her hands out to accept the candles and small package of matches. After a moment of hesitantly moving her arms to search for Dan, she brought the small plastic bag towards her and held it close.
"Thanks," Harm said, slowly moving back and nudging Mac back with him.
"If you need anything, just holler."
With that, Dan reached into the room and closed the door shut. They could here his footsteps echo through the halls, and his voice as he talked to the middle-aged couple in the next room.
Mac squinted as she tried to pick out the shapes in the room. Her eyes had adjusted, and she could make out Harm's tall figure going to the window and opening the shade, letting a bit of moonlight into the dim room. She worked her way to the desk and stood beside Harm, handing him the candles and getting the matches ready to light to room.
A tiny crack was heard as the match went off.
The small flame flickered as Harm spoke. "Careful."
She brought the matchstick to the wick of the candle, which immediately caught fire and illuminated the room in a warm, effervescent glow. She did the same with the remaining four candles and went back to her place on the bed. Harm, however, stood at the window in thought.
"You still need to tell me," she reminded him.
He crossed his arms. The light of the candles accentuated the lines on his face, she realized, and it hurt her inside. When did he become like this? The man she knew when they first met was a carefree bachelor, who wanted nothing more than to serve his country. She had often made fun of his arrogant, cocky attitude – perhaps because of the unfailing camaraderie between them. Years of burden and stress had aged and changed him, but Mac found she yearned for his presence just as much as before.
"Mattie."
Mac sucked in her breath. "What about her?"
"Her and her dad, they've been getting closer. I think soon…"
And with that, Mac understood. "You knew it wouldn't last forever."
"I know, but it was just great to pretend it would, you know?"
A sympathetic smile played on her lips. "Regardless of what happens, Mattie will always be grateful for what you guys had. She'll always love you. She's a wonderful kid, and I'm sure you'll be a great dad one day."
A lopsided grin flashed on his face. "You forgot to finish your sentence."
"What?"
" 'I'm sure you'll be a great dad one day'…whenever that happens."
Mac brought her arms around her and tightened them protectively. "You know I wasn't thinking that."
"I know. But I was." Harm turned towards her. He took several careful steps towards his place on the couch.
"You shouldn't."
Mac closed her eyes, letting the faint sound of the rain outside calm her nerves when she heard a slight yelp from Harm. She sat upright and squinted to see his form hunched over the plush sofa. "Son of a…"
"What? You alright?"
"God damn," he hissed, "I kicked off…my shoes of here. I guess I tripped over and hit my toe on the couch."
She made a visible pout from her place on the bed. "Oh…poor Harmon."
His eyes flicked up. She could feel a playful repartee coming on. "I'll have you know it was my big toe." He turned around and started to the bathroom, as he awkwardly stumbled inside. He attempted to flick the light switch, and then remembered their situation. He hung his head in disappointment.
She exhaled her breath slowly and shook her head in amusement. She retraced her partner's steps through the dimly lit room, carefully picking up a candle between her forefinger and thumb from the side table. For a moment, she felt woozy as her stomach made a soft gurgling noise – it definitely wasn't one of hunger. She quickly shook it off and continued her way to Harm. In the bathroom, Mac instructed Harm to hold it and examined his foot, leaning cautiously over him in the cramped room.
"Well, I'm no Ph.D., but I'd say you broke skin. You're bleeding. You probably hit yourself on the wooden base of the sofa."
"I told you it wasn't a simple stubbed toe."
She smirked and tiptoed to her bags, finding her makeshift first aid kit and withdrawing a Band-Aid. After a moment of venturing back to Harm carefully, Mac dressed his 'wound' quickly and finished with an affirming pat against his calf. For what seemed like the hundredth time that night, Mac went back to the warm bedcovers and laid down, flat on her back but Harm looked after her curiously. She rolled to her side so that he could no longer see her face in the faint light.
Even after all she had said after Paraguay. After the hurt and anger he had felt when he left JAG, towards both her and his coworkers. After months he spent with the CIA as he tried to wash her off him, get past all they had made together. Everything he had shared with Mac shattered the moment she agreed to accompany Clayton Webb on assignment – unbeknownst to him, of course. Harm couldn't believe the revelation he had come upon, and believed wholeheartedly, even after all they had gone through -- Sarah Mackenzie had made an indelible mark on his life and soul.
A small part of him knew it was silly to think that after what she had made clear with both Clay and her recent words to him. The rest of him, however, hoped that she felt the same way.
TBC...
