Second Best
Author's note: Well this chapter is short. I just got this idea, the only idea I had that really worked out for me. So this doesn't really have Seth and Summer in it. Not quite. But I hope you people like it still, and review. The inner media whore needs it. I've had this saved for a few months. And am just updating it as well. Since it's something "new." Uh-huh. Next chapter's S/S. Special guest appearance by Kirsten. Fun!
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More than anything, Summer Roberts feared being alone. Or with the wrong person. In her opinion, they both equally sucked.
And she would know.
Practically all of her life she'd been alone. Not always physically, often just metaphorically. But it was just as bad.
Even as a small child her parents were never around. She barely remembered her mother; the times she did share with her weren't exactly times to remember. For some reason she got the impression her mother didn't want her. She didn't turn out as planned. She wasn't stick thin, like Marissa. And also unlike Marissa, she wasn't a genius. She was pretty enough, sure. But she wasn't gorgeous, like Marissa or Holly or any of her other classmates. She wasn't even the wealthiest, or have the best clothes. She was always second best, that's all she knew. Or third best, or fourth. But never first. Never the best. She was a consolation prize. And everyone knew that the consolation prize was just a nice way of saying that you lost. Or somehow got fucked over.
Her father always worked late, encouraged her to lose a few pounds and maybe then they could go shopping some more. Sure, she was a chubby child. But she'd slimmed down, and was fine with not being a size zero or two like Marissa or Holly. Size four was healthy, right? Not in Newport society.
Then there was the constant string of women being brought into the house. Even when her parents were together, her mom was always attending to "business", code for fucking some guy she'd picked up from who knows where. Summer was never allowed to meet them. As far as those men were concerned, her mother was a single woman, no strings attached. Which meant no children.
Her father on the other hand let her stick around while in his office attending to business of
his own. Mainly stick figures in their early twenties, sometimes he'd even go for the occasional 17 year old at youngest. Or that's what Summer thought. She wasn't quite sure, and frankly didn't want to know about any of these escapades.
In her world, fidelity was way overrated. Something talked about on TV shows, but no one was like that in real life. This proved true as she grew up, even what she considered the model parents, Marissa's, split up. No marriage lasted. Ever.
But still she dreamed of someday getting married, probably something big and elaborate. But that's not what she wanted. She wanted a small wedding, maybe eloping. Or on a beach, or something. She wasn't sure she'd tell her parents, or even Marissa. Her supposed best friend. And she was, but the two of them were growing further apart. They lived different lifestyles in a lot of ways. She often envied Marissa, she seemed to have it all. Lately her world was falling apart, but that's how Summer's had always been. So she had a hard time sympathizing, but tried her best.
Then along came Seth Cohen, and everything changed.
Well, technically he was always there. He just went unnoticed.
Alright, that was a lie, too. Summer noticed him. Noticed his perfect family, and how everyone made fun of him. Noticed he was an outcast never to be spoken to. And she actually felt sorry for him. But she couldn't exactly do anything. Or else she wouldn't fit in either. Which was something she had a hard time doing lately. She did fine, as long as she wasn't herself. As long as she was just like all the others. And it worked for her. But not really. She was still unhappy.
In her lifetime she'd acquired a grand total of three boyfriends. All of whom used her as some trophy. She didn't mean a thing to them. Which they eventually proved, each leaving her for someone better. Often they'd try to get Marissa or Holly. And often they succeeded. Atleast with Holly. Marissa was a bit more loyal than that. That and she had her own boyfriend straight from the Abercrombie catalog. Luke and Marissa had been dating for what seemed like forever. Little did Summer know, Marissa wasn't happy either.
Back to Seth. She wasn't really sure how it happened. It just did. And she was glad for it. Of course she lost him, just like she did everything else. Only this time it was her doing the breaking up routine.
She wasn't entirely sure why she did it. Mainly because she was scared. Scared of what she felt, scared of what feeling this meant, scared of loving someone. Scared of being alone again, letting her walls down, being vulnerable, and getting hurt once more.
She still had him in a sense. They were friends. The unthinkable, how could you be friends with someone you actually might have loved? She couldn't. And she did. Love him, that was. They weren't friends. Because she wanted more.
Author's note: I love Summer. I needed to tell some more of her past. In reviews someone asked why I broke them up. Well I hope this explains a bit more. And I will put Ryan and Marissa in sometime soon. I intended on doing it this chapter, but I didn't have any ideas. So they're welcome. Also, beta reader/s. I've heard of them. If anyone's interested, I would love you forever. Okay, so not the greatest reward. But seriously. That would rock. Oh—and I have to thank my inspiration here. "Tiny Vessels" by Death Cab for Cutie. One line says "She is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me," and it was Summer. Way Summer. Also it may have given me an idea for Seth and Marissa. But it's more of a "he doesn't care about her" thing. Okay enough with my ramblings before they get longer than the actual story.
