In an instant, Abby forgot how exhausted she was, ceased to feel the sting of the air-conditioning against her damp skin. Her eyes, which had been going hazy with sleep, snapped back into focus on the scene before her; Luka, bearing a soft towel and a shy grin, the candles he'd set out flickering over a cozily set table...
She let herself lean forward, wrapping her arms around his waist and feeling his own fall down to encircle her shoulders. She nestled into his chest, feeling the weight of his chin on her head. Standing like this, as they did now and then, she felt closer to Luka than ever - than, truly, she ever felt to anyone. She wasn't even sure that making love with him could rival the intimacy of this. Truly relaxing for the first time that day, she whispered, Thank you."
"For what?" he murmured.
"For being there," she managed as they gently swayed back and forth. "And here. Everything."
He sighed then, softly, moving his head until his lips brushed her hair. "It never troubles me to be with you, Abby. I...I care about you. Don't think you know how important you are." She could feel a tension in his arms now, but he didn't let go. His chest rose against her cheek as he drew breath, but for a moment he didn't speak. Then - "I love you."
Frozen by reflex, she jerked back the tiniest bit, but it was enough. He felt her push against his arms and dropped them to his sides, making her shudder suddenly. Cold. She'd forgotten how cold the world was when he wasn't holding her. But his words made her heart pound.
She looked up and saw pain flashing in Luka's eyes, pain and regret. As if he were speaking aloud, she could hear him cursing himself. They stood like that for a long moment.
With forced cheer in his voice, he said, "Are you all right, there? You look like a deer in the spotlights."
It worked, as he'd surely known it would, and she laughed softly. "Headlights. Deer in the headlights."
He sighed, shaking his head in mock confusion. "I still can't see that one. Why call them headlights when they're on a car?"
So he was going to let her go. He was going to make a joke and let her pull away. Abby waited to feel relief washing over her...and found emptiness instead. Some part of her rejoiced over what he'd said, rebelling against the wall of fear she clung to.
Out of caring for her, he was willing to forget what had happened - but she knew suddenly that she didn't want him to. "Luka, wait."
He broke off his tangent about headlights, and even in the half-dark room, she could see the hope playing across his face. She couldn't back down again, couldn't do that to him. Or to herself. "I don't know what to say. Or what I feel. But I do care about you, Luka. I think we have something, and I want it to work."
The emotion in her voice, hiding behind the trite words, was raw. Somehow she knew he could see through the weak front. And she caught the flash of a smile on his shadowed face before he was holding her again, closer than before if that was even possible. Could feel him smiling still through the beat of his heart in her ears.
"Me too, Abby."
