The time came for Bilbo's speech. While everyone else was listening intently, the three girls, who already knew what was going to happen, just sat there, listening slightly, and sipping ale. When they came back to reality, Bilbo was just uttering the most confusing line in the Tolkien world.
"…I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!" The aged Hobbit announced.
While everyone else looked around confused as to whether this was a compliment or not, Carolyn, Katie, and Caitlin, spat out the ale they were drinking. The three of them exploded into laughter. Carolyn was the drunkest and was pounding her fist on the table, hiccupping and laughing at the same time. The party fell silent and stared at them. This went on for a full five minutes; the three were too drunk to quit laughing.
"What's with them?" Sam whispered to Frodo.
"Must be a human thing…"
"I regret to announce," Bilbo continued after the three girl's laughter had calmed to a quiet snicker. "That this is the end. I'm going now." He stuck his hand in his pocket where the ring was kept, "I wish you all a very fond farewell…goodbye."
In an instant, Bilbo was gone. Frodo stood up and looked around frantically as the party exploded into alarmed whispers. Everyone got up and began searching, except of course, for our three young heroines.
"Katie," Caitlin hissed to her friend, "You and me will find Frodo and make sure he doesn't go to Bilbo's house too early."
"Got it!"
"Carolyn?" Caitlin asked turning to her blitzed amigo, "Find Sam and make sure he's under the window and is found by Gandalf after the discussion on Sauron."
Carolyn didn't respond, rather, she COULDN'T respond. She was passed-out drunk, facedown on the table.
"Aw, man!" Katie cried. "She's wasted!" She turned to address the reader of this pointless story, "Remember kids, our age limits for alcohol consumption are in place for a reason! Don't become another Carolyn!" The floating words, 'The more you know…' temporarily appeared over her head, but they quickly vanished.
Caitlin grabbed a glass of water and spilled the contents on Carolyn's head. She coughed and sputtered.
"Doc, I'm dying'!" She gasped. Caitlin felt pity for her; it was obvious Carolyn was in for the granddaddy of all hangovers, come morning.
"You're not dying!" Caitlin snapped shaking her friend. "Now go find Sam and make sure he's under the window!"
"I'm on the way!" She said. She staggered off, drunker than Jack Sparrow. But after a few minutes, the dizziness wore off and then the massive headache Caitlin had foreseen struck.
"GOOD GLORIOUS GOD!" Carolyn screamed clutching her forehead. "DAMNIT THAT HURTS!" Everyone ignored her vulgarity; they were too busy looking for Bilbo.
"They think I'm weird." She grumbled, "They live in a world that doesn't even have aspirin. Ah well, I'll take my rage out on Katie like I always do." She looked around, "Where'd you go, Sam?" She said to no one in particular. Suddenly someone slammed into her and fell down. "Watch where you're going, jerk-face!" She snapped. Then she stopped. Sam was sitting on the ground rubbing his head.
"Sorry Carolyn. I was just about to check down the road for any sign of Bilbo. I've never seen Mr. Frodo so worried before."
The color drained from Carolyn's face. "You mean you weren't planning on going to check outside Bilbo's house?"
"No." Sam said frowning slightly, "Why would I?"
A horrible thought crossed Carolyn's mind. If Sam didn't overhead Frodo and Gandalf's conversation, then Gandalf wouldn't make him join Frodo on his quest, and then he'd never become part of the fellowship, and then…here comes that headache again.
She grabbed Sam by the front of the shirt. "Sam! Please come with me to check Bilbo's house! There's something you HAVE to know!" She was trying to be polite, but in reality her anxiousness made her want to wring his neck.
"But why-"
Carolyn snapped. "LISTEN YOU! YOU'RE COMING WITH ME TO BAG'S-END AND YOU'RE GONNA HEAR FRODO AND GANDALF'S CONVERSATION! GOT IT??"
"Okay." Sam squeaked.
"Goody-goody-gumdrops." Carolyn said tugging on his arm. "Let's go."
Frodo, Katie, and Caitlin burst into Bilbo's home. Frodo looked around frantically for any sign of his uncle. Gandalf was sitting near the fireplace, smoking his pipe.
"He's gone, isn't he?" Frodo asked miserably. Gandalf seemed to be in deep thought, so he only gave a slight nod. Frodo sighed. "He spoke so often of leaving. I never took him seriously though…"
"He left you something." Gandalf said motioning towards a table. Frodo walked over to it and picked up a small envelope. He opened it and looked inside.
"Bilbo's ring?" He asked in shock as he lifted it out. It glittered in the faint firelight that emitted from the hearth. Katie and Caitlin shuddered as they realized that was the very same ring that had once rested on the finger of the dark lord Sauron. "Why would he leave me this?"
Gandalf was quiet for a moment. Then he spoke up. "Give me the ring for a moment, Frodo. I wish to test something."
Frodo handed him the ring. Gandalf then tossed it into the fireplace."WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Frodo cried. He reached for a poker to lift it out, but Gandalf blocked his arm. For a moment, he just stared at the ring that rested in the middle of the flames. Then he picked up the poker and lifted it out. The ring looked perfectly normal, like it hadn't even been burned.
"Take it Frodo," Gandalf said holding it out to him, "I think you'll find its quite cool."
He dropped it in Frodo's palm. The ring wasn't even warm. And was also quite heavy for such a small object.
"QUITE cool?!" Katie asked bouncing around on the tips of her toes. "That's the coolest thing I've ever seen! That's probably the coolest thing in existence! The greatest most awesome thing ever!"
Caitlin punched her in the head as Gandalf began the story of the one ring. (Of course you already know it, if not then what the hell are you doing reading a Lord of the Rings fanfic you fool?).
Meanwhile, just outside the window, Sam and Carolyn were listening intently to every word that was said inside.
"Wow," Sam whispered,
"I can't believe Sauron is after Frodo now."
"Not Frodo," Carolyn stated, "Anyone who has the ring. Now be quiet, he's
finished with the story and it's almost time for you to be-"
At that moment, Gandalf's arm reached outside and yanked Sam inside.
"...Caught." Carolyn finished.
"Eavesdropping were we??" Gandalf demanded of a terrified Sam.
"I wasn't dropping no eaves sir, honest!" Sam sputtered. "I mean, I heard a good deal about a ring, a dark lord, and something about the end of the world. But other than that..." He ran out of excuses. He frantically pointed towards the window he'd been pulled in from. "DON'T BLAME ME! SHE MADE ME COME!"
Carolyn hopped up on the windowsill. She wore a calm expression. "It's true." She said flatly.
"YOU were behind this?" Gandalf said sounding stunned, "You always struck me as the SANE one!"
"Well, sir," Carolyn said convincingly. All those acting lessons seemed to be paying off, "Me and my friends have the powers of foresight, and I did this, because it's important that Sam know the score, because it's CRUCIAL that he joins Frodo's quest."
At the mention of the word 'foresight', Caitlin grinned and nudged Katie. "I foresaw your death last night."
"Stop saying that."
"That's right!" Frodo cried, "They told me that they have foresight when we first met!"
"Oh really?" Gandalf said skeptically, "Then what number am I thinking of?"
"1."
"3."
"4." Carolyn, Caitlin, and Katie all said at once in that order. They froze. No way in hell would Gandalf believe them now. Their cover was blown.
"Amazing!" Gandalf cried in disbelief, "That was the exact number I was thinking of! 134!"
Carolyn wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.
"Yes…you must have the gift of foresight." Gandalf said nodding, "So Sam here must join Frodo eh? All right, he'll go. And you three will accompany him."
"Really?" Katie asked in amazement.
"I understand it may be a difficult journey for the three of you, but…"
"YAHOO!" The three teens cheered at once interrupting the wizard. They each leapt a foot off the ground.
"I'M GONNA SEE MORDOR!" Katie cheered.
"I'M GOING TO SEE THE CITY OF THE ELVES!" Caitlin cried.
"I'M GONNA MEET LEGOLAS!!!!!" Carolyn squealed.
"LEGOLAS!" Carolyn and Caitlin screamed at once.
"You guys are sick." Katie said glaring at them. Carolyn and Caitlin were huge fangirls of the sexiest elf of all time. Katie however, wasn't.
"…May God have mercy on our souls." Sam sighed.
"I will go speak to the leader of my order, Saurmon the White." Gandalf said getting up to leave, "And one word of advice Frodo, DON'T PUT THE RING ON!"
And then he walked out the door.
"That was NOT what he said in the movie." Katie pointed out.
"No shit Sherlock." Carolyn said rolling her eyes.
