Author's Note: Still not in the mood for angst. For you anti-slash people out there, shounen-ai is going to play a very small part in "AIF." Hints here and there, but most of the humor isn't focused on it. The minor romance is just a part of a story, not by any means the focus. Videl is in this chapter, and though I don't like her much, I promise I will endeavor to write her as she appears in the show, and not engage in mindless character bashing. This is the prequel to "Hercule, Savior of Earth," but it works as a stand-alone.

"Already? Wow, time sure flies by fast."

"Of course I'll be there! And Goten too. I think he's polished enough to be ready for this."

"I don't know. He doesn't think much of. . ."

"Good point. How about we get the group together to practice?"

"Tomorrow's good. See you then, Krillin!"

Ranked up there with avoiding group functions and death, nothing was more irritating than listening to half of a phone conversation. Of course, seeing as the only thing Goten did with any regularity was practice his katas, it could be deduced that it was something involving fighting. Most likely a tournament. Most likely a HUMAN tournament. Cell really didn't know why Goku persisted in his belief that there was anything salvageable in the dominant race of Earth. He could acknowledge that there were exceptional humans, anomalies that actually had some worth, but the majority of the species had the collective IQ of a very slow tapeworm.

"Hey, Ce. . ."

"No."

"But you didn't even. . ."

"Do you have any idea how much of a waste of time it would be to fight humans?"

Goku wasn't fazed by the accuracy of his friend's assessment of the situation. Bulma had the same strange ability to get an understanding of something from nothing. "The last time I entered a tournament was almost eighteen years ago. This isn't just any tournament. It's the twenty-sixth World Martial Arts Tournament."

"Seven."

"Huh?"

"The last time you entered a tournament was seven years ago, Goku. And besides that, I have been informed that you won the last time you battled in one of these things. Your ki has increased drastically since then. If you desire strong opponents, you have the most powerful warriors in the universe on speed dial. Not to mention we spar almost every day. What's the point?"

"Well, it's not just for the fighting. It's the crowds, the food, the centers for the fighters. The whole experience. You've never fought in one. . ."

"I organized one."

"Trust me, it's a whole 'nother enchilada when the fate of the world isn't at stake. They're a blast, even if you don't win."

"Forget it, Goku."

"But. . ."

"Goku, I have a very, VERY low tolerance for humans. Especially when there is large, obnoxious crowd of them." A pause.

"Gohan's going to enter."

As interesting as it was to have Goku as a friend, sometimes it really, really sucked to have someone who understood him so well.

SWITCH

Cell was sure he had mentioned earlier how irritating he found group functions. It was worse when the android realized he attended such events with enough regularity that he had A Role. Even more terrible, a clique had already been formed around his role, that of course being the Loner; to find group occasions irritating, but be constantly dragged to them anyway.

This rapidly became more obvious when they arrived at the sparring extravaganza (or whatever they were calling it, if they were calling it anything) the next day. Piccolo had taken the shade under the maple tree. Vegeta was scowling near the buffet. Everywhere else was a ton of people. (It should be pointed out that shortly after Cell's arrival, the buffet quickly became occupied by various hungry fighters, and Vegeta had been forced to abandon his position for the relative sanctity of the nearby lake edge.)

Someone with some sense had set up the gathering rather closer to Chi-chi's house and further away from Satan City, so there was little chance of a hapless Earthling coming upon their sparring session and being killed by a stray ki blast. It was a nice little area, more grass than trees, though this didn't stop Goten and Trunks from reenacting all of the Tarzan movies ever made. Peaceful, quiet, happy. Cell made a break for it as soon as Krillin distracted Goku enough that he loosened the death grip he had on the part of the android's arm right below the shoulder.

It only took the saiyan a few minutes to notice his friend was missing. He found Cell some distance away, on the edge of the lake opposite of the place Vegeta would be occupying in a few minutes. Goku, of course, was also part of a clique, though his particular grouping only existed as a supplement to Cell's. Goku's function was that of a Beseecher, whose sole purpose was to get the loner to interact with people. Other notable members of the beseecher group were Bulma, whose loner was Vegeta, and Gohan, whose loner was Piccolo.

That being said, Cell also mentally slotted Gohan into another role; annoying hybrid. He shared this undistinguished honor with Trunks, who had once attempted to dump a bucket of whipped cream on the android's head. If the tasteless confectionary had actually hit its target, it was unlikely the young demi-saiyan would have survived the experience. However, as a rule, Cell kept his guard up every waking moment. Paranoid? Perhaps, but his continual ki shield had saved him a shower and spared Trunks a very severe beating. As a rule, Cell avoided the annoying hybrids. Just being within ten feet of one of them made him want to break something.

"Cell, come back to the picnic before the dim sum gets cold."

"Goku, breakfast was two hours ago."

"So?"

"It isn't worth it to have to wade through your group of companions to get food when I'm not even hungry."

"I know you don't like most people, but we're going to start sparring in an hour or so and I figured you'd want to be at full strength."

"Goku, I am not sure you realize this, but my body doesn't require food to function. I am perfectly able to survive off of water."

"Bulma wants to talk to you about that new doohickey you two have been working on."

"If she wants to discuss the particle transmitter, I am hardly difficult to reach."

"But. . ."

"Goku, if you go off and socialize with your friends, I am hardly going to disappear into thin air." The saiyan didn't look very reassured, but before he could come up with another protest, both of them felt the arrival of Gohan, who for whatever reason was showing up late. And he wasn't alone. Cell tried briefly to identify the ki, but quickly gave up. "I thought Gohan was the last to arrive. Is someone else coming that I wasn't told about?"

Goku ticked off their parties on his fingers. "Yamcha showed right after we did. . . I think I saw Chi-chi and Taro's hovercar land before I came to find you, so. . . nope, that's it."

"Than who. . . nevermind. I suppose I will find out for myself." Cell, stretching out of the lotus position, missed Goku's relieved grin. Though Cell, for the most part, lacked Piccolo and Vegeta's temper when bothered too much, he was far more unlikely to listen when Goku tried to get him involved. The arrival of an unknown human, however it might disrupt their plans, was as good a way as any to get the introverted android to socialize.

SWITCH

Gohan actually hadn't intended to bring company. As the only person in Goku's little group to attend school, his schedule often wasn't taken into account when the saiyan's circle planned outings. It often led to the demi-saiyan missing out on them entirely, but because of a teacher meeting, Gohan for once would be able to see everyone, which actually hadn't been possible for him for a few months. It was times like this that Gohan was glad that he had quickly given up on the superhero idea. Though the crime rate in Satan City was a little high, he had already spent the majority of his life saving the Earth, and he felt he deserved to have a few years to himself.

The problem with being born into a group of already tight knit friends was that Gohan had no real reasons to seek out relationships in school. True, there was no one his age among the Z-fighters, but his fighting accomplishments and the bypass of puberty put him firmly in the adult half of the group. True, there were tensions between some members, and it was occasionally difficult to live with his mother, step-father, and half-sister, and see his father and brother only sporadically, but overall Gohan was happy with the arrangement. If he felt the urge to see others of his age, all he had to do was seek out Lime, a friend of his from the time of the Cell Games, and they would go hunting or fishing or swimming, and that was all he needed. Too bad his classmates didn't agree.

Gohan probably should have seen it coming, but despite his good nature Gohan had little in the way of social graces. It probably should have occurred to him that wearing a tight muscle shirt the first day of school wasn't the best way to remain inconspicuous, but the only other clothes he had that weren't dirty or torn were a few fighting gis. The teenage demi-saiyan was also unfortunate enough to end up in a class with a teacher who was thrilled enough to get a student with perfect scores that he announced it to the other students, and have to sit next to the most narcissist boy in school, who instantly took a dislike to Gohan because the demi-saiyan's muscles were more impressive than his own. Constantly getting challenged to weight-lifting contests was rapidly getting on Gohan's list for most irritating things in his life.

The girl sitting on the other side of him, Erasa, was even worse. Despite having blown off his mother's concerns about easy girls, Gohan was quickly coming to understand where she was coming from. She wouldn't let go of his arm, wouldn't stop giggling, and wouldn't stop talking about how amazing he was. As gratifying as it was to his ego (Lime rarely took notice, and when she did it was just to get him to carry everything), the continual flattery soon grated on Gohan's nerves. The demi-saiyan quickly wised up, and the next day wore a loose long-sleeved turtleneck. It was really too bad that he had already attracted the attention of all the females in school, teachers included, every single one of the athletic departments from football to swimming, and the jealousy of every male who wasn't homosexual, and a few that were.

Begging off social engagements soon proved to be a trial. Skipping out on an 'awesome' party to study only works once. Telling them he didn't go because he didn't drink just got everyone whispering about the purity of athletes (lies, all of them, as the majority of the jocks were drunk through the weekend). Refusing to play sports got him called everything from weak-willed to unpatriotic. Saying no to 'study group' invitations from girls just got them to bother him even more, as each one assumed that he was just selective and hadn't found the right girl yet.

As frustrating as all of this was, what really spooked Gohan was the continual stare of one Videl Satan. She wasn't one of the gigglers. She wasn't one of the girls who latched onto his arm at the slightest opportunity. Despite following in her father's footsteps, she also wasn't one of those who glared in jealousy at his rather impressive muscles. She just. . . stared. It was always something of a relief when she left on one of her numerous missions to assist the police in the latest armed robbery. Gohan couldn't think straight when he felt her eyes drilling into the back of his head.

It was one day between third and fourth period that Gohan finally found out her reason for her interest in him. "Your father is Son Goku, isn't he?" Despite not naturally being clumsy, Gohan couldn't help fumbling his books as he quickly shoved them into his locker.

"Wha. . . what makes you think that?"

"You share a last name, and you look like the pictures of him that they have in old newspaper clippings in the library."

"Um. . ."

"So is he?" Gohan gave up on the notion of lying. He wasn't good enough at it to evade Videl's piercing stare.

"Yeah, Son Goku's my dad." He couldn't help shifting under her gaze. "Does it matter?"

"It sure explains a lot. You refuse to do any school sports because you have to go home and train, don't you?"

"Hey." The demi-saiyan couldn't help but feel a little offended. "I wasn't lying when I said I had to study."

"I didn't say you were. Just that if you participated in after-school activities, you wouldn't have time to do both." What little irritation Gohan felt for Videl slipped from his grasp.

"Oh. I guess you're right."

"Are you going to participate in the World Martial Arts Tournament? I didn't see you in the Juniors four years ago, but you qualify for the adults this year."

"Why do you care?"

"The fighters in the adult division four years ago were pathetic. When I enter, the only real competition is going to be my dad. I want it tougher than that. You're a fighter, and your dad used to be World Champion. Even if he's retired, he trained you, so you have to be pretty good."

"Two points; someone else is my mentor. Dad helped with my training a little, but if you expect to get an idea of how to counter my moves by studying old videos of my dad, you're going to be disappointed. Second, my dad's not retired. He still trains, he just doesn't fight professionally anymore."

"That's what the rest of the world calls retired Gohan." The well of anger again began to fill.

"I'm not going to enter a stupid tournament just because you want some competition, Videl. Thank you, but I have better things to do."

"Do you really want me to resort to blackmail?"

"What could you possibly. . ."

"I've seen you flying, and I know it isn't a trick like my day claimed it was during the Cell Games." Gohan's throat closed up. Videl continued. "People flew in the old World Martial Arts Tournaments. I don't know if it's a secret discipline or something and that's why no one does it anymore, but I want you to train me to fly. And I want you to enter. That's all. You do that, and I'll never tell anyone." Gohan forced air out of his lungs.

"I. . . can I get back to you on that?"

"Call me at home. I'll tell the butler to expect a Gohan. But call by the end of the week. I don't want you to try and wimp out." She walked away. "See you at lunch, Gohan." The demi-saiyan stood, petrified. ((Oh man, I am in such deep. . .)) The bell rang.

"Damn it, I'm late to class!" His mother did not appreciate the detention Gohan received for a tardy and swearing in the halls.

Things proceeded from there. Gohan told his mother. She told Bulma. Bulma told Eighteen, who told Krillin. And Krillin told his dad. Before Gohan knew it, every single member of the Z-fighters, minus Yamcha, who was just going to watch, and Tien and Chao-tzu, who were training in the mountains, was entering the World Martial Arts Tournament. Videl was going to get more competition than she expected.

Despite the teacher conference, Gohan knew he still was going to be a little late to the gathering, but by flying fast and avoiding the routes usually taken by planes, he might. . .

"Hey, Gohan." . . .have really, really bad timing.

"Um, hey, Videl."

"Gohan, the tournament is in less than a month. When are you going to teach me to fly."

"In a bit, okay? I have somewhere I need to be."

"Gohan, I doubt flying is that easy. You're trying to flake on me. Teach me now."

"Videl, I can't be late for this."

"What, you can blow me off but you can't blow off your other friends?" Interesting, how Videl counted herself among his friends. Well, in comparison to everyone else in the school, Gohan guessed she came the closest.

"I didn't mean. . ."

"Look, just take me with you. I can meet your sparring buddies, and you can teach me to fly. Then I'll be out of your hair until the tournament."

"Can't we talk about this tomorrow?"

"Gohan, tomorrow starts your leave of absence from school to train for the tournament, and your phone number is unlisted." Gohan couldn't help but feel a little bad. True, she was blackmailing him a little, but it wasn't like she was trying to force him to do anything humiliating, and she looked a little hurt that he was trying so bad to get out of training her. He actually had forgotten that he wasn't going to be at school for a while, but it sure looked bad. And it wasn't like Videl would be rude to anyone. She was actually pretty polite, even if she was a little pushy.

"I guess you're right. Um, flying you might be kind of uncomfortable. Can we take your hovercar?" It was almost worth it to earn the eternal enmity of all the human hating Z-fighters to see Videl's face light up. Almost.

((Man, Vegeta's going to kill me.)) A sigh. ((Well, probably not. Cell's faster. He'll get to me first.))