"I want you to know, that I truly appreciate your cooperation and understanding. I know this can't possibly be easy for you." Nul, Jonathan and Martha sat in a small lounge area not far for Jor's room. Jonathan and Martha sat close on the plush love seat while Nul rested in a deep reclining chair on the opposite end of the room. Lois and Clark had gone into a separate room so that they could be alone for a little while and talk.
Martha knew that her son loved his wife and that she loved his desperately in return but she couldn't help but be nervous. With Lois being pregnant her nerves were on edge already, and based on Clark's demeanor in his father's room earlier, he wasn't in any better shape. The motherly side of her brain (which was nearly all of it) worried that the stress of the situation might be too intense and perhaps they were fighting. But beyond that, another side of her brain was ticking out distress signals.
She stole a quick glance at her husband, who to an outsider seemed calm but to her seasoned eyes was in a state of upheaval. Logically, they both knew that Jor-El being alive was a wonderful thing. Not only for Clark but for them as well. It gave the whole family a chance to place all the pieces together. A chance for Clark to find out all the secret questions that had haunted him since childhood. Emotionally, on the other hand she was rather upset. As far as she was concerned Clark's whole damned Kryptonian family could come back and she would still be his mother. But now Jonathan was facing the fact that Clark's biological father was alive, and Martha knew that he was afraid of being replaced. How could he not? How could he not worry that Clark may look at him differently, that somehow he wouldn't matter anymore?
She gave her husbands hand a reassuring squeeze and then addressed the man before her. She had plenty of questions and now seemed as good of a time as any to ask. "I just want my son to be happy." She replied before switching gears. "Can I ask you a few things, please?" Nul smiled softly. He'd been expecting this. That was the whole purpose of suggesting they come here, so that the family could ask the questions that were no doubt, multiplying by the second.
"Of course you may." He answered simply.
"What was he like? Clark's father? I've often wondered over the years what kind of person could be responsible for giving life to such a beautiful boy.." Martha blinked back tears and Nul found himself shifting positions in his chair uncomfortably.
"I understand. Actually, Jor-El was much like Clark's wife."
"Really?" This was asked by Jonathan. He had been quiet since the incident in the waiting room but apparently his curiosity had gotten the better of him.
"Oh yes. He was confident and poised. Sometimes he was stubborn to the point of idiocy. But once you made your way passed that I'm-in-charge attitude he's the most loving person I've ever met. The first person to help you out when you're in trouble, always ready with a kind word, just a good guy. Everyone who worked with him was fiercely loyal and trusted him completely. If for no other reason then the fact that he'd never given anyone a reason not to."
"If you don't mind my asking, if they all loved and trusted him so much, why did they not believe him when he told them that Krypton was going to explode?" Nul nodded slightly. It was yet another question he had anticipated, and yet it was the one he dreaded the most.
"I said the people who worked WITH him trusted him. But for every man who worked for him, there were hundreds who worked against him. You see, Jor understood that the planet was dying, not only cosmically, but emotionally as well. As in most places, the government controlled everything, and the common man hardly had any representation. Jor-El saw that his people were suffering and was actively working towards social change. The people loved him for it, but the government wasn't the least bit amused. So when Jor tried to warn the people that Krypton was dying the government chose not to believe him. And well, you saw what happened."
"That's terrible." Jonathan sighed. "The poor man."
"I watched him anguish for weeks as to what to do. No matter how much we reworked the numbers the loss was going to be catastrophic. He sent away the people who would listen to reason, and the others.." Nul's voice trailed off and he shifted once again in his chair.
"But if he sent away the people who would listen, then where is Clark's mother?" Jonathan asked softly.
"Lara refused to go." Nul stated.
"But why?" this came from Martha. Nul sighed deeply and paused to collect his thoughts.
"Jor felt that it was his duty to stay with his people no matter the cost. He wanted Lara to take baby Kal and find a safe place but Lara refused to leave him for dead. I wish I could explain farther but I'm afraid I was never privy to the details of that conversation. All I know is that Lara stayed with her husband and Ree and I were recruited to build Kal's space ship."
A soft tap sent the rooms attention towards the door. Nul invited the visitor to enter and a moment later Lois' small body entered the room. Her pink cheeks and bloodshot eyes made it obvious that she had been crying.
"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Martha asked, her voice etched in concern. All her previous worries were charging back to the front of her thoughts. She'd hoped that that stress of the situation would not cause the kids to start fighting. Now it looked like her wish hadn't come true.
"I'm fine." Lois breathed uneasily. "I'm just, I'm so worried about Clark. After we left Jor-El's room he lost all color and got dizzy. He actually threw up in the bathroom. I've never seen him like this."
"Where is Clark?" Jonathan asked.
"After he was done being sick we bumped into that nurse who interrupted us earlier. She said she was done with administering the medications and we were free to go back and sit with him if we wanted. Clark went in there. I think he has a lot of things on his mind, and it'll do him some good." Everybody nodded but nobody replied. In that room a silent pact was formed. Clark needed all their strength love and loyalty, and they promised to give it to him.
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"I told you I'd be back." Clark let the door to his father's hospital room click shut slowly. At first he hovered near the doorway, afraid for some reason to step in any farther. If he got closer? If he sat down next to his natural father and studied him close, touched his face or hand then this whole crazy situation was real. Then his father really was alive, all the chaos and confusion mulling around in his brain was for good reason. If he was near the doorway, on the other hand he could always make a break for it, turn around and run away. Go back to Kansas with Lois and his folks and pretend this day never happened.
But did he really want to? His whole childhood he'd had so many questions, and although his mom and dad had done their best to answer them, they were just as clueless as he was. How could he turn his back on this opportunity to learn so much? And how could he deny this man who sacrificed so much to insure his happiness the right to have his only son next to his bedside when was dying.
Dying. The word hit Clark like a Kryptonite bullet to the chest. His father was dying and he knew it and that reality was too much to bear. He refused to let him die. Not now, not with so much left unsaid. With a soft sigh and a shrug of the shoulders Clark swallowed hard and crossed the room. He pulled an uncomfortable folding chair next to his father's beside and began to speak. He hadn't planned it, but somehow all his hopes and fears spilled out of his head and flew out of his mouth.
"You know, yesterday I thought my life was perfect, I thought there was nothing I else in the world I needed. I was wrong. I needed this, I needed you more then anything. I think I always have, but as I grew older I suppressed that longing." Clark paused to collect his thoughts. He swallow hard, desperately trying to get passed the cold lump in his throat. "I, I'm so scared right now. I'm scared of you living, as crazy as that sounds. I'm afraid of facing you, of learning whether or not I've lived up to your expectations. I'm afraid that you're going to try to take my daddies place, and I don't want to lose him." Clark stopped fighting and left the tears flow freely. "I, I'm scared that you're going to be so different from everyone I've ever met that I'm going to hate you somehow. But worst of all, I'm afraid that you're going to die. I'm so afraid that you're heart is going to stop dead and that I just spent the last 15 minutes in the bathroom being sick for no reason. Please, please don't die. I decided it would be better to face you and figure out where we stand then lose that opportunity." Clark rested his head on his father's chest and wept openly for what seemed like hours but was probably more like minutes.
Then he felt it. A soft sensation but a sensation no doubt. He recognized that sensation; he'd felt it every night for the last six months as he drifted to sleep while holding his wife. His hair was moving. Fingers. Someone was running their fingers through his hair. He snapped his head up quick enough to catch the movement of one of his father's hands. Slowly his eyes traced a path to his father's face and gasped sharply when he realized that his eyes were open. How much had he heard? Who cares! It's a miracle. Clark cried even harder and allowed himself to get lost in the deep blue pools that were his father's eyes.
"Kal?" Jor-El whispered.
"It's okay, it's me." Clark whispered in return.
"Kal?" Clark watched his horror as his father's eyes began to flutter and finally closed. At that same moment the machine that monitored his heart beat began screaming in an urgent alarm. Flatline. His heart had stopped. Clark sprinted to the door and screamed into the hallway for help. Five nurses rushed to the sick man and worked on him while Clark continued to scream. The loud, desperate cries attracted the attention of Lois, Nul and his parents who came running to his side, pulling him into a tight embrace and trying to no avail to calm him down.
"WAKE HIM UP!! WAKE HIM UP!!" Clark screamed to the rushing nurses.
"Clark, you need to calm down, this isn't helping." Lois cooed as lovingly as she could.
"He was just awake! He was awake and he said my name! You have to believe me!"
"We do believe you, Clark, but right now we need to leave and let the doctors do there job." With a little coaxing they managed to pull Clark into the hallway right as Dr. Klein came running down the hall.
"Dr. Klein! Save him! Save my father!" And with that Clark collapsed on the floor in a heap of hysterical shrieks and sobbing. "No, oh god no! NO! PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!" Was all the family could decipher as they tried in vain to comfort the Man of Steel.
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"Shush, shush, everything's going to be fine, just you wait and see. He'll be fine he's strong like you." In the corner of the waiting area Lois was cradling Clark and slowly rocking him back and forth. She held his upper body close and dutifully wiped away the tears that still trickled from him eyes and down his cheeks.
"He can't die." Clark muttered bitterly, "he just can't. It's not fair." The last word was hardly born before Clark lost his voice in a mournful sob.
"He's not going to die, he wouldn't leave you, not like this." Clark was silent. Lois glanced up at her mother and father in law, they were both crying softly. She knew that their hearts were breaking, as was her own. At this point in time whether or not Jor-El's presence was a welcome surprise or not was irrelevant. Jor-El had to live. It was as simple as that. If he died, Clark would never forgive himself, and then they'd have a real mess on their hands. It was Jonathan who broke the silence.
"Son, you said he woke up and spoke to you?" Martha shot her husband a stern look that warned him that this wasn't the appropriate time to conjure those memories up. Not after all the work it took to pull Clark out of the hallway and get him to stop screaming. Imagine a two year old trying to push a bulldozer up a steep cliff when it's out of control. It was pretty much the same situation.
"It's true! It's true!" Clark's voice was high and frightened and when it appeared that he was going to lose control again Lois rocked him a little faster and whispered soothing words in his ears. "I was talking to him, telling him how scared I was, but that I wanted him to wake up and I rested my head on his chest and then I felt fingers in my hair and I looked up and he was looking at me and he said my name and I told him everything was gonna be okay and then the machine started screaming and I started screaming! It's true! I swear!" Clark spoke so fast that half his explanation was lost.
"You see, baby, that's proof. It's proof that he's trying to heal, and he's coming back to you, he just needs a little more time." Lois cooed.
"Lois is right, Clark. He needs time to get well." Jonathan agreed, nodding his head and plastering an exaggerated smile on his face.
"He's Kryptonian! The sun should have healed him by now!" Clark muttered.
"But Clark he's been in space for thirty years without the benefit of the yellow sun. You can't just expect him to heal right away, honey, he needs time." Martha chimed in.
"It's not gonna take time. His heart stopped, he's dead." The lack of emotion in Clark's words was startling. He was beyond hysteria now. He was numb.
"Actually, we've got it started again. It was a close call, but Jor's a stubborn old goat and again he's resting peacefully." Dr. Klein stated as he entered the room.
"Lois, I think I'd like to get some fresh air." Clark whispered.
"Want some company?"
"Please." And with that Lois and Clark got off the floor and exited the room, leaving the elder Kent's and a very upset Nul=Zay alone to contemplate the future.
