For a short while the first chapter was a stand alone fic, but suddenly I felt the urge to make it as part of a collection. Each chapter shares the common bond that the songs used aren't dealing with typical romantic feelings, and most are Weird Al songs. Why is this any different from other authors' song-fics? Well, from most of what I've read, they have a storyline. If it's a collection, there is no individual story for each song, the fic revolves solely around the song. Am I condemning those stories? Absolutely not! I just want to alert the readers to expect something different from me (hopefully). Now if I'm wrong, and many others wrote like this long before I did, please correct me. I don't like being wrong. Anywho, I don't own J.K. Rowling (she is property of God, the Creator), nor do I mean ANY offense! I just thought this would be funny for her to sing.
A Break from Work"Goood morning, all. It looks like it will be a beautiful day with temperatures in the...," The alarm blared, before it was quickly shut off by none other than, Joanne Kathleen Rowling, herself. After laying in bed for a while, she figured that she should get up and face the day. Luckily with the fifth book out, she wasn't as tense like a few months prior to today. But even important icons such as herself know that work is vital. Eventually, she settled behind her work space with her cup of coffee, and words began pouring out from her. "Hmm, how should Dudley phrase his response." and the like. She wrote for hours and hours, completely immersing herself in her own "magic." Occasionally she would break to refill her coffee cup, answer fan mail, using the 'loo,'(A/N: That sounds so dumb coming from an American like me.) and heating then eating some frozen pizza. She could have easily fixed herself something more lavish but, wanted something that didn't take much effort, so she could focus on her sixth installment of the Harry Potter series.
The house was quiet, because her husband had been kind enough to take the children to the show that night. Although she could tolerate noise when writing, silence suited her just fine. Around seven that evening, she completed a draft of a chapter she'd been working diligently on for a while. Her mind and muscles called out for a small break, before continuing on. She got out of her chair, and stretched her arms. Strolling over to the stereo system, she looked for something to listen to that would put her at ease. Her fingers stopped over a seemingly out of place "Weird Al" Yankovic CD.
She thought it was odd that he would find his way into the collection. It was odd, yes, but she wasn't ashamed at the least. For a fleeting moment, she wondered if he would ever consider touring Europe. The particular CD she held in her hand was his third studio album Dare to be Stupid. Taking a trip down memory lane, she reminisced about buying the CD, back in the early 80's. To think that eventually, she would live such a lavish now, was mind- boggling. Where had all the years gone? Although not a hardcore fan, she remembered buying his CD, because a friend played her the wacky "Buckingham Blues" off his first album. With the explosion of Madonna, she had to buy Dare to be Stupid just for the song "Like a Surgeon." As she read through the track list, one particular song caught her attention.
"That song is me," she chuckled. Then after a moment she mused that it really wasn't her, but she felt that others might compare her to this song. Placing the CD into the player and adjusting the track number, she 'prepared' herself for the song. She pantomimed dancing with a top hat and cane while she sang.
I eat filet
mignon seven times a day
My bathtub's filled with Perrier
What can I say
This is the life
I buy a dozen cars when I'm in the mood
I hire somebody to chew my food
I'm an upwardly mobile dude
This is the life
They say that money corrupts you
But I can't really tell
I got the whole world at my feet
And I think it's pretty swell
I got [fans] lined up outside my door
They've been waitin' there since the week before
Who could ask for more
This is the life
She danced around more, then played the air guitar when the electric guitar
sounded. Soon she was back to her original dancing.
You're dead for
a real long time
You just can't prevent it
So if money can't buy happiness
I guess I'll have to rent it
Yeah, every day I make the front page news
No time to pay my dues
I got a million pairs of shoes
This is the life
She tap danced during the spoon solo, acted like a DJ when the scribble
scratching solo came on, then continued on with her original dance with the
"hat" and "cane"
I got a solid gold Cadillac
I make a fortune while I sleep
You can tell I'm a living legend
Not some ordinary creep
No way, I'm the boss, the big cheese
Yeah, I got this town on its knobby little knees
And I can do just what I please
This is the life
That's right, I'm the king, number one
I buy monogrammed Kleenex by the ton
I pay the bills, I call the shots
I grease the palms, I buy the yachts
One thing I can guarantee
The best things in life, they sure ain't free
It's such a thrill just to be me
This is the life
Waah, this is the life
Finishing up with a dance step, she walked over and shut off the player. Yes, this break is exactly what she needed to relax her, and stimulate her to write more. Aloud, she said, "Perhaps I could have Al be the next Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. I'll call the book Harry Potter and the Significance of Twenty-Seven Poodles..."
Two hundred miles away, the boy called Harry Potter woke with a start.
"I have got to stop having these stupid dreams," Harry grumbled, before crawling back under the bed sheets.
Hooray! The second installment is complete. I already have plans for more. The next song will most likely be the shortest, but it shouldn't disappoint you. If you flame me about how I depict Mrs. Rowling's lifestyle, I won't accepted it unless you are A.) the author herself. B.) a close family member, friend, and/or relative. If you are a fan and you criticizing me on this issue, I would question your sanity, and wonder if you've ever tried this little thing called life. Other than that, feel free to write whatever. (Just try and keep it clean.) Also, I don't own the song "This is the Life," it belongs to "Weird Al" Yankovic, and the original line was I got women lined up outside my door. "Buckingham Blues" can be found on his first album "Weird Al" Yankovic. One more vital question: Are any of the characters bald, according to the book description? Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed it.
