Two days later Jack pulled up in front of Sam's house. He took a deep breath before getting out of his truck and started down the walkway. He paused again when he was standing in front of her door. Finally he forced his hand to push the doorbell. He waited as patiently as he could, he was in the midst of ringing the doorbell again when the door opened.
"What are you doing here?" was the harsh response.
Jack let out a deep breath, "Hey Cassie." His relationship with Cassie had greatly deteriorated over the past year. She blamed him for pushing Sam away from them. Cassie had been the only one Sam had stayed in touch with while she was gone. But Cassie never told them where she was, but she did provide regular updates to Daniel. "Uh, is Sam here?"
"She told me she saw you the other night…"
"Look Cassie, I know I screwed up a year ago… I've been beating myself up about it for the past year… But I just want to talk to her," he pleaded with her.
"The same way you just wanted to talk to her a year ago?" she accused him.
Her words stung him deeply. "Cass, please…" He was showing all his emotions on his face by now. "I won't hurt her."
Cassie studied Jack for a long time as she debated whether his pleas were genuine. Her voice and demeanor softened only slightly, "She's happy, you know?"
Jack closed his eyes momentarily. When he opened them his eyes were glistening with tears, "That's good… I just want her to be happy… But I need to apologize. Please Cassie, where is she?"
Cassandra relented as she saw that he really did love her. She didn't know if he loved her enough to let her go, but they both needed closure. She hoped she wasn't making a mistake. "She went for a walk in the park, she was heading for the fountain… She went with him…" she quietly added.
"Thank you!" he told her as he turned and ran across the street in search of Sam.
Ten minutes later he found her sitting on a bench in front of the fountain. She was sitting next to the same man from the other night. He walked up behind her and called out, "Sam."
Sam slowly looked over her shoulder, but she didn't respond. Initially she had wanted to say 'sir', but she stopped herself. She knew this moment would come.
Jack came around and stood in front of her, "Sam, can I talk to you… alone?"
Sam studied Jack's face before looking across the fountain to come to a decision. She then turned to her companion, "Tengo que hablar con el… Te veo en la casa."
The man sitting next to Sam looked up at Jack and then back to Sam. He stood up and leaned down to place a kiss on her cheek, "Claro, lo que tu quieres. Ciao." He nodded at Jack as he stepped around him and returned to Sam's house.
"Can I sit down?"
"No, let's go for a walk," she told him as she got up and started walking off.
Jack quietly walked beside her. They continued in silence for five minutes before Sam spoke, "So…?"
"Where'd you go?"
"Spain."
"Ahh… I didn't think you spoke Spanish," he lightly added hoping to elicit a smile from Sam.
It didn't work, "I do now."
"Yeah, that's great…" He then looked around the park again, "You look good. Uh, I mean you look happy."
Sam took a sideways glance at her former CO before looking forward again, "I am."
"That's good, I'm glad," he told her. He only hoped that it didn't sound too forced.
"Are you?" she asked him contemptuously as she glared at him. His actions from the year before still haunted her.
Jack didn't answer her, he wanted to tell her he genuinely was, but he couldn't, not yet. He was still shocked that he was now walking beside her. They continued in silence for another few minutes before Jack asked her a question, he had to show her that he was at least trying, "What's his name?"
"Carlos Guerrero."
"Sam, look… About last year…"
"What about it?" she asked him coldly.
"I'm sorry about what I did. I-"
"Are you?" she interjected.
"Yes," he told her honestly. "Please, let me finish first."
She held back her tongue as she sat down at a bench. She looked across the small lake they were sitting in front of, "Okay."
"Thank you… I really am sorry about what I did last year. I had no right to do what I did to you, I ruined your life. I know that now. You were right last year, I was being selfish. All I cared about was not losing you. I didn't know if I could offer you anything, and I knew Pete could… and I was scared to lose you. I've known you for eight years and somewhere in that time I started to have feelings for you. And I hid behind the regulations because I was scared of losing everything good in my life-SG-1, the SGC, our friends. I was afraid to risk anything, so I played it safe. Then when Pete told me he was going to ask you to marry him, I… I was more scared of losing you completely. I didn't care about anything else then, not the SGC, not the regulations, nothing. I had to tell you how I felt. I wasn't thinking then… I didn't think about how you would react, about what you had to lose.
"You had a chance at being happy with Pete and I now know I took that away from you. I don't want you to not be happy. I know that now. While you were gone, I missed you so much. And that was all my doing. I had only myself to blame. I know you're with Carlos, and I have to accept that, because I don't want to lose you again. I want you to be happy, I really do. And I won't lie to you, I wish I was the one that could make you happy. But I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you in my life at all." He paused and waited for any type of response from Sam.
"We were never just friends," she finally told him as she looked into his eyes. She could see his remorse and sincerity. "Do you really mean that?"
"Yes. I know we were never just friends, but I want to now. We have nothing else between us, I'm not your commanding officer anymore. Can we just start over?"
Sam looked away. "I don't know… So what happens now?"
TBC
"What are you doing here?" was the harsh response.
Jack let out a deep breath, "Hey Cassie." His relationship with Cassie had greatly deteriorated over the past year. She blamed him for pushing Sam away from them. Cassie had been the only one Sam had stayed in touch with while she was gone. But Cassie never told them where she was, but she did provide regular updates to Daniel. "Uh, is Sam here?"
"She told me she saw you the other night…"
"Look Cassie, I know I screwed up a year ago… I've been beating myself up about it for the past year… But I just want to talk to her," he pleaded with her.
"The same way you just wanted to talk to her a year ago?" she accused him.
Her words stung him deeply. "Cass, please…" He was showing all his emotions on his face by now. "I won't hurt her."
Cassie studied Jack for a long time as she debated whether his pleas were genuine. Her voice and demeanor softened only slightly, "She's happy, you know?"
Jack closed his eyes momentarily. When he opened them his eyes were glistening with tears, "That's good… I just want her to be happy… But I need to apologize. Please Cassie, where is she?"
Cassandra relented as she saw that he really did love her. She didn't know if he loved her enough to let her go, but they both needed closure. She hoped she wasn't making a mistake. "She went for a walk in the park, she was heading for the fountain… She went with him…" she quietly added.
"Thank you!" he told her as he turned and ran across the street in search of Sam.
Ten minutes later he found her sitting on a bench in front of the fountain. She was sitting next to the same man from the other night. He walked up behind her and called out, "Sam."
Sam slowly looked over her shoulder, but she didn't respond. Initially she had wanted to say 'sir', but she stopped herself. She knew this moment would come.
Jack came around and stood in front of her, "Sam, can I talk to you… alone?"
Sam studied Jack's face before looking across the fountain to come to a decision. She then turned to her companion, "Tengo que hablar con el… Te veo en la casa."
The man sitting next to Sam looked up at Jack and then back to Sam. He stood up and leaned down to place a kiss on her cheek, "Claro, lo que tu quieres. Ciao." He nodded at Jack as he stepped around him and returned to Sam's house.
"Can I sit down?"
"No, let's go for a walk," she told him as she got up and started walking off.
Jack quietly walked beside her. They continued in silence for five minutes before Sam spoke, "So…?"
"Where'd you go?"
"Spain."
"Ahh… I didn't think you spoke Spanish," he lightly added hoping to elicit a smile from Sam.
It didn't work, "I do now."
"Yeah, that's great…" He then looked around the park again, "You look good. Uh, I mean you look happy."
Sam took a sideways glance at her former CO before looking forward again, "I am."
"That's good, I'm glad," he told her. He only hoped that it didn't sound too forced.
"Are you?" she asked him contemptuously as she glared at him. His actions from the year before still haunted her.
Jack didn't answer her, he wanted to tell her he genuinely was, but he couldn't, not yet. He was still shocked that he was now walking beside her. They continued in silence for another few minutes before Jack asked her a question, he had to show her that he was at least trying, "What's his name?"
"Carlos Guerrero."
"Sam, look… About last year…"
"What about it?" she asked him coldly.
"I'm sorry about what I did. I-"
"Are you?" she interjected.
"Yes," he told her honestly. "Please, let me finish first."
She held back her tongue as she sat down at a bench. She looked across the small lake they were sitting in front of, "Okay."
"Thank you… I really am sorry about what I did last year. I had no right to do what I did to you, I ruined your life. I know that now. You were right last year, I was being selfish. All I cared about was not losing you. I didn't know if I could offer you anything, and I knew Pete could… and I was scared to lose you. I've known you for eight years and somewhere in that time I started to have feelings for you. And I hid behind the regulations because I was scared of losing everything good in my life-SG-1, the SGC, our friends. I was afraid to risk anything, so I played it safe. Then when Pete told me he was going to ask you to marry him, I… I was more scared of losing you completely. I didn't care about anything else then, not the SGC, not the regulations, nothing. I had to tell you how I felt. I wasn't thinking then… I didn't think about how you would react, about what you had to lose.
"You had a chance at being happy with Pete and I now know I took that away from you. I don't want you to not be happy. I know that now. While you were gone, I missed you so much. And that was all my doing. I had only myself to blame. I know you're with Carlos, and I have to accept that, because I don't want to lose you again. I want you to be happy, I really do. And I won't lie to you, I wish I was the one that could make you happy. But I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you in my life at all." He paused and waited for any type of response from Sam.
"We were never just friends," she finally told him as she looked into his eyes. She could see his remorse and sincerity. "Do you really mean that?"
"Yes. I know we were never just friends, but I want to now. We have nothing else between us, I'm not your commanding officer anymore. Can we just start over?"
Sam looked away. "I don't know… So what happens now?"
TBC
