The Trouble with Potions

Summary: Potion brewing with Professor Snape goes awry.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my twisted sense of humor.

A/N- This is in response to my own challenge posted on GROWL.

"So you really think there's a potion in here to help Ron and Hermione get together?" Ginny Weasley asked her former Potions Master.

"I hope so," Severus Snape replied, "I've had to endure seven years of them at Hogwarts, and I'm sick of it."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Well, I've had to live with it just as long at home."

Snape smiled deviously and pulled the book down from the shelf.

"Oh my God! It's so big!" Ginny cried, looking at the large tome he'd pulled.

"Of course it's big!" Snape snapped. "It's a third edition of Every Potion You Could Possibly Imagine and a Few More. I knew Black's family would have a copy here in the house."

The two opened the book and quickly scanned the dusty pages of the index for the potion Snape couldn't remember the name of.

Suddenly, Snape pointed a long, pale finger at a potion on the page. "There! That's the one," he said, "the For the Love of Merlin, Please Admit Your True Feelings Potion. The drinker will be forced to voice his emotions to his one true love within minutes of swallowing." He flipped to the page of the book that gave the instructions. He scrutinized the list of ingredients and smiled to the young woman next to him. "It seems we have everything here to make this. Shall we begin?"

The pair set to work quietly in the basement of Grimmauld Place. Snape had fashioned a crude Potions lab down there. He gave Ginny the materials and ingredients for their private project, while he went to work on Remus Lupin's Wolfsbane Potion. The full moon was tomorrow night, and he wanted to get a jump on brewing the potion for his least favorite werewolf.

Ginny glanced quickly at her former professor. Who knew they would have become somewhat friendly? She'd excelled in Potions at school, and Snape had taken it upon himself to take her under his tutelage after she'd graduated two years ago. They worked well together, as long as she didn't push his buttons.

Ginny knew he was horribly moody, but he was also extremely patient, especially with his best pupil.

They, along with Lupin, Ron and Hermione, had spent most of the last month holed up in Grimmauld Place working on various spells, hexes, potions and enchantments to benefit the war effort. And everyone was sick to death of Ron's and Hermione's constant hot-cold relationship, thus Snape's and Ginny's potion plan.

Snape watched Ginny out of the corner of his eye. She was carefully and strategically brewing the potion to perfection. He stifled a smile and patted himself on the back for taking her on as an apprentice. She was even better at Potions than Granger! He chuckled to himself and went back to brewing that damn werewolf's concoction.

"Sir, I think it's ready," Ginny said some time later. "How exactly are we going to get them to drink this?"

Snape didn't look at her, but he answered her calmly and evenly. "'We' aren't. You are."

"Surely you jest," she replied, shocked.

"No, Miss Weasley," he retorted, "I assure you I don't." He poured the Wolfsbane Potion into a goblet. "They think we've been down here working on a Silencing Potion, which is harmless. Just ask them to test it. They won't know the difference."

Ginny giggled. "If I ever doubted why you were Head of Slytherin House, I was wrong." To her surprise, Snape smiled back.

"We'd better hurry. Besides, I've got to give Lupin his potion," he said bitterly.

Ginny rolled her eyes at him. She turned her attention back to her potion. "I need something to put it in," she said, searching for a vial.

Snape passed two goblets to her. "Use these, it's all I've got down here."

She poured her steaming potion into the two goblets, and carefully followed Snape up the stairs to the kitchen. They set the goblets on the table and called for the other three.

Ron and Remus entered the kitchen. "Where's Granger?" Snape asked sharply.

Ron shrugged. "Went to Diagon Alley to see Fred and George," he said. "Do you suppose she's shagging one of them?" he asked.

"Now, Ron," Remus patronized, "you don't really think that." He patted the younger man's shoulder.

"Ginny, that reminds me," Remus continued, "I have a surprise for you. I picked this up in Hogsmeade yesterday." He reached into his robe pocket and pulled out a bar of Honeydukes best chocolate.

"Thank you, Remus!" she exclaimed, taking the treat from him.

"Can we get on with this?" Snape asked impatiently.

Remus looked at him with an amused expression before turning to Ginny and smiling. She smiled back warmly, blushing slightly as his eyes danced upon looking into hers.

"Lupin, here's your potion. Weasley, your sister and I need to test this Silencing Potion. We'd hoped Granger would as well, but seeing as how she's skipped out..." Snape's said before Ginny interrupted.

"She can test it later," she said quickly. "Go ahead, Ron."

Ron and Remus picked up two goblets from the table and downed the contents in one gulp. Remus immediately choked and sputtered.

"Whatever you just gave me wasn't the Wolfsbane Potion!" he cried.

Snape and Ginny looked at each other with wide eyes. Ron looked at the two of them with a confused expression.

"You silly girl!" Snape exclaimed. "Why didn't you stop him?"

"Now, Severus," Remus began, "it's an honest mistake. All the goblets look similar."

Ron's face suddenly took on a pink flush. "I've got to go," he said, rushing out of the room.

"But where are you going?" Ginny called after him.

"To find Hermione," he responded. "To tell her I love her!"

Snape threw his hands up in the air. "Thank Merlin! Finally!" He turned back to Remus. "Lupin, there may be some...side effects to this potion."

"Which potion was it exactly?" Remus asked.

Ginny cleared her throat and whispered, "It was the For the Love of Merlin, Please Admit Your True Feelings Potion."

Remus stared at the two of them with wide eyes, but his face quickly took on the same blush as Ron's. He turned to Ginny and took her hand.

Snape's stomach dropped. "Lupin, what are you doing?" But the other man ignored him.

"Ginny," he said in a soft voice, "have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" Ginny stared at him, at a loss for words. "You're so lovely, Ginerva, so lovely and so bright and so wonderful." He brought one hand up to caress her cheek. "I love you, Ginny," he said before he captured her lips with his in a gentle kiss.

Snape grabbed the back of the man's robes and yanked him off the young woman, who was standing in shock.

"Lupin!" Snape yelled. "Get a hold of yourself, man! You don't love her!"

Remus turned to Snape with a lovesick smile on his face. "Yes, I do, Severus. I love her and want to marry her and have lots and lots of babies!" He turned back to kiss Ginny again.

Snape grabbed Remus' shoulders and forced him back around. Snape reeled back and slapped Remus hard across the face.

"I beg you," Snape snarled, "control yourself!"

"Let go of him, Professor," Ginny said. "It will be alright. I promise."

Reluctantly, Snape unhanded Remus, who turned back towards Ginny. He wrapped his arms around her and tried to pull her close. But Ginny kept some distance between them.

"Er, Remus?" she questioned. "You love me? Are you sure you're not just feeling randy before the full moon?" He shook his head.

"No, Ginny, I adore you completely," he murmured.

"For how long?" she asked.

He shrugged. "A while now, I guess. For the past year, I believe."

"Well, this is certainly a surprise," Snape said, "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

He shrugged again. "I was afraid you'd reject me, Ginny. But I do love you."

"Remus, I'm very flattered, but please don't be hurt when I say that I've never thought of you that way," Ginny explained. His face and his heart sank, but Ginny continued. "However, I would like to try, if you promise to take things slow and be patient with me."

"Ginny, I promise I'll be patient and go slow," Remus purred.

Snape grumbled and mumbled behind them, something about silly young girls and hairy beasts. Remus and Ginny ignored him.

Just as Remus was leaning down to kiss Ginny again, Ron and Hermione strolled in, hand in hand.

"Remus, what the bloody hell are you doing with my sister?" Ron bellowed. "Get off her!"

"No!" yelled Remus. "I love her!"

Everyone stood in shock as Ron fell to the floor in a dead faint.

Snape rolled his eyes. "I guess I'd better go brew some "Pepper-up Potion."

"No!" cried Ginny. "I think we've brewed enough potions for today."

"Quite right, Miss Weasley," Snape mused. "Lupin, don't forget the Wolfsbane Potion, and that is it, I assure you."

Everyone left the room. Snape, true to form, glided from the room, his robes billowing behind him. Remus held the Potion in one hand and put his other arm around Ginny's waist and nuzzled her neck as she led him from the room, blushing the entire way.

Hermione stayed with Ron, holding his hand, begging for him to wake up.