Chapter 5
"I love her so much," Angel said, "I want to lose myself in her arms. I know it will cost me my soul, and sometimes I just don't care," he stood up and walked around the table. "She's my soul-mate; I can't stay here and put her life in danger any longer."
"That put you in quite a predicament. Have you told Buffy any of this?" Mr. Giles asked.
"No, I was hoping you could tell her for me." Angel walked over to the stair railing.
Giles turned in his chair to face Angel, "I can't imagine Buffy will be pleased that you haven't discussed this with her."
"Buffy wouldn't understand!" Angel shouted. He spun around and walked toward Giles, "She still thinks... Buffy!"
Buffy was standing by the library doors, "She thinks what?"
"What are you doing here, Buffy?" Angel asked her.
"I left my purse here this afternoon. But you haven't answered my question. What do I still think? That you still love me? Well, I guess you were right about one thing, I don't understand!"
Angel strode over to Buffy, "This isn't a fairy tale, Buffy. When I kiss you, you don't wake up and live happily-ever-after."
"I know that, I'm not stupid! That doesn't mean that we can't... that we have to..." Buffy slid down the librarian's desk to the floor, and began to cry. "Other couples don't have fairy tale relationship, but they don't always break-up."
"Break-up?" Angel squatted down so that he was at eye level with Buffy, "Is that what you think we're doing?"
"You were going to leave! Without telling me!" Buffy began to sob, "You don't call that breaking up?"
Angel held his hand up; so that Buffy could see that he still wore his Claddagh ring with the heart pointing towards him. "We're not breaking up. I was leaving, but only until... I needed to go visit a friend in the Congo, just until... until I feel that it's safe for me to come back. I couldn't tell you because I... I was worried that if I saw you, saw how you, well how you do this, I wouldn't be able to leave. And I have to leave Buffy."
"When?" Buffy looked pleadingly at him.
"Tonight. I was going to go home and pack when I left here."
Buffy sniffed, wiped her eyes, and stood up, "Do you want me to help you pack?" Another tear trickled down her check.
Angel stood up also, "No," he brushed the tear from Buffy's face, "I think it's best if we say good-bye here." He kissed Buffy's cheek and headed to the door.
"Angel!" Buffy called right before he left. Angel turned around, and Buffy ran the few steps to him.
"Tell me you love me, Angel," She whispered when she reached him. "Before you leave, tell me you love me."
Angel looked down at Buffy. She looked so small, so fragile, and it broke his heart to know the pain he was causing her. "I loved you the moment I saw you," he whispered. "I loved you then; I love you now; I'll love you forever." He kissed her, gently at first, but with a growing passion, both aware that they may not see each other for a long time. When they had stopped kissing, she had started to cry again. "No more tears," Angel kissed away the three tears that had fallen onto Buffy's face. "I'll come back." Buffy smiled at him, and with that, Angel turned and left.
"Giles!" Buffy called.
Giles emerged from his office, where he had went to give the couple some privacy, "Yes?"
"Do you know where Willow is?" Buffy asked.
"I would assume she is at home; which is where you should be."
"Can I use your phone to call her?"
Giles took off his glassed and began to clean them, "Buffy, it is late. Willow is most likely asleep already."
"I'll make it quick. It's really important," Buffy picked up the phone from behind the librarian's desk.
"If you must," Giles put his glasses back on and went back into his office.
"Thanks," Buffy called after him. She picked up the phone and dialed Willow's number. "It's time," she said when Willow picked up.
"Now?" Willow's voice came over the phone, it sounds like she just woke up.
"Angel's..." Buffy started to choke up, "leaving."
"Oh, Buffy."
"He said it's just for awhile," Buffy said more to reassure herself than her friend.
"I'll be right over," there was the sound of drawers opening.
"I'm at the library," Buffy told her, "could you just bring the stuff here?"
"I'll be there in a few minutes," then the line went dead.
Buffy hung up the receiver. She went over to the table and pushed it against the wall. This ritual would require a lot of space, and Buffy wanted everything to be ready when Willow arrived.
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Angel pulled a suitcase from the closet is the hallway and drug it into his room. Putting it on the bed, he turned around and threw open his wardrobe doors. He took five pair of neatly folded black slacks, two pairs of exercise pants, and his only pair of blue jeans and put them neatly into the suitcase. All of his satin boxers went in next, followed by his button down shirts, which he left on the hangers.
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Willow came into the library carrying a duffel bag. She dropped it on the ground and pulled out a white candle, which she tossed to Buffy. "We have to put these in a pentagon on the floor, and then put the Orb of Thesula in the middle."
"Let's get started." Buffy put the candle decisively on the floor.
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When his clothes were all packed, including the purple shirt Buffy had given him for his birthday and the boxer shorts with hearts that she gave him for their anniversary, he looked around his room to see if there was anything else that needed to be packed.
He didn't own much else. The only thing that really mattered he couldn't take with him.
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"Pentagram, check," Buffy stepped back to survey her work.
"Good. Now we light them in order, while saying this spell, and burning sage. You want the lighter or the sage?"
"Sage me!" Buffy said. Willow slapped the sage into Buffy's outstretched hand, like the scalpel on ER.
"What are you girls doing?" Giles came out of his office
Buffy was the first of the two to speak, "Willow, found a spell to bind Angel's soul."
"It was nothing," Willow said modestly, "I just used the computer system Miss Calendar had set up."
"Can I see it?" Willow handed the computer print out she had been reading off of to Giles, "Hmm, the Ritual of Binding. It looks like you two will be needing some help."
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Angel took his sketch book and pencils and put them into his suitcase. The first dozen pages or so were filled with sketches he'd made of Buffy. He also took the picture Buffy had had taken of herself at the beach.
Angel had once commented that he had been jealous of Xander because he got to see Buffy in the sun light. She had jokingly told him that she didn't look that good in direct light. He thought she looked good in any light.
He shut his suitcase and went downstairs. Wondering why he and Buffy had never had their picture taken together.
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Giles lit the final candle. "Hear us great goddess," the three of them intoned together. The Orb of Thesula, which had been glowing with increasing intensity since they started, now threw a blinding light into the room. That light then narrowed to a single beam that shot straight out of the sun-roof and disappeared.
"Does that mean she heard us?" Buffy asked.
"Maybe you should go to Angel's and see," Willow told her.
"But that would mean... what if it didn't work?" It took all of Buffy's strength to say these words.
"You'll call us if something goes wrong. Willow and I will be ready to do the restoration spell if need be. But you'll never know if you don't go," Giles told her.
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Angel's last stop was to the refrigerator. He had gotten a special cooler to use to carry his blood. Regardless of what he told Buffy, he didn't expect to be back in the near future, and he didn't want the blood going to waste.
He reached to get the last packet of blood from next to the remainder of Buffy's six pack of Diet Coke. As his hand closed around it, he was hit with something from behind that knocked him to his knees.
The pain was excruciating. It was like his insides were burning their way out. It was worse than any pain he's experienced, worse than the two times he'd been given his soul, worse than the time he lost it, worse than dying, even worse than the hundred years he'd spent in hell. No longer able to take the pain, Angel let his vamp face come through; he was always stronger that way. But that still didn't help him contain the scream that finally broke forth; what came out was part scream and part growl.
Then just as suddenly as it started, the pain vanished. Angel just knelt there on the floor, unwilling to move, in case that brought the pain back. It took the doorbell ringing to finally get him up off the floor. He grabbed his suitcase and his cooler and headed to the door. When he opened the front door Buffy was standing on the other side.
"Can I come in? There's something we need to talk about." Buffy looked very nervous.
"I couldn't stop you, even if I wanted to."
"Do you?" Buffy asked, "Want to stop me from coming in, that is."
"I have a boat to catch."
"I'll talk quick, this is important.
"Come in." Angel couldn't think what would cause Buffy to come here; she had seemed to understand his reasons for leaving. He carefully avoided touching Buffy as they walked thru the hallway to the living room. "Now, what is this about?"
"Willow and I found a spell," Buffy looked unsure of herself, "That was suppose to... bind your soul."
"That's what that was. That was you?" Angel looked stunned.
"Oh God," Buffy gasped, "did we, did it hurt you?" She put her hand on the side of Angel's face.
"Yes," he knew it wouldn't do any good to lie to Buffy, "but if this means what I think it does, it'll be worth it."
Buffy slipped her hands around Angel's waist, "It should." She kissed him softly on the lips. "Do you think we can make it to the bedroom?" Buffy whispered in Angel's ear.
He smiled down at her, "That depends on how quickly we can get up the stairs." He scooped Buffy up into his arms and headed toward the stairs.
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