Sirius's Tale

Moony

JK Rowling's characters. All of them. Except for the ones you don't recognize.

Chapter 1

I am Sirius Black. And this story, are my memoirs – the story of my pitiful life. I hope one day, these writings will make it back to earth, and my conscience shall be at peace. But for now, they shall remain in the spirit world.

All the other tales you have heard about me are not true. Only this story, that I myself have written, is. I am not a mass murderer. I did not betray Lily and James Potter. But we must start at the beginning.

I was born into the "noble house of Black". But it was not noble. Nor was it grand and wonderful. It was a horrible life. A place of utter spite, my home was, unless you were like all the other Blacks. I hated everything. The ugly, dark house, with the elves' heads hanging on the wall, the house-elf that muttered about me and worshipped my mother, my evil, spiteful mother, my stupid git of a brother, Regulus, and all those stupid cousins. Out of all my family, I only had some feeling for Andromeda, my favorite cousin. All the other Blacks were not my family.

It was so that I was lucky to be accepted to Hogwarts. And I went. I hoped to defy my family, as Andromeda had. I was not going to be a Slytherin as all the rest of the family, except Andromeda, who went to Ravenclaw, had. My heart longed to be a Gryffindor. I still remember the Sorting Hat's words to this day.

"Ahh... a Black are you? Oh... an ambition, and slyness. Yet some troublemaking and rule breaking traits too... hateful of your family, are you? Yet you still are loyal to the ones you do love... Yes, Slytherin would be good to you..."

I had protested against this.

"No? You would like to prove your family you are different? Ah... very well then... GRYFFINDOR!"

What a sigh of relief that was! And how wonderful my years at Hogwarts were too! I had wonderful friends... James, Remus, and Peter. I am not angry at the Peter who went to Hogwarts. I still consider that Peter my friend. The new Peter, who betrayed Lily and James, is not the Peter I know, is not the Peter that was my friend. But I loved those years. The Golden Years, I called them. Oh what troublemakers we were! It was the best days of my life.

And then we graduated. James went off to marry his longtime crush, Lily Evans. I remember their wedding day clearly. I, the best man, felt happy for both of them, as they stared into each others' eyes with tender love. It was a happy time, and I was happy for them.

Then Lily gave birth to my godson, Harry Potter. I knew, from the minute I held him, that I would be the best godfather I could be to my best friend's son. Harry would like me – I hoped. If anything happened to James, I knew that I would be the one to care for Harry. At the time, I didn't think anything would have happened. Alas – if only this thought was true!

I remember that day, even more than the sorting and the wedding. Oh the fear... the horror...

I woke up, sweating, my teeth chattering, my limbs convulsed, and shaking. I wondered what had happened to cause such fear, and my instincts were screaming to me that something was wrong. I had heard these stories many times, about how your instincts woke you up and you found out that your house was flooded, or on fire, or something. I got up slowly and tried to sniff out a burning smell – no such. I walked out of my room into the other rooms of the apartment. Everything was still and quiet.

"Who's there?" I called out, holding out my wand.

Silence. I searched around a bit, and there was nothing. So what was wrong?

False alarm. I thought, and got ready to head back to bed. But something in my head clicked.

What about Lily and James?

With a pang of fear, I grabbed my cloak, not bothering to change out of my pajamas and ran outside. I revved up my flying motorcycle.

Come on... come on...

As I swung my leg over it, I forced myself to calm down.

It's ok Sirius. You're overreacting. James'll probably be asleep and then you'll wake him up and he'll laugh at you for overreacting. Take some deep breaths now...

But something was still wrong.

HURRY! HURRY!

My heart shouted.

Without a second thought of convincing myself to stop overreacting, I sped off into the night air.

Let them be ok. Please let them be ok.

I prayed.

When I finally reach Godrics Hollow, I let out a sigh of relief, as I saw a small glow of light coming from down below. That meant James was up. I thought I might just go down for a cup of coffee or hot chocolate.

But as I landed, a singeing smell filled my nose.

Oh my god. No.

Were my thoughts. I ran and ran. The remainders of Godrics Hollow were around me, burning.

It's ok, Sirius. It's ok. James and Lily and Harry probably made it just fine. They have a knack for doing that.

Finally, I saw a figure sprawled on the ground. Dark messy hair... It was James! I dashed over, praying, hoping he was fine.

"James! James!" I shouted.

I bent over him. His open hazel eyes were lifeless and pierced my heart.

"James...? If you're alive... please answer me!"

Silence.

"JAMES! This isn't funny! Get up and say you're ok!"

But he didn't. I shook him. He didn't do anything. I pressed my fingers to his wrist.

No pulse.

But you're not good at feeling for pulses anyway. I told myself in hope he was somehow alive.

I put my palm on his heart. No beating. He wasn't breathing either.

My best friend was dead.

The words hit me with full force and power. I doubled over.

This wasn't fair!

"No James! Don't be dead!!"

But I knew it was true. Tears sprung into my eyes. I dashed away from him to find Lily. Maybe she was alive. If she was, I had to comfort her.

"Lily! Lily!" I shouted into the night.

No familiar voice greeted me.

But ahead, was another figure on the ground.

Oh god... no... let Lily be alive. Please let Lily be alive. If not James... let Lily be alive!

Her red hair covered her face, and her eyes were closed as if she was asleep.

"Lily...?" I said tentatively.

I shook her.

She didn't wake.

"Lily?"

No answer.

I did the same thing I had done with James. I placed a palm on her heart. There was no beating. And there was neither breathing with her either.

Tears began pouring out of my eyes.

"I'm so sorry! I should've been there! I should've... I should've helped! I should've come sooner! I'm so sorry James! Lily!"

I began sobbing uncontrollably. This was my fault. All my fault. I wept bitter tears. But suddenly I heard a wailing. A small cry.

I had forgotten about Harry!

I quickly ran toward the sound, my hopes high.

And there he was. Laying on the ground, kicking and screaming and bawling. I bent over and picked him up.

"There... there... it's ok baby Harry... it's ok. It's Sirius remember? Sirius Black? Daddy's best friend? Your godfather? Do you remember me?"

At the sound of a familiar voice, and at the feeling of warmth, his cries softened, and he sucked his thumb. His emerald green eyes stared right into mine. I knew it was up to me now. I had to protect him. For James. For Lily.

"Come on now, little tyke. You're coming home with me. And you'll grow up with me. And you'll go to Hogwarts and be a normal kid. Is that ok with you?"

Suddenly, I heard a crunching sound. I jumped up in fright.

"Who's there?"

Using my free arm, I grabbed my wand, it pointed directly where the sound came from.

"Who's there?" I repeated, "Lumos!"

I saw a big giant.

"Hullo Mr. Black," a low voice said.

It was Hagrid! Rubeus Hagrid! It was such a relief to hear a familiar voice.

"Hagrid! Do you... do you... do you..." I tried to say it. But I couldn't. I felt my throat clam up and my nose stuff.

"Dumbledore tol' me all about how..."

He couldn't bear to say it either. We looked at each other, the grief passing by. Lily and James were respected in the Order.

"It's all my fault," I said shakily, "I shouldn't have... I shouldn't have... if I didn't... they wouldn't be..."

And the tears crawled out again. I wiped them away, in embarrassment.

"It's all right Mr. Black. Ye couldn't have stopped 'im. Not You-know-who."

"But I should've died along with them! I deserve to die along with them!"

"Easy there Mr. Black. You done all you could to protect them."

I looked at him, and finally spoke again.

"What have you come for?"

"Dumbledore wants me ter take young Harry to his aunt's."

It shocked me.

"His – his aunt's? But James doesn't have – "

"Lily's sister, Petunia Dursley."

"Her? Her?! Harry go to HER? She hates magic! She – she'll kill him!"

I gritted my teeth. Did Dumbledore think I could not care for Harry?

"I don't want him to go there either. Ter tell ye the truth, I'd rather have 'im go to you, but Dumbledore said Harry's gonna be protected by some ancient magic. So You-Know-Who can't get him."

"What kind of ancient magic?"

"Dunno. He didn't tell me much. But I need to take him there."

I looked at the baby boy, now sleeping in my arms. I didn't want to give him. But I knew he would be safer.

"It's not like ye won't see him again, Sirius."

And I knew it was true. So I gave him a good-bye and put him into Hagrid's care. I looked around, wondering what I could do to help, and spotted my motorcycle.

"Hagrid – "

He turned around.

"Yes?"

"Take... take my motorcycle."

"Yer motorcycle? But ye love that thing!"

"I know... but it's all I can give. You can get there faster."

He nodded.

"Thank you Sirius."

He nodded to me and sped off into the sky.

"Good luck..." I whispered, "I'll see you again, Harry."

Little did I know, it would be thirteen years, until I got to see my best friend's son again.