Chapter Four - The Whole Truth
I walked home form Carter's house. All the houses I passed looked bright and cheerful with music coming out and people wishing their friends a happy new year.
I shivered when I thought about the way Carter had looked at me when he asked me to leave. I didn't understand it; it was like an alien had taken over his body. We had been friends for three months and he had never let on he wanted more and then tonight he blurts out he's in love with me? Was it just me or was that crazy?
It took me an hour to get home in the snow. I was freezing when I finally crawled into bed at one A.M. Jesse wasn't home yet and Dad was already in bed.
I could only hope that the whole thing with Carter was a dream and everything would be back to normal in the morning.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
School started again a couple of days later. I went to class and went through the motions as before but without Carter I felt lonely. Lana had Nathan and Jesse had Kristen but who did I have?
I tried calling Carter a few times but he was never home and if he got my messages he chose to ignore them. Eventually I gave up. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong.
Dad started wanting me to spend more and more time with him. I assumed it was because he was lonely. He hadn't dated since Mom dies and that was sixteen years ago.
One night near the end of January the phone rang. Dad answered it and I saw his smile fade.
"I know," he said, "I'm going to. in one week. send the car. she'll be ready," He hung up the phone and turned to me. He didn't look happy.
"Lucky, there's something I need to tell you," he said sitting down on the couch. He turned off the T.V.
"Jesse, I want you to hear this too," he gestured for Jesse to come over to us.
"What's wrong Dad?" I asked, worried. What could possibly put that defeated look on his face. He had always been a cheerful upbeat person. It took a lot to put him in a bad mood.
"Lucky, I have lied to you," he started.
I stared at him in anticipation, "About what?" I asked.
"About your mother," he said.
My eyes widened. He never talked about my mother. What was bringing this on? Who had called earlier? My head was full of questions that I didn't know how to ask.
"I'm going to tell you a story so just hear me out before you say anything," he said.
I nodded, gulping.
"My wife, Jennifer, had Jesse when we had only been married for one short year. We loved him so much. Our mutual love for made us even closer than before. But when Jesse was one, Jennifer was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was only twenty-five when she died. I was left to raise a son on my own," he said sadly.
Wait, wasn't something missing here? I thought, what about me?
"We were on our own for a whole year before Lucky came along. Jesse and I were shopping for new clothes in Wal-mart when I heard a baby crying. Well technically, Jesse heard the crying. We found a little girl abandoned in the bathrooms," he stopped and looked at me. I didn't understand where this was going.
"Despite my being a single parents already I decided to adopt her. The police found her mother who was only fifteen years old. She signed the infant over to me on the condition that she'd be able to visit if she wanted. She hasn't yet," he said.
My heart was pounding against my chest. What was my father trying to say? Was I the little girl he found in the bathroom?
"Lucky, you are the baby I found," Dad finally said.
My heart skipped a beat.
"What?" Jesse whispered. The look on his face communicated exactly how I felt. Totally and utterly in shock.
"This is a joke right?" I asked hopefully. He had to be my father. If I was the baby he found then my whole life had been a lie. My mother didn't even want me. She didn't leave me in death. She left me because she was too young and selfish to take care of me.
"This is not a joke, I wish it was," Dad said, looking defeated.
"My mother isn't dead?" I asked.
"No, she is very much a live," he said, "and you are going to live with her for awhile,"
This was all too much at once, "What are you talking about?" I stammered.
"That weekend conference I had in October, I was actually going to visit your mother to work out some details," he said.
"For how long?" Jesse asked.
"For as long as Maria wants," Dad answered. He seemed drained and disappointed.
"Wait, don't I get a say in this?" I asked, "What if I don't want to be shipped off to a mother who abandoned me?"
"She didn't abandon you-" Dad began.
"What would you call leaving me all alone in a Walmart bathroom then?" I almost yelled.
Dad didn't answer.
This couldn't be happening. I stormed out of the living room and slammed my bedroom door. My mother had abandoned me sixteen years ago and now all of a sudden had the right to take me back. I thought I wanted to know my mother but now that I did I wished I could forget about her. What kind of person would do this? Did she actually think I would just drop my life and come to live with her as her loving daughter as if nothing was wrong. If she did, she was sadly mistaken. I wasn't going to take this lying down, she was in for a fight.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
I didn't remember lying down but I must have because I woke up at two A.M.
Everything that that had happened came rushing back in waves. Scott Sinclair, the man I had called my father all my life had found me abandoned in a public washroom. Jesse wasn't my brother. Jennifer, the mother I had wanted to know so badly wasn't even related to me.
I knew Dad would force me to go love with my real mother, Maria.
I thought for a moment, staring up at the ceiling. I had gained a mother but lost a father and a brother.
Everything had changed. How I wished I could go back in time to the days when the three of us were happy and I didn't even think about my mother.
I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning. I couldn't stop thinking about the changes that would occur. I still had so many questions. Why did Maria abandon me? Why did she want me to live with her now of all times? Who was my real father? I couldn't imagine calling anyone else Dad than the man I had lived with my whole life.
It occurred to me that Dad was probably talking to my mother on the phone right before he told me the horrible truth. I wondered if he would have told me if he hadn't been forced to.
The next day I found it even harder than usual to get out of bed.
When I managed to get myself dressed I found Dad in the kitchen making bacon and eggs.
"Good morning honey," he said trying to look cheerful, "eggs?"
"I'm not really hungry Dad," I told him.
His face fell in disappointment.
Jesse came out of his room looking just as exhausted as I felt. He took a few pieces of bacon and toast for Dad's sake and left the apartment. I started to follow him but Dad stopped me.
"We can talk about this more tonight okay?" he said. I shrugged and closed the door on my way out.
In the car on the way to school Jesse didn't say much and I didn't either. It was hard to think we weren't brother and sister; we had always been so close.
"Lucky," he said before I got out of the car, "we only have a week until you have to leave, lets not waste it," he handed me a piece of toast and I knew that it was his way of telling me not to blame Dad.
I smiled, "Okay," I said.
At lunch, Lana and I went into the drama hall to be alone. I managed to detach her form Nathan's arm for one period to tell her what happened.
"You're leaving next Friday?" she asked.
"Yeah," I said. My eyes started to fill up with tears. I was going to miss her so much.
"What will I do without you?" she sobbed. Tears were already running down her face.
"Don't go to anymore keggers!" I told her. She laughed through her tears, "I won't" she said. She threw her arms around me in the tightest hug possible. There was so much I'd be leaving behind, and I didn't even know where I was going yet.
"Lucky, there's one more thing you have to do before you go," she said, "talk to Carter,"
"I don't know," I said. Lana had never been jealous of our friendship. She had been infatuated with Carter for a few days but she had moved on to Nathan before that fateful party was even over. She wasn't the jealous type anyway.
"He wants to be with you, I know, I've talked to him," she said.
"You have?" I asked in surprise.
"Of course," she said.
I guess it wouldn't hurt to just speak to him. He had become such a good friend. I couldn't throw all that away and not say goodbye.
But, as I had learned, things aren't always meant to be.
I walked home form Carter's house. All the houses I passed looked bright and cheerful with music coming out and people wishing their friends a happy new year.
I shivered when I thought about the way Carter had looked at me when he asked me to leave. I didn't understand it; it was like an alien had taken over his body. We had been friends for three months and he had never let on he wanted more and then tonight he blurts out he's in love with me? Was it just me or was that crazy?
It took me an hour to get home in the snow. I was freezing when I finally crawled into bed at one A.M. Jesse wasn't home yet and Dad was already in bed.
I could only hope that the whole thing with Carter was a dream and everything would be back to normal in the morning.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
School started again a couple of days later. I went to class and went through the motions as before but without Carter I felt lonely. Lana had Nathan and Jesse had Kristen but who did I have?
I tried calling Carter a few times but he was never home and if he got my messages he chose to ignore them. Eventually I gave up. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong.
Dad started wanting me to spend more and more time with him. I assumed it was because he was lonely. He hadn't dated since Mom dies and that was sixteen years ago.
One night near the end of January the phone rang. Dad answered it and I saw his smile fade.
"I know," he said, "I'm going to. in one week. send the car. she'll be ready," He hung up the phone and turned to me. He didn't look happy.
"Lucky, there's something I need to tell you," he said sitting down on the couch. He turned off the T.V.
"Jesse, I want you to hear this too," he gestured for Jesse to come over to us.
"What's wrong Dad?" I asked, worried. What could possibly put that defeated look on his face. He had always been a cheerful upbeat person. It took a lot to put him in a bad mood.
"Lucky, I have lied to you," he started.
I stared at him in anticipation, "About what?" I asked.
"About your mother," he said.
My eyes widened. He never talked about my mother. What was bringing this on? Who had called earlier? My head was full of questions that I didn't know how to ask.
"I'm going to tell you a story so just hear me out before you say anything," he said.
I nodded, gulping.
"My wife, Jennifer, had Jesse when we had only been married for one short year. We loved him so much. Our mutual love for made us even closer than before. But when Jesse was one, Jennifer was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was only twenty-five when she died. I was left to raise a son on my own," he said sadly.
Wait, wasn't something missing here? I thought, what about me?
"We were on our own for a whole year before Lucky came along. Jesse and I were shopping for new clothes in Wal-mart when I heard a baby crying. Well technically, Jesse heard the crying. We found a little girl abandoned in the bathrooms," he stopped and looked at me. I didn't understand where this was going.
"Despite my being a single parents already I decided to adopt her. The police found her mother who was only fifteen years old. She signed the infant over to me on the condition that she'd be able to visit if she wanted. She hasn't yet," he said.
My heart was pounding against my chest. What was my father trying to say? Was I the little girl he found in the bathroom?
"Lucky, you are the baby I found," Dad finally said.
My heart skipped a beat.
"What?" Jesse whispered. The look on his face communicated exactly how I felt. Totally and utterly in shock.
"This is a joke right?" I asked hopefully. He had to be my father. If I was the baby he found then my whole life had been a lie. My mother didn't even want me. She didn't leave me in death. She left me because she was too young and selfish to take care of me.
"This is not a joke, I wish it was," Dad said, looking defeated.
"My mother isn't dead?" I asked.
"No, she is very much a live," he said, "and you are going to live with her for awhile,"
This was all too much at once, "What are you talking about?" I stammered.
"That weekend conference I had in October, I was actually going to visit your mother to work out some details," he said.
"For how long?" Jesse asked.
"For as long as Maria wants," Dad answered. He seemed drained and disappointed.
"Wait, don't I get a say in this?" I asked, "What if I don't want to be shipped off to a mother who abandoned me?"
"She didn't abandon you-" Dad began.
"What would you call leaving me all alone in a Walmart bathroom then?" I almost yelled.
Dad didn't answer.
This couldn't be happening. I stormed out of the living room and slammed my bedroom door. My mother had abandoned me sixteen years ago and now all of a sudden had the right to take me back. I thought I wanted to know my mother but now that I did I wished I could forget about her. What kind of person would do this? Did she actually think I would just drop my life and come to live with her as her loving daughter as if nothing was wrong. If she did, she was sadly mistaken. I wasn't going to take this lying down, she was in for a fight.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
I didn't remember lying down but I must have because I woke up at two A.M.
Everything that that had happened came rushing back in waves. Scott Sinclair, the man I had called my father all my life had found me abandoned in a public washroom. Jesse wasn't my brother. Jennifer, the mother I had wanted to know so badly wasn't even related to me.
I knew Dad would force me to go love with my real mother, Maria.
I thought for a moment, staring up at the ceiling. I had gained a mother but lost a father and a brother.
Everything had changed. How I wished I could go back in time to the days when the three of us were happy and I didn't even think about my mother.
I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning. I couldn't stop thinking about the changes that would occur. I still had so many questions. Why did Maria abandon me? Why did she want me to live with her now of all times? Who was my real father? I couldn't imagine calling anyone else Dad than the man I had lived with my whole life.
It occurred to me that Dad was probably talking to my mother on the phone right before he told me the horrible truth. I wondered if he would have told me if he hadn't been forced to.
The next day I found it even harder than usual to get out of bed.
When I managed to get myself dressed I found Dad in the kitchen making bacon and eggs.
"Good morning honey," he said trying to look cheerful, "eggs?"
"I'm not really hungry Dad," I told him.
His face fell in disappointment.
Jesse came out of his room looking just as exhausted as I felt. He took a few pieces of bacon and toast for Dad's sake and left the apartment. I started to follow him but Dad stopped me.
"We can talk about this more tonight okay?" he said. I shrugged and closed the door on my way out.
In the car on the way to school Jesse didn't say much and I didn't either. It was hard to think we weren't brother and sister; we had always been so close.
"Lucky," he said before I got out of the car, "we only have a week until you have to leave, lets not waste it," he handed me a piece of toast and I knew that it was his way of telling me not to blame Dad.
I smiled, "Okay," I said.
At lunch, Lana and I went into the drama hall to be alone. I managed to detach her form Nathan's arm for one period to tell her what happened.
"You're leaving next Friday?" she asked.
"Yeah," I said. My eyes started to fill up with tears. I was going to miss her so much.
"What will I do without you?" she sobbed. Tears were already running down her face.
"Don't go to anymore keggers!" I told her. She laughed through her tears, "I won't" she said. She threw her arms around me in the tightest hug possible. There was so much I'd be leaving behind, and I didn't even know where I was going yet.
"Lucky, there's one more thing you have to do before you go," she said, "talk to Carter,"
"I don't know," I said. Lana had never been jealous of our friendship. She had been infatuated with Carter for a few days but she had moved on to Nathan before that fateful party was even over. She wasn't the jealous type anyway.
"He wants to be with you, I know, I've talked to him," she said.
"You have?" I asked in surprise.
"Of course," she said.
I guess it wouldn't hurt to just speak to him. He had become such a good friend. I couldn't throw all that away and not say goodbye.
But, as I had learned, things aren't always meant to be.
