Chapter Eleven – No More Lies
The funeral was as nice as could be expected. It wasn't very big. Some of Dad's colleagues came and his friends showed up to. Jess called his parents but they never got back to us.
Kristen came and so did Lana along with her parents and Nathan. Even Carter showed up. He sat next to me and held my hand the whole time, which really helped. Gary sat on the other side of meant comforted me when I cried.
The wake back at the apartment was even smaller, only close friends came and they didn't stay long. They sensed, or saw, that Jesses needed to move out of the apartment. He had boxes and boxes of things. I still thought it was early to leave St. Thomas but it would be good for everyone if we went on with our lives. Dad wouldn't have wanted to mourn his death. He would want us to remember his life.
Kristen looked very sad when she was leaving the wake.
"Goodbye, Lucky, again I'm so sorry," she told me.
"Thank you," I said. I wondered if she and Jesse were planning on having a long distance relationship and I asked her.
"He didn't tell you?" she asked.
I shook my head in confusion.
"He broke up with me," she said sadly.
I was surprised Jesse would break up with her just like that. Maybe he truly wanted to start a new life in Ottawa with no memories of St. Thomas.
After everyone left and I promised Carter I would write to him, Jesse and Gary packed the things he needed in the limo. He would send for the rest later.
Jesse fell asleep in the limo. He was exhausted after the day we had.
I dialed the number of Phantom Manor on the car phone and waited.
Maria picked up after three rings. She always let it ring at least three times. She didn't want people to think she had been waiting by the phone with nothing better to do.
"Hi," I said.
"Who is this? "she asked.
I felt a pang of hurt in my stomach. We had lived together for almost four months and she still didn't know my voice.
"Lucky, I'm on my way home," I said.
"Oh, right," she said.
"I'm bringing my brother with me," I announced.
"What? You can't do that! How will I explain it?" she asked frantically.
"He only has to stay a few days, until he finds an apartment," I assured her.
"What will I tell everyone?" she asked, her voice getting higher and higher with every word.
"Say he's a friend of mine and the rest is the truth," I told her. It really wasn't going to be that big a deal. Randall wouldn't notice him there and chances were, neither would Julianna.
"This is ludicrous!" she exclaimed.
I told her it would only be for a couple days and hung up before she could continue to object.
Jesse woke up as we were pulling into the driveway of Phantom Manor. He gazed up at it in awe just like I had.
"Wow," he breathed.
The entire house was dark when we walked in the front door but Maria appeared seemingly out of nowhere and motioned for us to be quiet. We followed her into the den and she turned on a small lamp that gave off very little light.
"You must be the infamous Maria," Jesse said smiling.
She only glared at him and told us to be quiet, "I don't want Randall or Julianna to hear us," she explained even thought that fact was apparent.
"I have to fill you in on the new details," she said,
"What new details?" I asked.
She stared at me like I had three heads, "I had to think up a whole new explanation for Scott and now your step-brother," she said.
"He's my full brother," I corrected her. I didn't want to think of Jesse as my stepbrother. He was more than that to me.
"Whatever," Maria said shaking her head, "I told Randall and Jules that your went to visit a sick friend and that Jesse here is another of your friends form home."
I listened carefully to the new pack of lies.
"I said he was going to stay here for a few days until he got settled," she finished.
I sighed. I hated lying for one more second. The pressure was becoming unbearable. I always felt like I would let something slip out at any moment that could tear down the fragile structure of lies that Maria had built around me.
"Fine," I said.
Maria showed Jesse to a guest room and then hurried away.
"Well, she seems nice," Jesse said falling onto the bed.
"She's wonderful," I said sarcastically. We said goodnight and I went to my room. I fell asleep almost immediately out of exhaustion.
The next day was Monday but I stayed home form school to help Jesse get settled. I found a bunch of massages from Adam on the table in the kitchen.
I hadn't really thought about him all weekend. I hadn't even called him to tell him where I was going. He was probably so worried. I knew he'd be at school but I called his house anyway. I left a message on the machine and planned to call again later.
The house was totally empty except for the servants when Jesse and I had breakfast. I asked Pierre to make crepes. Jesse loved them just like I knew he would. I wished briefly that I had the chance to make them for Dad.
Jesse saw the sad look on my face and said, "I miss Dad too,"
I smiled softly and left the house. We were going to find an apartment for him so we wouldn't have to inconvenience Maria too much longer.
It didn't take long for us to find the perfect place for him. It was in a developing part of Ottawa near the outskirts of the city. It was in the second floor, had one bedroom and a balcony. We were lucky to have found it so easily. It made me feel like everything really was meant to be and it would be okay.
A couple of days later Jesse was fortunate to have found a job as a groundskeeper and he planned to move into his apartment in a week. Everything was working out perfectly.
Neither Julianna nor Randall had met Jesse yet when I got home from school on Friday.
"How come you never told me your cute friend was coming to live here?" Julianna's loud voice ask.
"Jesse?' I asked.
She rolled her eyes, "Obviously,"
"Why would I tell you? We never speak to each other and you good reason," I said.
"So?"
"Look Jules, stay away from Jesse, he's not your type," I told her. I didn't want her to ruin Jesse's happiness. She didn't deserve a guy like Jesse.
"Don't even try to tell me what to do," she growled, "I will have Jesse and you can't stop me," she marched out of the room.
I sighed and hoped Jesse would be smart enough to see what she was really like. I felt confident he'd see through any of her masquerades.
Over the last few days I had become more and more restless. I felt like the lies were piling too high. I didn't need the pressure anymore. I was graduating this year and already had too much to think about. I was seriously thinking about telling Randall the truth about me.
I had already spoken to Adam about it and he agreed. He didn't think I should have to lie any longer either. My mother had to face her past sometime, now as good a time as any as far as I was concerned.
I saw my mother hurry past the living room doorway and I got up and went after her.
"Maria!" I called. She turned around with an irritated look on her face.
"What?' she sighed.
"I need to speak to you," I said.
"Fine, make it quick, I'm busy," she told me. Crossing her arms over her chest. I sighed. This was the way it was always like when I wanted to speak with her. She always had something better to do.
"I don't want to lie anymore, I think it would be a good time to tell your family the truth about me," I told her.
"No, that's not an option," she said.
"Why not?" I asked incredulously, "Were you planning on keeping it a secret forever?"
"As long as possible, yes," she admitted.
"Well I can't go on like this," I told her. I hoped that she cared about me somewhere deep in her heart, that she wanted me to be happy.
"Listen Lucky, you came here to my home and turned my life upside down, so don't try to call the shots around here," she snapped.
Anger and disappointment boiled in my stomach. My mother was making it painfully obvious that she didn't want me here. I was her mistake, the one she wanted to forget.
"Either you tell them or I will," I hissed at her and walked away.
I hadn't planned on giving her an ultimatum but apparently I had no choice. I had to do something for myself now, I couldn't cater to my selfish mother anymore.
I had too many other things to think about without having to worry about the lies too.
One important thing coming up was college. I knew I wanted to go to culinary school. I had enjoyed watching Pierre make complicated dishes for the past few months and would really enjoy doing that for a living. I knew Marcus was hoping I'd work at his computer software company but computers really weren't my thing. I didn't want to disappoint anyone but I had to follow my heart to be happy and that was what I was going to do.
I had already applied to the school I wanted to attend. I hadn't spoken to anyone about it and I knew I was being presumptuous by assuming Maria's family would pay for it, nut if they didn't then I would. I wasn't going to let this family control my life. Her parents had controlled Maria's life and I refused to let that happen to me.
I ended up falling asleep only to awake to the sound of slamming doors and someone yelling. I got up quickly and opened my door. Julianna came storming past. She paused a minute to glare at me before continuing to her room.
"Julianna!" Maria's voice called. She came down the hall and stopped when she saw me. There were tears in her blue eyes.
"I told the," she said,
I didn't say anything.
"And all thanks to you, they hate me," she rushed away from me and I turned and shut my door quickly.
It was a small relief to know there were no more lies but by the sound of it, there would only be more anger and hostility in the house.
If only I knew just how much.
