I noticed over the next few days that Randall and Maria were never together. I used to see them once in awhile sitting together or going for a walk, but now Maria went for walks by herself.
I felt a little bit guilty but I refused to blame myself for this. My mother had dug her own hole.
Julianna avoided me now more than ever.
I spent most of my time with Jesse and Adam. They had met and seemed to get along well. Jesse was a little preoccupied with his own life right now though. He was getting settled in his new job and in his apartment. He was applying to some school for the fall semester. He was going to take some art classes over the summer just to get back into the school thing.
My English teacher, Mr. McCoy, tried everyday to persuade me to take some literature courses at college but I wanted to go to culinary school. He even went as far as to say I was too smart to be a chef.
"But that is what I want to be," I insisted one day before class.
"You could be a fabulous writer," he told me.
"I can write and cook at the same time," I told him.
I was interested in fictional writing but I didn't want that as a career. It was more a hobby for me.
"I don't want you to waste your talent," he said.
"I won't," I assured him.
As the end of the year approached, so did prom and graduation. I had looked forward to this since I ever knew what it was. Adam and I planned to go together of course. I wished I could have more free time just to daydream about the prom but the atmosphere around Phantom Manor was too tense. Every time I passed my mother she would stiffen up and keep walking.
Instead of getting closer with the truth, we were growing further apart. Finally I couldn't take the stony silence anymore and I grabbed her arm as she passed me.
She pulled away from my grip quickly and turned to face me.
"Why are you ignoring me?" I demanded.
"Why? Hmm, let me think, maybe because you ruined my life," she hissed. At that moment I didn't know who was more immature, Maria or Julianna.
"I didn't do anything. You were the one who made all the decisions. I only came back to remind you of your mistakes," I shot back.
"My husband doesn't even sleep in our room thanks to you," she said. I couldn't believe how she was acting. Would she ever take responsibility for her own actions?
"It isn't my fault you lied to him for years," I pointed out, "You'll never stop lying. You are lying still, to me,"
"About what?" she asked in disbelief.
"About that secret room and your past," I said, "I still don't know who my father is,"
She became quiet at that. She seemed to be thinking about something. I thought she was about to blurt something out but she sighed loudly instead.
"I don't need this anymore. You are my daughter and I will do only what I have to," she walked away, leaving me staring after her.
I expected to be hurt by what she said but I finally didn't care anymore. I would never get anything but resentment from her. It would never change. I had to accept that.
There was one thing I could do though.
I found Randall in his office as usual. I knocked on the door and went to sit down when he told me to come in.
He smiled tightly. I could sense a little resentment there too, but he was too considerate to let it show.
"So, you are my step-daughter," he said.
I nodded feeling a little uncomfortable. What did I really think I could do?
"I guess so," I said smiling weakly.
He glanced around in discomfort and then looked back at me.
"Maria only lied to protect me," I told him. It was a total lie. My mother could care less about me.
"How did lying to me protect you?" he asked frowning.
"She thought it would be easier for me to make a new start that way," I told him. My argument was obviously weak but for some reason I felt obligated to try. I could tell by the look on Randall's face that he wanted a reason to forgive his wife. He hated being mad at her, so he's pretty much buy anything.
"Thank you for telling me this," he said thoughtfully.
As I left the room I realized I had made myself look like the bad guy in this whole mess. Maybe somewhere deep inside me I still wanted Maria to accept and love me. After all, she was my mother. The mother I'd always been praying for.
Later I asked Gary to take me over to Jesse's place. While he was getting the car, Julianna seemed to appear out of nowhere.
"Where are you off to?" she asked politely.
"To see my brother," I said.
"He's not really your brother, is he?" she said smiling.
"He'll always be my brother," I told her firmly.
"I've always wanted an older sister you know," she said, ignoring me.
"I bet you have," I said, only half listening.
"Sisters should look out for each other, help each other," she said coming closer, "I'd like to visit Jesse too, since he is my sister's good friend."
I was too tired to object so I said, "Fine," What could one visit hurt? Jesse was smart enough to see Julianna for who she really was. He didn't need me to protect him.
Gary drove us to Jesse's building and we made our way to his apartment.
"Hey," he said when he opened the door. He glanced over at Julianna but there was no change in his expression. Relieved, I moved past him into the living room. He had the furniture form the old apartment arranged nicely.
"Nice to see you again Jesse," Julianna said sweetly. I rolled my eyes at her attempt at being nice.
"You too," he said, "Do you want a drink?"
"I'd love one," she gushed.
"Okay," Jesses said slowly. He obviously noticed she was trying too hard also.
We spent the rest of our time there watching TV and talking. Julianna continued to be sickeningly sweet. She clung to Jesse's arm until he had to pull it from her grip to go to the bathroom.
Finally Julianna went down to the limo to wait for me.
"Someone had a crush," I teased him.
"Shut up," he said smiling.
I pretended to look offended but couldn't keep a straight face. I actually found Julianna's pathetic attempt at flirting humorous. She had always had guys come to her because of her looks. So she didn't really know how to flirt.
"She's so clingy," Jesse said wrinkling his nose.
I laughed; I knew there was no way Jesse and Julianna would ever be together. But sometimes the unexpected happened, I knew that also. I would still have to keep any eye on my half sister. A close eye.
