TITLE: Concerning Lupin
AUTHOR: FuschiaBoots
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: If you haven't read Book 5, don't read this.
SUMMARY: In the 24 hours after Sirius falls through the veil Lupin is haunted...but by what?
DISCLAIMER: I am character poor. I own none of them. They bedevil my psyche.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is an exploration of Lupin, as well as a bit of a mystery. It asks questions but doesn't provide any answers...hope you like it...and I would kill for reviews. Well...bite maybe, not kill. ;)
Raindrops burst against the windows. Silvery, wet bombs that threatened to shake the dark house to pieces. Even if it had collapsed, sucked into its own black hole, he wouldn't have cared. He wouldn't have moved. Just as right now he didn't move. Couldn't move. He just sat, the corner of the old bed sagging under his weight. He sat, staring blindly into the glowing green embers of the fire he had just arrived upon.
His eyes were pressed tight, lids shadowed as the dying glow of the fire cast a sickly green across the already pale face. Inky lines were drawn across his brow and down the sides of his mouth. But the face remained still. Only the slight shudder of breath showed he was more than just a statue.
But he felt like stone. It was as if his whole body was being concreted from the inside out. His heart was the first thing to go. People talk about your heart breaking when you lose somebody you love. For Remus Lupin, he couldn't afford that luxury. If he could have, he would have lain down long ago and let his heart break in a million places for every person he had loved and had left him. If it hadn't been the knowledge that Harry was now left without parents or godfather, perhaps he would have allowed himself to just slide to the floor and let everything go.
Instead, he steeled his body, let his heart turn to stone and lifted his eyes. Grey, misty eyes. For two precious years he had had his dearest friend back. After losing all three of them. Why were they all lost? Why couldn't he be lost with them? But now, as always, he would just have to do it alone. The Marauders were finished. If James had been the heart of the Marauders, Sirius had been the soul. He owed them one last thing: to rip the body of Peter Pettigrew out of this world. That would be it then. That would be the one last thing before he could leave and let his heart shatter.
Finally the statue let out a sigh and turned his head to watch the raindrops slide down the glass. Smash the glass, Remus. Cry out. Let in the wind and the rain. But he knew he could never do anything that dramatic. He wasn't the passionate one. He was the thinker. So he would get up, leave Sirius behind, and think about how to help Harry.
Lupin stood up slowly, his body tired from the evening's battle. His moth bitten robes swept the dusty floor as he dragged himself to the door. He didn't want to leave the room. Sirius' room.
But he did. He left, pulling the door softly shut, grey eyes locked forward. He would never go back in.
From behind the tear-streaked windowpane a reflection watched the man leave. Its face was sharp, eyes dark, hair black. The reflection looked longingly at the closing door, then faded into the rainy darkness.
AUTHOR: FuschiaBoots
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: If you haven't read Book 5, don't read this.
SUMMARY: In the 24 hours after Sirius falls through the veil Lupin is haunted...but by what?
DISCLAIMER: I am character poor. I own none of them. They bedevil my psyche.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is an exploration of Lupin, as well as a bit of a mystery. It asks questions but doesn't provide any answers...hope you like it...and I would kill for reviews. Well...bite maybe, not kill. ;)
Raindrops burst against the windows. Silvery, wet bombs that threatened to shake the dark house to pieces. Even if it had collapsed, sucked into its own black hole, he wouldn't have cared. He wouldn't have moved. Just as right now he didn't move. Couldn't move. He just sat, the corner of the old bed sagging under his weight. He sat, staring blindly into the glowing green embers of the fire he had just arrived upon.
His eyes were pressed tight, lids shadowed as the dying glow of the fire cast a sickly green across the already pale face. Inky lines were drawn across his brow and down the sides of his mouth. But the face remained still. Only the slight shudder of breath showed he was more than just a statue.
But he felt like stone. It was as if his whole body was being concreted from the inside out. His heart was the first thing to go. People talk about your heart breaking when you lose somebody you love. For Remus Lupin, he couldn't afford that luxury. If he could have, he would have lain down long ago and let his heart break in a million places for every person he had loved and had left him. If it hadn't been the knowledge that Harry was now left without parents or godfather, perhaps he would have allowed himself to just slide to the floor and let everything go.
Instead, he steeled his body, let his heart turn to stone and lifted his eyes. Grey, misty eyes. For two precious years he had had his dearest friend back. After losing all three of them. Why were they all lost? Why couldn't he be lost with them? But now, as always, he would just have to do it alone. The Marauders were finished. If James had been the heart of the Marauders, Sirius had been the soul. He owed them one last thing: to rip the body of Peter Pettigrew out of this world. That would be it then. That would be the one last thing before he could leave and let his heart shatter.
Finally the statue let out a sigh and turned his head to watch the raindrops slide down the glass. Smash the glass, Remus. Cry out. Let in the wind and the rain. But he knew he could never do anything that dramatic. He wasn't the passionate one. He was the thinker. So he would get up, leave Sirius behind, and think about how to help Harry.
Lupin stood up slowly, his body tired from the evening's battle. His moth bitten robes swept the dusty floor as he dragged himself to the door. He didn't want to leave the room. Sirius' room.
But he did. He left, pulling the door softly shut, grey eyes locked forward. He would never go back in.
From behind the tear-streaked windowpane a reflection watched the man leave. Its face was sharp, eyes dark, hair black. The reflection looked longingly at the closing door, then faded into the rainy darkness.
