Chapter 5:
"Nate, I think this is something you should discuss with her yourself." Luke's words echoed in my head repeatedly. He was right. If I wanted to apologize to Haley and even hope that she'd forgive me, I'd have to tell her myself.
Haley had been the one thing that was constantly on my mind since that day she called Luke on the basketball court. I never did anything to deserve Haley in high school. I had been nothing but a pompous jerk and a real ass to Lucas, her best friend. The only reason we even got to know each other was because I wanted to get at Lucas where it would hurt the most, Haley. I was just using her.
Then it all changed, the night Peyton broke up with me. Haley became more than just a way to get at my brother. She was everything I ever wanted and everything that for once; I couldn't have. The closer I got, the more I screwed up: the more I ruined any chance of being with her. Thank God, she cared about me too, enough to crack the proverbial whip behind my ass. I realized that if I didn't do something, I'd lose her forever.
I kissed her, right in mid sentence. She had been ranting about how much she put her trust in me and how I kept letting her down and I kissed her. She looked at me for a moment, mumbled something and then launched herself at me. I had never been more relieved or elated than in that moment.
I had been foolish, no I had been stupid, to let her go. She was the one person who believed in me when nobody else would. I had convinced myself that I loved Lexi. That she was the one, but ever since that stupid phone call, I've been questioning whether or not Lexi and I are meant to be. I have no answers anymore and I need those answers.
Just then, my cell rang, interrupting my thoughts. I checked the id; Lexi, go figure. I hastily picked it up. "Hello?"
"Hey Baby." She chirped. "Luke get off okay?"
"He should be in Boston right now." I mumbled.
"That's good. Listen, could you stop by the store and pick something up for me? I need skim milk." She asked.
"Sure, Lex. I'll be home soon." I replied, hurriedly trying to get her to hang up.
"Okay, see you when you get home, kisses." With that she hung up.
I raked my fingers through my brown hair. Only one thing was going to fix this. If I wanted answers or some type of closure, I had to see Haley. I had to know if I still love her and get her to forgive me. I need those answers and only Haley has them, as per usual. Haley always had answers.
I flipped open my cell and found Skills' number and dialed him up. "Hey Dawg." His smooth voice picked up on the third ring.
"Hey Skills." I sighed. "Listen, I need to ask you a favor."
"Sure. What's up?" Skills asked, sounding genuinely interested in what the favor was.
"I've been thinking a lot about what Luke said. Could you by chance, have Haley's number?" I crossed my fingers, hoping he did.
"Yeah, hold on." I heard some rummaging in the background, but soon he returned. "You got a pen and paper?"
I dug out my palm pilot and opened it up to telephone numbers. "Go ahead."
"Haley's number is; 555-9803." Skills said, as I punched the number in. "Her cell is; 476-4286."
"Thanks Skills, I owe you." I replied, punching in Haley's cell.
"No, you owe her. I'm glad you two are finally gonna get some closure. It broke her real bad, when you left her like that. I know you never meant to hurt her, but you did a number on her, Bro." Skills said sadly.
"I know. I'm looking for forgiveness, so we can both move on." I sighed. "Hurting Haley was the farthest thing from my list."
"I know. But, instead of moving on, are you hoping to rekindle?" Skills inquired.
I contemplated the thought. "I don't know, Skills. I plan to go see her face to face, maybe. I don't even know if she has a boyfriend."
"She doesn't. Haley's never really dated since you broke up with her. She's not really into it. What are you going to tell Lexi?"
"The truth. I need some sort of closure. I've been thinking about it a lot and I need Haley to forgive me for me to completely move on. I'm sure she'll understand." I shrugged, even though Skills couldn't see me.
"Right." Skills drawled. "Good luck with that."
~An hour later~
"What do you mean you need to go see her?!" Lexi shrieked.
"I need closure, Lex. If I ever want to move forward with you, I need Haley to forgive me." I explained for the umpteenth time.
"Don't Bulls**t me, Nathan Scott. You just want to see if she still loves you, so you can get back together." Lexi snapped.
"I'm not Bulls**ting you!" I exclaimed exasperated. "I'm not going to go see her so I can get back together with her. I've never really moved on. I need her to forgive me so I can."
"No, you do want to get back together with her. You just won't admit it!" She sobbed. "Two years, Nathan. You've been with me for two years and all this time you've been in love with her!"
"That's it, Lex. If you don't trust me enough, to see my ex- girlfriend for closure, which by the way, we've been over for a very long time; then you never trusted me at all. Frankly, I can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't trust me. Congratulations Lex, you just ended our relationship." I spun on my heel to head back out the door.
"Nathan no!" She cried.
"I'm going to Boston when Luke comes back, when I get back, I want you gone. I'll stay at a hotel for now. You've got until Friday, Lex." I snapped, marching out the door and slamming it behind me. Why the Hell did I do that?
"Nate, I think this is something you should discuss with her yourself." Luke's words echoed in my head repeatedly. He was right. If I wanted to apologize to Haley and even hope that she'd forgive me, I'd have to tell her myself.
Haley had been the one thing that was constantly on my mind since that day she called Luke on the basketball court. I never did anything to deserve Haley in high school. I had been nothing but a pompous jerk and a real ass to Lucas, her best friend. The only reason we even got to know each other was because I wanted to get at Lucas where it would hurt the most, Haley. I was just using her.
Then it all changed, the night Peyton broke up with me. Haley became more than just a way to get at my brother. She was everything I ever wanted and everything that for once; I couldn't have. The closer I got, the more I screwed up: the more I ruined any chance of being with her. Thank God, she cared about me too, enough to crack the proverbial whip behind my ass. I realized that if I didn't do something, I'd lose her forever.
I kissed her, right in mid sentence. She had been ranting about how much she put her trust in me and how I kept letting her down and I kissed her. She looked at me for a moment, mumbled something and then launched herself at me. I had never been more relieved or elated than in that moment.
I had been foolish, no I had been stupid, to let her go. She was the one person who believed in me when nobody else would. I had convinced myself that I loved Lexi. That she was the one, but ever since that stupid phone call, I've been questioning whether or not Lexi and I are meant to be. I have no answers anymore and I need those answers.
Just then, my cell rang, interrupting my thoughts. I checked the id; Lexi, go figure. I hastily picked it up. "Hello?"
"Hey Baby." She chirped. "Luke get off okay?"
"He should be in Boston right now." I mumbled.
"That's good. Listen, could you stop by the store and pick something up for me? I need skim milk." She asked.
"Sure, Lex. I'll be home soon." I replied, hurriedly trying to get her to hang up.
"Okay, see you when you get home, kisses." With that she hung up.
I raked my fingers through my brown hair. Only one thing was going to fix this. If I wanted answers or some type of closure, I had to see Haley. I had to know if I still love her and get her to forgive me. I need those answers and only Haley has them, as per usual. Haley always had answers.
I flipped open my cell and found Skills' number and dialed him up. "Hey Dawg." His smooth voice picked up on the third ring.
"Hey Skills." I sighed. "Listen, I need to ask you a favor."
"Sure. What's up?" Skills asked, sounding genuinely interested in what the favor was.
"I've been thinking a lot about what Luke said. Could you by chance, have Haley's number?" I crossed my fingers, hoping he did.
"Yeah, hold on." I heard some rummaging in the background, but soon he returned. "You got a pen and paper?"
I dug out my palm pilot and opened it up to telephone numbers. "Go ahead."
"Haley's number is; 555-9803." Skills said, as I punched the number in. "Her cell is; 476-4286."
"Thanks Skills, I owe you." I replied, punching in Haley's cell.
"No, you owe her. I'm glad you two are finally gonna get some closure. It broke her real bad, when you left her like that. I know you never meant to hurt her, but you did a number on her, Bro." Skills said sadly.
"I know. I'm looking for forgiveness, so we can both move on." I sighed. "Hurting Haley was the farthest thing from my list."
"I know. But, instead of moving on, are you hoping to rekindle?" Skills inquired.
I contemplated the thought. "I don't know, Skills. I plan to go see her face to face, maybe. I don't even know if she has a boyfriend."
"She doesn't. Haley's never really dated since you broke up with her. She's not really into it. What are you going to tell Lexi?"
"The truth. I need some sort of closure. I've been thinking about it a lot and I need Haley to forgive me for me to completely move on. I'm sure she'll understand." I shrugged, even though Skills couldn't see me.
"Right." Skills drawled. "Good luck with that."
~An hour later~
"What do you mean you need to go see her?!" Lexi shrieked.
"I need closure, Lex. If I ever want to move forward with you, I need Haley to forgive me." I explained for the umpteenth time.
"Don't Bulls**t me, Nathan Scott. You just want to see if she still loves you, so you can get back together." Lexi snapped.
"I'm not Bulls**ting you!" I exclaimed exasperated. "I'm not going to go see her so I can get back together with her. I've never really moved on. I need her to forgive me so I can."
"No, you do want to get back together with her. You just won't admit it!" She sobbed. "Two years, Nathan. You've been with me for two years and all this time you've been in love with her!"
"That's it, Lex. If you don't trust me enough, to see my ex- girlfriend for closure, which by the way, we've been over for a very long time; then you never trusted me at all. Frankly, I can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't trust me. Congratulations Lex, you just ended our relationship." I spun on my heel to head back out the door.
"Nathan no!" She cried.
"I'm going to Boston when Luke comes back, when I get back, I want you gone. I'll stay at a hotel for now. You've got until Friday, Lex." I snapped, marching out the door and slamming it behind me. Why the Hell did I do that?
