Title: Nightswimming Revisited

Author: Kaitlyn

Rating: R

Summary: Burning lungs, dirty dancing, nightswimming and second chances...Loud music, tainted smoke, fiery kisses and racing hearts. Everyone remembers what it was like to be 18. Established R/R and eventual C/M.

Oh God, how long has it been? Bet you thought I'd forgotten, hadn't you? :-) As a reward for your patience, a large part of this chapter will be purely cute Ross and Rachelness!

Also, some of these situations (ie: the swimming pool scene) might seem superfluous (unneeded), but, again, they are just to simulate the decisions and thought processes of the average teenager.

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"Topeka? Where the hell's Topeka?" Rachel asked groggily, waking up from her nap.

"It's the capital of Kansas," Ross informed.

"Smartass."

"It's also our home for the next 15 hours or so, so learn to love it," Chandler informed.

"Ugh," Rachel complained, plopping back down in the seat. "Middle America, my ass."

"Come on," Phoebe urged from the middle section of the car. "Open your mind, Rachel! Topeka could be fun! Have you ever BEEN?"

"Well, no..."

"Then how do you know it's not going to be like the most magical place ever?"

"I don't know," Rachel murmured, sitting back up and leaning against the window. She turned her gaze intensely off into the distance, leaning her head against the pane. "I just want to get to California," she whispered. Ross laid a reassuring hand on her knee.

"I hear Topeka has a California Pizza Kitchen," he joked, rubbing her knee. "I'll take you there tonight and it'll be almost as good as the real thing." She looked over at him and couldn't conceal a smile.

"Okay, now you're just showing off."

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"Woah-ho," Joey exclaimed, walking into the lobby of the latest motel and dropping his suitcase instantly at his side. "What a piece of shit," he whispered to Phoebe, regarding the fairly dilapidated decor of the interior of the motel. She nodded in agreement.

"Well, it's no Indianapolis," Ross confirmed, trying to stay positive, "but we'll be out of here first thing in the morning."

"Oh God," Monica whispered to Rachel as she emerged from the bathroom, clasping her arms like she was either terrified or chilly.

"What?"

"I think I'm going to have nightmares tonight," she whined, obviously referring to the state of the bathroom.

"Just don't touch anything," Rachel warned, subconsciously stepping away from the crackling wallpapered wall. She looked up at the ceiling and behind her like she was trying to avoid all contact with anything in the area. "This place probably hasn't been renovated since the Alamo."

"Okay," Chandler interrupted, handing Rachel and Monica their respective keys. "The rooms are paid for. Ross and I are going to get the rest of the stuff out of the car. You guys can head up to the rooms if you want."

"Oh, hey, wait," Monica insisted, grabbing Chandler's arm. "Did the concierge say if there was anything to do around here for fun? You know, like tonight?"

"No, I think we're pretty much out of luck, other than Pay-Per-View and the swimming pool," he answered. Monica and Rachel's faces both dropped disappointedly. "Oh, and a rousing game of Bingo at the senior center across the street, if you're interested." Monica rolled her eyes.

"We'll see you two in the rooms. Come on, Rachel."

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The rooms were not far removed from the decadence of the foyer. The walls were stained an unintentionally off-white/yellowish color, most likely from cigarette smoke or humidity, and the carpets and linens were faded. Mediocre artwork, sad and isolated in an intangible but stomach-clenching way, hung above the single queen beds in each room. One was of a small boy sending a toy sailboat to sea and the other of an old couple sitting on a rickety wooden bench inside a garden.

"Ugh!" Rachel protested, collapsing on the stiff and inhospitable bed. "I know I've only been here for like 15 minutes, but Topeka? Not impressing me."

"Yeah, well, at least it's only for tonight. By the time everyone gets settled and changes clothes, it'll be time for dinner."

"Are there even any restaurants around here?"

"I think I saw a Popeye's down the street," Monica answered. In return, Rachel squinted her eyes and scrunched up her nose in disapproval. "And the hotel bar it is. Why do you want to get to California so badly, Rach?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I just do. I just have an expectation that I'll find some sense of peace from all of this there, you know? I mean, it's California! The land of opportunity! The place where dreams come true! It seems to fit."

"Well, that makes sense," Monica affirmed, nodding her head. After a short interim of silence, though, she added "just don't miss out on the little things while you're searching for the big one. There are going to be a lot of Topekas on the way to the few Californias, you know?" Rachel nodded knowingly.

"Yeah," she whispered, looking pensive but also vaguely sad. "I know."

Just then, Chandler and Ross busted into the room clutching bags and suitcases in both hands.

"You girls want to give us a hand here or what?" Ross asked, holding out Rachel's bag for her to take.

"Which room is ours?" she asked him, retrieving her bag and lugging it over to the dresser with both arms.

"You guys just want to take this one?" Chandler asked. "We've got the one across the hall." Ross nodded as Chandler and Monica turned to exit the room. He sighed, shutting the door behind them and slinging the other three suitcases he was holding onto the nearest bed. Walking over to the other one, he plopped down exaggeratedly, his body giving into the mattress and causing the springs to squeak.

"Well, it's not exactly the Plaza," he admitted to Rachel, turning onto his side to face her and propping his head up on a bent elbow. "But I guess it'll suffice for a night." She smiled weakly and nodded, seemingly lost in thought. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she lied, shrugging his question off. "I just want to get to California is all."

Tired of beating around the bush and circumnavigating any potential small talk that might be leading up to the real issue at hand, Ross just cut directly to the chase.

"What is it you're hoping to find there, Rachel?" he asked seriously.

"Ugh," she moaned, rolling her eyes in slight annoyance. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Maybe because you're not doing a very good job at masking your contempt for every place we've stopped that's stood in the way of New York and the West Coast?" he ventured, a bit sarcastically. "Really, Rachel..." he stated seriously, catching her glance with his. "What is it?" Genuine concern filled his words.

Before she could answer, he patted the mattress in front of where he was laying and waited for her to take a few steps forward to sit down next to him. He stroked her arm supportively and caringly while she talked.

"I was talking to Monica about it when you guys came in before," she admitted, her voice small and soft and slightly bashful. "I don't know how to explain it," she continued, her voice cracking and threatening to break. He saw tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes and he sat up beside her, wrapping both arms around her and pulling her into a full-on embrace on the bed.

"Shhh," he consoled, pressing her head into his best. "You can tell me." She wrapped one arm around his middle and clutched the front of his shirt with the other.

"I guess I just feel like everything will make sense for me when I get there. I feel like I'll finally understand why my mother left my father..."

"Don't you mean why your father leave your mother?"

"No," she whispered, shaking her head slightly. He nodded understandingly and let her continue. "I feel I'm all of a sudden going to have all this clarity about my life--about who I am and why it took me so long to be okay with you, and with my parents, and with everything. I mean, is that...is that completely stupid?" she asked, leaning away from him a bit to search his eyes for the answer.

"No," he answered immediately, placing his hands on her shoulders. "God, Rach, no. No, it's not stupid at all." He pulled her back in for another hug, this time resting his head on her shoulder. He kissed her there, shaking his head still. "Nothing about that is stupid."

"What if I'm wrong, though?" she asked seriously. "What if I get there and nothing's different? Nothing's changed and I'm still just this-this confused, scared, fucked-up girl who doesn't know anything?" He stared back at her as she asked the question, not really knowing what to say. "God, I'm so scared of that, Ross. I'm so afraid of going back home with no answers."

They just sat like that for a while, hugging and listening to the sounds of her crying reverberating off the walls and echoing around the small room. He stroked her hair and kissed her shoulder and rubbed her back until she hiccupped one last, final cry and then he wiped the last tear from her face.

"If you don't find what you're looking for, Rach...then you just don't," he stated flatly. She looked at him perplexed, wondering what kind of solace that was supposed to be offering. He wasn't done, though. "If you go back home just as confused as when you left, then...then I guess you just do. That doesn't mean you'll never know, though, Rachel, and that certainly doesn't mean you're fucked-up."

"I just want to know so badly. I'm so sick of being tired and upset and worried. I just...I just want to be normal for five seconds." He shook his head.

"Rachel, you could never be normal. You couldn't be normal if you tried every day for the rest of your life. You're ANYTHING but normal." She smiled, marveling at how he always seemed to know what to say. "And even if you don't find what you're looking for in California, I KNOW you'll find it somewhere."

She even laughed aloud a bit with his last comment, shaking her head and smiling widely through the remnants of her tears at his affinity for all the right words at exactly the right time. She kissed him softly on the lips and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, getting up to wash her face.

"All better now?" he turned to ask her as she made her way across the hotel room to the sink.

"Yeah," she called from the bathroom.

"Good. You want to shower? I'm going to wait until later because I think this place has a pool and I have every intention of going swimming after dinner," he announced proudly, getting up and walking over to his suitcase to change clothes.

When she emerged from the bathroom, he was lifting his warn-out t-shirt over his head. She smiled at the domesticity of all this. She wouldn't even be 18 for another month, but something in their relationship was so comfortable and made her feel so mature. She never thought by the time she was 17 she'd be in a relationship with the man she was sure she'd marry, sleeping with him on a regular basis and traveling the country at his side. Something in the knowledge that they were comfortable enough with each other to have no inhibitions or even think twice about undressing in front of each other was consoling. As he bent over his suitcase shirtless, searching recklessly for some chance clothing item, she watched the muscles in his back stretch and tighten beneath the expanse of tanned skin. She admired the way his pants hung from his hips and the way his hair was always endearingly tousled. Crossing the room, she snuck up behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle, pressing her face into his back and kissing him in the valley between his shoulder blades.

"Hey there," he greeted her, standing up erect now and smiling contentedly.

"Hi," she responded between small kisses to his back. She placed the palms of her hands firmly against his stomach.

"What're you doing?" he asked, a bit confused at this sudden display of affection. He took her hands from his stomach and kissed them carefully.

"Just got the urge," she explained, now standing on her tip-toes to kiss the back of his neck. He smiled, failing to conceal the excitement she endorsed within him with her kisses and touches.

"You get this particular urge often?" he asked, feeling proud of himself but also a little disappointed that they'd be meeting the other four for dinner shortly.

"Sometimes," she answered casually, shrugging and continuing her parade of kissing along his shoulder now.

"What gives?" he teased, secretly shivering at the prolonged feel of her lips against his skin. "How come you get to have your way with me whenever you please but I always seem to have to ask?"

At this, she moved her hands from his and placed them firmly on his chest, scratching his skin playfully with her fingernails and then running them down the front of his body, stopping just above the waistband of his pants. Paralleling this, she placed a single, open-mouthed kiss in the center of his back, running her tongue along his skin and punctuating it's end up biting down a bit. He closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh.

"Oh...right," he moaned, answering his own question. "That's why."

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Dinner at the hotel's restaurant was sub par. It was a quaint little cavern located off the main lobby that was trying failingly to recreate the decor and ambience of an Irish pub. Their waiter looked to be about 16 and the extent of the bartender's capabilities flipping a beer bottle awkwardly into the air. Chandler pointed out that the background music was actually closer to Green than Irish. After a mediocre round of hamburgers and sodas, the group headed back to their rooms to change into bathing suits. It was only 8 p.m. and they still had at least a couple of hours to waste before even thinking about going to bed.

Unable to locate and unsure that he even packed his swimming trunks, Ross settled for the boxers and Army green khaki shorts he was already wearing. He watched Rachel switch into her new bathing suit, seeing it for the first time and realizing that it was white.

"Uh...Rach?" he asked, watching as she finished typing the loose halter strings around her neck.

"Huh?"

"Isn't that going to be a bit...um...see-through? When it gets wet, I mean?"

"What? Oh, you mean because it's white? No, there are like 3 layers inside it. You can't see anything. Why?" she asked curiously, flipping her hair girlishly over her shoulder. He waltzed up to her and placed his fingers lightly on his sides, kissing her on the forehead.

"Just wondering. Didn't want to have to knock out any perverts with wondering eyes," he joked, smiling charmingly but also a bit protectively at her. She patted his chest and brushed past him for the door.

"Don't worry. This thing has 3 layers and just soaks the water right up. After it gets wet, it'll probably just fall right off, anyway," she teased, watching his face drop as she began to walk through the door.

"Hey, Rach, wait a minute!" he called, slipping through the door after her.

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The indoor pool was surprisingly nice, given the furnishings of the rest of the hotel. It was spacious and heated and above it was wrapped a huge, glass dome through which the stars and sky could be seen. Balls, noodles and a small, floating water basketball net were provided by the hotel and the group of 6 were the only ones inhabiting the pool that late at night. Joey and Phoebe were relaxing in the hot tub off to the side, while Monica, Chandler, Ross and Rachel lounged around in the main pool.

"This is boring," Chandler indicated. "There's nothing to do."

"What are you talking about? We're swimming," Ross pointed out. "What more do you want?" He was occupied near the entry steps of the pool where he and Rachel were sitting and playfully wrestling.

"Yeah, but we're not DOING anything," Chandler insisted.

"Swim some laps and quit complaining," Ross shot back at him, content to sit with Rachel. Chandler threw him an evil, mimicking look but Ross didn't notice. He wouldn't have cared if he had.

"You know, you can make out with your girlfriend in your room. You didn't need to come all the way down here to do it," Chandler snarked, earning a disapproving slap on the shoulder from Monica.

"Chandler, quit it," she demanded. "They're in love." She looked at her brother and best friend longingly. As strange as it was, she sometimes envied their complex relationship. Even for all their endeavors and complications and misunderstandings and falling outs, she knew those were the things that made them so inseparable in the end. She loved Chandler, but she felt like sometimes they were even a bit...TOO normal.

"Well, I'm in love, too," he admitted, wrapping his arms around her and smiling. "I'm just in love and restless." Monica smiled back at him.

"Look at them," she said, gesturing towards the couple on the other side of the pool. Ross was sitting on one of the fully-emerged steps and Rachel was leaning into him, splashing water on his face until he stopped her by grabbing her arm, causing her to let out a high-pitched squeal. Monica sighed. "How do you think they got that way?"

"I thought we'd already had this conversation," Chandler pointed out. He looked at them, following her gaze. "Yeah, I mean, they're cute. They're in love. What's so unique about that, though?"

"Oh, come on! Don't tell me you think they're normal." She shook her head, lost in thought, her gaze seeming to go on forever past them. "No, there's something special about them. It's like...it's like their invincible. Nothing could ever break them up."

"Didn't it, though?" Chandler asked densely.

"Not really," she denied. "I mean, sure, the title was gone for a while. THEY were never really gone, though." She turned her head to look at him. "Do you think we could ever be like that?"

"I don't think so," Chandler admitted. He saw the hurt in her eyes and stroked her arms comfortingly. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I just mean...think of all they've been through, you know? That's rare. I don't think there's ANYONE with a history THAT complicated and dysfunctional. Yeah, they seem to make it work, but who's to say anyone else could? I love you, no matter how painfully normal you seem to think we are." She smiled at his revelation and kissed him.

"Not painful," she assured, kissing him again.

On the other side of the pool, Ross pulled Rachel swiftly into his lap, receiving little objection or resistance from her. He was getting antsy. Having to be next to her all night while she was clad in that swimsuit was frustrating, to say the least, and he was losing his patience with her subtle flirtations. She'd been sporadically stroking his leg or grabbing his ass all night and it was getting to him.

"You know, you're going to start having to control these little 'urges' you've been getting all day," he warned, kissing her shoulder and placing his hands on her thighs. "You're driving me crazy. I'm beginning to lose my cool, here."

"Cool?" she teased, scrunching her face in a mock confused look. He grabbed her waist suddenly in retaliation, surprising her and tickling her at the same time. She giggled her patented adorable Rachel giggle and his heart melted for it.

"You want to go outside?" Ross asked quietly, whispering it into her ear.

"Why? What's outside?" she asked naively.

"Privacy," he retorted, giving her a suggestive grin and rubbing his hands up her thighs anxiously.

They got out of the pool, not bothering to towel off, and made their way for the door connecting the inside pool to the outside pool. Both Chandler and Joey simultaneously opened their mouths to say something but Phoebe and Monica shushed him.

"Leave them alone," Phoebe scolded. Joey looked upset.

"Aw, I was going to give Ross a hard time," he protested.

"We know," Monica and Phoebe replied in unison.

Outside, it was already pitch dark, with only the lights coming from underneath the water of the pool offering any illumination. The water was still warm from the blazing sun that day and the added mugginess of the night. They slipped into the water, the rippling of the small waves they caused and the croaking of some nearby mating crickets slicing through the night as the only audible sounds.

"The water's nice," Rachel noted, staying near the edge of the pool.

"Uh huh," Ross confirmed, maneuvering his way over to her with a serious and sexy look in his eyes. She couldn't help but smile.

"What's gotten into you? You've been like poised to pounce this entire trip!"

"Sorry," he answered shyly, resisting reaching out to her now.

"No, no, it's okay," she assured, grabbing his shoulders and rubbing them in small circles. "I was just wondering what the deal was."

"No deal," he answered, shrugging it off casually. "I just can't ever get enough of you. Is that such a bad thing?" he asked, grinning cutely and resting his hands on her sides.

"No.." she whispered timidly, smiling and reciprocating by wrapping her legs around his waist weaving her fingers through his hair. "No a bad thing at all..."

He pushed her back against the concrete side of the pool, kissing her forcefully and securing his hands beneath his ass to hold her up. She made a muffled "umpf" sound when she hit the wall, causing him to break the kiss.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, not wanting to move his hands but kissing her cheek sweetly. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, no," she answered hurriedly, a bit out of breath and pulling him back to her quickly to continue the suspended kiss. The stifled sounds of their hasty breathing flickered and echoed around the outdoor pool area, picked up by the eardrums of no one. After a few elongated minutes of clawing at each other's skin and swimsuits and assaulting each other with their lips, they came up for air.

"It'd be wrong to have sex without a condom, wouldn't it?" Ross asked, not really sure of what he wanted the answer to be. If she said 'yes', that would crush all possibility completely, killing the mood slightly and disappointing him. If she said 'no', however, he'd still know it to be risky but might not be able to stop himself from doing it, anyway.

"I-I don't know," she answered, at least prolonging the finality of the decision. She was breathing heavily right into his face, her breath mixing with his in the space between them. Water dripped from their noses and hair, along with sweat. Was it possible to sweat in a swimming pool at night? Apparently so.

"The guys are right in there," he pointed out, as if they needed another reason to understand that the decision would be stupid.

"Yeah," she agreed, looking down at the water that was lapping at her chest and shoulders. She felt his hands shift on her ass and her crotch shift against his, though, and all thought escaped her mind. "But, you know, I just had my period last week. There'd be almost no chance of me getting pregnant."

He paused to consider this for a moment. God, it was tempting. Did he really want to be one of those guys who had unprotected sex with their girlfriends solely because they couldn't control themselves? She was so incredibly sexy, though, and wet and half-naked right in his hands. She was practically persuading him. Was she right? It was her body. She knew it better than him.

"It's your call, then," he declared, looking steadily and deeply into her eyes. She nodded, answering him silently as she reached between them to unbutton his already-slipping shorts. This was it. There was no turning back. They were going to do this. He was going to feel what it was like to be inside her unrestrained and naturally. The nervousness and anxiety only heightented the intensity of the situation.

They couldn't undress completely in case someone walked by or one of their friends came outside looking for them. Instead, Rachel navigated him through the opening of his boxers and unzipped shorts and let him slide into her after pushing her swimsuit bottoms to the side. With the first stroke, when he pushed himself competely inside her, she let out a loud moan that she soon regretted and was sure everyone in the rooms above them and inside could hear. She didn't care, though. It felt amazing. He felt amazing. He pushed in and out of her, both of them feeling weightlessly dizzy in the water. He leaned into her, resting his head on her shoulder and biting down occasionly on her skin to stifle a groan. She wrapped her legs more tightly around his waist, pressing her heels into his back and urging him on.

"Almost...there," he warned, grasping her ass more firmly for leverage. "Are...you...sure?" he asked, and she knew just what he meant.

"Yes," she managed, closing her eyes and digging her fingernails into his back to let him know she didn't want him to pull out. When he came, he bit down on her neck and his whole body went tense.

"That was so weird," she admitted afterwards, feeling him tense up even more at the revelation. That probably wasn't what a guy wanted to hear right after having sex. "No," she corrected herself, rubbing her hands over his back. "I mean, it was weird...feeling that...happen...inside...You know what I mean!"

"Hmm, I don't think 'weird' would be the word I'd use," he teased, smiling at her. He kissed her nose playfully and patted her ass before gesturing towards the latter. "Want to call it a night? That kind of wore me out." She looked at him quizzically.

"Wore you out? Ross, you're only 18. This does not bode well for your future."

"Hey, now," he cautioned teasingly, tickling her sides as she climbed out of the pool. "Watch yourself or I might hold out on you tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night, eh? What makes you so sure there's going to be a tomorrow night?" she asked sensually, toying with his mind. She loved doing that. She had such control over him. Before she knew it, though, he'd grabbed her and picked her up in his arms.

"Don't play with my emotions, woman," he taunted, in a mockingly masculine voice.

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"Ross?" she asked from the bed, watching him walk out of the bathroom after showering later that night with only a towel wrapped around his waist. She was naked, too, and waiting for him underneath the covers.

"Hmm?"

"How old do you think someone should be before having children?" Her quesiton obviously startled him and he whirled around from where he was digging through his suitcase, looking concerened and freaked out.

"What? Why? You don't, like, feel weird or anything, do you?"

"No, nothing like that," she assured, laughing at his typical male response. "Just, you know, don't you ever think about us having kids?"

"Oh, well, sure. All the time." He returned to what he was doing, relieved that the question had only been part of standard Rachel chatter.

"How do you see us, you know, in the future? Like, how old are we?"

"I don't know," he answered casually, dropping his towel to put on a pair of plain white boxers. "Maybe like 25 or so."

"Oh yeah? What kind of stuff are we doing?" she asked, scotting over as he climbed in bed beside her. He leaned to turn off the lamp, smothering all light from the room and throwing a blanket of darkness over them. He cuddled up next to her in the spooning position, envelping her in his arms.

"It's kind of random, actually," he admitted. "We're always with the other four and we always seem to be in this funky little coffee house. Just, you know, talking and hanging out."

"Interesting." A few moments of silence passed by with no movement from either one.

"Ross?" she asked suddenly.

"Hmm?" he answered, almost completey asleep.

"Do you think we'll make it to that coffee house?"

"Every day of the week."

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End Chapter 19. Continued in Chapter 20.