A/N: Hi. I'm sorry I haven't updated for a long time, but I doubt it makes a difference anyway. I did have a legitimate excuse for half the summer, but then for the rest I was just being lazy. So, sorry. Also, sorry about the lack of reviewer-thanks(es?). It's been so long that I've forgotten who reviewed. I don't even know when I'm going to post this, because if you post at night the actual fic shows up at midnight and then nobody sees it the next morning because all the stories that were posted at midnight show up in the morning. (Does that make sense?) I can't post at any time other than at night, because I'm grounded indefinitely and I only have internet access for two hours every night. Yeah, it's dumb.

Scene Twenty-Four: Preparation, 7th Year Girls' Dorm, New Year's Eve

Lily, OC, and OC2 are primping in the dormitory.

LILY: This is so incredibly boring.

OC2: Yeah. Why don't we just use a charm and get it over with?

OC: Like, yeah! I'll do it! [waves wand] Go.... Beautifulness!

Nothing happens.

LILY: That was even worse than James' supposed Slytherin-clearing spell. What was it? 'Clearus Slytherinus' or something like that?

DIRECTOR: Well, at least James' sounded Latin.

OC: [pouts] Well, we, like, don't know, like, Latin.

DIRECTOR: (sarcastically) Then how about some gibberish? That always works.

LILY: [waves wand] Tooblymookierux!

Everyone's makeup is suddenly perfectly done, complete with a little added plastic surgery. The girls cheer.

DIRECTOR: [reads off the script] Lily was wearing a gorgeous green gown that exactly matched the color of her eyes. It was also very short, but, of course, not slutty. Her lovely auburn hair was arranged in soft ringlets framing her pale face and her very high cheekbones. Her very high heels matched her dress and she looked stunning.

LILY: [curtsies] Why, thank you!

OC2: What about us?

DIRECTOR: [yawns] I'm too tired to read it, but it's pretty much the same thing.

LILY: Wait... I thought this was a masked ball?

DIRECTOR: Oh yeah! [Hands out masks.] By the way, don't forget your nametags.

OC2: Why do we need nametags if it's a masked ball?

DIRECTOR: [snorts] You honestly think the boys will be smart enough to find you without 'em?

LILY: But it's supposed to be fate! You know, [draws finger quotes] 'star-crossed lovers'?

DIRECTOR: Uh... yeah...but the male race has significantly gone downhill since then. You wouldn't want those poor Marauders to leave with gorgeous, evil Slytherin girls, would you?

OC: Like, no way! Hurry up, let's go!

Scene Twenty-Five: The Ball, Great Hall, later on New Year's Eve

The Great Hall is lovely and decorated and students are milling around in masks. Of course James and Lily were in charge of all the decorations, but they are so wonderfully talented that they simply waved their wands and everything was done in five minutes. Then they went off to snog.

James, Sirius, and Remus walk in, all looking very delectable and yummy and wearing Muggle tuxes. Peter looks fat and ugly, but he is also wearing a tux.

SIRIUS: [Points] Look! Food! [Runs over to the food table]

REMUS: [Points] Look! OC2! [Runs in the opposite direction]

PETER: W..Why are we wearing these things again? I can't breathe!

JAMES: (patiently) Because it's a ball with Muggle clothing because dresses are so much more interesting than robes.

PETER: Oh. Okay. I'm going to go A. lurk in a dark corner and spike the drinks or B. dance with my totally desperate girlfriend from Hufflepuff.

JAMES: Okay. Bye! [waves]

James stands by himself, looking around at all the dancers.

JAMES: [Points] Ooh! Look! I think that's Lily!

The camera zooms in on Lily, who has a glowing sign above her head that reads "Hello, my name is: Lily Evans."

JAMES: [Runs over] Lillllllllllllly!

LILY: (Angrily) Shhh! You're not supposed to KNOW it's me! You're supposed to pretend that I'm just a beautiful stranger you can't take your eyes off of!

JAMES: [Blinks] Okay. Wanna dance?

They head to the middle of the floor.

The Director pushes a button on the tape player.

REMUS: Whoa! Whoa! Wait! Electronic devices so do not work in Hogwarts! It says so in Hogwarts, A History!

DIRECTOR: Yeah, well, guess what? I bought the Headmaster a giant bag of four-hundred lemon drops, and he really likes lemon drops. And he can specially enchant electronic devices to work within these walls. So there!

REMUS: Oh.

OC2: There you are, Remy! I bet you can't guess who I am despite the flashing sign above my head!

Remus groans.

Everyone gets into slow dance position.

I love you.

You love me.

We're a happy family.

With a great big hug-

DIRECTOR: [pushes the pause button] Sirius, don't even think about it.

SIRIUS: (Innocently) Think about what?

With a great big hug,

And a kiss from me to you-

JAMES AND LILY: Mwah!

Won't you say you love me too?

JAMES: I love you too!

LILY: But I never said I loved you in the first place.

JAMES: So?

LILY: So... you can't love me too if I don't love you first.

JAMES: Well, don't you? Come on, everybody loves me!

LILY: (Snootily) Well, if everybody jumped off the Astronomy Tower, I certainly wouldn't.

JAMES: That's just because you already have.

DIRECTOR: [Taps her foot] Can we got on with it? The Yule Ball rewrite people are anxiously waiting for the space.

LILY: Okay. Fine! I love you.

JAMES: Yay! I love you too, let's go shag!

Scene Twenty-Six: The Shag, Mysterious Secret Room, Very Late on New Year's Eve

The Mysterious Secret Room is decorated in all red and gold, including the toothbrushes and the gold-foil-wrapped condoms. James and Lily stand in the middle of the room, looking around.

LILY: So where is this?

JAMES: (Proudly) THIS is the bedroom of Godric Gryffindor himself.

LILY: (Incredulously) How the hell did YOU get into Godric Gryffindor's bedroom?

JAMES: [Puffs out his chest] I just happen to be his heir!

LILY: But your last name isn't Gryffindor.

JAMES: Uh, no, because that would be really obvious! Hey, you wanna see the bedpost?

LILY:.... The shag-count bedpost?

JAMES: Yeah. It actually takes up a whole wall!

They stand before the wall, which has long columns of notches.

LILY: Wow. It looks like Godric Gryffindor was a really good, chaste, honorable, respectful guy! I'm proud to have him as my house-founder!

JAMES: Well, it's not like there were many people in the world back then. Most of them were Muggles, anyway.

LILY: Oh. [squints at the wall] Hey, I think you're winning! You jerk!

JAMES: (Innocently) What? I can't help it if I'm irresistible!

LILY: Grrrrrrrrrr......

JAMES: Uh... I mean... this time it's totally different. Yeah. Totally, completely different. You're the only girl I've ever brought into this place, because I really love you and I know I can trust you. In fact, guess what? Only people I really love are even allowed to get through the door! Otherwise, they, uh, can't get through the door!

LILY: [Squeals] Awwwww! That's so sweet! I feel so special now!

The door shuts, and the camera switches to the hallway just outside, where the Director and Company are standing.

SIRIUS: (singsong) Le-mon, le-mon, lemony lemony lemonnnnnnnnn!

REMUS: Why do they call them lemons, anyway? They should call them-

SIRIUS: BANANAS!

Hm. Hope you liked, and please review. There are only two chapters to go!