To Live a Life of Ridicule
by Satosh1
Chapter 1: Suicide
A/N: I might be overstepping the boundaries of the PG-13 rating, so please inform me if this story is.
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Ritsuko's
life was but a sad one. Never having a father or a mother to look up
to, her life wasn't as easy as most people. As a child, she lived
with her grandmother and her two cats in a lone complex. She had
luckily been keeping in touch with her mother who sadly, unwillingly
devotes all of her time in Gehirn, a corporation researching and
creating an ambitious supercomputer built on managing and maintaining
a total govern. With literally nothing to do, she spends her time
always at home playing with her cats every so often as they were her
only friends. Ritsuko is introverted, quiet, and socially
unaccepted.
Her mother's reputation as a lead researcher of
Gehirn has been all and all a hated becoming, ever since the spread
of rumors concerning Gehirn's means of adding biological
incorporation into their research had spread throughout the world.
To transplant thought patterns or utilize any human component into
computers for control was by all means absurd, hazardous,
unconventional and inhumane to anyone in the right mind. Thinking of
such horrid technology is madness, even worse when in times as after
the second impact. Driven by that fact and only that, anyone who
ever comes near or sees the "child of Dr. Akagi" would shout out
words of hurt and insensitivity, calling her a conspirator of
inhumane acts, whether she was a child or not. This forever scarred
her judgment and self-worth, synonymously. Never being open towards
others or never having the opportunity, what had only driven her
towards a life of normalcy is her love and study of science.
Most
people would expect that she would despise her mother for burdening
her with the hateful reputation of the family name Akagi, but that
isn't so. She loved her mother, whether or not she hated the
seclusion and of not seeing her mother so often as others. Besides,
to hate the one who brought you to this world is quite disrespectful
and would violate every belief that Ritsuko had... but her feelings
towards her mother are as mixed as a stubborn hurricane. Caught
between the middle of hate or love, belief or indulgence, this has
and had always plagued her mind for many a years. Fortunately she
had made it all but nothing and believed it to be the best, or so
she'd like to think.
Nearly eighteen years old, Ritsuko took
up schooling at a local university majoring in science. Whatever
should seem to bother her, the immediate urge to pick up a book and
take up study would get the best of her for nearly hours at a time.
Her devotion for the study of science rivals her mother's devotion
for Gehirn's research. Other than the usual classes and routine,
it was quite mundane, even with the common ridicule.
One day
on the brightest and nicest of all days, she stumbled upon a sensible
bar in downtown Tokyo-2. Tired from her usual casual stroll around
the city, she decided to gather a drink. Having it been the first
time she ever entered the bar, she felt a sudden uncomforting as she
stepped within. Maybe it being the quick reactions of the insiders
and their gawks and whispers, or the colorful outlining of the walls
and ceilings around. Ritsuko approached the front table, took a seat
onto the rounded stool beneath her and then asked for a simple cup of
sake to the bartender, who simply wavered her request. To her
surprise, Ritsuko overheard her name a couple tables behind her.
Turning unnoticeably to not hinder their conversation, she noticed
some people whispering and cautiously listened in.
'...It's
Dr. Akagi's child, how disgusting...'
'...what a horrid
looking girl...'
'...I would never want to be her
mother...'
'...she should be ashamed to be in this
bar...'
'I'd wish she'd leave. Just to look at her
makes me cringe.'
'...yes, she's a disgrace to mankind...
she and her mother shouldn't have existed... God will give them
their due.'
A tear ran down her cheeks. To hear so much
ridicule and abhorrence from such people had affected her in the
worst of ways. An irrepressible urge to pour out all of her feelings
of pain and torment from her wounding past overwhelmed her. Feeling
a spur of embarrassment, shame, reluctance, insecurity, and so many
others, led her into a state of disorder and demoralization. To
ignore and disregard it, and keeping inside the hurt from so much
abuse has done her no good. Stumbling off of her seat and still of a
teary face, she ran out of the bar but not before she had bumped and
knocked over an unsuspecting man onto the tiled floorings.
She
ran, and ran, and ran yet again, covering her tear-filled eyes,
running towards just about anywhere. Her expression had turned from
her previous status to a sadness incomprehensible. It was obvious to
anyone that her feelings were hurt and torn in the most horrible of
manners. Nothing can suffice in her comfort.
Slowing and
tiring herself from the sprint, she uncovered her eyes to see that
she had distanced about a mile away from Tokyo-2 and stumbled into a
localized park. She silently and warily walked towards a bench and
sat, slightly whimpering and quivering. Like clutching a book, she
motioned her hands to act as if she was in her studies, but unable to
suppress the pain and disheartening of earlier, she cried
uncontrollably yet again, cradling her head under her arms. People
nearby noticed this and in revulsion... strayed away to another
location knowing that she was the daughter of the scientist everyone
despises. Strangers passing by her threw trash and leftovers onto
Ritsuko's purple hair with no dismay. Children threw rocks and
small glass shards onto Ritsuko's brittle, pale body for their own
amusement. Others would laugh and utter hateful wordings well enough
for Ritsuko to hear. All she could do was hold her head and cry.
There was no one to give her support. No one to comfort her. No one
to be held by. No one at all.
Slowly wiping her tears off
with her arms, she stood up with apparent gaping cuts, bleeding,
bruised, dirtied and defiled. She knew her life will never be as
peaceful as anyone else's. She knew that everyone will hate her
because of her mother's dreaded and wicked reputation. She knew
the inevitable.
Noticing something particularly appealing in
the distance, Ritsuko grinned. Walking towards it and still in a
mess, her expression became monotonous. On the grass was a standard
issue UN forces 9-millimeter handgun, too conveniently placed for
Ritsuko's notice. She hesitantly bent over to grab it and slowly
set the muzzle onto her head. Still with no other expression, she
whispered a few words.
'Goodbye, cruel world... goodbye
mother.'
Prepared and anxious to die, she set her finger
onto the trigger. Her thoughts, filled with the hatred of her mother
and her rotten reputation. Her feelings, turning into happiness with
the knowing relief that she wouldn't have to tolerate the ridicule
and revulsion of people for any longer. Her mind, immersed in the
anticipation of knowing if there is an actual God.
With
shocking anticipation in her face and violently trembling, she pulled
the trigger.
'Click...'
Much to her
surprise, she was still breathing. The bullet never fired through.
She pulled the trigger
again.
'Click...'
'Click...'
'Click...'
'Click...'
In
a pour of tears, clutching the pistol and pressing it hard against
her head, she pulled the trigger once more and with an outcry she
shouted;'Let me obtain absolute freedom!'
In
the slightest of a millisecond, she in her mind acknowledged a vision
of her mother's face and to that image, Ritsuko shed her last
tear.
The gun fired with a thunderous roar.
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dekiru...
