Title/Author: Secret games / by Gimli2003
Season/Spoilers: Any but 6 / None
Rating/Content Warnings: PG for language and some suggestive language
Category: Humor
Summary: The secret is out.
Author's Note: Short nothing I wrote while on a sugar high and avoiding school work. As per usual, I own nothing in this story, except the ideas. That is, until we kidnap RDA and make him sign us on as producers.
Secret games
By Gimli2003
Sam Carter heard grunting and swearing coming from Colonel O'Neill's office as she walked by. She WAS just going to speak to general Hammond about their upcoming mineral survey mission, but now her curiosity was piqued. She inched over to the door, pried it open an inch or two, and peeked inside to see-Holy Hannah!
Jack and Daniel both jumped in surprise, Jack getting hurt in the process, as Major Sam Carter threw open the door in astonishment, horror, and downright indignation. "Sir, how COULD you?! I mean...it's just...that you would...and with Daniel!?!"
"Sam, it's not what it looks like."
"Aww, damnit Daniel, cut it out, she saw us. And thank you, you hazardous klutz, you stabbed me in the eye with that thing."
"Well, it's not MY fault. YOU'RE the one who insisted we bring them out and use them."
"Enough, I'm not hearing this, no more!" She stuck her fingers in her ears. It didn't last two seconds before they were back out and flying all over the place in a storm of anger. "Honestly, I mean, WHY? You don't get enough of this stuff as it is?"
Jack and Daniel looked at each other, exchanging looks of puzzlement. "Carter, when was the last time we did anything like this?"
"Just last week, you and that whole mob of young men and women on PB7-309."
"Oh yeah, that." A slight smile slowly formed on Jacks face. "Good thing we didn't put THAT in our mission reports."
"Look, Sam, it was Jacks idea-"
"You geeky little traitor!"
"-he insisted, he wouldn't leave me alone. You know what he's like when he's bored."
"That's it." Jack crossed his arms in anger. "I'm never doing this with you again. I'll just do it with Teal'c instead."
Sams jaw dropped. "TEAL'C!?! He's in this little club of yours, too?!"
Daniel looked up from the candy bar he had fished out of Jacks desk. "Oh absolutely. Who do you think got Jack started in the first place?"
"Think about it Carter," Jack chimed in. "Whole lots of Jaffa, sitting around doing nothing when their 'gods' aren't making them fight. What are they gonna do for fun?"
She turned the idea over in her head. It DID make sense, from that perspective. "Yeah, you've got a point-no, no this is WRONG!"
"Why?" Both men asked at once.
"Sir, it goes against the UCMJ."
"The what?" Daniel gave them both a blank look.
"Uniform Code of Military Justice," Jack supplied.
"Ah," Daniel nodded in understanding, then furrowed his brow in thought. "Wait, I'm a civilian."
"It doesn't matter, Daniel" Sam sighed in frustration. Her anger was bleeding off, as was the shock, but the indignation was still there. "This is STILL looked down upon in the military. It's just not done; it impedes productivity AND tends to make a mess of things, as evidenced by your office, sir." Which was true: folders, papers, pens, and the remnants of a coffee mug littered the ground. O'Neill's favorite chair had been broken, too. "Also, your clothes." She indicated with a wave of her hand.
The two men looked down. She was right: they were not only sweaty and tired, but their shirts and pants were torn and mussed up as well. Daniel was the first to speak. "Well, Jack plays rough."
"It was intentional, for what you did to my mug."
"Damnit,
I told you Jack, it was an ACCIDENT! Besides, you yourself didn't
seem to want to stop to mourn it once we got started."
Jack
considered this. "Yeah, we were having too much fun." Both of
them smiled.
Sam rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I still can't believe it. Why didn't one of you at least invite me?"
Two heads snapped sideways to stare wide-eyed at the irate Major before them. "You...you mean...you would..." Jack stammered.
"We didn't think you'd want to," Daniel got out slowly.
"Oh course I'd want to. It's a good workout AND lots of fun." She noticed they were still staring at her. "What? You don't think I like playing with those?"
Jack was dumbstruck, a look of bewildered, goofy happiness plastered on his face. "You mean, you've got a lot of experience with these?" Daniel managed to get out.
"Are you kidding me? Tons! I practically sought out the boys of the neighborhood for it when I was growing up...and some of the girls too, now that I think about it."
"But...none recently?"
"No." Carter fidgeted awkwardly. "The people I do this with tend to...get hurt. Badly." Realizing that she had gone of the defensive, Sam shook herself out of her reverie. "But that's not the point. The point is the two of you did this without even bothering to see if I'd be interested."
Both the men looked sheepish. "Well," Daniel began after a long moment, "we weren't exactly sure you'd be interested."
"It sort of a guy thing," Jack said.
"Yeah, that and we didn't want anyone judging us."
Now it was her turn to feel sheepish. "You're right, sorry. I didn't think about it that way."
"Actually," Jack perked up, "I wouldn't worry about that. This happens on base all the time."
Both the scientists stared at Jack, then at each other, then at the colonel in amazement. "Seriously?" Sam couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"Oh yeah. In fact, there's talk of starting up a club. Officers would get special treatment..." he trailed off invitingly to Sam.
"I'll think about it, sir"
Jack looked disappointed, so he turned to Daniel. "YOU'LL at least join, right?"
"I dunno, Jack. I haven't exactly had a lot of experience at this. The first time I did this was in grad school, and that didn't work out so well. Then there was Abydos, where I did okay, but there wasn't much variety or challenge."
"C'mon, haven't I been teaching you well?"
Sams eyes flared. "Just how long have you been teaching him, sir?"
"Not long," Jack shot almost instantly. "Not long at all."
"Rriiight. Maybe you two should put those away and get started cleaning this up before General Hammond drops in."
"Good idea, Carter." Jack started doing just that, then stopped when Daniel put out a hand.
"Uh, that's MINE, Jack."
Jack looked down at it, grinning mischievously. "You sure?"
"Yes, mine has that little spot where I spilled coffee on it once. See?" He pointed. "Right there."
"Oh fine, have it your way." Jack let go of the toy and grabbed his out of Daniels hand.
"Well, I'll leave you two to get cleaning." Carter headed for the door. "Oh, and colonel-"
"Yes, yes," O'Neill cut her off, "next times we're fighting with Nerf swords, we'll be sure to invite you, too."
Fin
Like it? Of course you do, you sickos! Now, get rid of those sick thoughts you were harboring and submit NON-sick reviews, por favor.
