"Prince… wake up, already."

"waaa… whass goin' on?"

"It's past noon, Prince. You promised me breakfast. I wanna eat something."

"We've been fucking for the past two hours and all you wanna think about is food? What the fuck is wrong with you people who live at the shore?" Prince told his latest princess, one of the daughters of Triton, the Mattress King- the largest mattress salesmen in Fairy City, while raising himself up on his elbows. He awkwardly begins digging through his chest drawers looking for something. Finally he tells the youngest of Triton's daughter, "Here take this, and eat my ass," and then tosses a couple twenty-dollar bills at this red headed princess.

"What… I'm not a prostitute, Prince."

"Never said you were, but if you don't want people to think you are, think about changing your wardrobe. Seriously, you were wearing seashells for a shirt when I met you, what was I supposed to think?"

"Stop treating me like this, you said you loved me."

"And didn't you hear me say that for the past two hours I did love you, but your annoying need for anything other than my dick to keep you happy just made me realize that I fucking hate red heads. Way too fucking clingy."

"Prince… what are you trying to say… I love…"

"Look… don't make me call Wolf in here to get you out. I've heard he actually likes red heads though, something about them being spicy or something like that."

"Fuck you prince!" The red headed princess screamed at Prince while trying to find the rest of her clothes.

"We did that already, and tell Triton I'm gonna be down at his store later to get a new king-sized mattress. This one's had a dirty whore all over it, and now it smells like fish."

"Fuck you!"

Prince sits up in his bed smiling at how great and completely meaningless his life is. Slowly reaching for a cigarette, Prince stumbles across the glass ring from last night. He picks it up and holds it in his hand, his smile growing even wider across his face.

"Happy fucking birthday to me, she was fucking real," Prince whispers to himself, shaking his head, not wanting to believe his luck.

He leans over and presses the speed dial button on his top-of-the-line phone. After several rings a high-pitched voice answers on the other end.

"Hello, Twinkles Magic Powder. Sprinkle or snort it, I got it."

"Hey Twinkles, cut the pitch, you busy?"

"Prince, what're you doing calling me so early for?"

"What, I'd figure you'd have been up for hours by now,"

"I have, but when was the last time you were up before the sun was going down? What do you want anyway? I got some more of that stuff you had last night, and I'm getting some purple sprinkle later."

"I'll be by later for that, but are you busy today? I might need some of your wonderful product to convince someone to look something up for me."

"Well, if you need magic powder, what do you need me for?"

"Alright, I need to talk to the Goose-lady."

"Has all this dust finally fucked up your head? That crazy bitch doesn't fuck with me any more since she convinced Peter that he was gay. Last I heard, the fucking fruitcake was a damn ballerina. I've been thinking ever since if that was the reason he kept trying to put it in my butt," Twinkles voice began cracking.

Prince really never knew how much Twinkles loved Peter, but it really was apparent since he left her. It was either that or it was extremely hard for a midget female cross-dressing drug dealer to get laid.

"Ok, this isn't therapy, Twinkles. Can you help or not?"

"As long as you're paying, I'll get you face to face with the crazy bitch. Just don't expect me to like being around that two-faced whore. You know she probably fucked him before she told him to leave me."

"Right… I'll be there later with Wolf."

"Wolf… isn't he single?"

"Bye, Twinkles," Prince said as he hung up the phone. Now in a much happier mood than when he woke up. He finished his cigarette, putting the ashes out in the ashtray next to his father's picture and slowly got up to take a shower. Only he didn't make it, so while he was throwing up in his bathroom, Prince never got the chance to see the glass ring glowing.

To be continued…