Deep within the heart of Fairy City, high above the everyday hustle and bustle, there is an office which is the start of this story. If you looked within this office and looked around, it would resemble countless detective movies. An ashtray filled to the brim with half used cigarettes, a lone desk cluttered with information from cases past, a lone coat rack diligently holding up three trench coats and hats from the "How to be a Detective Learning Manuel", and on the dusty glass in the door is written the words- Three Pigs Detectives.
These three private eyes are busy trying to look busy in case a potential client comes walking through their doors. As much fame they have gained recently none of it has been rightly earned. They solved numerous cases, the old lady who attacked three blind men, the fraudulent bean salesman, the missing mirror, the apprehension of the convicted murderer, Wolf. They have become the main reason that crime has declined in Fairy City, and they owe all their success to the Goose Lady, who they have contacted to help in all their cases.
Lately though, one third of this detective force has become increasingly eager to prove himself, while the other two are content on letting the Goose Lady do the real work while they reap the rewards. Inside their office, Jay and Bobby, sit and watch TV while Ben continues to study books upon books of detective material. Throughout the office the only thing that is heard is a commercial blasting from the TV.
"Who gets you high without a care
It makes you fly in the sky. Bounce up and down just like a clown
Everyone knows its Sprinkle.
The best present yet to give or get
The kids will all want to try.
The hit of the day when you are ready to play
Everyone knows it's Sprinkle.
It Sprinkle, It's Sprinkle for fun the best of joys
It Sprinkle, It's Sprinkle the favorite of girls and boys."
"Yo, that shit fucks you up like Percocets, yo."
"Word. Sprinkle like a motherfucker, yo," Jay and Bobby said to each other and then proceeded to high five one another.
"Would the two of you turn that shit off. I'm trying to work over here," Ben screamed above the noise.
"Yeah, whatever. Not like we're ever goin to have to actually work around here. With the fuckin' Goose Lady here, we got this shit made, so cut it the fuck out and come over here and take some of this shit we got off that little fuckin' Jack bitch," Jay answered him.
"That shit's going to turn your fuckin brain into shit, dumbfuck."
"Oh, I'm the dumbfuck? You're the one over there studying how to do a job we're never goin to have to do. It looks to me, like you are the one who is the dumbfuck. Dumbfuck."
"Whatever."
Ben realized that the argument would continue for hours if he didn't just give in and move to another room. Which is exactly what he did. For the next three hours, he would continue to work on sharpening his increasingly growing detective abilities, while his brothers got high.
********
For now we turn our attention to the front steps of the three pigs office building. Next to the steps leading inside the building, a homeless man slept, seemingly with no cares in the world. If anyone would simply pay him the least of attention, they would learn of his plight.
Years ago, he was known as Richard Van Winkle, a very prominent business man who lived outside a developing Fairy City. Van Winkle was responsible for much of the businesses wanting to move to the City when they seen how much money he was making off of the citizens of the growing metropolis. He had a wonderful life, and then his wife died.
Distraught over her passing, Van Winkle turned to alcohol. His business soon fell apart and he lost his home. Now forced to live on the streets of Fairy City, Richard survived by pan handling and the kindness of others. He eventually met a man who is responsible for his current situation.
His name Richard never got, but one night while drinking in a bar, the man sat next to Richard and told him of a marvelous story of a small man who had in his care one of the largest fortunes in all the City. The man told him how this man would leave for days with his house unguarded and all one had to do was get in his house and take as much as they would need to start their life all over again.
To Richard this story was too good to be true. He had never been a criminal and never assumed he would become one. Yet, he knew that if he could simply get back on his feet he could get it all back. Richard decided to do it. Several nights later, he broke into the small man's house and quickly found a room filled with stacks of money and jewels and coins.
Richard began grabbing as much as he could, but in the corner of his eye he saw a bar in the corner of the room. Richard knew that the small man wouldn't return till morning and decided to make himself a drink. He pushed aside stacks of bills and proceeded to pour himself a drink. He finished a glass, and then another. For the next two hours, he couldn't help but to continue to drink till he fell onto his back and fell into the darkness.
The next morning, Richard was awoken by the small man who owned the house. Richard could barely move and was starting to believe that he would be spending the rest of his days in jail. The small man simply walked up to Richard and took a seat upon the bar stools, that Richard fell from. He looked down at Richard and quietly spoke to him.
"I assume that you've heard the stories of my fortune and came to claim them for yourself. I would also assume that in your haste that you became thirsty and drank of my liquor. Well, my foolish friend, I have learned in my life that no one is to be trusted around such easy gains, there is no such thing as security unless you are the only one to know the secrets. It is true I tend not to be home, but my house is well protected.
I searched the globe for a Sprinkle that make one thirsty. Upon finding the way to make just such a otherwise useless Sprinkle, I have had it created and covered every single thing within this room in it. So anyone, foolish enough to touch my fortune would have an uncontrollable urge to drink. Which brings us to my liquor. It is a very potent blend of some of the finest alcohol and extremely powerful sedative. A drop of which can leave a man asleep for close to a year. In large quantities, like it seems that you have consumed, the sedative begins to dissolve the frontal lobe in your brain. Effectively, you have just given yourself a chemical lobotomy."
The small man said no more and simply placed Richard inside his limousine and had him dropped off at within the city, where he has spent the last several years as nothing more than a speck of dirt to it's citizens.
Now we turn our attention back to the front steps of the three pigs office building. Next to the steps leading inside the building, a homeless man still slept, seemingly with no cares in the world. A small group of kids who were walking by began throwing garbage on the sleeping man and yelled at him "Get it together, bum." They then ran off never thinking about the sleeping man again.
********
Back inside the three pigs office building, the 'detectives' still proceed as before. Ben comes walking out of the adjacent room and is about to ask the others what they wanted to eat for dinner that night, when the door opened. All three pigs looked towards the door to see the most beautiful women they have ever laid eyes upon walk into their office.
Ben walked her over to the lone desk in the office room, while the other two pigs checked her out as she sat down. Both snickering and talking under their breath.
"Hi, ummmm, how can I help you?" Ben asked the woman as she turned her head away from the other two.
"I've heard that if you needed something… or someone… found in this City then you were the ones I should talk to," the woman said to him.
"Well yeah, I guess we are."
"Motherfucking, shit yeah we are," Jay said as he jumped up from the coach and walked over to the desk. "What can we do for a fine ass piece of bitch like you?"
"Jay!!!"
"You can start by walking away from me. I need you," the woman said pointing towards Ben, hoping she wouldn't get one of the other two started again. "To find a glass ring that I lost. It's a matter of life or death for whoever has it."
********
At that precious moment, Prince and Wolf remain sitting in Prince's car talking about everything and nothing. Inside Prince's coat pocket, the glass ring glowed again, unknowingly to either one of the men inside the car.
Author's Notes
Hey people, for those reading this story, I got some good news. My sister, who I started writing this for, won't let me stop. So eventually I'll be writing this the whole way through. I was going to wait till this weekend to update with a new chapter, but Thursday we find out about the baby and I'm anxious and couldn't sleep, so there will probably be another chapter up by Sunday. Oh, for those that didn't know, the Sprinkle song is actually the Slinky song, with a few minor adjustments. I've been slipping on the next chapter teasers only because I don't know where this story is going until I write. I do have the next two chapters planned and they are a talk between Wolf and Prince and then midget sex. Keep reviewing, and again thanks in advance.
p.s. - For those that don't know, here is some info on the greatest toy ever, the magic of the slinky. Thanks to slinky.org for the facts.
Around 250,000,000 Slinkys have been sold, which is enough for everyone in the US to have one.
Today's regular size metal Slinky contains 80 feet of coiled wire
Over 3,030,000 miles of wire (or 50,000 tons) have been used in the Slinky's 51 years of production (which would encircle the Earth 126 times).
Slinkys have not always been used as toys, they have also been included as components of pecan picking machines, drapery holders, antennas, light fixtures, window decorations, gutter protectors, pigeon repellers, bird house protectors, therapeutic devices, wave motion coils, table decorations, mail holders, store displays and various other uses.
The Slinky was invented in 1945 by Robert James. It was developed for the Navy as an anti-vibration device for ship instruments. However the Navy didn't use them so James searched for another use for his invention. He made it into a toy!
James designed and engineered the machines that turned the 80 feet of steel wire into a coil, completing the process in 9 - 11 seconds.
Slinkys were first made in Hollidaysburg, Pennsylvania. The original equipment is still there and that's where they're made!
The James's first demonstrated the Slinky at Gimbals' Department Store in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in the early 1940s. They were afraid that no one would buy the Slinky because it was so simple. They gave a friend a dollar so that he could buy one. But only 90 minutes after the demonstration, 400 Slinkys had been sold!
Richard James and his wife, Betty M. James were the creators of the Slinky and the co-founders of James Industries. Richard James died in 1974, but Mrs. James, 78, is still alive and the CEO of James Industries.
The metal Slinky is different from the original only in that the sharp ends are crimped for safety.
The Slinky was first sold for a dollar in 1945, today they go for around $1.99 and are available on every continent except Antarctica.
The word Slinky in Swedish translates to traespiral.
