Dear SiriousB1,
Help me, PLEASE! One of my employees has a set of jugs that seem to enlarge everyday. However, I am basically flat. The problem is that I like another one of my employees, but he sired…I mean, knows the big boobed employee well, but is also with me a lot (business in both cases). I think I want my male employee to suck my blood, but he's already sucked my female employee's! How can I "enhance" myself? May God and her majesty be with you.
Amen,
Flat Human Master
Dear Flat Human Master,
I think that you're a little bit concerned with your physical appearance. If you want this guy to suck your blood, you had better be able to get him to do so even if your butt ugly or you don't deserve it at all! Maybe, instead of getting implants, you could find some form of vampire breast cancer and somehow make this female employee drink it (add red food coloring or something). Then, the doctors will have no choice but to remover her tits. (Ow…) But, if you fail to find such a rare disease in a Petri dish, then you could call Brittany Spears and ask her where she went for hers. (If she tells you that she never got them, then talk to Pamela Anderson.).
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
Thank you to In Love for the following character and question.
Dear SiriousB1,
I am in love with a short blond haired female vampire. Any ideas on how to get her attention?
Signed,
In Love
P.S.
How do I also make sure she won't bite me if we go at it?
Dear In Love,
In love with a vampire, eh? Well, I personally don't have any first-hand experience in that field (despite the fact that I am desperately in love with Marius), but you could try offering her some blood from the hospital in heart-shaped bags. Then, move up to sharp, pointy weapons or really big guns! (Trust me, girls fall for these quickly!) Um, I don't particularly want to think about you (or anyone else) "going at it" with a vampire, but you could just ask her not to bite you. However, I do hear that being bitten by a vampire during sex makes it all the more enjoyable. If you want a lot of helps with that question, write to Buffy Summers, the slayer. God knows she's slept with Angel and Spike enough times….
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
Help me, PLEASE! One of my employees has a set of jugs that seem to enlarge everyday. However, I am basically flat. The problem is that I like another one of my employees, but he sired…I mean, knows the big boobed employee well, but is also with me a lot (business in both cases). I think I want my male employee to suck my blood, but he's already sucked my female employee's! How can I "enhance" myself? May God and her majesty be with you.
Amen,
Flat Human Master
Dear Flat Human Master,
I think that you're a little bit concerned with your physical appearance. If you want this guy to suck your blood, you had better be able to get him to do so even if your butt ugly or you don't deserve it at all! Maybe, instead of getting implants, you could find some form of vampire breast cancer and somehow make this female employee drink it (add red food coloring or something). Then, the doctors will have no choice but to remover her tits. (Ow…) But, if you fail to find such a rare disease in a Petri dish, then you could call Brittany Spears and ask her where she went for hers. (If she tells you that she never got them, then talk to Pamela Anderson.).
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
Thank you to In Love for the following character and question.
Dear SiriousB1,
I am in love with a short blond haired female vampire. Any ideas on how to get her attention?
Signed,
In Love
P.S.
How do I also make sure she won't bite me if we go at it?
Dear In Love,
In love with a vampire, eh? Well, I personally don't have any first-hand experience in that field (despite the fact that I am desperately in love with Marius), but you could try offering her some blood from the hospital in heart-shaped bags. Then, move up to sharp, pointy weapons or really big guns! (Trust me, girls fall for these quickly!) Um, I don't particularly want to think about you (or anyone else) "going at it" with a vampire, but you could just ask her not to bite you. However, I do hear that being bitten by a vampire during sex makes it all the more enjoyable. If you want a lot of helps with that question, write to Buffy Summers, the slayer. God knows she's slept with Angel and Spike enough times….
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
