Ohayou minna-san ! It's me again... First a huge thanks to my reviewers, you really gave me a lot of confidence in my ability to write ! I think I will be starting to develop a serious case of narcissism if you don't change your mind... Not that I'd like you to : ) Sorry for not updating earlier : my laptop really needed a virus scan, a firewall and Microsoft Office -I had to use the notepad to write my prologue , so when my father suggested to take it to his office in order to get those installed, I naturally seized the opportunity... without expecting that he would forget it there ! I sincerely hope I won't disappoint any of you...

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Thanks

Bluelotus - My first reviewer ever !!!! Thank you so much !!!! I didn't think that someone would really review my prologue... I know, I got carried away while writing it, I still have problems controlling myself, after all, this is my first try.

Feathers1 - Thanks !!! Sorry for the slow update ! Good luck for your own fic' ! Don't worry, inspiration always find a way to come back, no matter how hard it is and how long it takes !!! Concerning the post-scriptum... I actually have something to confess : I don't have a plot. I just improvise while I write, wishing that I wouldn't create a situation I can't handle 'going swirly-eyed'... I'm such a weirdo... :')

heheangel kisses - Sorry, sorry and sorry !!!! I could have updated at least a day earlier, but I didn't have my laptop... Thank you for finding it interesting ! Much luck for your writing !!

Rini-magic - Wow, thank you for all those compliments !!!! I feel like I REALLY don't deserve them at all trying to find a hole to hide in ! Is your fanfiction on hiatus ? If so, take heart, I'm sure you will find a way to finish it ! I don't really know so far if I will continue writing fanfiction, but I am determined to at least finish this one, even if there is only one person reading it : I don't want to leave anyone hanging, I've experienced that and didn't enjoy it. No offence to authors who lost their interest in writing, but I hope that won't ever happen to me.

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I've finished the first chapter : nothing can stop me when I am in a write-non-stop period, I guess... Well, that is as long as I have access to a computer or writing tools. It is now 1:16 in the morning and I couldn't sleep because I felt guilty for not updating quickly as I promised myself to... My apologies to those who like action : the chapters 1 to 4 are going to be descriptions of the characters life until their meeting. My chapters will all be approximatively around 1100 words in length ( excluding my interminable author notes 'sweat dropping' ), I don't know if this is short or long, it's just the type of chapter length I prefer reading. I know this one and the following 3 are most probably going to be boring for the readers, I am sorry for that, but I want to write freely and keep my ideas, so I won't change that. However, I will try to complete them quickly, but I want to see if anyone would still be interested after reading them.
So, hoping this would be more interesting than the prologue ( not really believing that since my writing style hasn't changed ). As I expected it to be ( unsure about my mind's wanderings ), this chapter will focus on Syaoran's life, inner point of view...

Disclaimer : Card Captor Sakura belongs to Clamp, Kodansha. I don't have any right over the original creation.

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Symbols used in order of appearance

Erratum. I realized that the floral language I know is actually the French one. Though most of the meanings are similar, some of them vary depending on the country or region. I hope this won't be too confusing '-';

Plants

- buttercup ( flowers : golden yellow ) - childhood spirit
- autumn crocus ( flowers : white, pink or purple ) - nostalgia
- marigold ( flowers : golden yellow ) - grief, sadness
- chestnut tree ( autumn foliage : light brown, gold ) - courage, deep melancholy

Note. July's birthstone ( Syaoran's ) is ruby, which means "carefree". Not corresponding much to his personality... At least I think so. So I chose to explain that...

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Wind... It dashed through the branches, freeing golden leaves, taking them along in its endless dance before carefully laying them down on the ground...

Leaves... As thousands of butterflies, wings set on fire by mischievous dryads, they accompanied the breeze's fanciful though whimsical movements, leaving the haven offered by outstretched boughs, swirling and soaring in the autumn sky before slowly descending after reaching the end of the path they chose to follow on their way to the heavens...

Since as long as I can remember, I've always had a particular liking for the days when autumn crocuses bloom. Don't ask me why, I wouldn't be able to answer. Maybe because of their meaning, "nostalgia"...Mother used to say that the falling leaves have deeply tinted my soul, seen through my marigold irises, giving it their sadness, and that the impish wind has forever messed my light brown hair, coloured by the profound melancholy of chestnut trees...

The shade of loneliness - Chapter I : Grieving over buttercups

I was barely four when father died. I don't have clear memories of him, but I recall the feeling of strong arms throwing me high towards the azure, cloudless sky, the sound of joyful laughter, the scent of wet humus, and the sight of gilt leaves carried by the wind... Sometimes, I would still have dreams of his burial, but as time passed they became less and less frequent, less and less precise - apart from one scene, the last one, which I think happened a month after the ceremony : I clearly see a tombstone, hear muffled, childish sobs, feel the banging of my small fists against the hard ground, until they grabbed tightly a fistful of pale green, frail stems and uprooted savagely a handful of what seemed to be weeds growing in the Li clan's private cemetery. Golden yellow petals then fell slowly to the soil, stained by my own tears... I now recognize these wildflowers as buttercups. If only I knew, they seemed a presage to the change that was going to happen in my life, my heart and my soul...

The week after his interment, the whole family was plunged into grief, I had no one to comfort me, to tell me the world wasn't crashing down, breaking into millions of pieces... When I was finally old enough to understand it, mine already did, too long ago. As time passed, mother became more and more distant, my sisters more and more annoying, my cousin Meiling more and more clingy, and all the others... more and more respectful. I, as the only son of the now late leader of the clan, has been naturally chosen as his successor, forced to train harder and harder in order to be worthy of this title, both physically, mentally, and most important, spiritually : the clan has always been renowned for its members' magical abilities. My training started immediately after the traditional period of mourning, I had the best teachers, but also the most intransigent ones. If there were still any joyful thoughts left on my mind, the daily exercises definitively threw them out.

I don't blame anyone for what happened, not that I can. I knew mother still cared for me and my sisters, but something broke deep down in her heart the day father left us down there, setting off for a journey to a place beyond our reach. I had to take my responsibilities. I know this sounds strange coming from a four year old, but I somehow understood that mother would soon get tired, for she had to be the leader until I was sixteen, officially authorized to claim my title. My guess was right, mother passed away the year I turned fourteen, from exhaustion, from having to make the wisest decisions for the clan's future, from fearing to fail the trust placed in her. She was a strong woman, one of the strongest, but fate took her only love from her and placed his burden upon her shoulders, and that finally got the better of her. Her duties as matriarch took all her time, and when, on seldom occasions, I got to see her, she seemed almost a stranger to me, someone I wouldn't even recognize as my cheerful, optimistic and loving mother if there wasn't those little things hinting at the past : the way she still wore the ring father gave her on their first anniversary, how silently she walked, a talent she had used to surprise me when father was still alive, laughing as I was startled by her sudden presence behind me, as if she appeared from nowhere... As my training was complete, the clan's elders decided to make an exception after a long debate considering the pros and cons, and I was accepted as leader a month later.

Father, when he left this world, took with him a part of me : my happiest memories, my colourful dreams, my most secret wishes, and my childlike, carefree nature.

As I pulled out those golden buttercups, I bid farewell to my far too short childhood...

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Here I am now, fifteen years old since two months, standing on my balcony in the middle of the night because I couldn't go back to sleep, I just had a strange dream. How puerile. But something about it kept nagging me, a weird feeling, a feeling that it wasn't just a dream... It wasn't special in any way, there was just a voice speaking to me, calling me... A voice I never heard before, neither masculine nor feminine, holding the wisdom of the ancient ones, but also the innocence of a newborn child. It asked me :

"Do you believe in the existence of hope ?"

What was so strange about that simple question ? The fact that I didn't know how to answer...

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Finished !!!! looking at the clock 1:48 ??????? -; Guess I'd better go to sleep before my parents notice... Will update this afternoon ! I hope that wasn't too boring to read ( hopeless, I know ). Same line again : please tell me what you thought of it !

Ja ne !

Lazuline Violet