Thank you to Sempai-san for your character and question.
Dear SiriousB1,
Some people have been confusing me with some other person that looks like me. He wears all red, including a large hat and has a similar style of shades that I wear. But he has black hair and I have blond, so there can't be a connection between us, could there? And I also hear that he's an awesome shooter...that could be a reason why people think I'm him, but he has two guns while I have one. I would like to meet him, but I don't know his name. Could you help me?
Signed,
Humanoid Typhoon
Dear Humanoid Typhoon,
Similarities are an interesting thing; this person obviously knows what he's doing. He may not be an impersonator, however. A twin cousin, perhaps? A jealous enemy? Or maybe he comes from another planet in an alternate universe? All of these ideas have popped into your head, I'm sure, but I shall now put them all down: his name is Alucard and he comes from England on the planet Earth (hm...I suppose that is a different planet, eh?). He is a vampire and hunts his own, therefore explaining the need of guns. If you really want to meet him (I daresay that some physical traits are quite probably the only thing you have in common), you can contact him via e-mail using the following address: AndersonSucksMonkeysNuts(at)MmmBlood.gun. Have a...fun meeting, and may God and Her Majesty be with you.
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
Thank you to Blackbladez for your question.
Dear SiriousB1,
I know some things about that crazy priest. You see, he tried to kill me a while back: he claimed I was some disgusting scum vampire or something. He claimed he was trying to cleanse the world of undead filth, and he found me because of the medical blood I got shipped to my home. The reason I had the blood shipped to my home was that I was prone to getting cut due to my occupation as a blacksmith. Now...I make all his knives...and I still get cut a lot...I don't know how he comes back, but if he kills anyone with the knives...I'm sorry but I need the money and I don't want to die. Do you have any way out of this situation?
Sincerely,
Blacbladez
Dear Blacbladez,
I see very little that I can do. If he doesn't seem to die...well, you're screwed then, aren't you? You could contact the CIA, change your name, appearance and move to a foreign country and never mention the situation again, but I have this nagging feeling that he just might find you again. I suppose you could write a letter of complaint to the Pope and see what the Vatican does about it. They might send this crazy priest away, explaining to him that knives can be bought for less at a company that manufactures them in mass quantities on machines instead of by hand; or, they might simply tell him that he's being a nuisance and such hostile acts will banish him to Hell. Speaking of Hell, I have a test to study for, please excuse me.
(twenty minutes later)
Maps make my head hurt. Now, where were we? Ah yes, this cakesniffing priest. I suppose you are also capable of hiring a very skillful and creative assassin who has discovered a way of killing those who just won't die. Where you'll find that guy, I don't know...yellow pages? Have fun with that...
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
Dear SiriousB1,
Some people have been confusing me with some other person that looks like me. He wears all red, including a large hat and has a similar style of shades that I wear. But he has black hair and I have blond, so there can't be a connection between us, could there? And I also hear that he's an awesome shooter...that could be a reason why people think I'm him, but he has two guns while I have one. I would like to meet him, but I don't know his name. Could you help me?
Signed,
Humanoid Typhoon
Dear Humanoid Typhoon,
Similarities are an interesting thing; this person obviously knows what he's doing. He may not be an impersonator, however. A twin cousin, perhaps? A jealous enemy? Or maybe he comes from another planet in an alternate universe? All of these ideas have popped into your head, I'm sure, but I shall now put them all down: his name is Alucard and he comes from England on the planet Earth (hm...I suppose that is a different planet, eh?). He is a vampire and hunts his own, therefore explaining the need of guns. If you really want to meet him (I daresay that some physical traits are quite probably the only thing you have in common), you can contact him via e-mail using the following address: AndersonSucksMonkeysNuts(at)MmmBlood.gun. Have a...fun meeting, and may God and Her Majesty be with you.
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
Thank you to Blackbladez for your question.
Dear SiriousB1,
I know some things about that crazy priest. You see, he tried to kill me a while back: he claimed I was some disgusting scum vampire or something. He claimed he was trying to cleanse the world of undead filth, and he found me because of the medical blood I got shipped to my home. The reason I had the blood shipped to my home was that I was prone to getting cut due to my occupation as a blacksmith. Now...I make all his knives...and I still get cut a lot...I don't know how he comes back, but if he kills anyone with the knives...I'm sorry but I need the money and I don't want to die. Do you have any way out of this situation?
Sincerely,
Blacbladez
Dear Blacbladez,
I see very little that I can do. If he doesn't seem to die...well, you're screwed then, aren't you? You could contact the CIA, change your name, appearance and move to a foreign country and never mention the situation again, but I have this nagging feeling that he just might find you again. I suppose you could write a letter of complaint to the Pope and see what the Vatican does about it. They might send this crazy priest away, explaining to him that knives can be bought for less at a company that manufactures them in mass quantities on machines instead of by hand; or, they might simply tell him that he's being a nuisance and such hostile acts will banish him to Hell. Speaking of Hell, I have a test to study for, please excuse me.
(twenty minutes later)
Maps make my head hurt. Now, where were we? Ah yes, this cakesniffing priest. I suppose you are also capable of hiring a very skillful and creative assassin who has discovered a way of killing those who just won't die. Where you'll find that guy, I don't know...yellow pages? Have fun with that...
Sincerely,
SiriousB1
