Chapter 49: Reasons To Live

Alaina walked happily up the stairs that led to the deck for the third time that day. Her father was going to be all right and she felt like she was walking on air.

It'd been four days since she and Jill had rushed up here faster than lighting to see if he would live. The boys and her had a major reunion though she did get slapped for being stupid. Which in their definition was leaving them behind.

She took in a deep breath and smiled, life was good.

That is, before she caught sight of Jill and Carrick standing at the other end of the deck in each other's arms. She stopped and stared bewildered at them for a few seconds, her smiled disappearing before continuing over to Captain's Sparrow's cabin to be with her father.

She felt betrayed in a sense, not by Jill because she didn't know anything that had gone on between her and Carrick.

But Carrick on the other hand she felt completely different about. How could he do that when he promised he would never hurt her like that? How could he throw it away when he knew how that made her feel like dying again?

"You alright luv?" Jack asked coming up to her and placing a hand on her shoulder. He had seen the look in her eyes when she saw them.

"I'm fine," She told him turning and giving him a halfhearted smile. He wouldn't understand how she felt, even if he tried.

"Look Alaina," He said in a low tone stopping her and turning her entire body around so she was facing him. "That lad," He said waving his hand back in the direction that Carrick was. "He doesn't know what the hell he's doing,"

"Yes he does," Alaina disagreed dejectedly. "He knows exactly what he's doing," And with that she turned away and walked into the cabin.

***

Will opened his eyes as he heard the door open to the cabin and saw Alaina come in. He frowned at the hurt that lingered in her eyes and wondered what happened.

"How are you feeling?" She asked sitting down on the chair next to the bed and propping her elbows on the mattress.

"Better," He told her honestly taking one of her hands and squeezing it. Alaina smiled and squeezed back.

"I'm glad,"

"But how are you?" He asked trying to sit up a little. Alaina ignored him for a few seconds and watched like a hawk as he slowly scooted himself up against the headboard.

"I'm better," she told him looking at the sheets. She was better now, her father was going to live, and so was she.

He didn't know about her attempt to kill herself, no one had told him. And Alaina didn't think anyone planned on it.

"Alaina," Will said in a lower tone. Alaina looked back at him and sighed.

"Its just," She began looking hard at his pale face remembering how he'd looked in the cave. "I'm having a rough time adjusting to how things are now,"

Will nodded; he'd noticed that.

"I just wish things could be different, that I could at least trust people like I used to." Alaina told him sadly wanting to get her mind onto happier things.

"Trusting someone is the hardest thing to do," He agreed knowing she was talking about Alex and probably Carrick as well. "Especially when someone misuses that trust."

Alaina nodded and took a deep breath. "When we get back home," She said changing the subject. "Are you going to stay for awhile?"

Will nodded, knowing that he could now face those demons that had been chasing him all this time.

"You will?" Alaina asked a smile growing on her face at the sincerity in his eyes.

"I promise," Will told her squeezing her hand and smiling at her. Alaina gave him a small hug.

"Good because the boys are driving me insane!"

Will just smiled, he couldn't laugh or he would because it hurt too much to.

"Are they really that bad?" He asked curiously. Alaina just gave him a look.

"Alaina may I ask you something?" Will wondered after a few silent moments. She nodded.

"Why didn't you kill Partuse when you had the chance?"

Alaina thought for only a few seconds before answering. "I know this is only probably going to make you think I'm crazy,"

"It runs in the family," He assured with a smile.

"When I was about to shove that sword into his throat I heard mom's voice in my head."

Will sat up a little bit.

"She didn't say not to do it, all she said was my name." Alaina paused and dwelled on those few seconds. "But it was like she was telling me not to, as though I'd regret it later."

Will's face was etched with one who was deep in thought.

"After Partuse stabbed me and I was lying on the floor," He began knowing Alaina needed to hear this to believe she wasn't insane. "I saw her, she came up to me and told me I had to get up. That our children needed me,"

Alaina's vision became blurry at his confession and she squeezed his hand tightly. Will only smiled and returned the small gesture of affection.

***

"James are you awake?" Jack asked sitting up and looking at the form of his brother next to him. They were in their father's bed on the Constance trying to sleep but Jack was restless.

"No I'm just sleeping with my eyes open," James said rolling over to face his twin.

"Can I ask you something?" Jack asked his brother as they both looked at one another through the moonlight coming through the windows.

James nodded.

"Right before Alaina woke up did you feel that?" He asked unsure of how to describe exactly what he felt.

James sat up and stared at his brother.

"You felt it to?"

Jack nodded. "Didn't it seem...I don't know exactly how to put it but like it was somehow familiar?"

James nodded and shoved the sheets off him. "It made it seem that everything was fine, that Alaina wasn't lying there on the verge of a mental breakdown,"

Jack's eyes grew wide as a thought occurred to him.

"Do you think it was her?" He asked his brother.

James's eyebrows narrowed in thought.

***

Elizabeth smiled to herself as she watched her boys discuss wither or not it had been she who was there that day.

They were exactly how she knew they would be; inquisitive, smart, adventuresome. The perfect combination of her and Will; with just the small twist of Jack unknowingly acting like Jack.

That had been non intentional, she didn't want her boys to be like the devilish rouge she knew, but fortunately the small things they had picked up were the qualities she had actually enjoyed; such as his sense of humor.

. Elizabeth slowly stood up from the chair which she'd been sitting on and walked over to the bed as the boys settled back under the covers.

"Goodnight boys," She whispered touching each of their faces. "I love you,"

***