WALTZ UP TO ME
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lower my coolness factor
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scheme: 3 a visionary or impractical project; cabal, conspiracy
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A/N: This is the first of many i.'schemes'. These are little side-stories of things that could happen in the Waltz universe but do not fit in or have anything to do with the actual storyline. Think of them as omakes, I suppose. They have no other purpose other than to amuse. Let me know if including these is a bad idea and I'll ponder on whether or not to continue them.
To know the basis of this scheme, see the footnote at the end.
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Change from Noin's POV to 3rd person
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The commander had returned.
The semester had shifted and Strategy & Intelligence was in the afternoons, after lunch. He would be in class today. Probably to glare and question everyone on their progress.
Progress? Oh, you mean that thing of which I have NONE?! Stupid Zechs, hogging my computer time, refusing to leave me alone for a damn minute. I don't want to be yelled at by Treize Khushrenada!
Being nervous suited me just fine as I walked alone around the pavilion, half-ran down the sidewalks, sprinting stupidly whenever I passed by the shadow of a tree.
Alright Noin, no worries. You won't be reprimanded. There is no way that you can fall anything lower than fifth in rank. Even if you get stomped upon by the Commander. Just because you don't even have anything written down yet doesn't mean anything. It's in your head. In your head. And you've been thinking about elegance and poise and---
There he was.
His back was resting against the dampened bark of a Maidenhair tree whose leaves has already gone to a vibrant yellow. He had one leg completely stretched out, his right bent at the knee, an arm resting atop it. I slowed my pace, managing to stay away from his side of the sidewalk when I realized that I was running out sun coated sidewalk space. It was either sprint across the shadows in the presence of the man I'd been dreading or manage to sneak my way across without him noticing me. Darn. Either way was going to cause me to lower my coolness factor. Double darn. And what if while sprinting he noticed me and called me out? Triple darn.
I took a breath and slipped behind one of the silver dogwoods to assess the battle ground. I drew up a mental map of my surroundings and concentrated on figuring out escape routes.
Alright, Khushrenada is currently in the southwestern portion of sector one. If I run towards the Pagoda tree in textile four, run across the shaded region into the second sector, proceed eastward until sector three and into the shade of the sixth sector, I think I can make it without him seeing me and without stepping into the sun...Hmm.
Now if she could tell if he were looking in the opposite direction she was currently in.
Come on, come on. Turn. Turn. Yes!
She ran for the Pagoda tree, dashed north, stopped, took a breath, crossed herself, preparing to make her second move towards the shade directly in front of Treize. She took some precautionary glances behind her and to the sides and then took off. She'd barely made a move from behind the Pagoda when a semi-amused voice called out to her demandingly, "Cadet Noin, what may I inquire as to what sort of questionable behavior you are currently involved in?"
Ah, fuck. Stupid critical situation analysis, you have failed me again.
Forcing her shoulders to straighten out, she smoother nervous hands across the front of her uniform. No need to panic. There is no need to panic. Just because it's Treize Khushrenada and he looks pissed. Alright. No. Need. To. PANIC.
As she approached him, Treize's demeanor lost the traces of relaxation and amusement he had so clearly been exhibiting only moments before. Noin's long hair had lost its hairtie again as nearly waist-length mass was busy floating around her shoulders, stray strands flitting annoyingly across her forehead. Her boots, which were usually perfectly polished were scuffed now, the third button of her left sleeve cuff missing.
Her right hand came up to a rigid salute as she addressed him. "Good afternoon, Lieutenant General Treize, sir. Cadet Noin, number---"
His lips pressed into a firm line as he waved aside her convoluted introduction. "There exists no need for the long winded introduction. I am well aware of your identity, Cadet. Now tell me, what exactly were you attempting to do just now?"
Shit. Fuck. Damn. Darn. What? What, what? Do I...what do I say?!
"Well, you see, sir. I was...uh, conducting a practice critical combat situation analysis...in which, the enemy was...sunlight. Yeah. And then so I started by drawing a mental map, which then I split into six regions and then there was some sun, which I didn't go in, but then I fell behind the troop and I could have died, except there was a metaphoric, mathematical, philosophically imposing rule that had previously been established where, No Child Left Behind, sir!"
He glared hard at her then, a unnerving couple of seconds where she contemplated several ways to avoid having to answer more questions such as fainting, consciously willing herself to mentally break a bone or lapse into some sort of three hour coma.
Apparently, she had no sort of luck or will power since right before she was positively certain her arm was about to pop out of its socket he opened his mouth.
"You are a dreadful prevaricator, Cadet."
"Excuse me, sir?"
He shook his head, face finally looking away from her. Relegated to staring at his profile while he remained silent, she shifted uncomfortably.
"You will be straightforward with me, understood, Cadet?"
She nodded quickly, swallowing the growing feeling of fear at the back of her throat.
Ah shit. Shit, shit, shit. Here comes the 30-hour sleep deprivation. Oh, man. I knew I should've stayed in the dorm and kicked Zechs out.
He spoke without turning back to her. "Why were you avoiding me?"
Are you kidding me? What am I supposed to say? Alright, he didn't say anything about white lies. Those aren't really lies. They're good lies. White. White equals good. Crap, crap. I sound like a Ku Klux Klan member or something. Crap. Think, Noin. THINK.
"Alright, sir." She took a small breath. "I was not particularly avoiding you, it's just that I have this thing about not going in the sun before two in the afternoon. Since it is currently before that time, I was attempting to avoid the sun, not your detection, Your Excellency."
He glared at her again. "'Your Excellency'?"
She tried for a small smile and failed while her mental self punched holes into her brain. She dropped her gaze, trying to concentrate on something other than his face. His shoulder? No, too far off center. His hair? Too high. Ah, his collarbone? Wait. Collarbone?
She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Treize Khushrenada. Not only was he currently resting his highly valued self against dirt and fallen leaves, but the top buttons of his formal uniform were undone, a large expanse of skin peeking through the opening.
That's...that's not right. Why...doesn't he...redo them?
Noin the Perfectionist's fingers itched. She wanted to bring her hands forward, wanted to unclasp them and deftly slip the buttons back into their cloth holes. Buttons were made to be buttons. That's what they were there for. For buttoning. Hence the name; buttons. What was going on?
First the stupid trees are screwing me over, then General Treize's sudden appearance...what's next? Zechs and Trowa resuming with the mooning? Her left eyebrow twitched with the thought.
But the buttons...
Dammit. This was bad. Very, very bad. I mean, I know I'm stupid, but I'm not usually this idiotic. My hands wanted to button those buttons. Sounds pretty stupid, right? Better get out of here fast, Noin.
But he was just sitting there. Without dismissing me. Maybe I should speak up and ask him if I can leave.
He was smiling to himself. A very slight upturn of his lips and maybe that meant I had amused him just enough to allow some leniency for my retardation? Please dear god.
And suddenly as I was standing there, readying myself to ask for permission to leave my hands forced my body down and there they were, fingertips extended, both poised to button up the offensive open throat.
WHAT THE FUCK! AH! You stupid bastards! Shit, shit! What about self control, goddammit! Mother of GOD! I AM SO DEAD!
The second I managed to prod my peanut brain into obeying and I began to pull back, his hands were suddenly grasping my wrists and I could see the swell of his full lips as he sneered.
"Can you not stand the lack of decorum of my disturbed uniform or is it that the look of my skin offends you, Cadet Noin?"
She stared open mouthed at him. Unable to say anything that didn't come out in a stutter.
"W---we---wel---well, a-actually, I was, um...and then...so...Ah, shit."
Her hair fell forward, flooding over his hands and brushing softly against the exposed skin of his throat. "Tell me, Cadet. Use your situation analysis skills and devise a reasoning for why I disturb you so. Answer correctly and I will release you."
She answered without thinking properly. "I like you."
FUCK!
He smiled and promptly released her. "A fair answer."
And I fell on my ass.
Did I just tell Treize Khushrenada that I liked him? Did I just...Shit. Shit. Shit. This is so worse that the time I replaced Zechs' socks with flower print pantyhose.
The end of lunch bell rang and I was saved from having to stay there any longer.
"Return to your classes, Cadet," he said tiredly. "I will not be in class today."
"But I thought you were going to be there, Sir," I sputtered idiotically.
He had reverted to staring into the distance again. "It would be pointless. I am leaving Lake Victoria this evening. Regardless, send my regards to Cadet Merquise."
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Yes, Sir." And turned to make a run for my next class.
"Cadet."
I paused. "Yes, General?"
"You are very gullible. I suggest you take Captain Katigiri's Language Manipulation course."
Man, I knew it. There just had to be some sort of ruse. Argh. Why am I a moron? Why? And why did it have to be my hero, Treize Khushrenada? Sigh.
I answered in the affirmative and ran.
Wow. What a fucking day.
I lost my comp time, failed to sneak away from the Commander and got completely one-upped by another man.
Definitely a triple darn.
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Reason for this? I like the 9x13/913/13x9/139 pairing. And if I didn't have other plans for Noin and Treize, I would have considered pairing them up.
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I would like to apologize PROFUSELY! I know it's been a rather long while since I've posted anything and I do appreciate all of you who've commented and encouraged me to write. School's unbelievably tough this year and I barely have free time. And then there's my whole writer's block thing...
TerraKhushrenada: I wrote this little AU side-story with you in mind, sort of. Maybe it's just that you reminded me of how cool I wanted Waltz!Treize to be...
Mai: Trust me when I say that I had definitely not intended for THIS much profanity in Waltz. Although I myself possess a dirty mouth and write with the use of foul language aplenty, I didn't want that to be an aspect of this Noin's personality...but it just sort of happened. I think it's because she's becoming even more stressed and...well, I think you'll get the point once I manage to move ahead in the story. Anyway...
Once again, for Crary, who loves this fic and myself.
And expect the actual FIFTH chapter to be posted either by the end of September or early October. And excuse any errors in this chapter as I was in a hurry to post it up and didn't properly edit. --; Oh, and the stupidity level is once again high. Sorry. This isn't amazingly good, but amusing.
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Does anybody know why the hell doesn't allow asterisks, spacing and brackets? I was two aggravated moments away from not posting this up because they ruined my formatting.
