I promised a week. Damn I'm good. Here it is!
I have an insanity warning stamped on this, just in case.
Chapter 9
"You guys want to WHAT??"
Omi stared at her companions in disbelief. Yohji was in front of them, Ran behind him to the left, Ken to his right. Aya and Sakura were seated in a far distance, chatting pleasantly, but still somewhat interested in the conversation. Manx was nearby as well, leaning over a counter.
"Omi, yell louder and the fanboys outside will know that we're not actually closed…"
"B-b-b-but… but!!"
"Omi! We were just thinking…"
"No!! I'm not doing it!!"
"You have to admit, Omi. It's a very good idea."
"I don't WANT to have my insides checked just to see if they're female!!"
"But Omi…"
"Why does it even matter?!"
"I don't know," Ken admitted. "Ask them. They came up with the idea."
When Omi gave them pointed looks, Yohji finally responded. "Well, we have to see if you're equipped like a girl. It might turn out that you look like a girl and inside, you still have… Well… Guy parts."
Omi's brain refused to digest this. She had thought this was going to be a normal Weiss meeting. It was three days after that mission, and Manx had come over to pick up the data that they had retrieved. She and Manx had been talking about possible plans, and the data that Omi had been able to decrypt thus far.
It was Yohji who had been watching Omi intently, and when Ken had made an offhand comment that turning Omi into a girl hadn't affected the boy/girl's astounding mind, he had suddenly piped up and told Manx that they weren't sure how much the red formula had worked on changing Omi.
The two of them had talked quietly about it, then announced it to everyone else a little later, when Sakura and Aya were there as well.
"I don't want to do it," Omi wailed.
"Drop it, Omi. The act's not working this time."
Omi pouted, wiping the (fake) tears away. "I still don't see why, though!"
"Omi…"
It was Manx who had spoken again. Omi closed her eyes before gazing at the woman intently. Manx shook her head. "Yohji had a very good point."
Ken gasped, "Manx admitted Yohji had a point!"
"Shut up, Hidaka."
Manx rolled her eyes as she continued, "The results of your tests will help us in the research. We may need to know how far the formula went in regards to effects. There is a difference if it only altered your outer appearance, or if it also affected your internal organs as well."
Omi took deep breaths. Now that it was put that way, she knew Manx was right. If they knew more about the formula, they had a better chance of finding a cure for it. That didn't mean she actually liked the idea though. "O-okay. Fine then." she said slowly. "I'll… I'll go."
Manx smiled. "I knew you would understand Omi."
"O-of course. But, it's just… Just a check-up, right? Any old regular check up. Maybe an x-ray too, and some other minor tests…"
She trailed off when she saw the looks on Yohji's and Manx's faces. She glanced at Ken, who looked clueless, and Ran who remained stoic (Omi wondered why she even bothered checking Ran's reaction). Sakura and Aya were also exchanging glances, though subtly.
"…… Manx. Yohji-kun. What are you two thinking?"
"Well, Omi," Yohji said, running a hand through his long blonde locks. "At first, I was thinking the same as you, but Manx has some other ideas."
Manx nodded, "Sometimes, you cannot tell a female from a male from a mere x-ray. Even more so if it was just a physical examination. There is no way for the doctor to see if you have female organs."
"So, what?" Ken put in. "You mean Omi needs a specialist?"
Omi actually laughed. "A specialist? What doctor specializes in checking a girl's insi-…" She trailed off again, her eyes widening in horror. "No…"
"Hm, I've never been to one of those before. Have you, Sakura-chan?"
"I think your first trip there is supposed to be when you're eighteen, Aya-chan."
"Perfect! Omi just turned eighteen."
"Omi-nii! Tell us how it goes, okay?"
"Hai, Omi-kun!"
"Find out for yourselves then!! I'm not going!!"
"Omi, you already said you would!"
"THERE IS NO WAY I'M GOING TO A GYNECOLOGIST!!"
-----*-----
"Oh yes. This is my little sister, Kasumi. She'd turned eighteen a couple of months ago, so we were hoping that…"
The clinic looked like any other clinic. There were no other patients, so Yohji had just gone straight to the lady at the desk. She was a receptionist and nurse apparently, based on her attire.
Omi was attached to Yohji's arm, (fake) tears filling her eyes as she glanced around the small white room nervously. "Yohji-kun… Don't let them make me go in there…" she cried.
"Yohji-kun?" The nurse raised an eyebrow.
"She's adopted," Yohji swiftly saved. "Very recently. Now, now, Kasumi-chan. I keep telling you, it's Oniisan now."
Omi only pouted, more (fake) tears streaming down her tears. She wanted Manx. Or Ken. No, wait! Not Ken! Ken would make things worse! Omi found herself blushing a little amidst the (fake) tears. Thankfully, Yohji didn't notice.
Yohji had been the one nominated to bring her because Manx couldn't do it (other work), Ran outright refused (as usual), Aya and Sakura were definitely out (too curious), and Omi refused Ken (… never mind). Besides, she and Yohji looked the most alike (it was the hair), so they figured it was more believable that they'd be siblings.
Apparently, they didn't need the story after all, Omi thought bitterly, looking up at her 'adopted brother'… who was now flirting with the nurse. Wonderful.
Omi tugged at his arm impatiently and the nurse cooed at her.
"Huh? Oh yes, Kasumi-chan! She's very nervous you see…"
"Well, that's fine! We have a normal physical exam first. And would you mind answering a few questions, Kasumi-san?"
"N-no… I guess not…" Omi murmured.
"I told her over and over it would be fine!" Yohji rubbed her shoulders, with a charming smile to the nurse. "I'll be waiting right out here during the exam."
"The physical can be done now, it seems. Manabe-sensei will attend to you later. He likes to perform only the latter two of the examinations."
There was a suddenly loud yell from inside, and sounds of things breaking. A female voice was screaming incoherently amidst the sound of destruction.
"And he's attending to another patient inside."
Omi and Yohji seemed uneasy, and it had taken a bit before they were reassured again.
Omi realized that what the nurse had said was true enough. The initial check up was normal. Height and weight, temperature, blood pressure. Unfortunately, the questions were a bit of a problem.
"How's your family's medical history?"
Omi shot Yohji a panicked look. What was she supposed to say? I'm sorry, my whole family is dead since they were corrupt and I had to kill them. Very nice on the medical record.
"I… I don't know all that much. Adopted."
"Oh yes, of course, I'm sorry. How about your own medical record?"
"I…" I don't have one. I took it out of all the files myself. "Pretty… clean, I could say."
"No previous illnesses? Diseases?"
It's a new body after all. "No. Nothing noteworthy."
"I see. Sex?"
Omi blinked. "Female. Can't you see?"
The nurse glanced up at her from the scale. "Have you ever had sex?"
Yohji suddenly coughed from the other side of the room, obviously hiding his laughter. Omi had turned red from the roots of her hair. "Wh-what??"
"Have you…"
"N-no! I understand! I…" Omi was feeling faint. Yohji seemed to be eagerly awaiting the answer, a smirk on his face. She normally wouldn't care about her answer, but knowing he was probably going to tease her about it.
"I'm not answering that with Yo-… Oniisan listening!!"
"I'm sorry. But it's for the record. If something's wrong, we'll know. You have to tell us."
Omi finally gave up. "No s-s… s-…sex. N-not recently." was the safest answer she could come up with. She glared at the snort from Yohji's direction, followed by a cough. One that sounded suspiciously like a badly disguised "morelikenever!"
There were a few more questions about bleeding, discomfort, pain, and itchiness. Omi made up a few more answers until she was distracted by a loud yell. A beautiful blonde girl in a school uniform stomped past them. At least, she would've been pretty if it weren't for the absolutely terrifying look on her face.
"It… appears the previous patient has finished." The nurse laughed nervously as she got up, finished with tending to Omi. "You shall need to prepare, Kasumi-san."
Another nurse came by. She was carrying an odd instrument that looked like a cross between a clamp, a bottle opener, and a metallic duck bill. At least, in Omi's eyes.
"What's… that?" Omi asked bewildered.
"Hm? Oh. That's the speculum."
Yohji raised an eyebrow, giving Omi a look that said, 'You don't want to know.' Omi rolled her eyes and heeded not the warning. "The… what?"
"The speculum. Well… Manabe-sensei will need to check inside your vagina for infection or signs of problems."
Omi's eyes widened.
"So, he will use the speculum to keep the walls of the vagina open, so that he can see inside to check for infections or discharge."
[thud!]
The nurse looked down at Omi bewildered. Yohji had an amused look on his face, chortling to himself, though he reminded himself that he should check on Omi soon.
For, at precisely, 11:37 AM on that bizarre day, Tsukiyono Omi, a.k.a. Miyo (or Kudou) Kasumi, had fainted in the gynecology clinic waiting room before a physical exam.
-----*-----
Ken was staring in horror.
As soon as the physical exam at the gynecologist was over, Omi had stomped straight up to his room, helped herself to the bed, and started bitching.
The bitching part wasn't the problem, really. Ken can handle Omi bitching. It's happened many, many times before, that Omi would appear in his room to rant. Ken was used to it. In fact, normally, he would've welcomed it, especially after the day or two that Omi had started ignoring him. He'd catch Omi looking every now and then, but when he'd try to talk to her, she'd just suddenly have something else to do again.
Yes, the bitching was not a problem. The problem was Omi's chosen topic to bitch about..
"And he TOUCHED me! On my CHEST!! I swear, Ken-kun!! He was touching me more than he was supposed to!! And apparently I have to touch myself there every month!!"
Ken had his hand over his nose and mouth, groaning. "Omi… I… I don't need to know the details."
"Deal with it, Ken-kun!! I went through this!! You never have to deal with a pelvic exam!! I happen to be the one guy in the world that ever did!!"
"W-well, you're not really a guy, now…"
"I'M A GUY, DAMNIT!!" Omi screamed and Ken knew that once Omi started swearing, it was no use arguing. He was trying not to listen as Omi continued from the breast exam to…
Omi wailed a bit, "He… He had to… He put his fingers inside!! Ken-kun, I thought I was going to die!! He was giggling while he was doing it!!"
Ken knew he was going to die if this kept up.
"A-a-a-and he even asked if I wanted a rectal exam!! He was asking me this most gleefully as if he would be most fascinated to do the exam on me!!"
Gods, make him stop!! Ken pleaded to anyone that was listening.
"And when I said no, he just LEFT me there, still covered in LUBRICANT in the most uncomfortable places!!"
That did it. At precisely 6:41 PM, that bizarre day, Hidaka Ken passed out in his own room, while listening to Omi complain about her gynecology exam.
"I even still had my legs up and everything! Apparently, he just plain forgot to… Ken-kun? … Ken-kun, are you listening??"
Omi finally looked down and put her hands on her hips when she found Ken to be unconscious.
It had taken quite a bit, but finally Ken was awake again. He pleaded with Omi to stop talking about the check-up and after a lot of convincing (and some attempts at pouting on both sides), Omi sighed and agreed when Ken told her that he didn't want to die that way.
"How were the results though?" Ken dared to ask.
Omi sniffed. "Apparently I am completely girl. Physically at least. Or else I think the doctor might've fainted after checking me."
"Oh… Is that good or bad?"
"Well, good. I didn't like that doctor all too much. I think he was a pervert in disguise as a gynecologist."
"Omi, you know I mean the results, right?"
Omi harrumphed. "Definitely bad!! I don't like being a girl, Ken-kun!"
"I… I don't think it's that bad, is it?"
"Ken-kun, I just had to undergo a PELVIC EXAM!"
"Well, yeah. But otherwise?"
"I just don't like it! It's uncomfortable for one."
"I thought you said that skirts were okay once you got used to them."
Omi stared at him. Then she let out another sigh and grabbed at her own chest. "These are hard for me to get used to, you see."
Ken bit his lip and reached up to plug his nose all over again. "I see."
"Perv…" Omi mumbled, leaning back down on the pillow. "You're just like all of them."
"Well, you grabbed yourself!" Ken griped. "Omi, you're doing the same thing as when you were lecturing me on the wonders of pelvic exams!! You're forgetting I'm a guy!!"
"I was a guy too! And I didn't stare at every girl who had big breasts!"
"Omi, you didn't stare at any girl! You walked into Yohji's room when that Neu was there and you didn't even flinch!"
"It's not like they were doing anything."
"Yeah, well, you were making me worry that you were gay."
Omi's eyes almost fell out of her head.
"WHAAAAAAT???"
"Well, I do remember that weird net-stringy thing you were wearing for a while."
"I wasn't the only guy wearing a shirt like that! I can name five in my school! All straight as a ruler!!"
"You have an earring in your left ear! You know that means you're gay, right??"
"I had that earring since I could remember! I just never took it out and now that you told me what it signifies, I'm starting to think of doing it now!"
"But you also-…"
"Ken-kun!! I am not gay!! And if I was I would've told you!! I can't believe you even thought I was!!"
"No guy can be that nonchalant about girls! Especially naked ones! I can't see how you can even change clothes now without getting a nosebleed!"
"I do it without staring at myself, thank you very much. I'm sure you'd probably stare at yourself and all that, but I like being polite."
Ken groaned, knowing that it was a lost cause. If Omi thought she (Or he should be the pronoun in this case, he thought. Since I mean the good old GUY Omi) was straight, then she had to be. It was all good and well for him, actually, since Ken didn't know what he'd do if he found out Omi actually liked guys.
He decided to return to the earlier topic, glancing at Omi's chest.
"Why are they so… big… anyway?"
Omi raised an eyebrow. "You're really tactless, you know that?"
"I know you. And you're a guy. I'd never ask a real girl that."
There was a sigh from the female-slash-male. She shook her head then admitted. "I think I have an idea why."
"Which is?"
"………. Remember…" Omi paused. "Remember when we first found out what happened to me? W-when I fainted again?"
"… I… I think so?"
"Do you remember why?"
Ken pondered on this for some time. "We were saying that you had a high scream. And I think you figured it out. And then you reached and……." He trailed off, staring at Omi, disbelievingly.
She nodded. "I was thinking that it… translated… um…" she blushed a little, but was grinning.
"Y-you never told me this! What was the… How b-…"
She looked around, as if checking to see if anyone was listening. She sat up, then leaned in to whisper what Ken wanted in his ear, apparently to make sure noone could hear.
Ken's jaw dropped. "You're joking!"
Omi shook her head, still blushing and grinning. "Nope."
"Wow! Omi! I… never thought… Congratulations!"
"So, you know why I passed out then." Omi smirked, laying back down on the bed.
"I think I would too!"
"Really now?"
Ken smirked. "Yes I would."
Omi stared blankly at him, then burst out laughing. She sat up, wiping at tears. "Ken-kun, I never expected to be comparing sizes with you."
"But, Omi… You do know there's a difference when you measure from the top or from the bottom right?"
"Yes I do know, Ken-kun. I measured both ways."
"So which measurement did you give me?"
"Does it matter?"
"You might just be trying to impress me."
"Why would I have to impress you?"
"I don't know. We guys have this tendency to want to amaze other guys with their sizes."
Omi gleefully clapped her hands. "So I am still a guy then?"
"…… I don't know Omi, you're not equipped like one anymore."
"Ouch. Ken-kun, that stung."
"Heh." Ken chuckled. "This is weird, you know that, right? We're having this talk, and you're a girl. We should start talking about girl-watching some day, when you're back to normal again."
"……… Yeah…" Omi said softly.
Ken watched as Omi plopped back down again. She was doing that a lot, getting up and laying down again. He didn't say anything though, letting her do what she wanted. It had always been like that..
After some silence, Omi spoke again. With a sigh, she ran her hands through her hair.
"Ken-kun… I… I'm really worried. This girl thing is getting worse."
"How so?"
"… Do you really want to know why?"
"…… All right, why?"
Omi scowled. "Today, while I was waiting for the nurse to arrive to give me my initial physical at the clinic, I was just sitting there while he was flirting with the receptionist. Then he turned around and I stared. And do you know what was the thought that popped into my mind?"
"No. What?"
She was quiet, twitching uncontrollably before she said, " 'Oh my god! I never realized Yohji-kun was so hot!' "
Ken very nearly fell out of the bed.
"WHAAT??"
"See? See??" Omi threw up her hands, exasperated. "It's this girl body! I think I'm getting hormones or something! I'm starting to realize why there are so many girls around the shop!"
Ken wasn't sure if he should ask, but he did anyway, "Why?"
Omi stared at him as if it were obvious. "Ken-kun!! Do you have any idea how good-looking we are?? Yohji-kun's had it right the whole time!! We're girl magnets!!"
Ken was blank and confused, "We?"
"Yes, we! Before Manx arrived this morning, I was on a shift with Aya-kun and I looked at him and I thought, 'Wow! It's no wonder that so many girls like him!!"
Ken continued with the incredulous look on his face, staring in silence for a full three and a half minutes. When his mouth opened again, Omi was appalled to hear laughter.
"Hidaka Ken!! How dare you laugh at me when I'm telling you my troubles!!"
"B-but…" laugh. "I-I…" wheeze. "can't help!" gasp. "it!!"
Omi walloped him with a stray pillow. "Ken-kun!! I'm turning into one of our own fangirls!! This is serious! It's supposed to be disturbing!!"
"S-sorry! I'll calm down now. Are you sure it's like one of our fangirls?"
"YES! I told you about how everyone looks to me now, right?? I can't see how Aya-chan and Sakura-chan can stand it!"
"Maybe they're used to it?"
"And did you know, while I was cleaning my room, I found a picture of myself before that mission, and when I saw it, I actually thought, 'So that's why all those girls were hanging on to me! I didn't realize I was so cute…' ………… KEN-KUN STOP LAUGHING!!"
Ken was already rolling around on the bed, clutching his sides. Omi had to grab a pillow and beat him several times with it before he sobered up enough to speak.
"A-are you sure you're not just being n-narcissistic?"
"Ken-kun, narcissism has nothing to do with it! I didn't think that about myself before, right?!"
"Well, yeah…" Ken managed to sit up again, looking thoughtful. "Hey, what about me?"
Omi twitched. "You?"
"Yeah! What insane thought enters your head when you look at me?"
"……… um…"
"Nothing? Ow, that's a stab in the ego, 'mittchi!"
Omi was still quiet. Ken was surprised as he noticed that her cheeks were suddenly tingeing with red.
"Now I know it's not nothing. C'mon, Omi! Spit it out!"
She fervently shook her head, turning even redder. "No."
"Why not? It's me. You can tell me, right?"
"No, I can't."
"It's bad, isn't it? You think Yohji's the hottest one and I'm somewhere below dirt."
"N-no! That's not it at all!!"
"So why can't you tell me?"
"Because, Ken-kun!!" She finally blurted out. "It's just wrong!! You're my best friend, and I'm thinking that you're the most gorgeous one out of all of us!!"
It took a while before the words processed themselves in Ken's mind. In this time, Omi's hands had flown to her mouth, and her eyes had gone wide. She was blushing so hard, even her ears were tinged.
"I…I……IhavetogoIhavehomework!!"
And suddenly she was gone.
Ken was still sitting there, frozen.
Most… gorgeous?
Omi thought he was…
Ken shook his head violently to snap out of it. No. Omi was right. This was wrong. Omi can't think of him as 'gorgeous'. Omi was a boy. And straight.
Noo~! Omi's a gi~irl, see? Even the check-up said so! From a spe~ecialist!
No, he isn't! Omi's a boy! Omi's always been a boy! He still acts and thinks like one.
But she's starting to turn mo~ore into a gi~irl! You said so yourse~elf!
He's still a boy! And I can't go after him! I'm straight!!
Who said I told you to go after him? Naa~aughty, naa~aughty! You thought that yourself!
N-no I didn't!! And stoop bothering me!! Omi's a boy!! I don't like boys!! Liking boys is crazy!!
Gi~irl! Not a problem if Omi's a gi~irl!
But she's my best friend! No wait! I mean she! NO he!! Stop confusing me!!
Ken realized this was time to stop arguing with himself. He was winning against himself. Or losing against himself. Well, he was confusing himself, that was for sure.
Gah! Definitely it was time to stop thinking.
He laid himself down, still staring at the door and sometimes glancing at the spot where Omi was. In fact, he could still feel the warmth where she had been laying down earlier.
It wasn't time to sleep, but he was getting a headache as a single thought played itself over and over in his mind.
Omi thinks I'm gorgeous.
-----*-----
Actually, earring in left ear means straight. So, Ken had his facts mixed up. It was funny anyway.
Forgive the insane gynecology exam. This chapter is meant for the sake of humor, so don't fear your own exams. It's probably not as bad as Omi described. He/she tends to exaggerate, since, like he/she said, he/she should have never NEEDED such an exam. The poor thing.
And… your doctor will probably not be a pervert. Besides, if your gynecologist is male, you're allowed to ask for a female nurse to be with you.
BTW, I don't own John Manabe. XD Yasuhiro Kanou does. I only borrowed him. Besides, I don't think Manabe does gynecology, he's supposed to be a plastic surgeon. Or something like that.
omiclones@hotmail.com
