Hello there people!!! It's the update you've been waiting for.

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It was early in the morning. After running through the halls of the palace in sheer terror, screaming like babies...they all proceeded to collapse on the ground and fall asleep in very odd places.

Faramir and Sam were the first ones to wake up. They peered out the window to see that the squirrels had vanished. But, they had left behind a little note...in acorns.

The note read 'BEWARE...DEATH WILL BE YOURS'. Naturally, the two of them screamed...waking up the entire palace.

"Wha...what's wrong?" yawned Aragorn from his spot on the floor.

"The...the squirrels...are back." stammered Sam.

"T...to KILL US!" yelped Faramir.

There was another mad rush to the window.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

They all scrambled away to hide in all sorts of places. Aragorn, Frodo, Sam, and Gimli were hiding under the table. Elladan and Elrohir were crouched behind a curtain. Legolas was holding onto a light fixture, which was swinging dangerously. Gandalf and Faramir had barricaded themselves in (separate) closets. Pippin and Merry had locked themselves in the kitchen. And the other soldiers were just running around in circles flapping their arms and looking like complete idiots.

Suddenly, Aragorn leapt out of his hiding place.

"What are we doing?" he asked.

"Well, we are acting like complete idiots by hiding from a bunch of little brown rodents who collect nuts and are somehow foaming at the mouth." explained Legolas.

"I know that!" cried Aragorn. "But is it really necessary?"

Faramir waved a hand in front of Aragorn's face.

"Hello...rabid squirrels trying to KILL us. Yeah I think it's kinda necessary."

Aragorn headed to the door and walked outside. Everyone looked at each other nervously before scrambling after him.

They all found him looked down over the balcony; the same balcony where a few weeks ago, they had been battling the Turkeys on.

"What are you staring at?" piped up Frodo as they all came up next to him.

Aragorn silently pointed out in the distance in horror.

Everyone looked...and quickly wished they hadn't.

There was a large mob of small brown things coming towards Gondor. They were dragging along little catapults and large bushels of nuts. Somehow they also managed to get mini bi-bi guns.

"Not another war...I still haven't gotten over the last one we had." moaned Merry.

"Let's suit up." grumbled Sam.

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When they came back out, they were dressed in their army costumes complete with advanced weaponry of mass destruction. (Bazookas, machine guns, rifles, revolvers, grenades, etc) All except Pippin, who was dressed in a clown suit.

"Why am I dressed up as a clown?" he asked.

"Because, you're the comic relief." explained Faramir as he loaded his machine gun.

"Yeah." agreed Gimli. "You're always the comic relief Pippin."

Pippin sighed and walked away. He just past the marble statue of Brad Pitt, when something small whizzed past his head and hit the stature with a bang. Little pieces of marble flew through the air, showering the Fellowship.

"SQUIRREL ATTACK!" screamed Pippin. "DUCK AND COVER!"

Everyone raced over to the balcony and dived to the ground just as a hoard of nuts came catapulting over the wall.

Everyone raised their guns and fired at the little brown rodents assembled below. Squirrels flew left and right, emitting little high-pitched screams as they flew through the air.

"Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...ROAD KILL!" laughed Aragorn as he fired non-stop into the mob.

Yet another battle for control over Middle-Earth had begun.

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MUST...SEE...THE VILLAGE!!! It looks so GOOD!!! I bet anyone that during that movie, the entire audience will scream at least once...or somebody will scream.

To my Reviewers:

Im A Brandybuck- Yeah, I think you're right. But I'll eventually think of something that'll happen when-if the squirrels are defeated.

Retrokitten87- Which Elven friend? There's Legolas, Elladan, and Elrohir. Oh well, maybe all of them are under your bed. If they are...please get them out and return them. I have something special in store for my little elves.

Lomiothiel- Hehehe...yeah, the Happy Hotel. They have a special room made just for me. And go see I, Robot. You'll love it...especially if you love violence, robots, and Will Smith.

BlackShadou- Maybe your prophecy from 7th grade is coming true. (Creepy music is heard) And Merry is all yours...maybe he's thinking of you.

Anyway...Read and Review as always. Stay cool, stay happy, AND STAY TUNED!!!