The next chapter has arrived. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Plus...I HAVE THE KING ARTHUR SOUNDTRACK!!! AND IT ROCKS!!!

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The Battle raged on and on. Really...it did! You would think that little brown rodents that don't even reach up to our ankles would be easy to kill. But then again...you haven't fought thousands of them at once. Of course...never have I but that's not important.

Anyway...Gimli and Legolas were once again engaged in a lets-see-who-can-kill- the-most-[insert enemy here] contest. So far Legolas was winning with his mini hand grenades and his silver shotgun and a total of 156. Gimli had his machine gun and total of 45. (This makes no sense...LIVE WITH IT)

The others were simply shooting at any little brown thing that moved. Usually it was a squirrel. On occasion it was some idiot who decided to wonder into the middle of the fight and imitate the squirrels. (Town idiots...we all have them) Pippin, however, was running around in circles waving his arms around and looking like a complete idiot. This was a good thing, for the squirrels were staring at him and laughing their heads off which made it easier for The Fellowship and the others to kill them.

"Are your fights always like this?" asked Elladan as he ducked a flaming acorn catapulted at him.

"No...actually they usually involve a lot of unnecessary violence and name calling." answered Aragorn as he dodged a mini-mob of squirrels chasing him with makeshift flamethrowers.

Elladan and Elrohir looked at each other.

"We really should have stayed in Rivendell." said Elrohir as Elladan nodded.

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(Meanwhile in Rivendell)

"SQUIRRELS...SQUIRRELS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES...FLEE...HEAD FOR THE !" screamed Glorfindel as he bolted through the hallways.

Elrond peeked out from his room.

"What do you mean 'Squirrels'?" he asked.

"They're attacking Lord Elrond." cried Glorfindel, grabbing hold of Elrond's sleeve and dragging him down the hall.

"You...the mighty Balrog-slayer...are afraid of a bunch of little squirrels?" laughed Elrond.

All of a sudden, a few of the guards raced past screaming at the top of their lungs about 'Rabid Squirrels' and whatnot.

"I knew I should have listened to Estel when he warned us about this." moaned Glorfindel.

"He was 10 years old and delusional from falling out of that tree." said Elrond rolling his eyes.

Glorfindel frowned.

"Fine...don't believe me. But I'm going somewhere safe." He raced off after the guards, leaving a laughing Elrond behind.

"Squirrels...what are they thinking?"

He turned the corner to find a bunch of the little creatures, all fangs and foam, blocking the way.

"Uh-oh."

Elrond raced down the hallway after Glorfindel screaming. The squirrels were courteous and gave him a 5 second head start before charging after him screaming in little high-pitched voices.

Elrond burst into the room where all the other elves were hiding, and locked the door. Glorfindel looked at him.

"Do you believe me now?"

"Yup...we're screwed."

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(Back in Gondor)

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!" yelped Frodo. "I'VE BEEN HIT IN THE LEG!" he screamed giving the 'puppy eyes'. Everyone stopped and did a synchronized 'Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww' and watched tearfully as Frodo was carried off the battle field.

(Dramatic Music plays for a few minutes)

Pippin loudly blew his nose on a tissue and some of the Squirrels could be seen wiping their eyes.

Sam climbed up on the wall, two machine guns in hand.

"WHO'S THE SORRY BASTARD WHO HURT MR. FRODO?" he yelled.

All the Squirrels looked at each other. They had all heard the rumors of how violent Sam could get when he was angry...or when someone hurt Frodo. They all turned tail and ran.

One brave little animal turned around and yelled out in a high voice that sounded suspiciously like Adam Sandler, "We'll be back!"

Sam raised his machine gun and fired upon the thing. It scampered away after its fellow squirrels. Everyone watched from the top of the balcony...then they all let out a huge cheer.

"THE CHEERS FOR SAMWISE GAMGEE!" cried Merry.

Everyone raised a conveniently placed Beer Bottle and drank in Sam's name. Then they all headed inside to think of a new battle plan and feel sorry for Frodo.

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That's the end of this chapter. I'm going to try and make this story a little bit longer then the first one. And for anyone who's going to see The Village...try not to scream. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

To my Reviewers:

Im a Brandybuck- He's both...as I made clear in this chapter. And I envy you and your sister...I don't even know when I'm going to go see it.

Iwish Chan- Thank you...I try to make it as funny as I can. I hope your friend enjoyed it as much as you did.

Nienna-yavetil- Yup...it's the Third Battle the Fellowship has fought in for control over Middle-Earth. And they thought fighting Sauron was hard.

BlackShadou- DIE WOMAN!!! (I can threaten her...because she's my friend) I still don't see why you can't see The Village...but I won't spoil it for you...when I eventually see it.

Oh...and for all the Frodo Fan Girls out there...DON'T FLAME ME!!! I didn't mean to hurt Frodo...really. I like the guy...a lot. So anyway...I'm off to Washington DC. TO BE TOTALLY BORED!!! I'll see you in a week. Later!!!