Hello people! I'm back from Washington DC...and being totally BORED!!! Why it is whenever my family goes to Washington we end up just driving round in circles going to 'Historical' places? HAVE THEY EVER HEARD THE PHRASE 'KIDS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN'? Well...actually it's 'Girls just wanna have fun but...

The Fellowship: GET ON WITH IT!

Ok, ok...sheesh. Talk about impatient. Here's the Update.

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The next day the entire balcony was designed to look like a Western Film. Everyone was wearing a cowboy with hat, boots, and silver pistols. Wild West music blasted over a loudspeaker in the background. A tumbleweed bounced over the path.

"Why are we doing this again?" asked Elladan as he fiddled with his hat.

"Yeah," piped up Merry. "We look like idiots."

Legolas raided an eyebrow.

"Whadda ya mean...we?"

Merry laughed nervously and quickly ran to hide behind Gandalf.

Soon the squirrels appeared. They came marching along in angry mob form, chanting in little high-pitched voices 'Kill'.

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Author's Note: The reason they keep saying 'kill' is because they want to get rid of everyone except the squirrels and the black swans so they can rule the world with the help of their queen Barbie of Swan Lake and they shall make us their servants and it will be hell and we shall all die of food poisoning and other horrible and painful diseases. But then again...what can acorns do? (Gets hit with an Acorn) OW!!! Ok...who's the smart one who did that? KILL THE SQUIRRELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The squirrels were carrying little bibi-guns. A few were dragging mini catapults and large baskets of acorns.

"My God!" cried Faramir.

"I know," said Aragorn. "Can squirrels really use bibi-guns?"

Faramir covered his face with his hands and gave Legolas a We're-doomed look.

Soon, the squirrels were on the balcony a few yards away. (They still remembered Sam) One of the squirrels stepped forward. Everyone pushed Aragorn forward as well.

Then, in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Sponge-bob Squarepants, the squirrel spoke.

"Give us your kingdom...and we shall let you go free."

"YOU WON'T TAKE US ALIVE!" cried Aragorn...a little overly dramatic.

"I'll give you $5 for it."

"Make is $20"

"$10"

"$5"

"$50 and that's my final offer."

"SOLD!" yelled the entire Fellowship at once.

The squirrel was about to take out his wallet when he finally realized what had just happened.

"Wha...wait a minute."

Everyone laughed.

"A deal's a deal...hand over the cash" said Legolas with a laugh.

The squirrel glared at everyone.

"SQUIRRELS...ATTACK!"

All the squirrels ran forward shooting wildly with the bibi-guns.

The little bullets hit the fellowship...and bounced right off.

"Huh?"

"Hey...it's not working."

"Uh-oh."

Soon, the Fellowship was chasing the squirrels around the balcony. Some of the soldiers who hadn't managed to get a cowboy outfit were dressed up as Indians.

"Does this loincloth make me look fat?" asked one of the guards.

Another guard looked...and instantly regretted it.

"AUGH...MY EYES!"

The guard ran away crying.

Suddenly, the squirrels stopped running. The Fellowship soon saw why and stopped as well. A flock of Black Swans had landed in front of the squirrels and from the looks of it, they were conversing about something. Then...

"DIVE-BOMBERS!"

When dive-bombing swans are coming at you at full speed, what do you do?

"RUUUUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Everyone turned tail and ran. All except Gandalf, who looked at his watch...noticed it was 10:30 and that his Soap Opera was on, sat down at a conveniently placed table with a TV on it...and began to watch. But the screams of his fellow comrades were so loud...he couldn't hear it.

"WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP?!?"

Everyone did.

"Thank you...I'm trying to watch my Soap Opera here."

Everyone looked at each other with curious looks on their faces.

"Don't ask." said Pippin.

Everyone (Including the Squirrels) went over to watch the Soap Opera with Gandalf.

What was happening in the Soap: Roderick was about to break up with Lucy so he could go marry Jane...but Jane was cheating on Roderick because she was really in love with Lucy's older brother Mark. But Mark was already married to Yolanda who was about to have triplets. Lucy was heartbroken because she loved Roderick.

"RODERICK...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

All in all...Soap Opera's are really confusing.

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Funniest book in the world...BORED OF THE RINGS!!! It's hilarious. Go to a Barnes and Noble and see if you can find it.

To my Reviewers:

RivendellWriter- Yup...evil squirrels. My best friend spent all of 7th grade warning us about them.

IwishChan- KUDOS FOR SAMMY!!! And I'm glad you and your friend are enjoying it.

Nienna-yavetil- Ooh...good idea. If I don't do an Attack of the Wild Fan Girls thing...maybe you could do it. But Sam is good at using a lot of things. He's especially good with the Bazooka.

Lomiothiel- Yup...they all should have listened to Estel back then.

INMH- Elladan and Elrohir are Elrond's identical twin sons...in a way Aragorn's older brothers...much older.

Retrokitten87- Here's the insanity. Enjoy. And GO SAM!!!

Im a Brandybuck- WOW...your Birthday falls on the same day as Hidalgo comes out on Video and DVD. Happy Birthday!!! And I can't wait to see The Village either. I'm trying to see it with a friend. I hope you have fun. And yes...poor Frodo.

And that is all. A little bit of news though. I might be able to update soon and I might not. It really depends on if I can get to the computer before the 6th because then I am off on vacation with the family. YAWN!!! Cya!!!