Chapter Two
"Ah, Kamatari?"
I looked in amusement as Chou didn't get the message. So simple. He just kept forgetting that he was in my body. It was natural for Sou-chan to think that I was me.
"Kamatari!" I growled in mock annoyance. That made him jerk his head up. The expression on my face was priceless. I must really ask him how he did that. It was so cute! "Can we go?"
I decided to forgo the accent. After traveling around for most of my life I didn't really have a discernable accent, which made faking one very difficult. Oh well.
He carefully picked up the blade he was nurturing and handed it back warily.
"No touchin' the swords." He snarled under his breath. Really, it's not my fault they were so light! I'm used to using my scythe after all. I'd never had much interest in swords. They were for samurais and people like Lord Shishio, not peasants. Or at least that's how I was raised to view them. There was a good reason I was so adept at using a scythe and why it was my choice weapon despite it's heavy weight and ungainly size.
It amused me immensely that he couldn't use the scythe. I'm sure he was blaming it on his lack of knowledge, wondering how he could fail at such a seemingly easy looking weapon. I'd just let him think that.
"Wouldn't dream of it." I mouthed back cheekily and slid the swords back into the scabbards he indicted. I wouldn't want to accidentally skewer someone. There was one or two I'd love to hit "accidentally." That manipulative bitch who hung all over my Lord Shishio for starters.
"Ya better not." He huffed, pocketing his stone and grabbing my scythe with ill grace. He was making me look bad. Maybe I should at least teach him the basics. After all, who knew how long this would last.
Despite my insistence that I knew nothing, I knew quite a bit about curses. Not specifically about wells per se, but curses in general. Usually they were to teach a lesson to insolent mortals. Sounds bad to begin with, but since Chou was foolish enough to do something so degrading, I think this one might be a bit more sever. I didn't have any idea how to break it or how long it would last.
I sighed at that thought. I didn't want to be stuck in this unsexy, masculine body forever. The shoulders were too broad and the hips too boxy. Not to mention I couldn't even fake a bust line, despite all my skills. Make-up would be useless, considering his facial structure. There was no doubt about it. Chou was built like a man.
Which was great, really… for him anyway. I'm sure the ladies found him very, er, manful and attractive. Well, his body anyway. Assuming he liked ladies. And that he didn't scare them away with his rude mouth and bad manners and awfully unhygienic habits. Rain did not take the place of a shower and licking swords that had been used recently to slice someone open was just disgusting.
Which reminded me. I had just bought some interesting foreign soap in one of the little shops. Chou's body needed it far more than mine did. Whew, I could smell him. How could he live with that?
A little lilac smell would do wonders.
I didn't even want to think of the task ahead of me. I got the feeling that some parts of this body needed lots of work. Geez, I was making myself ill just thinking of it. Yes, a bath was in order, definitely. And since I was forbidden woman's clothing I would simply have to use a bit of creativity. His clothes probably had been washed about the time the rest of him had.
Feeling eyes on me, I turned remembering just in time that Chou didn't give disarming, cheery smiles. Hastily rearranging my face I turned. I just couldn't get over how cute I looked when Chou was trying his hardest to coax a threatening look out of my softer features. Plus I could tell it was frustrating him big time.
"Yes? Did you need something?"
Eyes narrowed defensively and he replied, "Yer plottin' somethin'."
"Pardon? I don't plot; I think. You plot. Well, as much as you can call plotting. I bet you really don't think past your stomach and swords a vast majority of the time. Besides, why would I do something sneaky and devious? That takes too much effort."
He glared. Apparently I had failed to convince him of my innocent intentions. Well, there was a difference between lying and leaving stuff out. Since I had a hunch he would strenuously object to smelling "girly" aka nice, I simply wouldn't tell him what I planned to do.
Was that so wrong?
"Uh-huh, yer lookin' like yer plottin'. Meh face, 'member?"
True enough. I suppose he would know his own facial expressions.
A devious thought struck.
Would he know this one?
"Urgh! Don' do that!" He shuddered and stepped back. I did it again, just for effect. Except the second time I put a little more emphasis on the eyes by batting the lashes at an interesting, erratic pace and wiggled the hips a bit more. Just to draw some attention to the correct places.
By now my antics had caught the attention of several townsfolk (who I assume had been going on their honest way before becoming unwitting victims in this little spat), Anji, and poor Sou-chan. He just looked so confused with a silly, hesitant smile on his face. Anji… he didn't look so confused, or amused for that matter. Sometimes it was hard to tell. Not that it mattered since he lacked a vital aspect: a sense of humor.
"'Ey, stop it, dam' ya!"
Ooo, this was fun… and rather mean… but fun! Oh, and humiliating.
I gave my best devilish grin in response to his demands and wiggled a big more. I must say it was an interesting experience. He wasn't nearly so nimble as I was used to and much bulkier. That's okay; I like challenges.
"What? You don't think this is appropriate?" I asked playfully, dancing back out of reach. Making a provocative motion that had mother's covering their children's eyes, I smirked. Eat this sword-boy.
"Dam' ya!" He howled and lunged like a rabid beast. Really, what was all this fuss about? So I made a few motions, it's not like they were lewd or anything! Well, not too much so. I could do worse.
"Gimme yer sword!" He demanded of poor Sou-chan. The boy protectively put his body between the crazie and his katana. Rightly so in my opinion. For starters, I wasn't supposed to even know how to use a sword. If I were Sou-chan I'd be worried about some idiot chopping off a toe or finger because they didn't know what they were doing. I mean, if me tossing around Chou's "babies" wasn't proof enough! Secondly, he was all but slavering at the mouth. Not very flattering.
"Kamatari…"
"Jus' do it!" Chou growled, glancing over at me with, dare I say, hate-filled eyes? Or loathful? Nope, how about homicidal and murderous. Wow, my face could look quite scary with the right motivation. I'd have to remember that for later. Provided I lived.
Then again, what was he going to do? Skewer his own body? Hehe, nope. I was safe in my Chou-turtle-shell. Safe and very daring to say the least. Might as well live it up while I could.
Dredging up a completely perverted song I had picked up in a local gambling hall, I started bellowing it out while making the motions that went along with it. Well, most of the song involved two people and, uh, you know. So the motions were pretty one-sided, but the looks of horror and/or amusement from the by-standers let me know I was right on the bulls' eye. They got the picture, crystal-clear. So did Chou.
"Yer so dead!" He blazed, making a ton of rude, wrathful gestures. "When I catch ya, I'll strangle ya with this… thing!" He plucked at my clothing, "Then I'll strip ya bare and shave ya bald."
Now, I wasn't sure if this occurred to him yet, but he would be doing this to his body, not mine. If he really thought about it and was having a good day, the idea might connect that the best way to get back at me would be to shave MY head bald. Ah, you've got to enjoy and appreciate the slower people of the world sometimes.
Which didn't mean I was going to appreciate him sitting still where he could catch me. Oh no, I was already blazing past Sou-chan. The poor boy was still looking a bit shocked. Then again, when was the last time Chou had run or teased someone or made such vulgar motions?
I ducked down a twisty alley and easily leapt over a low fence. I could hear him cursing and cussing me out. Uh-huh, threats weren't exactly motivating me to reveal myself. Not that there was too much he could do. After all, we were still on the same "team." Not to mention I had all his precious babies. Maybe I should remind him of that fact. Hostages were never a bad thing.
Deciding the he'd probably be pretty angry for… well, a long time, I doubled back and skirted the rough shouts and death threats.
"Did I miss anything?" I ask, walking back up. Anji gave a dark stare and Sou-chan piped up, "Uh, are you sure you're not sick?"
Um-hm, and that sentence really ended with an implied 'in the head?'
"I'm fine, really. Just not myself completely right now. Out of my mind temporarily is all."
Okay, now he was backing up. Really, so Chou had some problems. This couldn't be that bad, right? No considering some of the other nut-jobs out there.
Sighing, I decided not to drag out the fun. Gaining Sou-chan and Anji's attention, I informed them of our little predicament.
"…And now we're switched. Oh, and if you see him coming and he still looks very angry, let me know."
Sou-chan pointed, "He is coming, but he does not look—that is new…"
Holy… well, whatever it was, it wasn't near holy!
"What did you DO?!!" I shrieked. What else could I do? The made looked like he'd played with an especially large pig in a fireplace. And that pig slobbered on my hair, making it stick up with piggy-spit and being chewed ragged in some places.
"Wha'?" He slurred and I noticed he was sporting several slap prints and the beginning of a shiner. That better not mark up my face permanently. For that I would have to kill him. Slowly. By peeling the skin off layer at a time and roasting him like a piece of pork.
"You…" I sputtered, furiously. Grabbing a sword from the stash that this body seemed to be, I held it where he could see it. His eyes widened at the implications. Baby, just what was he thinking here?
Ignoring his panicked attempt to reach me, I pointed the sharp end at him. Yes, the sharp end. I knew that much about swords.
He did a comical skid and paused to eye me around the sword point.
"I want my body back." I announced. I didn't mind the new residence short-term, but he was trashing the old one! I would need a deposit if he insisted on continuing with his destruction.
"Well ya, meh too!" He snapped and gulped when the point hovered a bit nearer. Really, when was the guy going to realize I wasn't going to scar myself? Oh well.
"Meanwhile, you're not to scar or hurt my face. I know your mug is rather, well, to put it bluntly, very hideous. Mine, however, is rather beautiful and it needs to stay like that. No marks, understood?" I said all of this slowly, so he'd get it better. I wondered if his brain stopped developing halfway through his childhood. Well, or how many times he was dropped on his head as a poor baby.
A sliver of comprehension crossed his/my face and I narrowed my eyes. I also decided that deceit did not suit my features very well.
"Make meh."
"Oh dear, how childish!" I protested in mock horror. "Listen you prick," Sou-chan made a little noise at that one. What? Can't a guy be a bit vicious in self-defense? "You're forgetting one very important detail. I have all your sharpened scrap with me. Are you with me here? I wonder how much, say this sword," I pulled one of the smaller ones out, "Is worth. To you."
Let him mull that one over.
"One scratch on my face is one nick on your baby. Starting with this one here."
He nodded mutely.
"I knew you were a smart boy." I remarked, putting the stupid thing away. Really, these things were nothing but trouble. Then again, having a leash on the man would only be a good thing.
"Fucker."
"Pardon?"
He just glared at me.
"If your are done, we have delayed long enough." Anji reminded, looking slightly uncomfortable. Well, let the big guy be a bit uncomfortable. Being all stotic-like all the time wasn't good for anyone. He needed to try lightening up on occasion. That and getting rid of the soot on his face. He kept scaring little children on the street.
Sou-chan looked a bit guilty, "Lord Shishio is going to be displeased."
A mutual shiver went between Chou and I, but for different reasons. He was probably terrified. I, on the other hand, was excited.
"Whatcha lookin' like that fer?"
"Let's go meet Lord Shishio!" I said, ignoring him. In truth, what could I say? If the guy hadn't figured out my infatuation with Lord Shishio yet then he really was dropped on his head. Uh-huh, and I just hoped he wouldn't look down because it definitely was a man's body.
A/N: Blame/praise my evil mood because of my uncle dragging me out of the shower for this chapter. Sorry this is taking so long to update. Oh, and my brother for the "Kamatari is like Micheal Jackson" comment (killed him already).
nonameyet: I'll probably end up dragging in several more characters - But yes, there are practically no stories on them. I don't know why not, but oh well. Too many Kenshin stories probably.
sekihoutai: Sexy? Then I did my job right (I think?). War is the correct term :) Kamatari just had to recognize it for what it was first. Hair or swords, hm, that's a rather limited scope There are just toooooooo many things...
Fyyrrose: It's my usual 6. Only BSR and HS are long chapters -.-; Yes, great to tor- er, portray! Especially Hiko. Hey, the only OCs I have are in HS. Just Ren, Stephen, Ms. Amy, and Ray the trucker evil laugh. If I woke in another person's body I'd start raising hell ;; As for the bath, I think you and Kamatari are on the same page there. Gaah, get off! beats with fish book Yes, yes, your baby will have his part. Like I could forget the little psycho? To Raven: Yes, he's as he should be. Before Kenshin broke his sanity, left him without beliefs, and walked off. You know, that was kind of a cruel thing to do. Oh well. J: I'm glad you like Kamatari's "high self esteem" He would need it, all things considered. And guinea pigs! You're sick and you can't eat my fish! Not like they're big enough. Integra and Hiro will get about a foot eventually... in a year maybe. As for the "bonding" starts laughing I don't think that'll work too well after all the blood shed.
"Ah, Kamatari?"
I looked in amusement as Chou didn't get the message. So simple. He just kept forgetting that he was in my body. It was natural for Sou-chan to think that I was me.
"Kamatari!" I growled in mock annoyance. That made him jerk his head up. The expression on my face was priceless. I must really ask him how he did that. It was so cute! "Can we go?"
I decided to forgo the accent. After traveling around for most of my life I didn't really have a discernable accent, which made faking one very difficult. Oh well.
He carefully picked up the blade he was nurturing and handed it back warily.
"No touchin' the swords." He snarled under his breath. Really, it's not my fault they were so light! I'm used to using my scythe after all. I'd never had much interest in swords. They were for samurais and people like Lord Shishio, not peasants. Or at least that's how I was raised to view them. There was a good reason I was so adept at using a scythe and why it was my choice weapon despite it's heavy weight and ungainly size.
It amused me immensely that he couldn't use the scythe. I'm sure he was blaming it on his lack of knowledge, wondering how he could fail at such a seemingly easy looking weapon. I'd just let him think that.
"Wouldn't dream of it." I mouthed back cheekily and slid the swords back into the scabbards he indicted. I wouldn't want to accidentally skewer someone. There was one or two I'd love to hit "accidentally." That manipulative bitch who hung all over my Lord Shishio for starters.
"Ya better not." He huffed, pocketing his stone and grabbing my scythe with ill grace. He was making me look bad. Maybe I should at least teach him the basics. After all, who knew how long this would last.
Despite my insistence that I knew nothing, I knew quite a bit about curses. Not specifically about wells per se, but curses in general. Usually they were to teach a lesson to insolent mortals. Sounds bad to begin with, but since Chou was foolish enough to do something so degrading, I think this one might be a bit more sever. I didn't have any idea how to break it or how long it would last.
I sighed at that thought. I didn't want to be stuck in this unsexy, masculine body forever. The shoulders were too broad and the hips too boxy. Not to mention I couldn't even fake a bust line, despite all my skills. Make-up would be useless, considering his facial structure. There was no doubt about it. Chou was built like a man.
Which was great, really… for him anyway. I'm sure the ladies found him very, er, manful and attractive. Well, his body anyway. Assuming he liked ladies. And that he didn't scare them away with his rude mouth and bad manners and awfully unhygienic habits. Rain did not take the place of a shower and licking swords that had been used recently to slice someone open was just disgusting.
Which reminded me. I had just bought some interesting foreign soap in one of the little shops. Chou's body needed it far more than mine did. Whew, I could smell him. How could he live with that?
A little lilac smell would do wonders.
I didn't even want to think of the task ahead of me. I got the feeling that some parts of this body needed lots of work. Geez, I was making myself ill just thinking of it. Yes, a bath was in order, definitely. And since I was forbidden woman's clothing I would simply have to use a bit of creativity. His clothes probably had been washed about the time the rest of him had.
Feeling eyes on me, I turned remembering just in time that Chou didn't give disarming, cheery smiles. Hastily rearranging my face I turned. I just couldn't get over how cute I looked when Chou was trying his hardest to coax a threatening look out of my softer features. Plus I could tell it was frustrating him big time.
"Yes? Did you need something?"
Eyes narrowed defensively and he replied, "Yer plottin' somethin'."
"Pardon? I don't plot; I think. You plot. Well, as much as you can call plotting. I bet you really don't think past your stomach and swords a vast majority of the time. Besides, why would I do something sneaky and devious? That takes too much effort."
He glared. Apparently I had failed to convince him of my innocent intentions. Well, there was a difference between lying and leaving stuff out. Since I had a hunch he would strenuously object to smelling "girly" aka nice, I simply wouldn't tell him what I planned to do.
Was that so wrong?
"Uh-huh, yer lookin' like yer plottin'. Meh face, 'member?"
True enough. I suppose he would know his own facial expressions.
A devious thought struck.
Would he know this one?
"Urgh! Don' do that!" He shuddered and stepped back. I did it again, just for effect. Except the second time I put a little more emphasis on the eyes by batting the lashes at an interesting, erratic pace and wiggled the hips a bit more. Just to draw some attention to the correct places.
By now my antics had caught the attention of several townsfolk (who I assume had been going on their honest way before becoming unwitting victims in this little spat), Anji, and poor Sou-chan. He just looked so confused with a silly, hesitant smile on his face. Anji… he didn't look so confused, or amused for that matter. Sometimes it was hard to tell. Not that it mattered since he lacked a vital aspect: a sense of humor.
"'Ey, stop it, dam' ya!"
Ooo, this was fun… and rather mean… but fun! Oh, and humiliating.
I gave my best devilish grin in response to his demands and wiggled a big more. I must say it was an interesting experience. He wasn't nearly so nimble as I was used to and much bulkier. That's okay; I like challenges.
"What? You don't think this is appropriate?" I asked playfully, dancing back out of reach. Making a provocative motion that had mother's covering their children's eyes, I smirked. Eat this sword-boy.
"Dam' ya!" He howled and lunged like a rabid beast. Really, what was all this fuss about? So I made a few motions, it's not like they were lewd or anything! Well, not too much so. I could do worse.
"Gimme yer sword!" He demanded of poor Sou-chan. The boy protectively put his body between the crazie and his katana. Rightly so in my opinion. For starters, I wasn't supposed to even know how to use a sword. If I were Sou-chan I'd be worried about some idiot chopping off a toe or finger because they didn't know what they were doing. I mean, if me tossing around Chou's "babies" wasn't proof enough! Secondly, he was all but slavering at the mouth. Not very flattering.
"Kamatari…"
"Jus' do it!" Chou growled, glancing over at me with, dare I say, hate-filled eyes? Or loathful? Nope, how about homicidal and murderous. Wow, my face could look quite scary with the right motivation. I'd have to remember that for later. Provided I lived.
Then again, what was he going to do? Skewer his own body? Hehe, nope. I was safe in my Chou-turtle-shell. Safe and very daring to say the least. Might as well live it up while I could.
Dredging up a completely perverted song I had picked up in a local gambling hall, I started bellowing it out while making the motions that went along with it. Well, most of the song involved two people and, uh, you know. So the motions were pretty one-sided, but the looks of horror and/or amusement from the by-standers let me know I was right on the bulls' eye. They got the picture, crystal-clear. So did Chou.
"Yer so dead!" He blazed, making a ton of rude, wrathful gestures. "When I catch ya, I'll strangle ya with this… thing!" He plucked at my clothing, "Then I'll strip ya bare and shave ya bald."
Now, I wasn't sure if this occurred to him yet, but he would be doing this to his body, not mine. If he really thought about it and was having a good day, the idea might connect that the best way to get back at me would be to shave MY head bald. Ah, you've got to enjoy and appreciate the slower people of the world sometimes.
Which didn't mean I was going to appreciate him sitting still where he could catch me. Oh no, I was already blazing past Sou-chan. The poor boy was still looking a bit shocked. Then again, when was the last time Chou had run or teased someone or made such vulgar motions?
I ducked down a twisty alley and easily leapt over a low fence. I could hear him cursing and cussing me out. Uh-huh, threats weren't exactly motivating me to reveal myself. Not that there was too much he could do. After all, we were still on the same "team." Not to mention I had all his precious babies. Maybe I should remind him of that fact. Hostages were never a bad thing.
Deciding the he'd probably be pretty angry for… well, a long time, I doubled back and skirted the rough shouts and death threats.
"Did I miss anything?" I ask, walking back up. Anji gave a dark stare and Sou-chan piped up, "Uh, are you sure you're not sick?"
Um-hm, and that sentence really ended with an implied 'in the head?'
"I'm fine, really. Just not myself completely right now. Out of my mind temporarily is all."
Okay, now he was backing up. Really, so Chou had some problems. This couldn't be that bad, right? No considering some of the other nut-jobs out there.
Sighing, I decided not to drag out the fun. Gaining Sou-chan and Anji's attention, I informed them of our little predicament.
"…And now we're switched. Oh, and if you see him coming and he still looks very angry, let me know."
Sou-chan pointed, "He is coming, but he does not look—that is new…"
Holy… well, whatever it was, it wasn't near holy!
"What did you DO?!!" I shrieked. What else could I do? The made looked like he'd played with an especially large pig in a fireplace. And that pig slobbered on my hair, making it stick up with piggy-spit and being chewed ragged in some places.
"Wha'?" He slurred and I noticed he was sporting several slap prints and the beginning of a shiner. That better not mark up my face permanently. For that I would have to kill him. Slowly. By peeling the skin off layer at a time and roasting him like a piece of pork.
"You…" I sputtered, furiously. Grabbing a sword from the stash that this body seemed to be, I held it where he could see it. His eyes widened at the implications. Baby, just what was he thinking here?
Ignoring his panicked attempt to reach me, I pointed the sharp end at him. Yes, the sharp end. I knew that much about swords.
He did a comical skid and paused to eye me around the sword point.
"I want my body back." I announced. I didn't mind the new residence short-term, but he was trashing the old one! I would need a deposit if he insisted on continuing with his destruction.
"Well ya, meh too!" He snapped and gulped when the point hovered a bit nearer. Really, when was the guy going to realize I wasn't going to scar myself? Oh well.
"Meanwhile, you're not to scar or hurt my face. I know your mug is rather, well, to put it bluntly, very hideous. Mine, however, is rather beautiful and it needs to stay like that. No marks, understood?" I said all of this slowly, so he'd get it better. I wondered if his brain stopped developing halfway through his childhood. Well, or how many times he was dropped on his head as a poor baby.
A sliver of comprehension crossed his/my face and I narrowed my eyes. I also decided that deceit did not suit my features very well.
"Make meh."
"Oh dear, how childish!" I protested in mock horror. "Listen you prick," Sou-chan made a little noise at that one. What? Can't a guy be a bit vicious in self-defense? "You're forgetting one very important detail. I have all your sharpened scrap with me. Are you with me here? I wonder how much, say this sword," I pulled one of the smaller ones out, "Is worth. To you."
Let him mull that one over.
"One scratch on my face is one nick on your baby. Starting with this one here."
He nodded mutely.
"I knew you were a smart boy." I remarked, putting the stupid thing away. Really, these things were nothing but trouble. Then again, having a leash on the man would only be a good thing.
"Fucker."
"Pardon?"
He just glared at me.
"If your are done, we have delayed long enough." Anji reminded, looking slightly uncomfortable. Well, let the big guy be a bit uncomfortable. Being all stotic-like all the time wasn't good for anyone. He needed to try lightening up on occasion. That and getting rid of the soot on his face. He kept scaring little children on the street.
Sou-chan looked a bit guilty, "Lord Shishio is going to be displeased."
A mutual shiver went between Chou and I, but for different reasons. He was probably terrified. I, on the other hand, was excited.
"Whatcha lookin' like that fer?"
"Let's go meet Lord Shishio!" I said, ignoring him. In truth, what could I say? If the guy hadn't figured out my infatuation with Lord Shishio yet then he really was dropped on his head. Uh-huh, and I just hoped he wouldn't look down because it definitely was a man's body.
A/N: Blame/praise my evil mood because of my uncle dragging me out of the shower for this chapter. Sorry this is taking so long to update. Oh, and my brother for the "Kamatari is like Micheal Jackson" comment (killed him already).
nonameyet: I'll probably end up dragging in several more characters - But yes, there are practically no stories on them. I don't know why not, but oh well. Too many Kenshin stories probably.
sekihoutai: Sexy? Then I did my job right (I think?). War is the correct term :) Kamatari just had to recognize it for what it was first. Hair or swords, hm, that's a rather limited scope There are just toooooooo many things...
Fyyrrose: It's my usual 6. Only BSR and HS are long chapters -.-; Yes, great to tor- er, portray! Especially Hiko. Hey, the only OCs I have are in HS. Just Ren, Stephen, Ms. Amy, and Ray the trucker evil laugh. If I woke in another person's body I'd start raising hell ;; As for the bath, I think you and Kamatari are on the same page there. Gaah, get off! beats with fish book Yes, yes, your baby will have his part. Like I could forget the little psycho? To Raven: Yes, he's as he should be. Before Kenshin broke his sanity, left him without beliefs, and walked off. You know, that was kind of a cruel thing to do. Oh well. J: I'm glad you like Kamatari's "high self esteem" He would need it, all things considered. And guinea pigs! You're sick and you can't eat my fish! Not like they're big enough. Integra and Hiro will get about a foot eventually... in a year maybe. As for the "bonding" starts laughing I don't think that'll work too well after all the blood shed.
