Chapter Six

I stared after Chou as he stalked away. I purposely avoided the white, shining, naked, exposed, gleaming, hideous, ugly, blinding… my head! It was just so… so… no. Don't think about it. If you think about it, you'll either want to commit homicide or suicide or both.

"What did you say to Chou-san?"

I blinked and turned to the boy. Grinning, I reached up to ruffle his hair, enjoying the fact that someone had some. I didn't look at Anji. It was too painful a reminder.

"Nothing much. I'm afraid he's just a little scared."

Soujirou's eyes widened and I realized how wickedly vague my answer was.

"Oh, you know. He's so set on being a loner; I just thought he'd like some company. You know, one boring, cold night or something. I just pointed out that I'd always love to be available for such an occasion." I said with a suggestive wink, "Was I too forward?"

"You are always too forward." Anji replied bluntly and I stuck my tongue out. He ignored me of course. Really, where was the fun in life for him? Monks were allowed to have fun too. I've never figured out why people felt like they were duty-bound to being miserable for their whole existence.

"Ah, but being forward gets me what I want. And we all know how important that is!" I sauced and got a twitch. Sliding forward, I couldn't resist adding with a smirk, "Because the world revolves around me."

"You don't believe that." He replied.

Dang, what did it take to get a reaction out of him? Well, short of shoving my tongue down this throat. That option wasn't too appealing, not remotely worth the reward of seeing something other than a frown on his face. Or maybe it'd still be a frown, but it'd just be a livid frown that was before the pummeling.

He continued, "If you did, you wouldn't be here."

"Thank you so much. You should be a doctor! Telling me how I feel." I grumped. Brightening, "Can I tell you how you feel? We could make it a game!"

"No."

"Spoilsport." I jabbed making him frown harder. "Do you have anything constructive to say then? Because my time isn't free. I have people to harass, Shishio-sama to admire and drool over, Yumi to fight with, oh, and getting my body back from Chou!"

"Quite the list." The fallen monk remarked. Gasp! Was that a tiny bit of humor cracking through his facade? He eyed me gravely, "Have you figured out how to break the curse."

"Long time ago." I breezed, giving him a friendly thump on the shoulders as I tried to walk past.

He didn't move to stop me, just called to my back, "Then why haven't you gone back."

"Hmm, good question. I'm assuming Chou's holding things up. You know, he's a bit slow sometimes. Good guy, just slow. But, whew, is he malicious! I don't think I want to play with him anymore. At least not while he's got my body in his possession."

"And his swords?"

"Oh those." I said flippantly and waved a hand over my shoulder, "A friend is holding them for me. He's not going to see them any time soon. I, however, should probably go to the local pawnshops and look for my scythe. I can't imagine he got much for it." I turned and gave a slight grin, "After all, it weighs more than I do. Without the chain. Not many people want a weapon they can't use. That's what weapons are for: using. I'm afraid my weapon serves only one purpose. Yours," I point at his fists, "Serve many vital functions. Like eating." His face took on a cast of disbelief at that one and I laughed. I'm sure he was surprised I was so deep and serious, but of course I had to end on a teasing note.

"How astute of you."

"Yes, whatever that word means!" I reply cheekily, grabbing Soujirou and dragging him along with me. "Sorry, but I need to steal Sou-chan. I'll return him… or not. Anyway, see you later! You can give me tips on how you deal with your lack of hair."

Once we were out of sight I sighed in relief.

"He's really nosy for a monk."

"Anji-san is worried."

"So am I."

"About what Kamatari?"

I give a wry grin. I was quite possibly the only person the kid didn't use an honorific with, and only because I threatened to do unspeakable things to him if he did. Namely try to make him stop smiling by any means necessary. He knows I was joking, but being the good kid he is, he humors me.

You've got to admit the kid was unfailingly polite. No wonder Shishio-sama sent him as an envoy. I'm afraid Chou and I had something in common that wouldn't bode well in a job like that: a serious attitude problem. Well, assuming I didn't scare them away with my cross-dressing and he didn't decide to show off his babies.

"How I'm going to do up Chou's hair next!" I yip gleefully, masking over the real things to worry about. Worry was stress; stress is bad. Therefore, worry is bad. Not to mention the wrinkles. Must not fall out of habit, even if I was stuck in this body.

"Er."

"Yup. I was thinking of trying something called a French Braid. Sound good to you?"

"Kamatari, I do not even know what that is."

"So? It still sounds good. Exotic."

"Okay."

"So, what should I do next?" I said, tapping my index fingertip on my bottom lip. It was a curious habit I'd picked up from somewhere. I never bothered to stop because I found it cute. Until I pictured myself as Chou doing it. My finger paused in mid-tap and I hastily brought it back down.

"You could apologize to Chou-san." Soujirou suggested.

"I know! I can go harass Chou and that girl some more! Thanks for the idea Sou-chan."

"Kamatari, that is not what I said!"

"Of course it is. You just used politer words. Do you think Chou's ever gotten a sincere apology in his whole life." Soujirou blinked, "Me neither. So it'll be fun to see what happens!"

"That is mean!"

"Really?"

"Are you going to be sincere?"

"What? Do I look like the kind of person to be sincere? I sure won't! I meant what I said, it's nothing to apologize for. You'll understand someday that a body has needs." I finished, fully aware of the play on words I was presenting. Hey, what's the use of a reputation if you don't use it? People expect certain things. Who am I to argue? It was much more fun to deliver anyhow.

"Kamatari…" Was it just me, or did the boy take on a whiny tone? It was just so cute! Okay, focus, just focus.

"I'm just teasing you. Come on, let's go find them." I said, giving his arm another yank.

We found Chou and his female shadow in the oddest place ever: my room.

He was sifting through my neatly made up clothing, tossing them all over the floor. I glanced around in annoyance. He was messing with my system. I told him as much.

"What system? It tain't like you actually put these things in order." He protested, tossing a particular favorite of mine at my feet. Aiko, probably having a similar reaction to his callous disregard for pretty garments, stooped over to pick up each discard outfit.

Snatching up the one at my feet I stalked over and shook it in his face in semi-mock, semi-real anger. "Look at this."

He squinted and frowned considering. "So?"

"You just threw it on the floor!"

"So?"

"That's rude, discourteous, and disrespectful. You don't throw your own stuff all over the floor, do you?" Okay, judging by his face he did. "Okay, bad example! You don't go tossing Shishio-sama's possessions all over the place."

He made a snorting noise, "So?"

"Gah!" I said throwing my hands up in the air. Turning to the girl, but staying far away so she couldn't kick me again, "Make him behave! Hey, hey, that one was 100% silk!"

Chou-san, perhaps you should be more careful." Sou-chan added.

"Fine. What the hell didja want?"

Reminded of my self-imposed task, I smiled broadly and leaned into him. Oh boy, this is getting far too weird. The weird thing was the fact that I didn't even consider how I was flirting with myself.

"Ah, I was just coming to apologize."

"Wha?"

"Yes, apologize. I know it's a very difficult word for you to understand, but please try. You know, I don't really like saying sorry, so I'll make this fun."

"Didn't ya mean short?"

"Umm, no. Fun." I smirked, giving a wink to Sou-chan. He smiled back. I think it was approval for once.

"Get on with it." Chou said warily.

The young woman pouted and said warningly, "You better be nice to Chou-kun!"

"I'm as nice as a sweet little lamb."

"A cross-dressin' lamb? Ya must mean a wolf in sheep's clothin'." Chou retorted and I had to clap, "Chou! You said something witty!"

His hand shot out grabbing mine and squeezing.

"Ya shut up!"

"But that was a compliment!" I protested, trying to jerk my hand away. Immaturity is highly underrated! This was turning out better than I could ever have imagined. "You should be happy. You got an apology and a compliment!"

"I didn' hear either one." Chou retorted. Ah, maybe being in my body was making him smarter. He didn't usually pick up on things like that.

During this time he had done his best to regain his space, something, which I quickly remedied. He wasn't going to wiggle out that easily. Obviously I had bit off far more than I could chew playing at a physical war with Chou. Which left two options for me to continue the battles: sexual or psychological.

Now, as much as I enjoyed the former I really didn't fancy being assaulted by that female over there. And I have no doubt she'd beat me bloody… with much pleasure. Women were vicious like that. It took so little to set them off into an attempted homicide.

Well, okay, so maybe I had something before with the friendship issue. He seemed to have reacted quite… negatively to that innocent little suggestion!

I slung a friendly arm around his shoulders, which was quite easy to do, considering my sudden height. Maybe this unsexy body did have its advantages too. But it also served to remind me that my cheek was very, very close to a shiny bald head.

Bad thoughts, bad thoughts. Keep on track. Must… not… think… of… head.

Agggggggggggggggh! My hair, he killed all my beautiful hair.

Okay, much better. Next time I think I'll scream in his ear instead of my head.

"You know, you should let me rub some lotion on my head. Knowing you, you'll let my skin get all dry and cracked. If I had HAIR that wouldn't be necessary. But since I do NOT have HAIR, it needs man-made oils to keep it moist. You wouldn't object to that, now would you Chou-chan?"

"Wha the fuck? 'Ell no, ya ain't touchin' meh!" He paused and his face turned bright red. Honestly, he better not have a conniption fit. "CHAN?"

"Yes, we're friends now, remember? So I'm going to call you Chou-chan. Unless you'd like –kun? But that's not as cute."

"We ain't friends." He fumed, "I ain't yer friend and ya ain't mine."

I hummed, thinking about what kind of hat I'd make him wear. Maybe just something plain. I didn't want to incur more physical wrath after all. Then again, there was that… no. Think Chou. He'd want something… I made a face… manly.

"If'n ya are gonna call meh somethin', it better be –sama." He snarled and I took no notice. Yes, definitely go with a plain hat. And Chou-chan had such a sweet ring to it.

"My head needs to be covered. I don't think you realize how important hair is to a human."

He gave a not-so-gentle jerk on a ponytail and I let my head go with it to avoid missing a chunk of strawberry hair coming out in his grasp.

"Then why'd ya do that?"

"It's not like it's all fallen out. You're just naturally pink now. A fate worse than being naturally blond."

It took a second for that to click.

"Ouchie! That hurts Chou-chan!" I pouted, trying to wrestle that hank of hair out of his heavy hand. Not that I minded if he ended up with a bald spot, but it hurt!

"Damn straight!"

"Chou-san, I think you are maiming yourself." Soujirou pointed out from the side. So he hadn't run off yet? The boy was getting used to our madness. Good, very good. What else could be corrupted?

"What on Earth is going on in here?"

The four of us turned rather guiltily. So there wasn't any lifelong damage after all!

A/N: Sorry for the hasty ending. I want to go a complete different direction, but in order to do that I needed to end this chapter a bit prematurely.

MissBehavin: First off, before I forget, who plays Sanosuke Harada in that Shinsengumi RPG? Because I want to say squeeze Itou again! Make his eyes bulge out! Erm, yeah, anyway... And you know, I'm thinking light pink, so like pastel :) Those would seriously be some loooooooong pigtails too. Bald... Kamatari... now that scares even me. I can't look at bald people anymore. He/She APPEARED to take it well . And yes, I'm seriously trying to tramuatize everyone, and doing a damn fine job (especially on myself!).

Mijuku Shikaku: I'm considering cutting my hair very short (but not bald X.X). I'm not a yaoi writer... shoot, I'm not a yaoi fangirl even. I can't claim much of anything along that line. It's more the happy ending part I was worried about.

Fyyrrose: Gee, wonder who that is! Excuses excuses. Is that all you have? Tsk, tsk. I took several cheap shots whistles And not all of them were directed at RK characters... -coughbadhackpoetrychoke- My childhood was good, better than now.But double standards are fun! They make awesome material .

Imi-nashi: Glad you like it!

Wistful-Eyes: Shishio will see it. A bit. At the end :D Can't say more, I'll ruin it. Don't worry, next chapter will have lots of expression :)