Chapter Six
They were all absolutely insane. Bonkers, crazy, cracked up, bananas, zany, outlandish… That was the only explanation. It's the only conceivable one anyhow because I am obviously quite sane. The possibility that I am the one off my rocker is non-existent.
"Hoji-san!"
I am still very confused. Very well, I will play their little game, whatever it may be, as long as they see fit to explain the rules. Then maybe I will find out what foolishness has seized them and make it right!
"Yes?"
"You're alright! We were so worried."
And that was so grossly out of character for the blond sword-collector I nearly swooned. This was a very sick game.
"I am not "alright" as you put it." I huff indignantly, "You people have been childish long enough. Tell me what is going on."
"But Hoji-san…" He whined.
"Right now." I say firmly. This better be fast. I had more plotting to do and that required that I have privacy. After all, who wants to plot with a group of immature fighters horsing around? I was not too surprised to see Honjo there, nor Sawagejo, but usually Seta was a sensible boy.
"I really don't think you can handle it…" I cut Sawagejo off with a sharp glare. Such insolence! I recall him being mouthy, but never so sickeningly polite about it.
Seta looked between us and suggested to Sawagejo, "You should probably tell him."
That's right. They better tell me!
"Fin'." Honjo sneered… wait, sneered? Before I could figure that out he continued, "Hope ya have a mental breakdown too."
Such blatant disrespect! Apparently they've been far too accustomed to the freedom Shishio-sama has granted them. I must have a word with him about that. Such dogs should never be allowed to run loose.
"Umm, well, you see."
"Would ya stop hemmin' and hawin' and tell 'im?"
"I'm getting there!" Sawagejo snapped back, sticking out his tongue in the most ridiculous fashion I'd ever seen. Dirty urchins from the street were more dignified. "Anyway, you see, Chou-chan and I have a slight dilemia here."
CHOU-CHAN? Who in the world was this CHOU-CHAN he was babbling about now? I certainly hoped there were no brats running around. I'd never abided well with children, Seta being an exception.
"We kind of, well, switched minds, or bodies, or I don't know. But I'm him and he's me. Or is it… anyway, it's me! Kamatari!" Sawagejo proclaimed tossing his hands up in the air. Was that a… dress. I was so fixated on their behavior I missed the obvious. Not that it mattered. I was now even more convinced that they're all nuts.
I raise a cool brow, or I hoped it wasn't twitching at least, "You wish for me to believe that you are Honjo-san?"
"Absolutely." He beamed, "You took that well."
"You should be committed to a mental institution." I reply flatly.
"'Ell no!"
"Hehe, that's funny! Listen to the pot calling the kettle black." He chirped at me. The torturous moron! He thought this was funny? This was a serious issue! "I think Shishio-sama fried too many brain cells!"
"Hoji-san, Kamatari is quite serious. They were cursed by a well."
"Chou-chan pissed it off by giving it trash as an offering." Sawagejo, or was it Honjo, added helpfully. Damn them all!
Hmm, I wasn't overly superstitious, not to mention this sounded extremely unbelievable, but saying, just saying mind you, this was possible… and how the hell were they going to fix it?
"Fix it." I demand threateningly. The frown on my face is much deeper than usual and I think it's going to cause that small V on the forehead to turn into a furrow. Add that to the balding and I certainly wasn't going anywhere in the looks department.
"Ya heard that man, fix it." Sawagejo in Honjo's body said dramatically and pointed an accusing finger.
"But I tooooooooooold you Chou-chan! I don't know how!" Honjo/Sawagejo wailed in a voice that made me cringe. This was apparently the intended effect because he grinned happily afterwards.
"Perhaps Hoji-san has some ideas." Seta pointed out, his smile looking a bit strained. Not that I blame the boy. This was enough to set anyone's nerves on edge. It made me immensely glad I didn't consort with the peasants and grunts on a daily basis.
I stared at them.
Did I really have any ideas?
Well of course I did.
I am a genius after all.
The first thing that came to mind had absolutely nothing to do with the cure and everything to do with the cause. I needed to analyze the problem before anything else. I wasn't one to just plunge in. No, everything required careful planning. Even bailing these lackwits out of their uncanny situation.
The second thought that came to mind was to throw the whole lot in front of a firing squad. That would take care of everything but the bodies.
"Well, you see," And if he didn't stop saying that I was going to smack him. No, I didn't see. That's why the idiot was telling me what happened. So I could apply that information into a mental picture and figure out their mess. "Chou-chan and I were waiting by this well and I was teasing him because he didn't let me finish shopping. Well, he didn't take that too well and er, refused to offer the well money. So he tossed down his food wrapper instead. Next thing we know, Sou-chan has come to retrieve us and we'd apparently been knocked out for an hour or two. In each others bodies of course."
Pressing knuckles to my forehead I silently made myself count to thirteen. Ten counts to calm down, two counts to curb my low tolerance for halfwits, and one to par my answer down to something they'd actually understand with their miniscule brains.
"Are you absolutely daft or just masochistic?" I asked, addressing the one I was assuming was Sawagejo.
"'Taint like I KNEW that was gonna happen." He pouted and I bit back the urge to shake him until he flopped around like a rag doll.
"You should have." I accused, clenching my hands against my clothing instead of his neck. "You are apparently as stupid as you are accused of being."
And when exactly did Honjo become bald? I must truly be losing my mind because I swear not an hour or so ago he had a full head full of hair! If I were the sort of person to be affected by other people's looks, I might very well be very disturbed. As it was, I'm not, and it was only mildly disturbing… and stare-drawing… I really needed to stop that.
"You." I pointed out the not-anymore-but-actually-cross-dresser, "I want to hear your ideas. You seem at least slightly more intelligent that him."
"Hmm, well, if I remember the conversation we were having, I said he was a big jerk and I wished he would figure out how it was like to be me." There was a pause of unwanted revelation followed by a quick intake of breath, "And Chou wished I'd stop being so weird! It's all his fault for real!"
"No it ain't!" He howled immediately.
I crushed a fist to my temple not-so-lightly. This was giving me a massive headache. Was I simply surrounded by stupidity? …And that hair was… pink… in pigtails? Gaaaaaaaaaaah! It only confirmed that they were insane. Although it was actually a nice shade of pi—noooooooooooo! They've infected me! The stupidity has infected me!
"Shishio-sama MUST NOT find out about this." I hiss and they all jump. Whirling on my heel I start to pace. He couldn't find out about this… this… this fiasco! I'd die before I let that happen!
"He won't." Honjo assured me. Somehow I wasn't reassured at all. Foolproof plans were all well and good until you added a fool. With two, disaster was guaranteed.
The solution seemed rather simple to me. They made friends, I cringed at that word, and all was better. It was so ridiculously easy. I failed to see how they hadn't broke the curse yet. After all, how difficult was it to be… friends?
And who the hell was that girl?
I really needed to stop my narrow-minded, blinders on thinking. Otherwise I was going to run into the proverbial pole. Or the not-so-proverbial young woman who I'd almost tripped over.
She gave a clumsy acknowledgement of respect and hastily tried to back up. In the end she ended up hiding behind Honjo's body.
"Who is that?"
"Oh, that's Chou's under-aged—mmph!" Once again, Seta is the only child I could tolerate. Now if only he'd just jam his fist down the fool's throat and rip out his voice box. I think we'd all be happier for it.
"Oh never mind!" I say, throwing my hands up in exasperation. I didn't care. Why did I ask?
"He's scary." The girl whimpered, probably thinking I was too engaged in a mental breakdown to hear her.
"He's too smart fer his own good." Sawagejo uttered.
"I think Hoji-san is great!" Honjo piped up loudly, "As we speak he's coming up with a great, diabolical plot to make us become the best of friends! Never mind that Chou-chan shunned my offer earlier."
What.
I turned on Sawagejo, deadly calm, "Why."
"I don' wanna be his friend." He pouted like a five-year-old child.
"So that's what Kamatari said!" Seta called out and the nameless girl nodded, "That wasn't dirty. Chou-kun, why didn't you say yes?"
"I… but…"
"Well?"
Four pairs of expectant eyes latched on him.
"Yes, Chou-san, wouldn't you like to tell them why you rejected my generous offer?" Honjo said sweetly, dropping the –chan.
"Uh."
This seemed simple to fix.
Make the blockhead accept and viola! They were friends, the curse would be broke, and we could all go back to our pathetically serious, morbid existences.
"Say yes."
"'Ell no! Why would I wan' ta be HIS friend?"
Honjo gave a slight sniffle and turned away.
"Kamatari--." Seta started and the nameless girl whirled on Chou, "Chou-kun, you're being so mean! Don't you want to get along?"
"No! I don't!" He snapped, running a hand across the disturbingly bare top of his head. Normally I believe myself above such petty observations and discomforts, but something about that just resonated WRONG. "And ya can't make meh."
I half-expected another raspberry. Such childish people I am forced to work with. So degrading.
The sniffle was now turning into shoulder shaking.
"Why not?" Seta asked, walking towards the soon-to-be bawling, yes I was sure it would be bawling… or maybe sobbing? Blubbering. Yes, blubbering.
"Why should I? Lookit meh hair! Lookit what he did ta meh hair!" The displaced Sawagejo ranted and pointed accusingly. "'Side from that, he's a freak! And he abducted meh babies!"
The shoulder shaking had gotten quite a bit harder and there were now snuffling noises.
"Kamatari, are you okay?" Seta asked, putting a hand on the taller man's shoulder.
The maniac turned around with a wicked look in his eye before falling over laughing. Tears were coming out of his eyes. Seriously, I'd never seen someone so afflicted before in my messed up life.
"YOU'RE hair? Are you friggin' daft? All you got was a dye job. Who shaved my FUCKING head?"
The other people in the room all had their jaws hanging down in shock. I was surprised to find my mouth copying their moronic actions.
Seta regained his voice first, "Kamatari… you… you…"
"Cussed! Halla-fuckin'-luh! Ya ain't no saint now!" This was going to get dangerous. My self-preservation instincts were screaming red. "Ya started the whole dam' thing anyway! I was justa innocen' by-stander."
"Innocent my ass! You're guilty as sin."
Nameless girl commented quietly, "He said another one."
"I think he's going to rant." Seta replied in awe.
"Fuck ya!"
"No, FUCK YOU. And you can kiss my ASS." This was accompanied by a rather angry, not to mention vulgar, motion.
"Go ta HELL, ya side-show freak."
"I'll see you there, asshole."
"Now, now, that does not seem very friendly." Seta chimed in fearfully and shrank back when both glared at him.
Again, I didn't know much about this "friendship" thing, but it did seem out of sorts for them to be cussing each other out like a pair of drunken, foreign sailors, just short of a serious fistfight.
"Shut up!"
Both stop to look at me. They better not glare.
Luckily for them they have radioactive expressions, but not at me. Which is all I care about anyway. Let them slaver and bark at each other all they want, as long as they acknowledge a master.
"Better." I give my level glare that generally scares the riff raff. I did not expect it to work overly much with this lot. They were apparently far more stupid that the usual. "Now, make friends."
"Yes, kiss and make-out." Honjo sneered sweetly, making puckering motions. "Because you're in my body now, ba-by."
"Fuck ya."
"So limited." Honjo tsked, "Why don't you be a little creative? Something like, you know, I've always hated you, so let's just go around back and let me…"
"I'm not liste'!" Sawagejo shrieked, clapping his hands over his ears and singing some awful tune. As immature as it seemed, I caught myself trying to do the same thing.
"…Feed you some poison." Honjo finished.
"That was lame." The girl said reprovingly with a sniff.
"Lame, but not nasty. Unless you want "Chou-kun" to do what you were thinking, huh?"
The girl turned bright red and started choking for no apparent reason.
"Lalalala!"
"Oh give it a rest, will you? Stop tormenting our ear drums with your off-key whimpering." Honjo snapped and a short punch to the shoulder accompanied his words. "It's mind-numbing."
"Ya shut up!"
"Hey, I'm not the one refusing to cooperate here! You're the one being Mr. High-and-Freaking-Mighty, not me. I tried to play nice. I didn't dye your hair pink on purpose and I didn't pawn your weapons and I didn't try to make you something your not. Although, maybe you've been improved now. I certainly couldn't have made you worse!"
"I ain't seen that so-called "generosity" yet." Sawagejo snarled, shaking with rage, "All I've seen is a freak who can't keep his paws off 'n' who hasta harass people ta death!"
"See? You're being stereotypical again! Have I ever called you a dumb brute or a sword-toting sadist? Have I ever even "coped a feel"?"
"You've called meh lotsa other things." He retorted.
"True, but you deserved those!"
"Like 'ell I did."
"… This is stupid." Honjo turned towards me, "He's not listening to me. And I'm sick of him. Why don't we just tell Shishio-sama what happened? I'm sure he could figure something out."
"No! Shishio-sama must never find out about this!" I hollered frantically.
"Find out about what."
"Hi Yumi-san. Um, about nothing." Seta said guiltily.
I just glowered. Just want we needed in the middle of this mess. That woman.
Apparently Honjo felt the same way.
"Go away. No one wants you here, ugly hag."
A/N: Look, another chapter! I really need to hurry up and finish this because I have a tendency to start things. Anyway, this chapter was a blast to write, but you can tell where I left off and couldn't pick it back up x.X Sorry about that. Hope you enjoyed Hoji's pov. Also, "kiss my ass" is one of my aunt's favorite sayings when she's peeved, so that's credit to her -
Wistful-Eyes: wouldn't suck to have a phobia of bald men? Umm, I can't really think of bald-bald people in RK.
They were all absolutely insane. Bonkers, crazy, cracked up, bananas, zany, outlandish… That was the only explanation. It's the only conceivable one anyhow because I am obviously quite sane. The possibility that I am the one off my rocker is non-existent.
"Hoji-san!"
I am still very confused. Very well, I will play their little game, whatever it may be, as long as they see fit to explain the rules. Then maybe I will find out what foolishness has seized them and make it right!
"Yes?"
"You're alright! We were so worried."
And that was so grossly out of character for the blond sword-collector I nearly swooned. This was a very sick game.
"I am not "alright" as you put it." I huff indignantly, "You people have been childish long enough. Tell me what is going on."
"But Hoji-san…" He whined.
"Right now." I say firmly. This better be fast. I had more plotting to do and that required that I have privacy. After all, who wants to plot with a group of immature fighters horsing around? I was not too surprised to see Honjo there, nor Sawagejo, but usually Seta was a sensible boy.
"I really don't think you can handle it…" I cut Sawagejo off with a sharp glare. Such insolence! I recall him being mouthy, but never so sickeningly polite about it.
Seta looked between us and suggested to Sawagejo, "You should probably tell him."
That's right. They better tell me!
"Fin'." Honjo sneered… wait, sneered? Before I could figure that out he continued, "Hope ya have a mental breakdown too."
Such blatant disrespect! Apparently they've been far too accustomed to the freedom Shishio-sama has granted them. I must have a word with him about that. Such dogs should never be allowed to run loose.
"Umm, well, you see."
"Would ya stop hemmin' and hawin' and tell 'im?"
"I'm getting there!" Sawagejo snapped back, sticking out his tongue in the most ridiculous fashion I'd ever seen. Dirty urchins from the street were more dignified. "Anyway, you see, Chou-chan and I have a slight dilemia here."
CHOU-CHAN? Who in the world was this CHOU-CHAN he was babbling about now? I certainly hoped there were no brats running around. I'd never abided well with children, Seta being an exception.
"We kind of, well, switched minds, or bodies, or I don't know. But I'm him and he's me. Or is it… anyway, it's me! Kamatari!" Sawagejo proclaimed tossing his hands up in the air. Was that a… dress. I was so fixated on their behavior I missed the obvious. Not that it mattered. I was now even more convinced that they're all nuts.
I raise a cool brow, or I hoped it wasn't twitching at least, "You wish for me to believe that you are Honjo-san?"
"Absolutely." He beamed, "You took that well."
"You should be committed to a mental institution." I reply flatly.
"'Ell no!"
"Hehe, that's funny! Listen to the pot calling the kettle black." He chirped at me. The torturous moron! He thought this was funny? This was a serious issue! "I think Shishio-sama fried too many brain cells!"
"Hoji-san, Kamatari is quite serious. They were cursed by a well."
"Chou-chan pissed it off by giving it trash as an offering." Sawagejo, or was it Honjo, added helpfully. Damn them all!
Hmm, I wasn't overly superstitious, not to mention this sounded extremely unbelievable, but saying, just saying mind you, this was possible… and how the hell were they going to fix it?
"Fix it." I demand threateningly. The frown on my face is much deeper than usual and I think it's going to cause that small V on the forehead to turn into a furrow. Add that to the balding and I certainly wasn't going anywhere in the looks department.
"Ya heard that man, fix it." Sawagejo in Honjo's body said dramatically and pointed an accusing finger.
"But I tooooooooooold you Chou-chan! I don't know how!" Honjo/Sawagejo wailed in a voice that made me cringe. This was apparently the intended effect because he grinned happily afterwards.
"Perhaps Hoji-san has some ideas." Seta pointed out, his smile looking a bit strained. Not that I blame the boy. This was enough to set anyone's nerves on edge. It made me immensely glad I didn't consort with the peasants and grunts on a daily basis.
I stared at them.
Did I really have any ideas?
Well of course I did.
I am a genius after all.
The first thing that came to mind had absolutely nothing to do with the cure and everything to do with the cause. I needed to analyze the problem before anything else. I wasn't one to just plunge in. No, everything required careful planning. Even bailing these lackwits out of their uncanny situation.
The second thought that came to mind was to throw the whole lot in front of a firing squad. That would take care of everything but the bodies.
"Well, you see," And if he didn't stop saying that I was going to smack him. No, I didn't see. That's why the idiot was telling me what happened. So I could apply that information into a mental picture and figure out their mess. "Chou-chan and I were waiting by this well and I was teasing him because he didn't let me finish shopping. Well, he didn't take that too well and er, refused to offer the well money. So he tossed down his food wrapper instead. Next thing we know, Sou-chan has come to retrieve us and we'd apparently been knocked out for an hour or two. In each others bodies of course."
Pressing knuckles to my forehead I silently made myself count to thirteen. Ten counts to calm down, two counts to curb my low tolerance for halfwits, and one to par my answer down to something they'd actually understand with their miniscule brains.
"Are you absolutely daft or just masochistic?" I asked, addressing the one I was assuming was Sawagejo.
"'Taint like I KNEW that was gonna happen." He pouted and I bit back the urge to shake him until he flopped around like a rag doll.
"You should have." I accused, clenching my hands against my clothing instead of his neck. "You are apparently as stupid as you are accused of being."
And when exactly did Honjo become bald? I must truly be losing my mind because I swear not an hour or so ago he had a full head full of hair! If I were the sort of person to be affected by other people's looks, I might very well be very disturbed. As it was, I'm not, and it was only mildly disturbing… and stare-drawing… I really needed to stop that.
"You." I pointed out the not-anymore-but-actually-cross-dresser, "I want to hear your ideas. You seem at least slightly more intelligent that him."
"Hmm, well, if I remember the conversation we were having, I said he was a big jerk and I wished he would figure out how it was like to be me." There was a pause of unwanted revelation followed by a quick intake of breath, "And Chou wished I'd stop being so weird! It's all his fault for real!"
"No it ain't!" He howled immediately.
I crushed a fist to my temple not-so-lightly. This was giving me a massive headache. Was I simply surrounded by stupidity? …And that hair was… pink… in pigtails? Gaaaaaaaaaaah! It only confirmed that they were insane. Although it was actually a nice shade of pi—noooooooooooo! They've infected me! The stupidity has infected me!
"Shishio-sama MUST NOT find out about this." I hiss and they all jump. Whirling on my heel I start to pace. He couldn't find out about this… this… this fiasco! I'd die before I let that happen!
"He won't." Honjo assured me. Somehow I wasn't reassured at all. Foolproof plans were all well and good until you added a fool. With two, disaster was guaranteed.
The solution seemed rather simple to me. They made friends, I cringed at that word, and all was better. It was so ridiculously easy. I failed to see how they hadn't broke the curse yet. After all, how difficult was it to be… friends?
And who the hell was that girl?
I really needed to stop my narrow-minded, blinders on thinking. Otherwise I was going to run into the proverbial pole. Or the not-so-proverbial young woman who I'd almost tripped over.
She gave a clumsy acknowledgement of respect and hastily tried to back up. In the end she ended up hiding behind Honjo's body.
"Who is that?"
"Oh, that's Chou's under-aged—mmph!" Once again, Seta is the only child I could tolerate. Now if only he'd just jam his fist down the fool's throat and rip out his voice box. I think we'd all be happier for it.
"Oh never mind!" I say, throwing my hands up in exasperation. I didn't care. Why did I ask?
"He's scary." The girl whimpered, probably thinking I was too engaged in a mental breakdown to hear her.
"He's too smart fer his own good." Sawagejo uttered.
"I think Hoji-san is great!" Honjo piped up loudly, "As we speak he's coming up with a great, diabolical plot to make us become the best of friends! Never mind that Chou-chan shunned my offer earlier."
What.
I turned on Sawagejo, deadly calm, "Why."
"I don' wanna be his friend." He pouted like a five-year-old child.
"So that's what Kamatari said!" Seta called out and the nameless girl nodded, "That wasn't dirty. Chou-kun, why didn't you say yes?"
"I… but…"
"Well?"
Four pairs of expectant eyes latched on him.
"Yes, Chou-san, wouldn't you like to tell them why you rejected my generous offer?" Honjo said sweetly, dropping the –chan.
"Uh."
This seemed simple to fix.
Make the blockhead accept and viola! They were friends, the curse would be broke, and we could all go back to our pathetically serious, morbid existences.
"Say yes."
"'Ell no! Why would I wan' ta be HIS friend?"
Honjo gave a slight sniffle and turned away.
"Kamatari--." Seta started and the nameless girl whirled on Chou, "Chou-kun, you're being so mean! Don't you want to get along?"
"No! I don't!" He snapped, running a hand across the disturbingly bare top of his head. Normally I believe myself above such petty observations and discomforts, but something about that just resonated WRONG. "And ya can't make meh."
I half-expected another raspberry. Such childish people I am forced to work with. So degrading.
The sniffle was now turning into shoulder shaking.
"Why not?" Seta asked, walking towards the soon-to-be bawling, yes I was sure it would be bawling… or maybe sobbing? Blubbering. Yes, blubbering.
"Why should I? Lookit meh hair! Lookit what he did ta meh hair!" The displaced Sawagejo ranted and pointed accusingly. "'Side from that, he's a freak! And he abducted meh babies!"
The shoulder shaking had gotten quite a bit harder and there were now snuffling noises.
"Kamatari, are you okay?" Seta asked, putting a hand on the taller man's shoulder.
The maniac turned around with a wicked look in his eye before falling over laughing. Tears were coming out of his eyes. Seriously, I'd never seen someone so afflicted before in my messed up life.
"YOU'RE hair? Are you friggin' daft? All you got was a dye job. Who shaved my FUCKING head?"
The other people in the room all had their jaws hanging down in shock. I was surprised to find my mouth copying their moronic actions.
Seta regained his voice first, "Kamatari… you… you…"
"Cussed! Halla-fuckin'-luh! Ya ain't no saint now!" This was going to get dangerous. My self-preservation instincts were screaming red. "Ya started the whole dam' thing anyway! I was justa innocen' by-stander."
"Innocent my ass! You're guilty as sin."
Nameless girl commented quietly, "He said another one."
"I think he's going to rant." Seta replied in awe.
"Fuck ya!"
"No, FUCK YOU. And you can kiss my ASS." This was accompanied by a rather angry, not to mention vulgar, motion.
"Go ta HELL, ya side-show freak."
"I'll see you there, asshole."
"Now, now, that does not seem very friendly." Seta chimed in fearfully and shrank back when both glared at him.
Again, I didn't know much about this "friendship" thing, but it did seem out of sorts for them to be cussing each other out like a pair of drunken, foreign sailors, just short of a serious fistfight.
"Shut up!"
Both stop to look at me. They better not glare.
Luckily for them they have radioactive expressions, but not at me. Which is all I care about anyway. Let them slaver and bark at each other all they want, as long as they acknowledge a master.
"Better." I give my level glare that generally scares the riff raff. I did not expect it to work overly much with this lot. They were apparently far more stupid that the usual. "Now, make friends."
"Yes, kiss and make-out." Honjo sneered sweetly, making puckering motions. "Because you're in my body now, ba-by."
"Fuck ya."
"So limited." Honjo tsked, "Why don't you be a little creative? Something like, you know, I've always hated you, so let's just go around back and let me…"
"I'm not liste'!" Sawagejo shrieked, clapping his hands over his ears and singing some awful tune. As immature as it seemed, I caught myself trying to do the same thing.
"…Feed you some poison." Honjo finished.
"That was lame." The girl said reprovingly with a sniff.
"Lame, but not nasty. Unless you want "Chou-kun" to do what you were thinking, huh?"
The girl turned bright red and started choking for no apparent reason.
"Lalalala!"
"Oh give it a rest, will you? Stop tormenting our ear drums with your off-key whimpering." Honjo snapped and a short punch to the shoulder accompanied his words. "It's mind-numbing."
"Ya shut up!"
"Hey, I'm not the one refusing to cooperate here! You're the one being Mr. High-and-Freaking-Mighty, not me. I tried to play nice. I didn't dye your hair pink on purpose and I didn't pawn your weapons and I didn't try to make you something your not. Although, maybe you've been improved now. I certainly couldn't have made you worse!"
"I ain't seen that so-called "generosity" yet." Sawagejo snarled, shaking with rage, "All I've seen is a freak who can't keep his paws off 'n' who hasta harass people ta death!"
"See? You're being stereotypical again! Have I ever called you a dumb brute or a sword-toting sadist? Have I ever even "coped a feel"?"
"You've called meh lotsa other things." He retorted.
"True, but you deserved those!"
"Like 'ell I did."
"… This is stupid." Honjo turned towards me, "He's not listening to me. And I'm sick of him. Why don't we just tell Shishio-sama what happened? I'm sure he could figure something out."
"No! Shishio-sama must never find out about this!" I hollered frantically.
"Find out about what."
"Hi Yumi-san. Um, about nothing." Seta said guiltily.
I just glowered. Just want we needed in the middle of this mess. That woman.
Apparently Honjo felt the same way.
"Go away. No one wants you here, ugly hag."
A/N: Look, another chapter! I really need to hurry up and finish this because I have a tendency to start things. Anyway, this chapter was a blast to write, but you can tell where I left off and couldn't pick it back up x.X Sorry about that. Hope you enjoyed Hoji's pov. Also, "kiss my ass" is one of my aunt's favorite sayings when she's peeved, so that's credit to her -
Wistful-Eyes: wouldn't suck to have a phobia of bald men? Umm, I can't really think of bald-bald people in RK.
