Chapter Eight
I stared between them.
What didn't they want Shishio-sama to find out?
I glared suspiciously at Kamatari and was very surprised to see a young girl peering out from behind him. She looked at me curiously, but didn't say anything. What was really odd about it was I knew Kamatari had a pet peeve about being touched by females. I won many early battles using that tactic against him.
"None of your business, you witch." Chou retorted and glared.
Now Chou wasn't a gentleman in any sense of the word, but he'd never been so blatantly… rude. At least not to me. Or at least not after the first time he tried it and I left his ears ringing and his eyes crossed.
It was sad when most men could only be communicated with by physical violence. "You should be nice Kamatari." Sou-chan reproved. Did I hear that right? Biting my lip, I didn't voice my confusion. Obviously I had walked into the middle of a crisis, and considering everyone's odd behavior from earlier I wasn't sure I wanted to wade in any deeper.
"I don't see any reason to be nice to that man-stealing whore."
"Woah boy, 'e's on a streak." Soujirou nodded in agreement and muttered, "I believe he is."
Chou glared at the pair. There was something familiar about that glare. Creepy familiar. Almost as if…
"You're Kamatari!" I yelped and pointed accusingly. He looked at me with half-lidded eyes and I knew I was right. No one else could be that intensely loathful! "What are you doing in Chou's body?"
A sly grin crossed his face, "I would think you'd be happy Doll. I'm not competition in this man's body. Why don't you go celebrate?" Oh no, he wasn't getting rid of me that easily. I wanted to know what exactly was going on. And I wanted to know right now.
"What exactly is going on?" I asked, echoing my thoughts, and fixed Chou with a baleful glare. It was no secret that both Kamatari and Hoji didn't like me, which was just fine. I didn't like them either. At least Chou was unbiased; unless his pride got in the way he would probably answer me. Assuming I could understand his explanation through the accent.
"'Ell, ya see…"
"…It's none of your business woman." Kamatari cut in.
I smirk and tap my lips coyly, "Then maybe it's Shishio-sama's business?" I would have laughed at Hoji's panicked face if it wouldn't spoil what I was angling at. Instead I hid my smile behind my hand and hair.
"No, that's not necessary. Shishio-sama doesn't need to be bothered by such…" the bald man glanced over at the two switched and twitched spastically, "Trivial things. We've almost fixed the problem in any case."
"We 'ave?"
"Shut up you dimwit." Hoji hissed in annoyance and smashed his forehead against a near by wall. I noticed that I wasn't the only one who winced at the sound of bone against solid surface. "Why? Why? Why?"
"We didn't ask you to help." Kamatari pouted. It was a disturbing look on his natural face, but a grotesque one on Chou's. I decided this could be extremely amusing if I was willing to risk my mental health. Oh whatever, I was already damned, this was more than worth a little more sin on my soul. "You just jumped in and ordered Chou-chan to be my friend. Of course, I don't think you've had a friend in your whole life… umm, but that's not my problem."
"You… you…!"
"I'm cranky and if you want to see a bigger bitch than that woman over there, push me. I. Dare. You." Kamatari breezed. You have to hand it to the guy, he certainly knew how to act.
"Ooo." The girl said, looking impressed. Please. Kamatari may talk the talk, but he didn't know anything worthwhile about being the biggest bitch on the planet. Of course, if he thought even attempting to do that would get him anything, he was sorely mistaken.
"So, you actually have a solution?" I said putting an edge of disgust in my tone. "How did all of this come about anyway? You two must have been messing around with something you shouldn't have."
I gave a pointed look at Kamatari, stating that that was nothing out of the usual for him. He was always pawing around where he shouldn't be. Namely on Shishio-sama.
"Of course we weren't. How suspicious of you!" The cross-dresser replied and rolled his eyes. His mouth twitched with a mirthless grin and he pointed to Chou, "That fellow over there decided it would be funny to throw a wrap in a well as an offering. Oh, and not to mention the sign that specifically warned against it! He simply has no respect for anything except himself and his babies."
BABIES! Somehow he didn't strike me as a very responsible father-type. I pity the poor children… hell, I pity the mother too.
"That ain't true!"
"Really? What else then? Oh, tormenting innocents and talking out your rump?"
I blinked in surprise. I'd never seen Kamatari be so… vicious. Well, yes, I had. But I'd never seen him behave that way towards someone other than me. Aww, now I didn't feel special anymore. Uh-huh.
"Well, I should help you two become…" I paused delicately, just long enough to insinuate quite a bit, "Friends."
"No, you won't. He's not my type." "What are you two talking about!" Chou fumed.
I flashed him a demure smile, cackling wickedly inside. This was going to be fun. How could I ever have missed this?
"First off, don't you need some male bonding time?" Like I'd know.
"No."
"'Ell no. Why would I want ta spen' time wit' 'im?"
"But if you don't know each other…"
"I know him well enough. He's a close-minded bigot who lives off his astronomical ego and an unhealthy passion for swords." Chou looked decidedly confused at those big words before deciding they actually were an insult and retorted, "And yer nothin' but a nosy freak who can't do anythin' right fer anyone! Wishy-washy and useless!"
Staring between them, I realized that this was actually quite ugly. I wonder how long they actually resented each other? Then I wondered why in the world I wanted them to kiss-and-uncurse? This seemed much more advantageous, with Kamatari not only unappealing, but also too busy fighting to bother me.
"I give up!" Hoji wailed off in the corner and another sharp crack rang out. "We're doomed! They're too stupid to realize their own dooms… they might as well be animals raised for slaughter. Stupid, stupid animals who are good for nothing but food."
Soujirou nodded in agreement, taking Hoji literally, "The strong eat the weak. If you are weak then that is your purpose in life. I hope you are not weak, since I have taken a liking to you."
Sometimes that kid gave me shivers.
"Chou-kun isn't weak!"
"Darling," I fixed the girl with a look, "Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Your Chou-kun has just made himself extremely vulnerable because they're being exploited by circumstance."
The girl just blinked. Great, I'm talking to a walking vegetable. But then again, considering her very obvious crush, I shouldn't have been surprised.
"Paring down Yumi-darling's excellent speech: your boyfriend is a dumbass and is too proud to fix it."
"Oh. Hey, he's not a dumbass!" Whoosh, and the point flew right over her head. Somehow I got the feeling she was pranked mercilessly as a child.
I turned on Kamatari. This wasn't a time for me to be selfish, as much as I wanted to. After all, a woman's life was all about sacrifice. Now wasn't the time to be pursuing a dispute. Shishio-sama needed his fighters sound of body… and mind, maybe not, but definitely of body. Basically he needed to be able to use them. It was a fact that gave me no little comfort. So I'm selfish; isn't everyone?
"You! If you're so smart why haven't you taken measures to correct this problem? How can Shishio-sama count on you people when you're either too immature or too prideful to be of any use? This burns my tongue, but he NEEDS you."
Chou raised an eyebrow, unimpressed, "Dull swords don't cut well, eh?" How insightful.
I shrugged, "Exactly." I wasn't going to soften my words; that wasn't doing anyone any favors.
Kamatari cast me a look I couldn't figure out until I realized it was the same one that haunted my mirror on occasion. The one where I felt so helpless and wrong. It didn't incline me to feel any pity for my enemy; I wasn't that sort of person. I didn't get to where I was in my old life by considering other people's feelings and I wasn't a habit I was inclined to pick up now. I did, however, get a very good gauge of how far he would go to serve his love. And who here was supposed to gain respect for who? I don't remember being part of this curse, yet here I was, doing far better than the bonehead who was sitting over there looking sullen. If only I knew how to motivate him.
"Of course all of that is true." Kamatari said carefully, looking thoughtful, "And I don't mind being a tool. If I'm going to be one I might as well be tempered steel, right? If you're going to do something, do it right, be the best. You're in my way Chou."
"Meh?" "Yeah, you. I can't do a dang thing in this body!" Kamatari squealed and jumped the other man making me roll my eyes. Men. The fleeting attention spans were truly amazing in my opinion.
"Geroff!" Chou raged, trying to push the bigger, heavier body off of him.
It was funny how I could keep them apart, especially when Mister I'm a Genius seemed to be having a breakdown. Then again, I saw things for what they were. It was a gift and a curse and inherently part of me.
"Just admit it! I'm not such a bad person!" Kamatari demanded, his fingers questing. They paused and started to do damage.
"St- st- ooooooo-p!" "No way! It's tickle torture for you!" "Get off Chou-kun!" The girl screeched and dived on the pair of them.
Hoji stared over with a blistering look before he aimed a kick at the mass of wiggling flesh. Unfortunately for him a hand shot out of the pile, clutched his ankle, and dragged him in, which made him scream for help, which Soujirou, being such an overly obliging boy, responded to and bent over. That was all it took to make a giant dog pile.
Only half mindful of the mess just a few feet away, I considered. What would convince Chou to abandon his hard-clung to opinion? Unless we were lucky and he would just randomly snap, he would need to be convinced. Except I think it was pegged well when Kamatari said he just cared for himself. I had seen it too many times in the past, and maybe felt it too, not to recognize it.
"Gaaah!" Chou sputtered and escaped… right under my dress.
One hefty, not to mention well-deserved, kick later he was staring dizzily up at me. I wasn't even going to ask about the lack of hair, which would now be turning a lovely shade of purple.
"Why'd ya do that?" He sputtered.
"You know why."
"T'aint like it's nothin' I ain't never seen 'fore." He muttered balefully and rubbed the tender spot. "Although, ya know…"
"More men have seen me than woman have seen you. I don't need to hear what would come out of your mouth next." I said, cutting him off. He looked properly rebuked and shut his mouth. How crude.
"Looking up lady's, and I use the word rather loosely here, dresses now? You're going to completely tarnish my reputation!" Kamatari chided, looking rather displeased. Probably he was unhappy about his bruised head. "I should make you pay for that."
"Go 'head, I dare ya!" He snarled back.
"Boys, and I do mean boys, is the world all about being macho for you two? To me it seems like you have much more pressing problems." I reprimanded. Hmph, since when was I their mother? I almost wished I were, if only to paddle their rears.
"I'm just pointing it out." Kamatari remarked airily, trying to sneak around me to get at Chou. I shot out a hand and did something I've always want to do!
SMACK!
"Hey!" He yelped and jumped back like I'd electrocuted him (if only). He rubbed his dishonored head and glared.
"Do you need a time out?" I asked with underlying glee. Just try me again, I secretly urged.
"No… you're a mean mommy!" He glared, "I promise to be good! Promise, promise!"
"Sure." Chou snorted skeptically.
"Doomed!"
"I think Hoji-san may have a point." Soujirou agreed.
I sighed.
Usually I didn't mind being surrounded by males, but this time… sigh.
"Listen, I don't have time to sit here and make you two behave." I grumble, suddenly losing interest in this whole thing. It was a big headache.
Kamatari shrugged, "My offer still stands. After all, everyone needs a friend." I could think of several people who didn't, starting with Hoji, but I didn't voice that out loud. We were trying to get Chou to comply. If that made me a 'yes man' for the moment, I'd happily, not really happily, go along with it. For a time anyway.
"Chou-kun has friends." The girl defended stoutly.
"Sure, Chou-chan, Chou-kun, and Chou-san."
"Kamatari!"
"What? It's true. He's a perfect example of a self-contained egotist. He doesn't think he needs friends because they won't always agree with him. He doesn't want a friend per se, just a lacky… well, in theory? Three words: get a dog."
Chou seemed to consider this and finally cautiously said, "And that's… bad?"
"No."
"It seems lonely."
"Sure, why not?"
"You're too stupid to have friends."
Yes, that last one was Hoji.
He glared between us, "Ya ain't got an answer."
"There is no answer." I tell him. "It's called an opinion. Get one."
"Oh, I think he has plenty of opinions. In fact, he's quite opinionated, aren't you Chou-chan!"
"Would ya stop that?"
"See? An opinion. He doesn't like –chan being added to the end of his name. Even though I think it's kind of cute."
"It would be better if he were a dumb rock." Hoji grumbled, looking worse for wear with his acquaintance with the wall. "Then he'd just agree and Shishio-sama would never find out about this folly."
"Fin'! Just stop naggin' meh!" Chou exploded. "Fin', I'll be yer friend, 'kay? Ya hear that Kami? We're all buddy-buddy now!"
Kamatari cocked his pink-haired head and said deliberately, "Say it only if you really mean it."
Chou made a face.
"And you owe me some apologies."
"Don't push it."
"You do!" Kamatari pouted, "And I apologies for the numerous insults and hiding your swords and calling you –chan even though I knew you hated it. Forgive me?"
This was the crucial point. If he said no, well, screw it to hell. They'd never be more than casual enemies. But if somehow Chou could click the cogs in his brain and decide to set aside some pride, we might actually make it through this!
He looked around with a grumpy expression. Soujirou nodded encouraging while Chou's little girl friend looked slightly miffed about the whole thing. Kamatari looked hopeful and I bit back a snort. That was one thing I couldn't stand about him: his optimism.
"Fin'."
"Yay!" Kamatari screeched and dashed towards Chou joyously.
An advance with Chou gracelessly avoided. Not that it mattered because Kamatari went flying past him in a daring tackle. I say daring because if that little demon had done that at any other time I would have killed him… I may still kill him!
Two strong arms latched around MY Shishio-sama and a face buried in MY Shishio-sama's robes. If that wasn't grounds for murder I don't know what is.
"Wha' the fu--." Chou's wail in Kamatari's voice was cut off and abruptly relocated across the room, slightly muffed. Funny, I would have thought there'd be a magical flash of light or something. "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! Kamatari I'm gonna fuckin' KILL ya!"
Guess not.
A/N: yay, the end . Don't kill me... Don't you hate it when you know what you want to do, but can't make it work? I rewrote this stupid ending so many times... Also, if Yumi seems off... consider the fact I haven't written a female POV since May-- Anyway, thanks everyone for the R&R (or even just the R). Sorry it was so late. MA had to e-mail me to make sure I was still alive and that kind of made me finish this. I'm sinking in three out of four classes ( I HATE discussion classes and math --). Lalala, okay, I need to finish Strays, don't I? And TPT... and geez... -wanders off-
Carrie the Open Minded: Naw, don't say that! I'm sure you'd of done an awesome job with it . -wrinkles nose- Yeah, the lipstick is kind of offputting. LOL, an idea you say?
Wistful-Eyes: You get a cookie for the most constant reviewer (::) -hopes cookie shows up- And I'll remind you that YOU'RE to blame for this ending X.X Poor Shishio, that's his cameo.
Darkygurl11: Glad you like it -
unicornfan: Kamatari is one of my fav characters, and I don't know why! Maybe because I tend to like underdogs. Nuriko is so funny! I've only read the first two manga and I'm trying to find time to watch some of the anime, but he's great! I think my fav. line was "I have the spirit of a woman!"
I stared between them.
What didn't they want Shishio-sama to find out?
I glared suspiciously at Kamatari and was very surprised to see a young girl peering out from behind him. She looked at me curiously, but didn't say anything. What was really odd about it was I knew Kamatari had a pet peeve about being touched by females. I won many early battles using that tactic against him.
"None of your business, you witch." Chou retorted and glared.
Now Chou wasn't a gentleman in any sense of the word, but he'd never been so blatantly… rude. At least not to me. Or at least not after the first time he tried it and I left his ears ringing and his eyes crossed.
It was sad when most men could only be communicated with by physical violence. "You should be nice Kamatari." Sou-chan reproved. Did I hear that right? Biting my lip, I didn't voice my confusion. Obviously I had walked into the middle of a crisis, and considering everyone's odd behavior from earlier I wasn't sure I wanted to wade in any deeper.
"I don't see any reason to be nice to that man-stealing whore."
"Woah boy, 'e's on a streak." Soujirou nodded in agreement and muttered, "I believe he is."
Chou glared at the pair. There was something familiar about that glare. Creepy familiar. Almost as if…
"You're Kamatari!" I yelped and pointed accusingly. He looked at me with half-lidded eyes and I knew I was right. No one else could be that intensely loathful! "What are you doing in Chou's body?"
A sly grin crossed his face, "I would think you'd be happy Doll. I'm not competition in this man's body. Why don't you go celebrate?" Oh no, he wasn't getting rid of me that easily. I wanted to know what exactly was going on. And I wanted to know right now.
"What exactly is going on?" I asked, echoing my thoughts, and fixed Chou with a baleful glare. It was no secret that both Kamatari and Hoji didn't like me, which was just fine. I didn't like them either. At least Chou was unbiased; unless his pride got in the way he would probably answer me. Assuming I could understand his explanation through the accent.
"'Ell, ya see…"
"…It's none of your business woman." Kamatari cut in.
I smirk and tap my lips coyly, "Then maybe it's Shishio-sama's business?" I would have laughed at Hoji's panicked face if it wouldn't spoil what I was angling at. Instead I hid my smile behind my hand and hair.
"No, that's not necessary. Shishio-sama doesn't need to be bothered by such…" the bald man glanced over at the two switched and twitched spastically, "Trivial things. We've almost fixed the problem in any case."
"We 'ave?"
"Shut up you dimwit." Hoji hissed in annoyance and smashed his forehead against a near by wall. I noticed that I wasn't the only one who winced at the sound of bone against solid surface. "Why? Why? Why?"
"We didn't ask you to help." Kamatari pouted. It was a disturbing look on his natural face, but a grotesque one on Chou's. I decided this could be extremely amusing if I was willing to risk my mental health. Oh whatever, I was already damned, this was more than worth a little more sin on my soul. "You just jumped in and ordered Chou-chan to be my friend. Of course, I don't think you've had a friend in your whole life… umm, but that's not my problem."
"You… you…!"
"I'm cranky and if you want to see a bigger bitch than that woman over there, push me. I. Dare. You." Kamatari breezed. You have to hand it to the guy, he certainly knew how to act.
"Ooo." The girl said, looking impressed. Please. Kamatari may talk the talk, but he didn't know anything worthwhile about being the biggest bitch on the planet. Of course, if he thought even attempting to do that would get him anything, he was sorely mistaken.
"So, you actually have a solution?" I said putting an edge of disgust in my tone. "How did all of this come about anyway? You two must have been messing around with something you shouldn't have."
I gave a pointed look at Kamatari, stating that that was nothing out of the usual for him. He was always pawing around where he shouldn't be. Namely on Shishio-sama.
"Of course we weren't. How suspicious of you!" The cross-dresser replied and rolled his eyes. His mouth twitched with a mirthless grin and he pointed to Chou, "That fellow over there decided it would be funny to throw a wrap in a well as an offering. Oh, and not to mention the sign that specifically warned against it! He simply has no respect for anything except himself and his babies."
BABIES! Somehow he didn't strike me as a very responsible father-type. I pity the poor children… hell, I pity the mother too.
"That ain't true!"
"Really? What else then? Oh, tormenting innocents and talking out your rump?"
I blinked in surprise. I'd never seen Kamatari be so… vicious. Well, yes, I had. But I'd never seen him behave that way towards someone other than me. Aww, now I didn't feel special anymore. Uh-huh.
"Well, I should help you two become…" I paused delicately, just long enough to insinuate quite a bit, "Friends."
"No, you won't. He's not my type." "What are you two talking about!" Chou fumed.
I flashed him a demure smile, cackling wickedly inside. This was going to be fun. How could I ever have missed this?
"First off, don't you need some male bonding time?" Like I'd know.
"No."
"'Ell no. Why would I want ta spen' time wit' 'im?"
"But if you don't know each other…"
"I know him well enough. He's a close-minded bigot who lives off his astronomical ego and an unhealthy passion for swords." Chou looked decidedly confused at those big words before deciding they actually were an insult and retorted, "And yer nothin' but a nosy freak who can't do anythin' right fer anyone! Wishy-washy and useless!"
Staring between them, I realized that this was actually quite ugly. I wonder how long they actually resented each other? Then I wondered why in the world I wanted them to kiss-and-uncurse? This seemed much more advantageous, with Kamatari not only unappealing, but also too busy fighting to bother me.
"I give up!" Hoji wailed off in the corner and another sharp crack rang out. "We're doomed! They're too stupid to realize their own dooms… they might as well be animals raised for slaughter. Stupid, stupid animals who are good for nothing but food."
Soujirou nodded in agreement, taking Hoji literally, "The strong eat the weak. If you are weak then that is your purpose in life. I hope you are not weak, since I have taken a liking to you."
Sometimes that kid gave me shivers.
"Chou-kun isn't weak!"
"Darling," I fixed the girl with a look, "Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Your Chou-kun has just made himself extremely vulnerable because they're being exploited by circumstance."
The girl just blinked. Great, I'm talking to a walking vegetable. But then again, considering her very obvious crush, I shouldn't have been surprised.
"Paring down Yumi-darling's excellent speech: your boyfriend is a dumbass and is too proud to fix it."
"Oh. Hey, he's not a dumbass!" Whoosh, and the point flew right over her head. Somehow I got the feeling she was pranked mercilessly as a child.
I turned on Kamatari. This wasn't a time for me to be selfish, as much as I wanted to. After all, a woman's life was all about sacrifice. Now wasn't the time to be pursuing a dispute. Shishio-sama needed his fighters sound of body… and mind, maybe not, but definitely of body. Basically he needed to be able to use them. It was a fact that gave me no little comfort. So I'm selfish; isn't everyone?
"You! If you're so smart why haven't you taken measures to correct this problem? How can Shishio-sama count on you people when you're either too immature or too prideful to be of any use? This burns my tongue, but he NEEDS you."
Chou raised an eyebrow, unimpressed, "Dull swords don't cut well, eh?" How insightful.
I shrugged, "Exactly." I wasn't going to soften my words; that wasn't doing anyone any favors.
Kamatari cast me a look I couldn't figure out until I realized it was the same one that haunted my mirror on occasion. The one where I felt so helpless and wrong. It didn't incline me to feel any pity for my enemy; I wasn't that sort of person. I didn't get to where I was in my old life by considering other people's feelings and I wasn't a habit I was inclined to pick up now. I did, however, get a very good gauge of how far he would go to serve his love. And who here was supposed to gain respect for who? I don't remember being part of this curse, yet here I was, doing far better than the bonehead who was sitting over there looking sullen. If only I knew how to motivate him.
"Of course all of that is true." Kamatari said carefully, looking thoughtful, "And I don't mind being a tool. If I'm going to be one I might as well be tempered steel, right? If you're going to do something, do it right, be the best. You're in my way Chou."
"Meh?" "Yeah, you. I can't do a dang thing in this body!" Kamatari squealed and jumped the other man making me roll my eyes. Men. The fleeting attention spans were truly amazing in my opinion.
"Geroff!" Chou raged, trying to push the bigger, heavier body off of him.
It was funny how I could keep them apart, especially when Mister I'm a Genius seemed to be having a breakdown. Then again, I saw things for what they were. It was a gift and a curse and inherently part of me.
"Just admit it! I'm not such a bad person!" Kamatari demanded, his fingers questing. They paused and started to do damage.
"St- st- ooooooo-p!" "No way! It's tickle torture for you!" "Get off Chou-kun!" The girl screeched and dived on the pair of them.
Hoji stared over with a blistering look before he aimed a kick at the mass of wiggling flesh. Unfortunately for him a hand shot out of the pile, clutched his ankle, and dragged him in, which made him scream for help, which Soujirou, being such an overly obliging boy, responded to and bent over. That was all it took to make a giant dog pile.
Only half mindful of the mess just a few feet away, I considered. What would convince Chou to abandon his hard-clung to opinion? Unless we were lucky and he would just randomly snap, he would need to be convinced. Except I think it was pegged well when Kamatari said he just cared for himself. I had seen it too many times in the past, and maybe felt it too, not to recognize it.
"Gaaah!" Chou sputtered and escaped… right under my dress.
One hefty, not to mention well-deserved, kick later he was staring dizzily up at me. I wasn't even going to ask about the lack of hair, which would now be turning a lovely shade of purple.
"Why'd ya do that?" He sputtered.
"You know why."
"T'aint like it's nothin' I ain't never seen 'fore." He muttered balefully and rubbed the tender spot. "Although, ya know…"
"More men have seen me than woman have seen you. I don't need to hear what would come out of your mouth next." I said, cutting him off. He looked properly rebuked and shut his mouth. How crude.
"Looking up lady's, and I use the word rather loosely here, dresses now? You're going to completely tarnish my reputation!" Kamatari chided, looking rather displeased. Probably he was unhappy about his bruised head. "I should make you pay for that."
"Go 'head, I dare ya!" He snarled back.
"Boys, and I do mean boys, is the world all about being macho for you two? To me it seems like you have much more pressing problems." I reprimanded. Hmph, since when was I their mother? I almost wished I were, if only to paddle their rears.
"I'm just pointing it out." Kamatari remarked airily, trying to sneak around me to get at Chou. I shot out a hand and did something I've always want to do!
SMACK!
"Hey!" He yelped and jumped back like I'd electrocuted him (if only). He rubbed his dishonored head and glared.
"Do you need a time out?" I asked with underlying glee. Just try me again, I secretly urged.
"No… you're a mean mommy!" He glared, "I promise to be good! Promise, promise!"
"Sure." Chou snorted skeptically.
"Doomed!"
"I think Hoji-san may have a point." Soujirou agreed.
I sighed.
Usually I didn't mind being surrounded by males, but this time… sigh.
"Listen, I don't have time to sit here and make you two behave." I grumble, suddenly losing interest in this whole thing. It was a big headache.
Kamatari shrugged, "My offer still stands. After all, everyone needs a friend." I could think of several people who didn't, starting with Hoji, but I didn't voice that out loud. We were trying to get Chou to comply. If that made me a 'yes man' for the moment, I'd happily, not really happily, go along with it. For a time anyway.
"Chou-kun has friends." The girl defended stoutly.
"Sure, Chou-chan, Chou-kun, and Chou-san."
"Kamatari!"
"What? It's true. He's a perfect example of a self-contained egotist. He doesn't think he needs friends because they won't always agree with him. He doesn't want a friend per se, just a lacky… well, in theory? Three words: get a dog."
Chou seemed to consider this and finally cautiously said, "And that's… bad?"
"No."
"It seems lonely."
"Sure, why not?"
"You're too stupid to have friends."
Yes, that last one was Hoji.
He glared between us, "Ya ain't got an answer."
"There is no answer." I tell him. "It's called an opinion. Get one."
"Oh, I think he has plenty of opinions. In fact, he's quite opinionated, aren't you Chou-chan!"
"Would ya stop that?"
"See? An opinion. He doesn't like –chan being added to the end of his name. Even though I think it's kind of cute."
"It would be better if he were a dumb rock." Hoji grumbled, looking worse for wear with his acquaintance with the wall. "Then he'd just agree and Shishio-sama would never find out about this folly."
"Fin'! Just stop naggin' meh!" Chou exploded. "Fin', I'll be yer friend, 'kay? Ya hear that Kami? We're all buddy-buddy now!"
Kamatari cocked his pink-haired head and said deliberately, "Say it only if you really mean it."
Chou made a face.
"And you owe me some apologies."
"Don't push it."
"You do!" Kamatari pouted, "And I apologies for the numerous insults and hiding your swords and calling you –chan even though I knew you hated it. Forgive me?"
This was the crucial point. If he said no, well, screw it to hell. They'd never be more than casual enemies. But if somehow Chou could click the cogs in his brain and decide to set aside some pride, we might actually make it through this!
He looked around with a grumpy expression. Soujirou nodded encouraging while Chou's little girl friend looked slightly miffed about the whole thing. Kamatari looked hopeful and I bit back a snort. That was one thing I couldn't stand about him: his optimism.
"Fin'."
"Yay!" Kamatari screeched and dashed towards Chou joyously.
An advance with Chou gracelessly avoided. Not that it mattered because Kamatari went flying past him in a daring tackle. I say daring because if that little demon had done that at any other time I would have killed him… I may still kill him!
Two strong arms latched around MY Shishio-sama and a face buried in MY Shishio-sama's robes. If that wasn't grounds for murder I don't know what is.
"Wha' the fu--." Chou's wail in Kamatari's voice was cut off and abruptly relocated across the room, slightly muffed. Funny, I would have thought there'd be a magical flash of light or something. "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! Kamatari I'm gonna fuckin' KILL ya!"
Guess not.
A/N: yay, the end . Don't kill me... Don't you hate it when you know what you want to do, but can't make it work? I rewrote this stupid ending so many times... Also, if Yumi seems off... consider the fact I haven't written a female POV since May-- Anyway, thanks everyone for the R&R (or even just the R). Sorry it was so late. MA had to e-mail me to make sure I was still alive and that kind of made me finish this. I'm sinking in three out of four classes ( I HATE discussion classes and math --). Lalala, okay, I need to finish Strays, don't I? And TPT... and geez... -wanders off-
Carrie the Open Minded: Naw, don't say that! I'm sure you'd of done an awesome job with it . -wrinkles nose- Yeah, the lipstick is kind of offputting. LOL, an idea you say?
Wistful-Eyes: You get a cookie for the most constant reviewer (::) -hopes cookie shows up- And I'll remind you that YOU'RE to blame for this ending X.X Poor Shishio, that's his cameo.
Darkygurl11: Glad you like it -
unicornfan: Kamatari is one of my fav characters, and I don't know why! Maybe because I tend to like underdogs. Nuriko is so funny! I've only read the first two manga and I'm trying to find time to watch some of the anime, but he's great! I think my fav. line was "I have the spirit of a woman!"
