Title: Moving Through Osmosis

Author: ScullyAsTrinity

Category: Angst, Romance

Characters: Trinity, Neo

Rating: PG-13

Dedication: I'm dedicating this to Bisse for reminding me to write it. Thank you!

Summary: Concluding (?) chapter to I Want To Be Moved

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For days I lived as if I held my breath deep within me. I could neither inhale nor exhale and every day it felt like dying and living at the same time. Amazing how one person, one being could make you feel so many things at once.

For the few days that I lived with you, for the moment that I sat next to you, trained with you. I made up every moment every night in my dreams. There, in my head, I could touch you. My hand could find its way through your hair, feel the scalding intensity of your skin. In my head it could find out just how rough the stumble growing on your cheeks.

When the dreams were over and I awoke, a small piece of me was missing. It had spun off at some point in the night and had left to be with you. When I was not with you, my imagination came up with ways to stay connected to you. Being in your cabin allowed me some measure of peace and security. My fingers would trail over the hem of the rough blanket that comes standard issue to all of us. I would wonder how it felt on your skin. I wondered if you would touch it and long for something softer to blanket yourself with, something more real.

Leaving your cabin was like leaving my dreams. I continued to long and want when you were not in my presence and I simply could not explain it. Though when I was with you, when you were near, it felt as if the molecules within me pulled to be with you. On you. As if it was one giant puzzle that could only be completed if we were together.

Honestly, if I look back on the days that we spent in the Matrix, the days that we lost Switch and Apoc and Djoser, I can't remember feeling out of place. I do remember falling completely in sync with you. I recall a feeling of symbiosis that overcame the sadness. It wasn't as if the rest of them had gone from my mind. They were within me then, just as you were. All of you pushing me to do what I knew I could do. I thank you all every day.

Upon recalling you on that rooftop, a particular thrill runs through me. Could you sense my despair as I went down in that hunk of metal? Did you know what you had to do because you're the one, or did you try to save me, thinking it in vain because you felt the same thing for me as I did for you? Perhaps, now, I can see it is a wonderful combination of both.

I don't quite recall every synapse that fired off in my body as I told you the depth of my feelings, the truth that I had tried desperately to hide. I can't possibly put into words the fear that I felt when we all believed you to be dead. I can't express the fear that I felt thinking and knowing that you had indeed heard my words. That my words carried you on. You were stronger because of me, you were fighting so that you could see me again, so you could find out just what was going on in my head. I was so frightened, so unbelievable elated. Doubts still played in my head, not about you, but about myself. Although I wanted this more than anything, more than the survival of Zion (as impossibly selfish and horrible it seems, that is how I felt, for I didn't think I could continue if you were to reject me), I wasn't totally sure that I could give myself over to you as I wished to.

All of these things were swirling within me as I watched you be reborn and overcome the agents. The weight of the situation and the onslaught of the sentinels dawned on me, and my brain sped up just a tad. I don't think I could have been more selfish in those five minutes if I tried, thinking about myself instead of your own welfare. I think you sensed, my dilemma, and my love for you then. Your demeanor changed and the features of your face softened, just a bit.

Amidst all of the chaos, the firing of the EMP and the clash of metal, I didn't let you go. I couldn't. Though I stared straight into the face of death, I couldn't leave your side. My face in your neck, I held on and resigned my fate to Tank and Morpheus. Slowly, oh so slowly, I lifted my head off of your neck, hoping above anything I had ever hoped for that you were still breathing.

And then I was met with the glory of your eyes. They were so sad, so sad and so enlightened at the same time. It was as if they were only for me. Tenderly, I brought my hand up and stroked the side of your face, finally knowing what the slight stubble felt like. I know there was fear in my eyes, trepidation. Your hand rested on the back of my neck none the less, and you brought my head down and kissed me so tenderly I was unsure if this was the same person I just saw fight for the fate of the world. It couldn't be. But that thought faded away when your tongue snaked out and tangled with mine.

Letting out a sigh, everything was right with the world, if only for that brief moment in time.

It's all wonderful now. It's all perfect, as imperfect as it is. No matter where I go I can feel you holding me, and I am moved.

-La Fin-