Chapter 5 - Mates (Flashback)
James sat up in bed, sensing something different. He looked sideways at Sirius' bed: empty. Sirius wasn't an early riser, except before Quidditch matches, so … James' eyes were inexorably drawn to his other side at Remus' bed. He sighed, smiling, as he saw his two friends curled up side by side on Remus' bed. He got up and quickly closed the curtains around the bed so that Peter wouldn't be freaked out when he woke moments later. "What're you doing?"
"Seeing if Remus is up. He isn't; keep quiet. I think Sirius is at breakfast, let's go find him."
Peter obeyed James and dressed quickly to 'look for Sirius.' They left five minutes later, heading for the great hall, James unable to keep a huge grin off his face.
Remus woke up. He snuggled closer to Sirius, enjoying the feeling of arms around him. Sirius murmured, "You awake?"
Remus looked up into familiar blue-on-blue eyes. Sirius smiled and kissed his forehead. "Morning."
Remus just smiled and snuggled up again. Sirius held him close and muttered, "I love you."
Remus sighed contentedly and they lay like that for a long while, Remus listening to Sirius' heart and Sirius rocking Remus gently. Eventually, Remus sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "We should get some breakfast before … did you shut the curtains?"
"Nope," Sirius replied, sitting up as well. "James or Peter might've done it."
"But - "
"Relax, would you! They aren't going to freak about us, are they? James didn't when I told him I was gay - or that I liked you."
"You - you told James!"
"Uh, yeah," Sirius said, as though talking to a particularly dim child, sliding out of Remus' bed and walking over to his own to get some clothes. "Heis my best friend, Remus."
Remus got up too and, while getting a towel, asked, "What about Pete?"
"Ah. Peter. Dear, dear Peter. He … didn't take it as well at first. Probably thought I was going to jump him in a corridor or something … little git."
"What don't you like about him?" Remus asked, his hand on the bathroom door. Sirius shrugged, pulling off the t-shirt he had slept in. "He just annoys me sometimes. Like when Jim starts playing with his snitch or we're talking about our next wind-up - he alwaysapplauds us - we may as well have a fan club trailing around behind us, giving us a standing ovation whenever we so much as breathe! I swear, next time Jim gets a cold he'll start saying 'Oh, James, what a jolly good sneeze that was - oh, you do have a wonderful cough!'"
Remus couldn't help but laugh. Sirius' impression of Peter was almost too accurate. He opened the bathroom door and told Sirius, "I'm getting a shower. Wait for me?"
"'K. I'll be in the common room."
Remus was lying on his bed on his stomach, trying to keep his mind on his Herbology homework ("Read up on the properties of the venomous tentacular"), while Sirius was sitting on the small of his back, giving him a back rub. James was lying flat out on his own bed, prattling about Lilly. Peter was out in the grounds somewhere with his Ravenclaw girlfriend. It still amazed Remus that he had a girlfriend at all, let alone a supposedly intelligent Ravenclaw.
They had been together now for almost three months - a record for Sirius. Remus wondered how sincere Sirius actually was. He knew that when they kissed it gave him a feeling like no other. It was like pure electricity was pumped into his body. Whenever they touched unexpectedly, it was almost enough to send him crazy. And Sirius seemed to have all the same symptoms.
"And then she agreed to go out with me tonight!" James finished triumphantly. Sirius leapt off Remus' back and scrambled over his own bed to James. "What? She agreed to go out with you!?"
"Apparently, my dear Sirius. That's why he just said it, you prat! Did you leave your brain behind when we came up from the common room?" Remus told him before James could reply.
Sirius deflated. "It'll be no fun teasing you about her any more, then."
Remus shook his head and snapped the book shut. "Sirius, do you only ever think about getting at people."
"No."
"What else do you think about, then?"
"Food. Quidditch. Uh …"
"Oh, what a brilliant mind you have. What interesting subjects."
Sirius scrambled back over to Remus, rolled him onto his back and knelt over him "I wasgoing to say 'you', but since you seem so impressed … would you care to rephrase that so it sounds less sarcastic?"
Remus looked up at him. "Um … let me think … sorry, no can do. It's impossible."
James started to speak, but Sirius growled and started tickling Remus. After a moment, James pulled him off and shouted, "I said, I'm going now. Lilly'll be waiting. Have fun, you two. Right, you can carry on now, Sirius."
With that he left the room. Sirius looked back over at Remus, who scooted back away from him. "Oh no you don't! If you lay one finger on me, I'll be forced to use my awesome lycanthrope strength."
Sirius grinned. "What about tongues?"
"What?"
"You said I couldn't lay a finger on you. What about a tongue?" Sirius asked seductively, slowly crawling towards his werewolf. Remus folded his arms, giving Sirius a disapproving look. However, Sirius wasn't going to be deterred. He stroked Remus' cheek then leant in for a kiss. When they parted, he kissed his way along Remus' jaw until he reached his neck, sliding his arms around him.
Remus pushed him off and said, "What if Pete comes back? Or James? And how come they get to go out for a walk? We never go out for a walk, Sirius."
"Want to go for a walk down by the lake, then, Mr Hard-To-Please?"
"I'm not hard to please!"
"I'm taking that as a yes. Come on."
Sirius grabbed Remus' hand and dragged him towards the door.
The lake was beautiful by moonlight. Sirius slid an arm around Remus as they walked under a willow tree; its branches were dipping into the water. Remus leant his head on Sirius' shoulder in response. Sirius stopped and they turned to look at the glistening water, obscured from the view of anyone looking out of a castle window by the tree. Sirius turned to Remus and tilted his face towards him. Their eyes locked. Remus' heart missed a beat as he looked into Sirius' eyes. He slowly leant in for a long, deep kiss full of passion. He slid his arms around Sirius' waist as Sirius' hands moved to the small of his back and the back of his neck, holding him in place.
The wolf inside him howled. It was fighting its shackles, fighting Remus for supremacy so it could knock Sirius to the ground and claim him as its mate forever. And it was strong. So strong … not long until the full moon … not long enough …
Remus knew who he wanted his mate for life to be now, but he couldn't let the wolf go. He wouldn't; he didn't dare. He didn't want to condemn Sirius to a lifetime with him.
Sirius moaned into Remus' mouth. He desperately wanted Remus, wanted to be there for him, wanted to wake up every morning next to him…
Remus stepped back. He asked suddenly, "How far do you want to go with me?"
Sirius swallowed hard. He knew how sensitive Remus was about this subject. "I love you, Remus. I know you think I'll stop loving you, but I won't. Ever. I never want to hurt you. I just … I don't know. I want to be with you, Remus. I don't want to be apart from you for even a second … I love you so much …"
Remus kissed him again, less innocently than before, allowing his hands to wander. Sirius groaned, moving his own hands to give back all that he was getting. Sirius pushed Remus back, slamming him into the tree so hard that Remus yelped in pain. Sirius pulled back long enough to murmur a quick, "Sorry," before capturing Remus' mouth with his own again. He ran his tongue of over the werewolf's lips. He started grinding their hips, moaning as Remus thrust into him. After a long moment, he pulled back. Remus whined in protest. "We should go back inside."
"Why?"
"Because I think we're going to get a lot further than this - at least, we are if I have anything to do with it - and personally I'd like to be in a bed for it," Sirius replied, smiling cheekily. Remus gave him a scathing look. "Which bed exactly? If you are suggesting mine or yours, that is just wrong. Peter and James are probably back by now, and - "
"Room of requirement."
"Pardon?"
"The room of requirement. We could go there. Make it into somewhere incredibly pleasing … then we could really get to know one another. What do you say, Moony?"
'He's thought about this. He's probably been planning it …'
Remus thought for a long moment, his desire for Sirius fighting with his conscience. "I … can't. Werewolves - "
"Mate for life. I know. You've said - many times! And I want to be your mate, Remus. I do. I love you. I want to be with you forever. Please …"
"I can't. Don't you understand?" Remus protested, pushing him back and slumping to the ground against the tree. "I'd be trapping you. It would hurt so much, if … if you were ever unfaithful to me … it would drive me round the bend …"
"What if you were unfaithful to me?"
"I couldn't be. I couldn't. The wolf … I just couldn't, Sirius."
"But I would be able to?"
"Yes."
"No."
"No?"
"No. I wouldn't want to, Remus. I wouldn't want to hurt you. Not that I ever will, but if I ever did stop loving you, I still wouldn't go with anyone else, because it would hurt you. And, even if we were just friends, that would hurt me."
"Sirius - "
"I love you."
"Padfoot, listen to me - "
"Remus, if you don't stop telling me I'm wrong, I'll - "
"SIRIUS! Shut up and listen for a minute! Can we please go back to the castle? Then go to the room of requirement like you suggested? Then can you fuck my brains out please?"
Sirius just stared at him for a long, long moment. Then he threw himself as his soon-to-be-lover and kissed him hard. "What're we waiting for?"
"Well, I'm waiting for you to get off me, moron!"
--------
"It's hot in here!"
"Well, have you seen the fire - My God that's a big fireplace!"
"What the hell's that wonderful smell?"
"I think it's those incense sticks above the fireplace."
"Oh. Why does the bed smell like roses?"
"I should know?"
Sirius shrugged and replied, "Yeah, you should. I certainly didn't think of it."
"Well neither did I. Nor the incense."
"Well I didn't! Least it'll smell nice when we wake up …"
Remus sat down on the bed. It was wonderfully soft and was vaguely warm. The smell of roses filled his nostrils as he lay back and relaxed against the silky covers. Sirius, meanwhile, was running his fingers over one of the wooden posts of the bed.He walked over and stood in front of Remus; the werewolf sat up.Sirius bent down so his lips rested beside Remus' ear.
"I can't wait to kiss you all over ..." Sirius whispered seductively, kissing Remus' jaw. leant back onto the bed, Sirius leaning down after him. As he did so, he noticed something. "Sirius?"
"Hmm?" Sirius replied indistinctly, starting to undo Remus' shirt while kissing his way down his neck. "It says here this is a vibrating bed."
"Hmm!"
"Shall I push the button?"
"Mm! Definitely! So long as you promise to push all my buttons in a minute…" Sirius moaned softly, seductively. Remus pressed the button to set off the gentle vibrating motion of the bed. Sirius made a small noise of approval, pulling Remus backwards until he was lying on the bed on his back. Sirius straddled his hips and murmured, "You said something about me fucking your brains out?"
"Good puppy! You remembered. Remind me to give you a biscuit," Remus replied, managing to keep his voice under some sort of control. Sirius smiled, bending close so his breath played across Remus' face. "I'd prefer a chocolate."
"Chocolate's bad for little doggies like you. Too much could kill you."
"Too much of anything could kill anyone. What's it do to wolves?"
"Sends 'em high…?"
"Can we test that theory? There's a box of chocolates on the other bedside table …"
"You move and I'll have to kill you," Remus gasped. Sirius' hips above his own, moving slightly as he shifted position, were turning him on painfully. And it felt so good …
Sirius grinned. "Can you reach them then?"
Remus reached over his head and groped for the box. Finally he found it and passed them to Sirius. The animagus settled himself more comfortably over his lover's body, forcing a moan of pleasure from Remus' lips, and opened the box. "Oh, look, there's strawberry creams - your favourites…"
"Give me one!"
"What's the magic word?"
"Give me one NOW - or I won't let you carry on!" Remus growled. Sirius grinned - knowing the threat was empty - and picked out a strawberry cream. Slowly he brought it up to his own mouth, held it between his teeth and bit into it, the soft centre flowing into his mouth. Remus moaned. Sirius leant forwards so that Remus could kiss him. Remus' tongue forced its way into Sirius' mouth to taste the strawberry cream.
Sirius changed the position of his hips again. Remus groaned, his erection throbbing painfully. Remus suddenly rolled Sirius over onto his back, deciding to play on the … masculine qualities of the wolf. Deciding to release it from its mental shackles bit by glorious bit. Sirius dropped the box of chocolates and they spilled out all over the bed. Both the werewolf and his lover ignored them. Remus literally ripped Sirius' shirt off and started rocking their hips together. Sirius groaned, his hands fluttering over Remus' torso. Remus moved off Sirius' body, Sirius whining in protest, so that he could remove the rest of his lover's clothing.
Once they were both naked, Remus lay on top of Sirius and kissed him gently. "Are you … sure you're OK with this?"
Sirius was incapable of doing anything but nod. Remus' touches and kisses were too much for him to bear. He was so hard … he could barely breathe, let alone make love to Remus.
Remus smiled when he realised this. He murmured, "Want me to fuck you, then?"
Sirius whimpered, shutting his eyes and repositioning his legs so that Remus could settle between them. Remus whispered, "I'll take that as a yes…"
Sirius gasped as Remus thrust into him. He vaguely wondered if this was going to hurt. He felt Remus move into his body and, as Remus thrust past the original resistance, pain shot up his spine making his back arch. Remus murmured a quick, hot, "Sorry," before continuing to thrust further into Sirius. Sirius suddenly remembered the bottle of oil on the bedside table. It seemed Remus had thought of it first.
"Leverage … need more … leverage …" Sirius mumbled. Remus grabbed one of the largest pillows and tucked it under Sirius' back. Sirius gasped at his movement, a shock of pleasure running through him. Remus kissed his neck, nibbling at the pale skin. Suddenly, he bit down, almost hard enough to break the skin. He sucked on that point for a while longer, Sirius gasping in bliss beneath him. Sirius couldn't get Remus close enough, couldn't touch enough skin, couldn't get him far enough into his body, couldn't give him enough pleasure. He let his body slump back against the pillows, using his arms to lift his body to get Remus closer. He could do nothing but call Remus' name over and over again, his voice breaking, going from long moans to short gasps and back again as Remus chose a rhythm. But Sirius needed more.
"Harder," he whispered. "Faster, love …"
Remus obeyed, feeling Sirius' muscles tense around him. Each time Sirius' muscles tightened, Remus felt sure he was going to come, but he forced himself not to. Not yet. He ran his fingers through Sirius' raven hair as his lover wrapped his legs around his waist. Sirius was begging now, crying out for more, for release, for him to come, to go harder, faster, slower, softer …
Remus gasped Sirius' name, his mind blazing as he tried to obey Sirius' half-delirious, constantly changing instructions. Suddenly, as Remus thrust forward again, Sirius yelped, his eyes snapping open wide as a jolt of pure pleasure ran all the way to his fingertips in a second. Remus looked at him confused for a second. Sirius begged, "Do that again …"
Remus did so, causing the same reaction as last time. Realising that it wasn't pain that was making Sirius cry out, he continued, making each thrust harder than the last. Sirius called his name again, his body on fire from Remus' heavenly touches. Remus came, almost screaming Sirius' name as he did. Sirius felt him come, an explosion of heat inside him, and arched his back before collapsing back against the pillow and the bed, exhausted.
Remus muttered, "I love you, mate…"
Sirius barely heard. He swallowed hard, and snuggled close to Remus. He still didn't have complete control over himself; his brain felt as though it had melted during their 'mating'. Tangled together in a burning knot of ecstasy, they slowly slipped into the comforts of sleep.
Remus woke. He was still inside Sirius and could feel his lover's muscles tight around him. He changed position slightly; Sirius grunted, tightening his arms around him. Remus lifted his head from Sirius' chest and looked down into the sleepy, dark blue pools of life that were Sirius' eyes. Sirius smiled. Remus looked down at him for a long moment longer, then pulled back out of Sirius' body. It made Sirius gasp in pain. He suddenly felt empty, alone. Remus muttered a sincere apology, looking as though it was him who was in pain, and rolled away from him, burying his face in his hands as he pulled the still-warm blankets over himself. Sirius turned towards him and touched his shoulder. Remus jerked away. "What's the matter?"
"We - you - I - look what you've done!"
"What?"
"We're stuck now! Thanks to you, you stupid, seductive idiot!"
Sirius grabbed Remus' shoulder and pulled him over onto his back.Siriusmurmured, "That wasn't your attitude last night, love."
"No … well …"
"Don't deny it. You know I love you and you love me and you're glad we … you're glad we're mates - literally, I mean. Aren't you?"
Sirius suddenly sounded scared; afraid that Remus regretted the rash decision they had made the night before.
"Yes," Remus whispered, so quietly it was barely audible. Suddenly, on impulse, he threw himself at Sirius, wrapping his arms around him. He started to cry silently against Sirius' chest as his lover rocked him back and forth gently.
"Remus, it's OK. Shh, everything's fine. Look, I don't want you to think you've ruined my life or anything - I truly want to be with you, love."
Remus lifted his tear-streaked face off Sirius' chest and looked up into his face. "I don't know how to tell you how much I love you!"
Sirius smiled gently. "You don't have to tell me."
"Can I show you, instead?"
Remus' voice was husky with desire. Before Sirius could reply, Remus was kissing him. The werewolf leant his mate back against the bed and kissed his way down Sirius' body. Sirius shut his eyes, moaning as he realised what Remus intended. He snuggled the werewolf closer - his werewolf. His mate.
His mate for life.
The only problem now was explaining that fact to James and Peter.
End of Flashback
(A/N: Well, that's another chapter done and dusted! And - thank goodness - improved! Can someone who DOESN'T know me personally please review? I'm kind of depressed becasue I don't know whether or not to stop writing, because no one bothers to read ... except my friends, who might only be reading it to make me happy ... so please let me know you're our there. It makes me feel better after a bad day. PLEASE review!)
