Title: Blind Curve
Authour: Willow
Summary: CCTV footage of Rosslyn had seemed to be the worst of their problems this week, but you never know what's around the corner.
Spoilers/Episode: Set in an a/u starting after season 5, Memorial Day. This chapter takes place a month after Chapter 4.
Characters: Ensemble.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Sorry, they're not mine.
Part IV
Josh sat in his office holding a remote control and staring at the blank television screen. He'd been sat there for ten minutes, willing himself to press play, but something kept stopping him. Donna had offered to watch with him, but he'd refused, just like he'd refused Leo and CJ. Although he now remembered most of what happened that evening, he still wasn't sure he wanted to actually see the events. However, it looked like the tape was going to be shown on national television, unless he stopped it, something he didn't think he could do without having watched it first.
Donna sat at her desk and watched Toby as he hovered outside Josh's closed office door. "He's in if you need him," she said.
"No," he replied. "I just, I'll come back."
"He has the tape," Donna told him. "I don't think he should watch it alone and you maybe the one person he'll let watch it with him."
Toby gave Donna a resigned look, knocked gently on the door and walked into the office. "Have you watched it?" he asked Josh.
"Can't seem to press play," Josh admitted.
Toby nodded, he wasn't sure he wanted to watch it, his memories of that night were vivid enough. "Come and get some food then."
"You want to watch it first?" Josh asked.
Toby looked at the TV and shifted awkwardly from foot to foot before looking across at Josh and nodding.
Josh pressed play as Toby sat down. They both stared at the screen and watched the footage without saying a word or moving. By the end, Josh was shaking so much he was surprised he could press stop on the remote. He continued staring at the blank screen until Toby broke into his thoughts.
"You remember any of that?" Toby asked.
Josh nodded. For weeks after the shooting all he could remember was walking out of the building and then Toby finding him, the minutes in between were a blur. Slowly the memories had returned, first in nightmares and then in flashbacks. Counseling had bought the memories out of his subconscious and the nightmares had subsided. But until now, he hadn't been entirely sure what had been real and what had been imagined. He thought someone had pushed him into the path of the bullet, now he knew it was true. He thought he remembered someone stopping and looking at him, before hurrying away; that too it turned out had been real.
"Josh?" Toby was watching his friend with concern.
Josh looked away from the television and focused on Toby. "Thanks," he said.
"For what?"
"Being here, and there," Josh replied.
.................................................................
Once Toby had reluctantly left him alone, Josh picked up the phone and dialed. "Hey, mom," he said when the phone was answered. "How's the weather?"
"Hot," his mother replied. "What's wrong?"
"Why would anything be wrong?"
"You never call me in the week."
"You saying I'm a bad son?" Josh smiled.
"Yes," Clara agreed with a smile. "What's wrong?"
"There's a documentary being made about CCTV and privacy, I'm in it."
"Oh God, Josh, what did you do?" Clara sighed.
"That's unfair," Josh protested. "It's of Rosslyn, the shooting."
"Of you?" Clara asked quietly.
"Yeah."
"Doing what?"
Josh considered lying, or omitting details, but he didn't. "Being shot, Toby finding me, the medics."
"And they want to show it on TV?"
"Yeah. CJ, Toby, Donna, in fact just about everyone thinks I should try and stop them."
"But you don't want to," Clara knew.
"No. What do you think?"
"That you'll do what you want."
"Mom."
"Why don't you want to fight them?" she asked.
"Because I already have more fights than I have time for and there are only so many I can win, this isn't one of them."
"You don't think it's worth trying?"
"Not if it's going to give more publicity to the program than ignoring it would. The outcome will be Rosslyn all over the news again and the documentary will still go ahead."
"Have you seen it?"
"Yeah. You don't have to watch it."
"No," Clara replied, but with that one word she managed to convey her anger.
"Mom, don't get angry at me, I just wanted to warn you."
"I'm angry that someone would show footage like that, just to grab ratings for their show. And yes, I'm angry that you don't want to fight them. It's why I wish you worked someplace else."
"But we don't need to get into that argument again do we?" Josh asked. "I understand that you don't want reminding of what happened, no one does."
"I don't need reminding about what happened, Joshua. It's not something I'm ever likely to forget."
Josh knew that his mother only used his full name when she was either exasperated or very angry at him. In this case he wasn't sure which it was, although neither was good. "I'm sorry, I didn't call to upset you."
"I know you didn't, and you haven't. You have to do what feels right for you."
Part 5 ......
