CONTAINS OOTP SPOILER! Just the one I think.
And I'm sorry for the Long Silence! Les examans c'était tres horrible! I promise to update more sooner now. (Ooo, bad grammar slaps hand …)
Chapter 11 – Pain
The Order of the Phoenix was sitting around a large table in the secret headquarters. At least, seven members of the Order of the Phoenix were. Dumbledore had called a meeting between the four Marauders, Lilly and Snape to discuss the ever-present threat from Lord Voldemort.
It was so important the newly-weds had been called back from their honeymoon. Lilly and James' future was at stake.
Snape had information – this time not a paranoid hunch from Peter, who kept quiet through the whole meeting – to prove that the lives of the Potters were at risk. The Dark Lord wanted them dead. He had overheard a Prophecy made by Sybil Trelawny in Hogsmeade and had come to the conclusion that a son the Potters would one day have could help to destroy him. He had decided to kill them before the child could be born to eliminate his only real threat.
(A/N: OK, so I changed the plot JKR tells us a bit – all right, a lot! Prof. Trelawney made the prophecy before Harry was born, before the Potters were even married, and Harry will help to defeat the Dark Lord. Voldemort heard all the Prophesy instead of the beginning. So sue me.)
Once Snape had explained this, Dumbledore said, "I have called you all here today to discuss what will happen. Severus tells me that Lord Voldemort will not attack yet – he is building his strength so that he can simply break into your house and kill you with no problems."
Sirius shuddered, as did Lilly, at that thought. Dumbledore continued, "However, there is one thing that may give you both a lifeline. If you were to choose a Secret Keeper, we could cast a spell that would allow you to have safety until the danger is past."
Lilly slowly raised her hand. Dumbledore smiled. "Mrs Potter – dear me, I am behind the times; I almost called you Miss Evans! Mrs Potter, you need not raise your hand to ask your question. We are all equals around this table."
Sirius glared at Snape as if to say that he would rather be seen dead in a plague pit than be equal to Snape, but he didn't say anything. Lilly hesitantly asked, "Please, Professor Dumbledore, sir, what is a Secret Keeper?"
Remus answered for him. "A Secret Keeper keeps a secret. For instance, if you changed your address, then the spell was cast on your Secret Keeper, no one would be able to find you, even if they had their nose pressed up against your living room window, unless the Secret Keeper tells them."
/Know-it-all,/ Sirius commented good-naturedly. Remus glanced at him resignedly and shook his head slightly. Sirius fought back a smile. It wasn't really the time to be grinning when Voldemort was stalking his best friend.
"So, you're saying we have to choose someone to trust above everyone else to keep us safe?" James asked tentatively. Dumbledore nodded sagely. Sirius whistled, and thoughts of hilarity gone. "That's a big responsibility. You'd have to choose really carefully."
"I am sure everyone at this table is eligible for that responsibility," Dumbledore commented. James glanced across at Lilly. Remus often wondered if it was only he and Sirius who could talk without speaking. Then he turned to Sirius and asked, "Sirius, will you consider being our Secret Keeper?"
Sirius blinked at them. He swallowed hard. "I – I don't know what to say … I'll need time to think but … yeah, I'll consider it. Yeah. Um … thank you, I think. You must really trust me …"
"You're my best friend, Sirius."
Sirius smiled across the table and nodded. James grinned back.
That had been a week ago. Things were tense. The Marauders and Lilly were all relying on Snape – someone that the Marauders hated on principle – for information, and there was no knowing if he truly was a convert to 'the good side'. Sirius thought he was definitely working for Voldemort and only feeding them information to confuse them. Only Lilly really trusted him.
But no one could take any chances; there were lives at stake. Sirius was going to have to bury the hatchet and trust Snape – or risk his best friend's life. By the time a week had gone by – a week of mulling over James' proposition and wondering about Snape – his temper was extremely short. He was prone to anger attacks or sudden breakdowns.
Remus vaguely wondered if Sirius had been hit by a bludger. After all, he had been at Quidditch practice with the others in the Chudley Cannons, and people often have accidents. Especially on that particular team. The small of his back was tingling uncomfortably, a sure sign that Sirius was hurting in the same place. He heard voices in the kitchen. He put down his book, got up and walked through into the hall. He could hear Sirius and James talking.
"He's going to kill me! Why did I let you talk me into this?" Sirius asked. Remus heard James sigh. "For God's sake, Sirius, he's not going to kill you! It's me who should be worried. Lilly's going to flip! Think how I feel – I have to be stuck in a house with her indefinitely after we've got a Secret Keeper!"
"Don't talk to me about that right now! He's going to go spare!"
Remus chose that moment to go into the kitchen. "Why?"
Sirius yelped and spun around. "Remus!"
"Who'd you expect? I do live here, Siri," Remus laughed, walking over to kiss his mate. Sirius slid his arms around the werewolf and pulled him close. When they parted, he whispered, "I love you."
James said uncomfortably, "You know, I'm going to go …"
He apparated back home, leaving Sirius and Remus standing in each other's arms. Remus wondered momentarily why their friend had made such a quick exit; he normally had no problem with them acting like this. He absent-mindedly ran his fingers down Sirius' spine, searching for the soft spot at the small of his back. Sirius hissed and pulled away as his fingertips reached it. Remus frowned. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing …" Sirius muttered, not meeting Remus' eyes. The werewolf shook his head. He knew when Sirius was lying. "Did you get hit by a bludger?"
"No …"
"What is it, then?"
Sirius didn't reply. Remus asked, "Let me have a look at you back?"
"No!" Sirius yelped as Remus reached out towards him, stepping backwards until he banged into the sink. He gasped in pain and arched his back away from the counter-top, twisting to look behind him and scowl at whatever had hurt him. Remus winced.
"Why not! Come on, Sirius, let me see it, whatever it is. Or would you rather tell me?"
Sirius stayed still for a moment, then turned around, muttering, "You are going to go completely and utterly insane. You're going to go mad."
He pulled the back of his t-shirt up and Remus saw the small of his back. He stared for a long moment, completely speechless. "You got a TATTOO!"
"Yes."
"WHY?"
"It wasn't my fault …"
Flashback – two hours ago, after Quidditch practice
"James, this is a bad idea. Remus will have heart failure. He's go into bloody cardiac arrest."
"He won't. Leave it, Sirius, stop worrying. You fell in love with it when you set eyes on it and it's perfect for you," James replied, ginning as he dragged Sirius into the tattoo parlour. Sirius dug in his heels and refused to budge. However, Jorja gave him a shove from behind and he tumbled into the tattoo parlour, on top of James, who fell backwards into a chair.
The tattoo artist pushed aside a bead curtain aside, walking into the waiting room. He caught sight of the two Quidditch players sprawled across a chair in a tangle of arms and legs and smiled, raising his eyebrows at the blonde girl in the doorway. Jorja shook her head at them. She shrugged at the tattooist and left the tattoo parlour, waving to her two friends. "Ciao, guys. Got a date to keep with Jack."
Sirius scrabbled away from James and paled as he looked the tattooist up and down. He was very tall and thickset, with bushman eyebrows. Both arms were covered in tattoos. He was wearing a black vest with 'Joey' monogrammed across the front. He wore a pair of faded jeans, cut off unevenly at the knees, and black trainers without any socks. On one of his knees was a tattoo of a nude woman.
Sirius swallowed hard. 'Joey' grinned. "Hey. I'm Joey, in case you can't read. Who wants the tattoo?"
He was Australian. Sirius glanced at James and hissed, "I'll have one if you will."
James rolled his eyes but nodded. Joey grinned at them. "Come on through, then. Which one were you thinking of?"
The walls were covered with hundreds of pictures of tattoos. James pointed and said loudly, "Sirius wants that paw print on the small of his back."
Sirius looked around and spotted a small tattoo of a stag on the opposite wall. "He wants that one on his arm."
James muttered, "Thanks for letting me choose! It's a bloody good job I like it."
Joey laughed and asked, "Who first?"
James glared at Sirius, who glowered back with equal venom. Eventually, Sirius won and James backed into the chair.
Twenty minutes later, it was done and it was Sirius' turn. He had refused to watch James' tattoo being done, and now he was terrified. He had heard every yelp of pain. Joey walked a very pale James to the door and gestured Sirius through. James smirked at him as he went past, nodding at the pad he was holding to his arm to stop the bleeding.
Sirius pulled his shirt off and went to lie down on the bench Joey indicated. He swallowed hard as he heard the tattooist moving around behind him. Then Joey approached again. Sirius lay his head down on his arms, gritting his teeth. The small of his back was possibly the most sensitive point on his body. This was going to hurt.
End Flashback
"So you just decided to do everything that James says, now?"
"No! But …"
"But what!" Remus yelled. "If he told you to stick your hand in the fire, would you?!"
"No, but if I had Jorja pushing me I might not have the choice!"
Remus folded his arms. "You know when you're not ranting about Quidditch, you're talking about her."
"Oh, you're not jealous of her, are you? For God's sake, she's just a friend, Remus!"
"So was I once!"
Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Jesus, Remus! You're impossible sometimes!" he yelled. He stormed out of the kitchen, calling over his shoulder, "You're turning into my MUM!"
Remus followed him upstairs, following Sirius as he went into the bathroom and began to pull off his clothes. "I worry about you, that's all! It must have hurt you … and it's totally reckless! At least one of us has to be sensible!"
"Why can't that be me, once in a while, Remus? You never think I can be responsible!"
"You've never given me reason to believe that!" Remus said quietly, though his voice was full of anger. "I don't know why I ever let you talk me into mating with you."
Sirius froze for the shortest moment. He muttered, almost too quiet to hear, "Drop dead."
That hurt. Remus swallowed hard. He sniffed and managed to get his voice under control for long enough to say, "Maybe I'd better just crawl into a corner and do that, shall I?"
He turned and left the room before Sirius could look around. He walked slowly downstairs and had just reached the front door when Sirius grabbed his shoulder. "Remus, I – "
"Just don't. Leave it. Don't even try, Sirius."
"I didn't mean – "
"No. Well you said it. Maybe I should just drop dead," Remus told Sirius, his voice starting to shake. Sirius reached out to touch him, but Remus leant away from his touch. Sirius growled. "Fine! Be like that! I don't know why I ever wanted to spend my life with you!"
Remus stepped back as though he had been hit, blinking in surprise. He shut his eyes for a moment and thought, 'Oh, God, this is what I was afraid of …' Then anger took over.
"Neither do I. I don't know why I ever agreed to it! I knew you'd change your mind. I knew it! You're totally irresponsible! Goddamn it, I don't know why James wants you to be his Secret Keeper – even PETER would be a better choice that YOU! At least he wouldn't be obvious! You have no morals! You'd probably sell them both to Voldemort!"
"Don't you ever say that!" Sirius threatened, backing Remus into the front door. "Don't you ever imply I could be that heartless!"
"I know you're that heartless, from what you just said. And I'm not scared of you."
"You should be!" Sirius yelled. Remus made the mistake of laughing. Sirius growled, lashing out before he had chance to think with a balled fist.
Remus could taste blood in his mouth. His cheek was hot where Sirius' fist had hit it. He took a deep breath and whispered, "OK. OK, that's enough …"
He slowly turned, opened the door and left the house without looking at Sirius. If he had, he would have seen the shock on his mate's face. Sirius' thoughts raced. How could he ever do that? How could he let his temper and body get out of control like that? How could he have hit his lover – his mate?
But he had.
(A/N: I'm evil! Yet another cliffhanger! Sorry my friends! I really do hate myself for this. I know this chapter is kind of horrible. It was going to be funny, but … well never mind. I hate angsty moments, but I was having a bad day. BTW, I hate being horrible to Remus, too. The next few chapters are kind of hard on him.
This chapter was originally going to be called "New Tattoo" after my best friend's favourite Johnny Depp fanfic, but then I thought it would kind of be a BIT funnier at the beginning if it was a surprise … Just review it, for Pete's sake! It makes me happy; I need cheering up after those exams! Please review!
Um … I think I'd better warn you. Drug abuse in the next chapter(s). There's nothing particularly explicit, but it's there. If it bothers you, don't read.)
Oh, and a little extra from the beginning: I was moving house! I have now officially moved! (Private rant: Do you know my parents bought a house behind my back? They didn't even tell me! How bad is that? They told everyone else, just not me!)
