Chapter 18 – Secret to be Kept

Sirius sighed, smiling at Remus. It had been a week since Remus had woken, and every day he looked better. Come to that, so did Sirius. The werewolf looked over at him. "What?"

"Nothing. Just … you," Sirius murmured, his smile widening. Remus reached over and brushed his cheek with the back of a finger, tracing down his neck to his chest. Sirius caught his hand and squeezed it gently. "I'm glad you're OK."

Remus smiled remorsefully. "I wish I hadn't put you through this. I feel like I've betrayed you."

"You haven't," Sirius assured him. "Anyway, some good came of it. Me and Snivelly are on better terms than ever before. Don't ask. I don't want to think about it."

"Why?" Remus asked, almost laughing at the irony of it. "What did you do?"

After a long moment, Sirius explained embarrassedly, "It was when I wasn't allowed to see you. He came to see how you were and … I kind of burst into tears on him. But he evened up the score by weeping all over me. Then I … apologised."

Sirius shuddered. Remus grinned. "Good for you."

Sirius leant over and kissed his mate. Remus asked, "What was that for?"

"Nothing. I love you."

"I know – though I don't know why."

"Now you're just fishing for compliments," Sirius complained, folding his arms.

"Makes a change from it being you," Remus replied. Sirius laughed, though it didn't last long. Remus frowned. "What's the matter?"

"Remus … you know how we had that meeting? Well … Snape said we have to – you know – do the thing with James. Kind of … today."

"Sirius, the meeting was three days ago. Why didn't you tell me?" Remus asked patiently. Sirius shrugged and started gnawing on one of his nails. Remus grabbed his hand and pulled it away.

"Stop that. You're not convinced you're the right man for the job, right?" he asked softly, reaching up to touch Sirius' cheek. Sirius paused before he nodded, as though he was worried. Remus smiled. "Sirius, you're his best friend. You're hardly just going to give him up."

Sirius swallowed. "I've … been thinking about what you said – when we … had the argument."

"Siri, you know I didn't mean – "

"No wait. You were right. I am irresponsible. I was talking to Peter before and we got onto the subject of … that. And I was thinking – we both were when we were talking – maybe he would be the better – "

"Sirius, shh. Listen, the Death Eaters will come after you automatically and when they find out you're not the Secret Keeper they'll just kill you. I don't want that to happen, Sirius … And then they'll go after Peter and torture him until he gives up the information – which he will – then James and Lilly will be killed anyway," Remus explained. After a moment, he continued, "And once Peter had given in, they'd kill him too. So I'd be all alone – unless they decide to kidnap and kill me too … I don't want you to die, Sirius."

Actually I made great sense. Sirius sighed, shaking his head. "I don't know, Moony. I don't know what to do … I'm scared, Remus."

Remus pulled Sirius down into a tight hug. He told the animagus firmly, "Sirius, you will be perfect. James wants you, not Peter. Just go."

Sirius still looked afraid, but swallowed hard and nodded. "I'd better go then. Or they'll worry. I'll come back later."
Sirius parked his bike outside the Potters' new front door and knocked. James pulled it open. "Sirius! I thought you wouldn't come – I was worried you'd start getting all anxious again."

"Remus … persuaded me."

James smiled and reassured Sirius, "I want you to be my Secret Keeper, Sirius. That's why I asked you. I want you. Not Dumbledore, not Peter, you. Now get in here."

James opened the door and let Sirius in, closing and locking it after him. "Did you tell the rest of the team we'll not be playing for a while?"

"Hmm? What?" Sirius replied. He had been so lost in thought he hadn't even heard James' question about the Chudley Cannons. They had decided it would be safer for Sirius if he didn't play Quidditch while he was acting as Secret keeper. After all, Sirius would be at his most vulnerable on an open Quidditch pitch, and he wouldn't be paying attention to much other than the game. And as for James, there wouldn't be much point in him having a Secret Keeper if he left the house once a week for a Quidditch practices. James repeated his question. "Oh, yeah. Spoke to the manager yesterday. He wasn't pleased but he agreed. I told him we'll come back to the team eventually – we just need a break."

James smiled his thanks and they walked into the living room where Lilly was sitting. Sirius sat down opposite her. "Um … so this is it."

"Yes," Lilly whispered. Her voice shook. "Sirius, listen, we were talking earlier and … if Voldemort takes you and tortures you – or anyone else – to make you give up the Secret, then you have to tell him. Please don't argue, Sirius. He could kill you and … and … Sirius, we don't want you to die, or get hurt!"

Sirius stared at Lilly. "Look, I'm not going to sell you to him for my own life. I'm not. I don't know if I'm the right choice; I don't know what's going to happen to me, whether he'll come or not; I don't know what he'll do if he does take me. But I do know one thing; I'll never sell you to Voldemort. Ever. You know the Prophesy. One day you're going to have a son who can help make him fall. If I have to die protecting the pair of you, then I have to die."

James gawked at him. "You are not serious."

"I am. All joking aside, you're my best friend, James. I couldn't live with myself if I saved myself but let you and Lilly die."

"What if … Sirius, what if they torture Remus?" Lilly asked quietly. Sirius froze, his mind spiralling away into hell as he considered that horrific thought all too vividly. What if that did happen? After a moment, he remembered that he'd already promised James – and he would never break a promise to his best friend, his almost-brother. He took a deep breath and said softly, "I'm not going to betray you."

James swallowed. "Sirius – "

"Look, can we just do the spell?" Sirius snapped. "I'm done being noble."

They laughed nervously and Lilly pulled out her wand, as did Sirius and James. They touched the tips of the wands and James and Lilly whispered together, "I entrust the secret of this location, number seven Godric's Hollow, to Sirius Black."

Sirius took a deep calming breath and murmured, "I take the secret and become its Keeper. I swear not to reveal the Secret to any unworthy of the knowledge."

An orb of soft white light blossomed at the wand-tips and expanded to wash over the three of them. It tingled as it passed over them and then spread throughout the house, silently passing through everything until it completely covered the outer walls of the house like a skin.

"Was that it?" Sirius asked nervously.

"That was it," James confirmed, turning to look out of the window. A translucent milky film obscured the view across the square slightly, its edges moving up in a bubble from the fence at the bottom of the front garden. Lilly walked out into the hall to look at the back garden. She returned after a moment and reported that the back garden was included in the spell and therefore protected.

Sirius sat down on the sofa and sighed, shutting his eyes. James sat down beside him. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah … I'm fine. I'm just worrying."

"That he'll come after you?"

Sirius nodded, his throat too tight for speech. James gripped his shoulder. "You'll be fine. And if he does do anything really evil – "

"I will keep your secret. James, I am not giving you up," Sirius said firmly, glaring at his friend until he sighed and muttered, "Fine. You risk your life for me, then."

Lilly smiled as Sirius commented, "I'd jump off a cliff for you and you know it."

James grinned and pulled Sirius into a hug. He whispered, "Thank you."

"No, thank you, James. For trusting me like this."

James smiled. "'Course I trust you; you're my best friend. You're like my brother, Sirius."

Sirius laughed and stood up. "I'd better get going."

Lilly told him, "Come visit us from time to time, Sirius. We're going to need some company – after all, we're going to be here for a while. And let us know when Remus gets home."

"Will do," Sirius promised as they walked to the door. He stepped out of the house and went down the path, collecting his bike on the way, and out of the gate. As soon as he was outside, he turned around and watched as the house faded and disappeared as though it had never been there.
For the whole of the next week Sirius was on edge, dreading an attack from a bunch of Death Eaters. He was supposed to be giving up smoking again, but the constant stress was making that impossible. Remus didn't complain, but Sirius knew he didn't approve. But Remus understood why, if he couldn't know how Sirius was feeling. He knew what it was like to be addicted to something …

He returned home a week after the spell was cast over number seven Godric's Hollow, in almost perfect health. Sirius spent the night before frantically attempting to clean almost two months worth of dust and spider webs out of the house. No mean feat when he disliked spiders intensely and had to evict every one from the premises. In the end, he had to call Peter over to give him a hand.

All night, Peter kept shooting him odd little sideways glances. Sirius caught him staring nervously at him from time to time. Eventually, the house was cleaned as closely to Remus' standards as was possible for Sirius Black. Sirius made them both a cup of tea and as they sat in the lounge drinking them Sirius asked, "What's the matter, Pete?"

Peter jumped, almost spilling his tea. "W-what? Sorry? N-nothing's the matter. Why?"

"It's just you keep looking at me like I'm on my deathbed or something …"

"I-it's the whole S-secret K-k-keeper thing. I-I take it James chose y-you? Have you done the – the spell yet?" Peter asked, his eyes darting around the room. Sirius frowned. Something was telling him to be suspicious of his friend. Peter had known the rest of the Marauders for years – since they started school – but the way he kept looking at Sirius was unnerving. And his stutter was worse than usual; a sure sign he was nervous. He decided to play it safe. He shrugged. "James chose me, yeah, but we haven't done the spell yet."

"I-I thought you were s-s-supposed to be doing it a-a week ago?"

"No, it's been changed. Snivellus says it's not as urgent as he thought."

Was that a flicker of a smug smile across Peter's features? No! It couldn't be. Peter was on their side – in the Order of the Phoenix! Sirius' thoughts were shattered when Peter asked, "Has he t-told you the l-location?"

"No," Sirius replied calmly, though he was now quite worried. OK, it was an innocent question but Peter's eyes looked a bit … odd. The man set down his cup on the floor and leant forwards. "Has he ch-chosen what part of the c-country? Is he l-looking for somewhere in a w-wizarding community, or a M-Muggle place? Is he thinking of any o-o-other precautions to – to make it even m-more secure?"

Peter was asking WAY too many questions now. Unreasonable panic began to rise in Sirius' throat. He took a breath to calm down and decided to play the ignorance card. Peter would believe it, too. It was quite sad, really, how gullible he was.

"I have no idea. Look, Peter, I don't meant to be rude, but I need some sleep. And if you've finished …" Sirius tailed off, stubbing out a cigarette in the ashtray. That would be the last. The last ever, he had sworn to himself. He still had to get rid of that and all the others throughout the house, not to mention the empty packets, before Remus came home. Well, it would only take five minutes.

Peter looked down and then got to his feet. He smiled. "OK, then. I'd b-better be off anyway. L-let me know when you've done the spell, won't you. J-just so I know they're s-safe, you know. I wouldn't want a-anyone to be – to be hurt."

Peter laughed nervously. Sirius stood up and walked him to the door, watching him until he disappeared around the corner in his clapped out old mini. Then he shut the door and leant on it heavily. Sirius didn't exactly suspect Peter of being a Death Eater – no one would be less likely – but from the way he had been talking …

It was said that the Dark Lord could use the Imperius curse with terrifying dexterity. Sirius sighed, telling himself Peter was innocent. Still – thank God he was gone.
(A/N: First off, Peter Pettigrew is EVIL! (And portrayed as such a slimy, ugly little GIT in the PoA film - thank you, whoever picked him! I still think that film rocks! And I lov the line: "Bickering like an onld married couple". Thank you scriptwriters, too!) Now. Sorry it's short! I couldn't drag things out any longer with the Secret Keeper thing. Originally, the bit about Peter was at the beginning of the next chapter - one of them was going to be short, and I decided to make it the next one … never mind. I hope the next chappie makes up for the long depressing bit, at least a little … Review, please. Please?)