Jay and Silent Bob vs. The Labyrinth

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters; the characters within the Labyrinth belong to Jim Henson, and Jay, Silent Bob, Dante, and Randall belong to Kevin Smith. This story however, is a figment of my imagination.

AN: I am so happy that everyone has really enjoyed the first chapter of this story...however, it WILL only get better...I also wanted to let any J/S romance fans know that I have also written a smutty J/S short story that has an NC-17 rating that I cannot post here...it is called "Sin City" and it is posted on my website, Sharkdiver's realm. The link to my website is in my profile. I would appreciate any reviews to my short story as well, I encourage all to sign my guest book and leave me reviews of the site, or of my work in general...Thanks so much!!! Please read and review!!!


Chapter 2 - "Enter The Labyrinth"

Sarah and Jay appeared on the edge of the hill overlooking the Labyrinth. Jareth's voice echoed around them.

"You Have 13 hours in which to reach the castle in the center of the Labyrinth, or your...friend will remain here forever...such a pity..."

Jay looked out over the sprawling Labyrinth, and then at Sarah.

"We have 13 hours...there's plenty of time to fuck!"

"Ahh...I don't think so. Besides, you will need as much time as possible to get to that castle."

Sarah looked longingly towards the castle for a brief moment, but Jay noticed her expression and couldn't resist commenting....

"You're attracted to that glittery sideshow freak, aren't you!" Jay spat

Sarah, caught off-guard by Jay's accusation stammered, "what? N...No!"

"Yeah you are, you want to smoke his pole...I know the type."

"Whatever...let's get moving." Sarah muttered walking off towards the Labyrinth's gate, as Jay followed behind.


Silent Bob sat in the pit in the center of the throne room surrounded by unruly goblins. Jareth sat on his throne, crop tapping on his boot, looking utterly bored.

Bob took in his surroundings and reached into his pocket and pulled out a joint. No better way to think calmly than to get high. He put the joint to his lips, lit it, and inhaled deeply drawing in as much smoke as his lungs could hold. Jareth however, didn't miss a beat and was standing in front of Silent bob.

"And just WHAT do you think you are doing?"

Silent Bob exhaled a large amount of smoke and handed the joint to Jareth. Jareth looked at Bob completely stunned, so Bob made motions with his hand for Jareth to take a hit.

Jareth looked down at the small joint in his delicate hands and asked Silent Bob, "Is this the same plant that is traditionally smoked in a pipe?" Obviously meaning pipe tobacco.

Silent Bob looked up thoughtfully and shook his head with a wide grin. What Jareth didn't know wouldn't hurt him...maybe he would even lighten up a little...

Jareth looked at the joint again and said, "Well, I used to rather enjoy smoking a pipe." As he took a deep puff off of the joint.


15 Minutes later, Sarah and jay were still wandering aimlessly.

"Where is that damn worm??!!" Sarah groaned.

"What are you bitching about now? This isn't no fucking Labyrinth, Shit, it's got no fucking turns!!!"

"No, really, there are openings, they're just hidden in the walls..."

"OK, stop. Time for a smoke break."

"Ugh! We don't have time for you to be smoking cigarettes every five minutes!!!"

"This ain't no cigarette, this is mother fucking chronic weed..."

"You...you are going to do drugs? Here? Now?!!?" Sarah said horrified.

"That's the plan sweet tits."

"Excuse me??"

"You need to take a hit, you are way to uptight. Maybe after you smoke some of this you won't be such a fucking bitch."

"Don't you call me a bitch, I don't do drugs!"

"Fucking priss, here take a puff...this shit will help you find that crazy door you've been moaning about."

Sarah thought for a moment. She had never smoked pot before, but she had learned that she shouldn't take anything for granted in the Labyrinth...and getting worked up wouldn't solve anything.

"This will keep me relaxed and help me to think more abstractly?"

"Sure. If you say so, just shut up and smoke."

Sarah hesitantly took the smoldering joint from Jay and held it to her lips. Jay instructed her to hold in the smoke as long as she could after she inhaled it. Slowly she inhaled it, but nearly fell over in a coughing fit. Jay urged her to try again, but relax, so once again, she took a hit and this time held it in.

Sarah plopped down next to Jay leaning on the wall for support. They could spare a few minutes right?


Back in the castle...

Jareth sat down in the pit with Silent Bob, Laughing hysterically, hand clenched tightly over his stomach from laughing pain.

"L...Look!" Jareth shrieked as he laughed even harder and pointed to one of the goblins.

The goblin just stared blankly back at the Goblin King in confusion. The throne room was completely silent except for Jareth's hysterics. Silent Bob looked at Jareth and raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"That is the ugliest thing I have ever seen!" Jareth burst out laughing even harder.

Silent Bob shook his head and gave Jareth another hit off of the joint.

"This stuff is fabulous! Wherever did you manage to acquire it?" Jareth asked Bob.

Silent Bob just made a motion to zip his lips, letting Jareth know that it was a secret. He then reached back into his over coat pocket and pulled out another joint and gave it to Jareth.

"I'll just ahh...Save this one for later..." Jareth tucked it into his vest pocket and tapped it lightly with his hand for safekeeping. He couldn't imagine what would happen if the Goblins ever got a hold of it.

"Let's check in on your friends, shall we?"

Silent Bob shrugged his shoulders and looked back up at Jareth.

Jareth formed a crystal on his fingertips and began to swirl it when...Ooops!

Jareth stifled another laugh and kicked the shattered crystal shards away from his boots as he cleared his throat.

"Let's try that again..." Jareth muttered under his breath.

Silent Bob's mouth hung open in amazement as he watched Jareth twirl the crystal deftly from hand to hand.

"Show mw Sarah." Jareth spoke aloud.

In the crystal, all Jareth could see was thick swirling smoke.

"What in the Underground??"

Silent Bob scratched his head and looked at Jareth in confusion. Jareth stood quickly and mumbled, "I'll be back." As he disappeared leaving Silent Bob alone in the throne room.

"What do you two think you are doing?" Jareth snapped.

Jareth looked down to see Sarah slumped against the wall laughing so hard she was shaking. There appeared to be crinkled paper all around her on the ground.

"What is the meaning of this? And what is the mess?"

Sarah laughed so hard she snorted and fell over in a pitch of hysterics...

"She's got the munchies dude...I hooked her up with some candy bars I swiped from the Qwik Stop. She's totally baked!"

"Baked? What?" Jareth sputtered in confusion.

Jareth looked down and saw the remnants of a joint in Jay's hand and immediately understood why Sarah was acting the way she was.

Jareth blushed slightly, "Do remember, you are on sort of a time schedule here."

"Yeah, yeah, we'll be moving in a minute." Jay spat back at Jareth

Jareth shook his head as he looked down at the heap that was Sarah before he disappeared.


AN: I hope everyone enjoyed that bit...more is coming shortly. Please review; I want to thank everyone who reviewed this story for ch. 1...you all made my day :)

Thanks to: Jester, Naina, Prettylittleowl, Dawn, Sweet Audrina, Barbie3sunset, Terrie, and Larina. If I didn't mention your name, and you left me a review, I thank has been messed up, and won't show me all of my reviews...it just means I haven't seen it yet :) Thanks again!!!