Jay and Silent Bob vs. The Labyrinth
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters; the characters within the Labyrinth belong to Jim Henson, and Jay, Silent Bob, Dante, and Randall belong to Kevin Smith. This story however, is a figment of my imagination
AN: Woooo! Two chapters in a row!!! You know the drill, please read and review.
Chapter 4 – "How's about a hand job?"Sarah screamed as she and Jay fell continually downward in a blackish-gray spiral.
"HELP!!!"
Hands immediately stopped their descent as they grabbed onto Jay and Sarah.
"What the hell is this shit??!!" Jay asked.
"We're helping hands." The hands replied.
"What the fuck..." Jay uttered in amazement, as he looked at all the different faces the hands were forming by coming together.
"Which way?" The hands asked
"Huh?"
"Up or down? We haven't got all day..."
"We'll go down!" Sarah cut in before Jay could answer.
"WHAT!!?? We need to get back up!" Jay yelled over to her as the hands began to let go.
"Shh...don't worry...I know a short cut."
"So...you wanna go down, huh?" Jay laughed under his breath.
"Will you fucking drop it already???" Sarah shrieked at him.
Sarah and Jay landed in the oubliette with a thud.
"A little fuckin dark in here, don't you think?" Jay yelled out as he waited for someone to switch on the light.
"Yeah, moron, we are in an oubliette...it's supposed to be dark."
"Supposed to be dark? What like a French whorehouse? If someone's giving out freebies, I wouldn't mind a piece of pie. Shit I should've asked those helping hands for a hand job!"
Sarah laughed, "I just have to find the door, it might take me a few minutes." Sarah reassured Jay.
Sarah reached out blindly trying to get to the wall when she hit something warm and solid.
"Who...who's there?" Sarah squeaked, not sure if she really wanted to know.
"Me." Came a husky voice out of the darkness.
"Hoggle?"
Hoggle lit a match as he walked towards her and Jay.
Jay looked Hoggle over and noticed a rather large bulky Jewelry sac hanging from his pants.
"Who's this little faggot?"
Sarah glared daggers at Jay as Hoggle just looked unphased by Jay calling him a faggot.
"This is my friend Hoggle. He helped me so much the last time I was here."
"Sarah, are you alright? He hasn' hurt ya or nuthin, has he?" Hoggle asked in concern.
"Who? Jay or Jareth?"
"Dude, I've asked her nicely and she still hasn't fucked me yet."
Hoggle looked at Jay in confusion, not quite understanding what Jay was saying.
"Sarah, what are you doing back in the Labyrinth?"
"Well, Jay here wished away his friend Silent Bob by mistake and he had the option of solving the Labyrinth to get him back."
"Alright, but that doesn't tell me why you're here."
"Well, it was my fault it happened. Jay found my book and used it to wish away Silent Bob. If my book had never fallen into his hands this never would've happened."
"And Jareth agreed to let YOU help him solve the Labyrinth, just like that?"
"Well, no, not exactly..."
"What changed his mind?"
"I made a bargain with him."
"What sort?"
"Put it this way, after this, you'll be seeing a lot of me around this place."
"You have to stay here??? FOREVER???"
"Yes."
"Sarah, what have you done?"
"Oh, it's all right little man...she's hot for that glittery mother fucker." Jay interjected
"What? Sarah, are you in love with Jareth?"
"Well, I..."
"You...you are?" Hoggle managed to choke out.
"Yes, I suppose I am. I always have been." Sarah finally admitted.
"HOLY FUCKIN SHIT. She wants to fuck!"
"Don't get your hopes up...even if I did, I certainly wouldn't fuck you..."
Jay stuck his bottom lip out in a fake pout.
"Well, we have to get Jay through this Labyrinth. Hoggle, can you help us find that door again?"
"O'course."
"Muchas Gracias little buddy, I'll save some snoochie moochie poochie for ya!"
Hoggle looked bewildered at Jay once again and hobbled over to the small door. He quickly lifted the small door off of the ground and attached it to the wall. As the door swung open, light filtered into the oubliette.
Jay jumped up and grabbed Sarah, pulling her along.
"Let's get moving...we have to get to Silent Bob!" Jay urged.
"Oh...I thought you didn't really care about it be that the Labyrinth is giving you a change of heart?"
"Nah, he has the rest of my weed. I only have one joint left."
"Oh."
"Thanks little dude, if we see a little slut we'll send her your way brother!"
Hoggle shook his head and closed the door to the oubliette.
