Disclaimer: I do not own: Yu-Gi-Oh!, McDonalds, The Matrix, Picasso, Ireland, Japan, Stonehenge, England, Hercules, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the FFIX/III movie or Newgrounds.com. And believe me, I don't really want to.

The three sat around a small table in McDonalds, all in disguise. Mokuba was wearing a dress, Joey was wearing a wig and sunglasses (and a dress), and Yami had the unbelievable - flat hair.
"I don't see how this is necessary..." Joey muttered, looking at the toy stroller which had an equally disguised Millennium TV.
"It is." Yami insisted, straightening the tie on his oversized business suit. "I'm the father, you're the mother, Josephine, Mokuba's the daughter, Moccacino, and that-" He pointed to the Millennium TV, "- is the baby, Millie. Understood?"
"Yes..." The other two nodded, exchanging a look that clearly said Yami had lost his mind.
"Now, I'll go get us dinner." He said. "What do you want"
Joey thought. "I'll have a Big Mac-"
"You mean, Kaiba Burger." Mokuba cut in.
"What?!"
"Awhile ago, Seto got really drunk, so I dared him to pay McDonalds to have a burger, a drink, and a dessert named after him."
"Not the coke, not the coke..."
"That's Carbonated Kaiba."
Yugi, who had suddenly appeared on the scene, looked aghast. "Soft serve?!"
"Seto serve."
There was a moment of uneasy silence... well, silence minus the sobbing Joey, who was moaning about great injustice.
"Damn, he must have been really drunk." Yami said with a slight grin, as Mokuba nodded. "... I think we can have dinner later."

-At KaibaCorp-

Saseko (who was still petting Seto) smiled at the horde of people she had invited. Namely, the people who would re-decorate KaibaCorp.
"I want everything... to be pink!" She said with a giggle.
One of the redecorators, a man called Brenda, rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I sense a grave disturbance in the force..." He said in a low voice.

-At Kaiba's mansion-

"Okay," A very un-girly Mokuba said, "We have three hours. Then, Saseko will come, with the redecorators, to paint the house PINK."
"You know that... how?" Joey asked.
"I once bugged his main office."
Yami nodded. "Alright. Now, what's our plan of attack?"
The boy grinned very, very evilly. "Matrix-style."
"AGENT SMITH! Oh how I've missed you!" Joey cackled.
"Well, not really... but yeah. That too. We all dress up like Neo in the first movie. Mainly because the second movie sucked and stole a bunch of scenes from the first."
Yami and Joey exchanged looks. "But he wore a long coat..." They said in confused unison.
Mokuba grinned again. "I thought of that. We'll be wearing Seto's old ones."

-Later-

Joey sighed. "I hate this. I really hate this. But the guns make it bearable." He made a grab for the bazooka that Mokuba and Yami were pulling out of the foam padding behind a Picasso.
"No, Joey! This is for later!" Mokuba hissed, stamping on his foot, and accidentally letting go of his end of the bazooka.
Unfortunately, the bazooka was heavy. Even more unfortunately, Yami had just changed back to Yugi.
"ERK!" He made the sound of a dying crow, and fell backwards.
Mokuba laughed nervously. "Sorry, Yugi..." He mumbled, and helped the breathless boy up.
"Stop - dropping - heavy things - on me!" Yugi panted, "I like - my spleen!" He then changed back to Yami, for God knows what reason.
Yami glared at Mokuba, and strapped two more guns onto his jeans, thus making a total of seventy-five weapons each.
"Mokuba..." He said, thinking, "How long do we have, overall, to save your brother's soul and destroy Saseko?"
"Uh... about a week, at most."
Joey fell over (though it may have had something to do with the guns). "A week?! How the hell are we going to do that in a week?!"
"I don't know!" Mokuba said, kicking him.
"Ow! Why'd you kick me?"
"You're being annoying!"
Yami sighed, shaking his head.

-A little bit later-

"They're coming!" Mokuba shrieked, looking out a window. "We'll have to go the other way!" He jumped down from his lookout stool and ran off.
"What other way?" Yami asked, running after him (with Joey not too far behind).
"Out the back door! We only have to pass through a strange Irish swamp, and we can come out right next to your game shop!"
"What?!" Yami asked again, this time disturbed.
"Well... I wasn't meant to tell you, but Seto-" He was cut off mid-sentence as the sound of battering rams came from the door. "I'll tell you later. Hurry!"
Yami nodded and followed, remembering something from just before Saseko's arrival...

~Flashback~

"Yami?" Yugi asked that morning, looking out the window of the games shop.
"Yes?"
"There's a..." He peered closer, "A pair of... binoculars in that hedge..."

~End flashback~

The binoculars were gone by the time they'd gone down to investigate. He'd always found it strange.
"Yami! When I say hurry, I mean run faster! I don't mean waste valuable time with pointless flashbacks!" Mokuba looked pissed.
"But it was only a minute long!" Yami protested.
"Yes, but it takes half a minute to faze in and half a minute to faze out! We don't have that kind of time!"
They had now arrived in the basement. "Open the back door!" Mokuba yelled at the computer.
"But what about the rules-" The computer protested.
"Screw the rules! This is a literal matter of life and death!"
"I am soooo telling Seto about your swearing, young man!" The computer hissed, opening the door.

-Outside, in the Irish Swamp-

Joey looked around. "Do either of you find it strange that there's an Irish swamp in the middle of Japan?"
Mokuba and Yami looked at him. "No."
"Oh. Okay then."
They barred the door with a few large pieces of driftwood (which Joey also found strange, but didn't comment on), and set off through the hilly brush.
"It's not a hill..." Joey muttered, but not loud enough for anyone (including the previous narrator, who had gone to get a bagel) to hear.

-About an hour later-

"Four thousand three hundred and twenty-nine point two bottles of beer on the wall, four thousand three hundred and twenty-nine bottles of beer..." They sung, after starting at one million just after the cut an hour before.
Yami then pushed a stray log out of their oddly well cut path, not missing a word.
Suddenly...
"AHAHAHA! YOU HAVE FALLEN RIGHT INTO MY TRAP!"
He looked up, scanning the area. "There's only one person who talks like that..."
A boy with... really bad hair jumped down from a tree, wearing a dress made from various insect parts. "Hello, Yugi!"
"Oh, crap, not him..." Yami sighed, shaking his head. "Weevil, what do you want?!"
Weevil scowled. "I want to duel you!"
"No."
The insect duelist's eyes grew big and teary. "But..."
"In a week! We have to get the hell out of here!"
"Why?"
"Because there's a stampede of transvestite redecorators after us!"
Weevil's eyes widened. "Holy crap, you're in deep shit!"
No one happened to notice that a child was there, grinning gleefully at all the indecent language. But anyway, the three nodded.
"Yes, we are. Would you happen to know a quicker way out of here?" Joey asked.
"I might..."
Yami frowned. "Do I really have to repeat the transvestite redecorator thing?"
"Right down this path, take a right at the fork - definitely don't go left or you'll find yourself at Stonehenge -, then go over the bridge and you're out."

-At the bridge-

After buying souvenirs during their small trip to England, they were at the bridge Weevil had told them about.
They hadn't crossed it yet - mainly because there was a strange person wearing a robe very akin to that of the Rare Hunters.
"I'm not a Rare Hunter, you fool!" The person yelled at the narrator, brandishing a stick at them (that narrator had gone off to cry).
Weevil (who had accompanied them) stepped forward. "This is one of Kaiba's security procedures. I'll show you what to do."
He neared the bridge, when the hermit-person noticed him.
"Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see."
"Fine."
The hermit-man frowned. "What... is your name?"
"Weevil Underwood."
"What... is your quest?"
"To get them almost the whole way through before assaulting them and stealing all their stuff- I mean-AAARGH!" He screamed, as an invisible force picked him up and dropped him into the swamp.
Yami swore under his breath. "I'll try-"
"No! I will!" Mokuba bravely said, stepping forward. "I can go the distance!"
Yami nodded, deciding to question him about the strange line from Hercules later.
The hermit-man grinned, seeing Mokuba. "Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see."
"Yes, yes, we know that."
"What... is your name?"
"Mokuba Bridget Kaiba."
Yami and Joey stared at each other.
"What... is your quest?"
"To free my brother from Saseko."
"What... is the name of the movie that is being ripped off?"
Mokuba thought for a moment. "Well, the whole bridge-keeper thing is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but the question you just asked me is obviously stolen from a Final Fantasy XI/III flash movie I saw on Newgrounds.com one day. So, which one?"
The hermit-man was agape. "Huh? I-- I don't know that. Auuuuuuuugh!" He went into the swamp.
Yami and Joey cheered, rushing forward.
They could now proceed... with part three.

-A tiny wee bit later, after they'd gone-

The hermit-man lay in the swamp water, bored. "My name's actually Jim, y'know...