*sigh* Alas, I do not own anything. I didn't own anything last chapter, and I sure as hell won't own anything next chapter.
In case you needed to know, / is Yugi to Yami, // is Yami to Yugi.
And yes, I'm bashing Canada (and Australia) to hell. I apologise. Really, I do.

-Outside-

"Ahhh..." Yugi said, stretching in the sun. "It's good to be out of there!"
Mokuba nodded. "Seto's always prepared."
"I don't think anyone could be prepared for something like this, Mokuba..." Joey trailed off at the glare, and decided to change the subject. "Talking about preparation, where'd Seto get these black coats?"
"That has nothing to do with preparation."
"Just answer the question!"
Mokuba huffed. "Fine. He went through a Metallica phase a few years back."
"I shouldn't have asked."
"No. You shouldn't have."
There was a moment of silence.
During the said moment of silence, Mokuba picked his nose, Yugi tested how many times he and Yami could mind swap in one minute, and Joey was absent-mindedly poking the narrator, who got huffy and left.
As Yami appeared for the eighty-ninth time with twenty seconds left, he gasped.
/Yami? What is it?/
//Holy mother of Tina Turner...//
Yugi gained control of his body, and looked in the direction Yami had been looking in (which wasn't very hard, considering that his head hadn't moved since spotting whatever had thrown their attempt at a world record off track). He gasped, too.
"What is it, Yug'?" Joey asked. He looked, too. And gasped.
Mokuba looked in the direction they were looking in, and he gasped.
So they all stood there, staring, with wide eyes and open mouths.
Inside the game shop (where they were staring), Malik heard something, turned around, and he gasped, too. He quickly paid Yugi's grandfather for what he had just bought, and ran out, leaving a very disgruntled grandfather, who had only been paid five dollars.
Unfortunately, he couldn't run off in time, and was caught up to by the three, who had snapped out of their dream state.
"MALIK?!" Yugi gasped, tugging on the boy's arm.
"No shit, sherlock." Malik said, pulling his arm away from Yugi's grubby little hands. "I'm allowed to shop wherever I damn well please."
Joey was hiding behind Mokuba, making a cross with his fingers.
Mokuba, however, was amused at the use of swear words. But he was also curious. "Malik, why aren't you... acting... uh, normal?" And by normal, he meant Malik normal. Not normal normal.
Malik shrugged. "I'm only an evil atrocious corrupt vile immoral wicked nefarious hateful socially unacceptable mentally unstable psycho when they pay me to be one."
"They?" Joey asked.
"Yes, they. All I get is a package in the mail, telling me what to do, and with a large sum of money."
"Oh." Joey and Mokuba said in unison.
Yami, who had just appeared, wasn't so easily fooled. "So you were paid to take my power, too?"
"No, you pathetic has-been. I will get your puzzle."
Yami laughed. "Yeah, when pigs fly and teletubbies descend from the thundery skies!"
Right at that moment, a pig flew overhead, dark clouds appeared, thunder, lightning and rain started, and the sounds of doped up aliens came from nearby.
"... You're still not getting my puzzle." Yami said, indignant.
"Oh, won't I?" Malik was amused, "Pharaoh, I can and will."
"How?"
Malik put a hand in his pocket, took a dramatic pause, and pulled out...
"A karaoke contest?!" Yami nearly screamed, "Malik, we don't have time! We have one week to save Kaiba's soul!"
Malik frowned. "A week starting when?"
Mokuba pulled out his pocket calendar. "A week starting yesterday."
"Oh, perfect!" Malik grinned, "It's on Sunday!"
Yami swore in Egyptian.
"I heard that, Pharaoh."
Yami then made the one fingered motion that was known all around the world, except for a small town in Canada.
Malik wondered why a small town in Canada wouldn't know what the symbol was, but didn't say anything. "You will be in my karaoke contest, Pharaoh." Well, he did say something. But not about the Canada thing.
Yami sighed. "Fine. If I'm ALIVE next Sunday, I'll be in your damned karaoke contest."
"... What the hell? Who's killing you without my previously given written and oral permission?!"
The three heroes exchanged a glance, and told Malik the whole story.

-After the story-

"Holy Hank!" Malik yelled, starting a passing motorist and causing a large crash, "Are you telling me that this girl stole Kaiba's soul through marriage?!"
"Yes." The three said in unison.
"Why the hell haven't I tried that?!" Malik gasped, giving Yami a strange glance.
"Malik, you couldn't get me to marry you if you dragged me to Vegas and gutted a frog." Yami snarled.
"It was only a suggestion..."
Joey suddenly got a brainstorm, and quickly conspired with Mokuba. Giggling, they wrote something on a napkin. "Yug'?"
Yami turned from the staring contest he was having. "Yes?"
"Could you... ah, read this?" Joey handed him the napkin.
Yami shrugged. "Okay... Isle of Seto Kai- WAIT A SECOND!"
Joey and Mokuba were rolling on the pavement in shits and giggles. Malik was just greatly amused. "That explains a lot, Pharaoh."
"SHUT. UP." The disgruntled Pharaoh tossed the napkin away, to where Mokuba caught it, just in case it could benefit them later.
The narrator then jumped out a window, mainly because of how damn pointless it all was.

-At KaibaCorp-

Saseko's neatly trimmed metallic pink fingernails drummed against the dark wood of her throne. Seto's head was, as usual, lying in her lap.
"Ladies and gentlemen!" She said, starting to stroke Seto's hair. A hairstylist - Sakura, Brenda's cousin - twitched. He hated seeing hair that hadn't been washed in over a week. In fact, it was nauseating.
"As you know, I am nearing world domination. But first, we must conquer the United States of America!" She cackled. "In order to do that, we will be setting up KaibaCorp branches through Canada!"
"Why Canada?" Brenda asked loudly. He liked Canada. He liked the da-da-da sound.
Sakura snorted. "I'm not going to mention Celine Dion..."
Saseko heard. "C-Celine?! She's from Canada?" Her eyes sparkled. "Call off the invasion! We take Australia instead!"
They all nodded. After all, who liked Australia?

-Back near the shop-

Yugi had regained control just as Yami began strangling Malik, who had asked if he knew what color Seto's briefs were.
//He wears boxers, for Pete's sake! Light blue boxers with the KaibaCorp logo!//
/Yami... PLEASE tell me you're joking./
//Did I... did I leave the connection on?//
/Yes, you did. Now tell me you were JOKING./
//I was... uh, yeah. Joking. Yeah.//
Mokuba happened to notice Yugi's inner torment, and watched the expressions cross over his face.
/That's not sincere enough./
//Uh...//
/And when did you see, anyway?/
//I thought I was joking?//
/Cut the crap./
//YUGI! Wash your head with soap!//
/All I want is a perfectly logical reason why you know what Kaiba wears under his clothes./
//Oh. Well, it was one time at your school, when we were changing for sport.//
Yugi looked relieved. He then noticed Mokuba staring at him. "What?"
"Nothing..."
"Uh... yeah. Anyway, Malik!"
"Yes?"
"Will you join us?"
Malik raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"Join us! Please! We might need your help!"
"Well..." Malik thought, "I'll help if you give me your puzzle."
Yugi sighed. "No, you'll help or I tell everyone what you bought in my grandfather's shop!"
"Y-you wouldn't!"
After about half a minute of glares, Malik gave in, sinking to his knees. "Fine! Just... please! Don't tell!"
Yugi nodded, and walked off in the direction of their next stop, Joey and Mokuba close behind.
Malik got up, and quietly pulled a small package out of the bag he had been carrying. He gave a sigh of relief. "Phew, none bent..."
He slipped the packet of Pokemon cards back into the beg and followed.