Disclaimer: I'm not putting it again. If you really must, check the last chapter. Nothing belongs to me.
-Walking down the street-
"So," Malik said, strutting casually, "What do we do?"
The other three exchanged glances. They hadn't quite gotten that far.
Malik could see it on their faces and sighed deeply. "You're lucky I'm a genius at planning."
Yugi opened his mouth to reply and recieved a rather evil death glare. "Okay, okay... I'll be quiet..."
-Meanwhile, at a completely unknown location-
"Motou... Domino..." A weak person uttered, then fell over. With a splat. Ouch.
-Back at the street-
"Did you... hear that?" Mokuba asked.
They stared at him. "Hear what?" Joey asked.
Mokuba sighed. "Nevermind..."
Little did they know what he had heard... a grave occurence in the space/time continum, that would shatter their very existence-
Mokuba growled and kicked the narrator, who ran off to cry.
Malik frowned. "Can we get back to my plan?"
"What plan?" Yugi asked.
"The plan that's going to save your sorry asses."
"I repeat, what plan?"
"Don't be a smartass, little Yugi." Malik hissed, pointing a threatening finger at Yugi.
Yami appeared. "Don't threaten him!"
"Make me, Pharaoh!"
Mokuba sighed. It would be a long week. Either that, or they'd never be able to save his brother.
Luckily, he was saved from thinking such thoughts by a ear-peircing, guttural wail that could only be described as one thing, and one thing only.
"Cher's greatest hits!" Joey moaned, clutching his ears. The others were rolling on the ground in agony. In fact, he was too.
"You monster!" Yami yelled to whoever was playing it, "There's a child here!"
The music stopped, and a group of robed people that looked like rare hunters stepped out from behind buildings.
"We're not rare hunters, you fool!"
Malik looked on in confusion. Of course they weren't rare hunters. they didn't have the nifty light purple embroidery. Or the gold chain. Or the glazed over eyes that resulted from smoking far too much dope.
Everyone other than him gave the narrator a strange look. Joey shook his head. "Dude... that puts new meaning to the term 'too much information'."
"Oh, shut up." Malik growled, "Who are these freaks?"
"We aren't freaks!" One said, but was silenced.
"We're not meant to talk, dumbass!" Another hissed.
"I'm sorry... my bad." The first apologized.
They stopped talking and glared at the four.
"Actually, you can't be sure they're glaring." Mokuba said logically.
Joey nodded. "He's right. Since we can't see their faces, they may as well be blinking."
"But they can't show their faces!" Yami protested.
"Why not, Pharaoh?"
Yami motioned towards them. "In order to keep their secretive, evil bad-doer look, they have to have low hoods. If they showed their faces, it'd spoil the tension."
Malik mused on what Yami had said. "Pharaoh... I agree. We must simply assume they are glaring at us."
They all seemed to agree on that.
Then there was a moment of silence.
"Oh, screw this." One of the robed-people-but-not-quite-rare-hunters said, "Let's kill them!"
Another sighed. "Why kill? You're always so violent!"
The first turned to the one that had responded. "I'm not always violent, I'm just doing my job!"
Yet another one stepped forward. "Let's be nice to them!"
"Oh, shut up." The second hissed.
"You!"
Another one stopped the third from attacking the second. "Stop it!"
"I want to cut their heads off!" The first groaned.
"Cut your own head off!" The third grumbled.
The fourth laughed. "Yeah, do us all a favor!"
The first growled. "What?"
"You never shut up!" The second one said, "Just yap yap yap..."
"Hah! You're lucky. You don't have to sleep next to him!" A fifth spoke up.
The second turned to them. "What?"
"On the nights when we have to share beds... ugh, he snores!"
"No I don't!" The first protested. "Anyway, you've got bad breath."
"Only because you always steal my toothpaste and Tic Tacs!" The fifth said accusingly.
The third sighed. "Oh, stop bitching you two and let's go have some tea."
The second nodded. "Yes, let's kill them and have tea and biscuits."
"Yes." The third, fourth, and first said in unison.
"Oh, not biscuits." The fifth mused.
"Okay, not biscuits. What about cake?"
"Yeah, cake's good."
The second nodded. "Alright then, let's kill them and then go and have tea and cake!"
"Right!" The others agreed.
They looked toward where the four had been.
"They've buggered off!" The first said in shock.
The third was staring, too. "So they have! They've scarpered!"
-At the location of wherever they had scarpered to-
"What... the... HELL... was... that!" Yami wheezed, hiding in the dark alley they had frantically ran to.
"I think I know..." Joey said, catching his breath, "Nazgül. Or Nazgûl. Or Nazgul. I can never get that damned 'u' right..."
The others, breathless and confused, stared at him.
"Ringwraiths!"
"... What?" Mokuba asked, "Aren't they from Lord of the Rings?"
"Well, yes... but what other explanation could there be?"
Yami groaned. "More than you would think."
"He thinks, Pharaoh?" Malik asked, amused.
Joey scratched his head. "Sometimes... but it hurts my head. Is that supposed to happen?"
"Uh..." Yami began, looking to Malik and Mokuba for help. They shrugged.
Luckily, the subject was quickly changed when an evil laugh came from above them.
They looked up.
"Bakura... what the hell are you doing?" Yami asked, seeing the english boy standing on a very large pile of crates.
"I'm going for the dominating evil effect."
"Oh."
Bakura jumped down, making an undesirable cracking sound. He winced in pain. "Ow..."
"Bakura, are you okay?" Joey asked.
The white-haired boy snarled. "Oh, I'm just dandy."
Yami sighed. "Which one are you?"
Bakura frowned. "Uh... the english one, chaps."
"Riiight."
Malik cleared his throat. "Can we get back to me yet?"
Everyone stared at him. "No."
"Well, fuck you all!"
Mokuba giggled madly, slightly forgetting his valiant quest.
-At KaibaCorp-
"What do you mean, they got away!" Saseko screeched to the Rare Hunter/Ringwraith lookalikes.
"There aren't many ways to explain it." The third grumbled, "They scarpered."
Yami Withersin appeared, growling. "You'll die for your mistake!"
"Can't you just take over some country instead?" The first pleaded.
"Well..." She thought, "I am angered by Celine Dion's latest album..."
There was a collective gasp.
"Yes. We invade Canada."
-A while later, after explaining everything to Bakura-
"...So," Yami concluded, "Will you help us?"
Bakura thought for a moment. "Your request is not unlike your lower intestine: stinky and loaded with danger."
Yami rolled his eyes. "Let's not beat around the bush. Are you going to help us, or am I going to kick your teeth in?"
"I'm in, lads."
"That's what I was thinking."
